💬 Off-Topic Deathfat Encounters IRL - This thread is not your personal army.

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This story is passed on from a professor of mine. This guy was seriously 800 pounds. I didn't realize that was humanly possible. He had passed - from related health issues. of course. - his mother was planning his funeral. Only issue is, hearses and coffins are not meant to hold 800 pounds. The funeral home had to rent a U-Haul and figure out how to keep it frozen inside. They had to get a crane to dig a whole big enough for the custom made plywood coffin box. The mother was crying saying the staff "humiliated her". Lady, your son humiliated you by not respecting himself enough to prevent being elephant sized.
 
linhardt said:
This story is passed on from a professor of mine. This guy was seriously 800 pounds. I didn't realize that was humanly possible. He had passed - from related health issues. of course. - his mother was planning his funeral. Only issue is, hearses and coffins are not meant to hold 800 pounds. The funeral home had to rent a U-Haul and figure out how to keep it frozen inside. They had to get a crane to dig a whole big enough for the custom made plywood coffin box. The mother was crying saying the staff "humiliated her". Lady, your son humiliated you by not respecting himself enough to prevent being elephant sized.
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Well, it’s safer than having him cremated. Whales are known to explode post mortem if enough gases build up in their carcass.

Thread tax:
There is a hambeast that I only work with roughly four hours a week, but holy fuck is she ever the embodiment of everything bad about fatties. We’ll call her Debu (I’ll explain later). She’s probably 400 pounds but honestly she could be a hundred pounds and still be a fatty the way she acts. For starters, the staff office at this particular school is rather narrow even for someone of my size, so she quite literally cannot move around. Her desk is at the corner closest to the door because she physically cannot squeeze herself in at all. If she needs something from the other side of the office, someone has to get it and bring it to her. You’d think this would be embarrassing enough to motivate her to slim down, but she’s perfectly fine barking orders at people. On top of that, she’s an ALT so she only speaks English, but she will laugh at anyone who tries to speak English with her and make fun of them relentlessly.


Her laugh. Jesus fucking Christ on highest, her laugh.


Her laugh makes Chantal sound like Princess Diana. You can literally just be standing there and it’ll set her off. “HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! What’s wrong with you? Why are you standing like that? HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! You’re so weird! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE—”


But it’s not just the laughing. It’s the hitting. She has to hit everyone and everything in her vicinity when she laughs, and those baseball mitt hands hit HARD. I’ve genuinely lost it on her before because she suddenly started wiping chalk off my butt without saying what she was doing, then hit me when I got upset.


The English teacher at her school, who I’ve known for a few years as a cheerful and active gentleman, has turned into an absolute shell of himself after having to work with her as his assistant. That’s because she is constantly slowing down his classes, interrupting him with unrelated and boring stories about her home country, and farting.


Yes, farting. Almost every class.


We both come from the US btw, but she excuses it by saying that “in America, farting isn’t rude”. I’m dead serious. Here’s a snippet of the last class I observed:


“*BRAAAAP* HEE HEE HEE! Sorry! Me full. Oooh, stomach big! Lunch too big! Big rice! HEE HEE HEE!”


Hm, was that phrased a little weird? That’s because instead of actually teaching English, she acts like her students are retard monkeys and compensates by speaking broken, condescending English, complete with undecipherable signs for every single word, effectively turning a single sentence into Downy Child’s First School Play. On that note, the student population at her school is also small but there are indeed quite a few special ed. students so when I’m at this school I’m usually just assisting them. But ‘assisting’ turns into shielding when they have to go to her class, because she hits the students too. Whether she’s happy or mad or I gues hungry, she hits. She’ll take the paper she’s holding and smack students on the head or arms, push them, smack her hand on their desk, etc. I’ve warned her multiple times that the students I work with are adjusting to behavioral medication that can make them sleepy and unfocused but she doesn’t care. She constantly complains that the students are “disrespecting her” even though they are EXCEEDINGLY respectful despite her godawful attitude. Anytime they’re in the hallway talking to each other about what they want to do at recess or what have you, she gets huffy and jumps in with “ENGLISH! ENGLISH!” even though it’s outside of their English studies. Hilariously the one time a student did call her fat, she didn’t even catch it because “debu” sounds like her name, so she pointed to herself and said “Debu! Debu! My name debu! HEE HEE HEE HEE!” Hence the name.


And look, we all know fatties smell. But you don’t understand. She doesn’t just smell. She doesn’t even stink. She REEKS. She smells like an adult diaper in the hot sun, dipped in bacon grease. Every time she moves the smell gets worse, so I truly have to believe she’s constantly walking around with shit in her pants. And like I said, this staff office is very small and it’s cold now so they’re keeping the windows closed. You can imagine how that’s going. She’s also a pathological liar so any time she notices someone getting frustrated with her fat antics she’ll make up stories insisting the complete opposite. “I was at the gym the other day and this guy came up to me and started flirting with me and he said I smelled sooo good, HEE HEE HEE HEE!” “I’m on a diet and I literally haven’t eaten in three days so I’m in ketosis and that’s why my breath probably smells weird, HEE HEE HEE HEE!”


Now, the weird(er) part.


I’ve seen a video of the Diaper Debu in high school. She was 150lbs at the very most, incredibly muscular and athletic. But that’s not the biggest (pun intended) thing that changed about her. In the video she was giving a presentation about measures to counteract global warming, and she was a completely different person. I would’ve thought Debu was just telling another one of her weird lies again if she hadn’t announced her full name in the beginning. In the video she was poised, eloquently spoken, and most notably she wasn’t farting through the whole thing. So what the fuck happened? My theory is that fat buildup in the brain cells causes profound retardation, as we can see in the case of Debu. There’s just no other explanation. Some people get fat because they’re retarded. Some people get retarded because they’re fat. That’s my only takeaway. Word is her company is ending her contract this year, so here’s to hoping I survive my last two months of the gigglefart beast.

God help me, I am so tired. We are all so tired.
 
Snusmumriken said:
So what the fuck happened? My theory is that fat buildup in the brain cells causes profound retardation, as we can see in the case of Debu. There’s just no other explanation. Some people get fat because they’re retarded. Some people get retarded because they’re fat.
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I guess there's a reason people say someone is a 'Fathead'...
 
Snusmumriken said:
I’ve genuinely lost it on her before because she suddenly started wiping chalk off my butt without saying what she was doing, then hit me when I got upset.
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Cool, so that's sexual assault on top of regular assault. You're in the US, that's like a lawsuit double whammy right there. Why the hell didn't you report it? In my experience, american schools are so terrified of being sued to the point where they'll do just about anything to placate someone before the word even leaves their lips. Yeah yeah, trash cans and puzzle pieces, but I just can't imagine putting up with that shit.
 
Flaw Peacock said:
Cool, so that's sexual assault on top of regular assault. You're in the US, that's like a lawsuit double whammy right there. Why the hell didn't you report it? In my experience, american schools are so terrified of being sued to the point where they'll do just about anything to placate someone before the word even leaves their lips. Yeah yeah, trash cans and puzzle pieces, but I just can't imagine putting up with that shit.
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I’m from the US but reside in Japan and my company is Japan based as well (although I believe hers is American based). The chalk incident was fairly recent and I did report that to both my supervisors and hers, as well as the vice principal for her school. Her supervisors took it VERY seriously and more or less implied that this wasn’t the first time she’s had complaints like this. I wish they took my complaints about how she treats the students more seriously but unfortunately when it comes to ALTs, Japanese will excuse a LOT of shit as “cultural differences”.
Anywho she told me that her company “offered” her a position outside the company so I’m assuming this is her last year. The few times I’ve seen her around the Board of Education she gets quite a few looks, even from the Japanese who I mentioned put up with a lot of rowdy behavior. If she gets another contract in April, I’ll be pretty shocked.
 
Snusmumriken said:
I’m from the US but reside in Japan
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Ah. Say no more, that unfortunately explains everything, Japan is pretty shit at protecting people from that kind of thing. Apologies, I thought the actual school was in the US. That fucking sucks, man. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Hopefully she's gone soon.
 
>debu
oh no no no, she's subjecting autistic japanese children to her antics?
Death fats are exotic to even most americans, but for the japanese they might as well be mythical dragons.
Is she so unknowledgeable in the language of the country she resides in (or retarded) that she doesn't know debu means fatty?
 
Today there's been a crazy amount of people in my shop that must have been at least 400+pounds. Some were whole deathfat families that could easily be mistaken for pods of whales returning to the nearby ocean. WTF is happening today? Why are there so many?!

One woman caught my eye because it looked like her torso was on backwards. Very small frog-butt, contrasting with a pendulous clefted gunt. Here is a visual representation.
20260215_145329.jpg
Snusmumriken said:
Word is her company is ending her contract this year, so here’s to hoping I survive my last two months of the gigglefart beast.
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I hope you are rid of her soon! I haaaaaate people like that with every fiber of my being. I swear some people dedicate themselves to being the biggest nuisance imaginable.
 
Heavy Duty Boots said:
>debu
oh no no no, she's subjecting autistic japanese children to her antics?
Death fats are exotic to even most americans, but for the japanese they might as well be mythical dragons.
Is she so unknowledgeable in the language of the country she resides in (or retarded) that she doesn't know debu means fatty?
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I can field that one:

ALTs are not hired for their Japanese-language abilities. I heard many times that good Japanese skills are often considered a disadvantage in the recruiting process, for several reasons. I knew ALTs whom could not read kana...

Snusmumriken said:
God help me, I am so tired. We are all so tired.
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Snusmumriken said:
I’m from the US but reside in Japan and my company is Japan based as well (although I believe hers is American based). The chalk incident was fairly recent and I did report that to both my supervisors and hers, as well as the vice principal for her school. Her supervisors took it VERY seriously and more or less implied that this wasn’t the first time she’s had complaints like this. I wish they took my complaints about how she treats the students more seriously but unfortunately when it comes to ALTs, Japanese will excuse a LOT of shit as “cultural differences”.
Anywho she told me that her company “offered” her a position outside the company so I’m assuming this is her last year. The few times I’ve seen her around the Board of Education she gets quite a few looks, even from the Japanese who I mentioned put up with a lot of rowdy behavior. If she gets another contract in April, I’ll be pretty shocked.
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I taught at both eikaiwa and proper classes at a Japanese uni for many years, and thus knew personally quite a few ALTs, and while most were quite good, the only real qualifications for the job are to be a native English speaker, not completely retarded, and most importantly: presentable and not terrifying to the students.

You know all this, I'm sure, and so my question is this:

How is the name of holy hell did this creature get hired in the first place? In addition to her laziness and utter incompetence, she was everything which the Japanese find extraordinarily-repulsive:

-Obese
-Smelly
-Loud
-Given to unwanted physical contact, including sexual harrassment

How?

How is such a person recruited? Have they become that desperate for Anglophone meat-sacks?

I am returning there soon and need to stay far, far away from your employer.

As for you, good luck, and 頑張ってね。君が我慢できるようにと祈っています。

As I mentioned, I am planning to return to Japan very soon, but I have many options open to me, and so I wouldn't mind chatting with an in-country ALT about how things have become there since I left two years ago.

If you're feeling friendly, @ me or post in my profile or however it works around here. I was there for fifteen years, all over the country, so I could tell you some neat stuff too.

And again: good luck, guy.
 
MerriedxReldnahc said:
I haaaaaate people like that with every fiber of my being. I swear some people dedicate themselves to being the biggest nuisance imaginable.
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I've always had a theory that deathfats aren't so cunty because they're fat, they're fat because they're so cunty. These people are just inherently awful people, and with that comes several negative traits that often lead to weight gain, like selfishness and avarice. Decades of indulging their hedonism with reckless abandon and not caring who their behavior hurt, inevitably led to their sorry state. That's why deathfats seem to have such a miserable existence and make that everyone else's problem.

Lord Of Shit said:
I heard many times that good Japanese skills are often considered a disadvantage in the recruiting process, for several reasons.
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Yes, the main one being those who are fluent are able to tell the deal they're getting is awful. They can read and understand enough to know other teachers at their schools get paid way more and get treated better than they do. Remember Suicide Girls? Same thing, the "models" they hired were dumb af cuz the smart ones could see their contracts were incredibly unfair. Obviously ALTs are not stupid, simply not fluent, but they're both being taken advantage of by shitty people who know what they're doing by exploiting those that couldn't understand the raw deal they were walking into.
 
I live in flyover country, so fat is the norm and deathfats aren't uncommon. A solid half of the people at the gym that I go to are moderately to very overweight
and also wasting their fucking time, if you can do fifteen reps in a minute on a lat pulldown machine you're not actually building muscle!! If it's that easy you're doing it wrong! Also please stop whining to each other about how you've been coming to the gym for months and you aren't losing weight when you also talk about the garbage you make for dinner! I need better noise cancelling headphones clearly!
which is fine and cool and they aren't annoying at all.

One of them is a large woman in what I would guess is her early to mid 20s, normal height, I would say at least 300lbs? I'm bad at estimating weight but she is what we refer to around here as a Big Ol Girl and/or a biggun. She occasionally comes in with Starbucks which is wild to me. My main complaint, however, is the smell.

The gym has poor ventilation, so it's always a little bit.... muggy? Unless the fire exit is propped open. It always just kind of smells like People. But this gal has a very specific combination of unwashed body mustiness, something kind of like pee (like an ammonia smell but not a cat pissy smell), and so much Thank U, Next that one can fucking taste it. She drowns herself in perfume and it still doesn't cover up her stank. Even if you aren't in the gym with her you'd still know she was there because it lingers so bad. And forget about using a treadmill after she's done because you're walking into a chamber of can't-reach-my-back-folds and sugary perfume.

I do not like her.
 
Fuck a great place to rant about the deathfat at the office.

There's this massive woman at my job. This lady's pannus hangs down to her SHINS. I have truly never seen anyone quite like this woman. She's always out of breath and waddles the same route each day. From her car (which she parks in the handicap space, of course) to the elevator, to her desk. Maybe 150 feet total and this lady is wiped out from just that. She doesn't really get up for the bathroom but waddles out to the common area for lunchtime and just sits on her phone. We're allowed to have food and drink at our desks if we have our area cleaned by EOD so most people just graze throughout the day and spend their lunch time relaxing so not super uncommon.

Usually I'm not getting in or out at the same time as her, and I actually do a job that requires me to move around the office, but I recently encountered her in the main walkway and it's impressive how fucking entitled she is. In most normal circumstances people passing exchange pleasantries, someone steps out of the way, even a little smile and nod....but not this lady. She just glared at me and didn't stop her waddle to her desk. I mean it's nbd usually but I was carrying a ton of stuff and everyone else had moved out of the way. It made me realize so many other fat people want everyone to cater to them and don't really care to think about how that behavior causes inconveniences for others.

But yeah fuck that lady, hope she trips on her belly since it's almost to that point. Give it six months.
 
honse said:
There's this massive woman at my job. This lady's pannus hangs down to her SHINS. I have truly never seen anyone quite like this woman.
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Go a few pages back, you'll see a photo of someone who matches that description. Til my dying day, I will never understand how a person can allow themselves to get to this point.
 
A Crow Looked at Me said:
In the 80s he was built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, was a Marine, fought in the Gulf War, and was the foreman of the plant for years. Then in the early 2000s he got forced by the company to go to a supplier’s factory in China despite having a crippling fear of flying. He had a PTSD-induced breakdown on the flight.
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With great sadness, I report that this man has died. He passed at the age of 64 on Tuesday. His retirement was scheduled for Friday. Everyone at the factory is beyond devastated.
RIP you were the kindest man I’ve ever worked with. We truly will never be the same without you.
 
One of my good friends is an ex-deathfat. She was nearly 400lbs when we were in high school. She was raised by a neglectful-yet-controlling and mentally ill single mom who allowed her to become dangerously obese by age 4. She was really set up for failure.

Fast forward to our early 30s, she decides she’s had enough and it’s time to take her health into her own hands. Due to having type 2 diabetes since childhood and the damage it caused, she can’t do things like use ozempic or get weight loss surgery. She just sucked it up and lost weight by becoming a calorie-counting/meal planning machine and getting in enough daily exercise. Lost all the weight and looks like a totally different person.

Ironically, in recent years she’s been struggling to keep weight on. She needs a kidney transplant and that requires her to stay on a highly restricted diet while on the waitlist. She’s considered an ideal candidate since she’s proven she has the discipline, so hopefully she can live normally within the next few years.
 
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