💬 Off-Topic Deathfat Encounters IRL - This thread is not your personal army.

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I call shenanigans said:
WLS
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referring to the act of cutting out a part of your stomach to make your less likely to stuff yourself as "weight loss surgery" is so disingenuous
yeah, technically you may lose weight as a result, much in the same way as me taking the wheels of your car is a "crash prevention modification" but man is it fucked up and makes people think its the end-all solution to magically becoming thin

Dr. Butt said:
X
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you're right, people will disagree not because what you say is wrong but because you spoke out of turn instead of coddling
but you're right
 
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Flaw Peacock said:
Of all the strangers I run into in public, deathfats are always the nastiest people to deal with. They always have a massive chip on their even more massive shoulders.
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The ones on scooters do the same "surprise approach from behind with angry screech when they can't get past you" that spoiled children on e-scooters do. Except they're 600-pound femur-snapping siege machines.
 
I saw an honest-to-god, mobility scooter riding, My 600lb Life -level deathfat man at an event recently. His gunt/stomach was bare & hanging between his legs and outside of his shirt and pants, while he was riding around the area, hardly fitting onto his scooter. It was fascinating because his stomach was like an entirely separate entity of him. He was maybe in his 40s (max. early 50s), could have been younger but he looked very unwashed & unkempt.
 
The-Mad-Asshatter said:
what first responders do when they have to clean up a dead morbidly obese person. Doesn't the huge amounts of fat in the overstretched skin make it fragile? That has gotta be a mess
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I can only speak from the perspective of someone who once worked at a photo lab where all of the city's police photos were processed (90s, before digital, obviously.) We did photos of all the mug shots, crime scenes, and autopsies for the police department.

One time, the crime scene was of an extremely morbidly obese woman who had died alone in her efficiency apartment. There was no heat in her room, as evidenced by her use of space heaters (you get where this is going?)

So she died of fat/old/sick, and was in there for a couple of days before the other down-and-outs began reporting The Smell (per the report photographed at the start of the roll of film.) The police forced entry to find her slumped over in front of her space heater. She had basically begun to melt: her flesh had swollen, then burst, in front of the strong heat source.

I recall a puddle of... I don't know, human goo? surrounding the body, so it was on that day I learned that the gasses inside super fats sort of bursts them open, and then their inside fat leaks out, particularly if the body is kept warm. It was horrific.

I have more crimes scene and autopsy horror stories, but none of them related to fats. ~fin~
 
Sowwy for double posting, but I had an interesting fat encounter on my way home today.

City livin' means public transportation is the best way to get where you're going, especially during rush hour. Got on the bus, not my usual route, but I had an errand to run. The bus was extremely crowded, but a kind young man offered me his seat (thanks for the very chivalrous gesture, young man!)

The two disabled seats across the aisle from me were occupied by a black mother whale and her ~400 lbs calf, approximately fifteen years in age. The temperature was a mild 68 degrees, but they were both wearing neck fans. That level of fat.

I've ridden this bus route many times over the years, at all hours of the day and night, and though it runs through a couple of rough neighborhoods, I've never had any trouble. That streak ended today.

This was a full bus - every seat occupied, standing room crammed together like human sardines. So when the sudden bus fight started on the back half of the double bus, people stared falling over each other all the way up to the front. It must have been bad from the jump, because people were hollering to the driver to open the doors and come help. The 400 lbs calf even joined in, though she and Mama Whale were completely insulated from the effects from their disabled seats.

Then I heard a sound you all know if you love body cam videos: zzzzt zzzt. Taser fight! The driver pulls the doors open and screams, "everyone off the bus!" My dumb ass just sits there, because danger just piques my sick interests. I wanted to see this legendary nigger taser fight. But what do I see across from me?

Before anyone else reacts, the mama whale and her calf SHOOT out of the bus like sea lions going in for the kill, with absolutely shocking speeds. I didn't know super fats could move that fast! Now I was just sat there, stunned at this latent athleticism by two MSHPL candidates. It's like someone said the cops were on their way, that's now fast these two moved (no police were coming).

Anyway, they must have waddled away at top speed, because once the fight was broken up, they were nowhere to be seen. I never even got a peek at the taser fight 😔
 
Encountered an incredible deathfat at the gym today.
I go to a low-budget gym so it's pretty common to see just about anyone there. There was this 500-600lb woman who waddled in, already wheezing while using her walker. She was already sweating grease by the time she sat down on a chair that an employee brought out just for her. She had layers, so many layers of just human fat I wasn't even aware humans could have. It was like her face was being eaten by her beige lard-likeness. After sitting there and getting back her breath, she lifts one of her many folds (I assumed it was her breast) and pulls out a diet coke.

She cracks her elixir of cancer and downs a few gulps and it's like even lifting her arm to raise the bottle to her mouth is taxing on her morbidly obese body. I'm absolutely fucking stunned and watch her cap it, put it back under her boob fold then she did some form of exercise while in the chair (raising her arms up and down) for five minutes before taking another swig of coke.

I'm all for deathfats trying to make themselves better, but holy fuck this one seems to be a lost cause. She didn't stick around for long cause she took really long breaks of looking around nervously, sweating oil and then wiping her nose with her palm (WTF).
 
lemonsour said:
she did some form of exercise while in the chair (raising her arms up and down) for five minutes before taking another swig of coke.
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... why can't chair exercise be done from home? Why do deathfats firmly believe that weight can only be lost by being present in a gym, like the demon fat can only be exorcised by worshipping in a 24 Hour Fitness? Diet obviously has nothing to do with weight loss, only people with personal trainers can ever lose weight.
 
multiverse said:
... why can't chair exercise be done from home? Why do deathfats firmly believe that weight can only be lost by being present in a gym, like the demon fat can only be exorcised by worshipping in a 24 Hour Fitness? Diet obviously has nothing to do with weight loss, only people with personal trainers can ever lose weight.
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Easy, because they won't do it at home. They're just gonna sit on their huge asses and eat more. At least going to the gym forces them to Do The Thing, cuz there's nothing else to do there.

The meatflap coke thing is just...transcendental, though. Like, holy shit, I want to see that. That's Andy Kaufman levels of surreal entertainment and I am legitimately sorry I wasn't there to witness it.
 
The Un-Clit said:
I just remembered a deathfat encounter at a Greyhound bus terminal when I was a teenager, with a friend. We were going down to Seattle to catch an Ozzy Osbourne concert (He skipped Vancouver on the Ultimate Sin tour, the roach!) and while sitting waiting for the bus to arrive i noticed a smell of rotting garbage. Literally the same smell as an overflowing trash can out back of a restaurant in the alley. Sure enough I soon noticed an older, very fat woman had come into the room and was clearly the source of the stench. But the worst part was that hanging out from below her dress, well below knee level was the bottom of her fucking gut.

I think you call that a pannaculus or something, but it was hanging PAST HER KNEES, and was dusky gray at the bottom. And the STINK of her! Thankfully when she got on the bus (with help) she immediately sat at the first seat in the front. My friend and I went right to the back.
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GodBear bless the Interbutts. The woman I am talking about here? I found someone who looks EXACTLY like this waddling gutbag I saw back then, except not in a dress. Thus, spoilered. Feast your eyes, if you choose.

Man_the_Harpoons.jpg

I can only wonder how few years she lived after I saw her? I highly doubt she saw in the new millennium.
 
The Un-Clit said:
GodBear bless the Interbutts. The woman I am talking about here? I found someone who looks EXACTLY like this waddling gutbag I saw back then, except not in a dress. Thus, spoilered. Feast your eyes, if you choose.

View attachment 8028657

I can only wonder how few years she lived after I saw her? I highly doubt she saw in the new millennium.
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Do you suppose that hanging appendage is red from a circulatory problem or from being dragged on the ground? It looks painful and I can’t decide if this persons should be an object of pity or derision.
Put down the fucking fork, fatties.
 
Elderly beef taco said:
a greasy pony tail that stuck kinda straight up, suggesting he had someone else tie it.
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He could have used the patented Tess Holliday Technique of lying flat in bed with the arm fat resting as he tied his wicked samurai 'do. Or at least, that's what she did when Bowie was too young to tie a ponytail.
 
I work with a deathfat who has spent most of this year calling out for hospital visits, dr appointments, and "this med makes me sleepy, I won't be in today." Last week, she dm'd us from the hospital saying she can't walk or feel her legs. Pretty sure that's a wrap. 💀

A few years ago when I got promoted, she typed "coagulations" and replied all to the announcement email. I'm guessing the predictive text was leaning into her condishuns.
 

THE RETURN OF THE BOOB SODA DEATHFAT ​

I return with a new update and sighting of the deathfat who I witnessed unsheathe her elixir of sugar from within her sweaty breast. I was working out on the stairmaster and spotted her hobble in with her walker. It was the type where you can push it, but also sit on it in the front. After huffing and heaving past me and other gymgoers, we're hit with the scent of cheesey B.O. and must. No one does anything of course, but we all share exchanges of "Did we really smell that?" as if double-checking if there was a gas leak.

The deathfat continues to hobble until she gets to the designated chair and groans, wheezing and wiping sweat from her bulbous forehead as she rests her arms on her chest that also happens to be resting on her extremely morbidly obese body. I keep watching out of pure curiosity and one of the gym's fitness trainers walks up to her and begins whatever session she paid for. For a good fifteen minutes, she does those arm exercises like before while the gym trainer is coaching her and encouraging her.

Eventually she gets tired and starts huffing, but the trainer says to keep going while she whines (almost like an upset kid who has to do chores). I swear I heard her go "I caaaaaaan't, I'm too.. (wheeze) I'm too tired, these weights are too heavy and my arrrrrrrrrrms keep hurteeen" with some fucked up valley girl voice. The trainer says to do just three more and the lardbeast is NOT happy.

She immediately starts crying and whining even louder in this semi-quiet gym going "I caaaaan't, I caaaannn'tt-uh, I can't-uh do itttt-uh" and I'm not surprised people are watching her now. The trainer is REALLY trying his best to bring her confidence back but she literally won't stop repeating "I caaaaaaaann'tt-uh do anymorrreeee" like a broken record.

Because she's working out infront of the mirrors, she can see MOST of the gym are looking at her and she gets beet-red (maybe out of embarrassment? shame?) and pulls a phone from under her one of her stomach rolls. It looks wet. She's now babbling "I'm calleeeen my mom, I'm calleeen my mom, she's gonna come pick me up" while this trainer can only look SO disappointed as he stands there with his hands on his hips.

I then went back to minding my business because if I kept watching, I would've burst out laughing
i cantttuh.png
 
deputydogshit2.0 said:
Do you suppose that hanging appendage is red from a circulatory problem or from being dragged on the ground? It looks painful and I can’t decide if this persons should be an object of pity or derision.
Put down the fucking fork, fatties.
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Usually lymph nonsense but can be cellulitis too
 
I was at a Chinese buffet last weekend. Oh my God those two fat Mexican chicks. And seriously, I've never seen too fat slobs in my life. I mean, these women had their own fucking orbit. The kids were even fat as like man. That's what your tax dollars are going to when illegals get health care.
 
Sargon's wife's son said:
I was at a Chinese buffet last weekend. Oh my God those two fat Mexican chicks. And seriously, I've never seen too fat slobs in my life. I mean, these women had their own fucking orbit. The kids were even fat as like man. That's what your tax dollars are going to when illegals get health care.
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How did you manage to correctly use "two" the first time but not the second time?
 
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