Culinary Atrocities - Crimes against food

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Francis E. Dec Esc. said:
Yes, that's sprinkles and margarine. It's supposedly popular in Holland and Belgium.
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Not supposedly and not so much Belgium unless you ignore Walloons. It is every breakfast. Whole unsalted butter is usually preferred. That is hagelslag, vlokken the other one. They all come in milk chocolate, dark chocolate, extra dark chocolate, sometimes white chocolate. Have a look. Also patat met. Also not loved by everyone.

For further reading, google up kroket, gestampte muisjes, bereklauw satésaus, patatje joppie, broodje warm vlees, frikandel speciaal, hutspot, mettworst, haring happen for more things considered icky and yuck that are really very good eating.

Another thing they are infamous for is "drop". Every foreigner I have fed the stuff so far has coughed up every single variety or has vomited. Current Dutch domestic consumption is 32000 tons per year equalling 2 kilo's per person per year.
 
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This is kurt. I got it in Uzbekistan. They basically leave a pan of goat milk out in the sun in the desert until it's hard, then they scrape it up and roll it into hard balls or cubes.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily an atrocity. Like it smells nasty, like what I'd imagine a yeast infection would smell. But it tastes not bad, like a really salty, aged cheese.

I always insist that when friends or kiwis visit, they try some.

@Alec Benson Leary can attest.
 
Marvin said:
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This is kurt. I got it in Uzbekistan. They basically leave a pan of goat tard cum out in the sun in the desert until it's hard, then they scrape it up and roll it into hard balls or cubes.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily an atrocity. Like it smells nasty, like what I'd imagine a yeast infection would smell. But it tastes not bad, like a really salty, aged cheese.

I always insist that when friends or kiwis visit, they try some.

@Alec Benson Leary can attest.
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That is some of the bitterest and most pungent shit I've ever eaten. I was willing to keep nibbling at it until you said "this is what I imagine a yeast infection tastes like".

No one can deny you have a facility for words, I'll give you that.
 
Whatever the fuck my roommate just tried to feed me. It's instant ramen spiced with way too much red pepper, nearly raw bean sprouts, shredded cabbage and fried tofu.
I'd rather eat a fucking bullet than his cooking.
 
ExceptionallyExceptional said:
Whatever the fuck my roommate just tried to feed me. It's instant ramen spiced with way too much red pepper, nearly raw bean sprouts, shredded cabbage and fried tofu.
I'd rather eat a fucking bullet than his cooking.
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To be fair, NO ONE should be eating ramen, unless you put a fuckton more stuff in it than what it is by itself. Like so...
If you must make ramen, follow her example and be creative.
 
I present you makkarasiili (sausage-hedgehog):

makkarasiili.png


In taste it isn't such an abomination, because it really is just two types of sausage mixed together. But come on.
This was a bit of a meme in Finland for some time.
 
I tried the Subway cheesy bread out of curiosity today. I did not know that they were going to put about a full stick of garlic butter on it when I ordered it. I was only able to stomach a couple of bites. It probably was a nastier footlong than anything Jared has tasted recently.
 
Midlife Sperglord said:
I tried the Subway cheesy bread out of curiosity today. I did not know that they were going to put about a full stick of garlic butter on it when I ordered it. I was only able to stomach a couple of bites. It probably was a nastier footlong than anything Jared has tasted recently.
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I bet it's not even butter, but some nasty corn soy oil shit.
 
Midlife Sperglord said:
I tried the Subway cheesy bread out of curiosity today. I did not know that they were going to put about a full stick of garlic butter on it when I ordered it. I was only able to stomach a couple of bites. It probably was a nastier footlong than anything Jared has tasted recently.
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I had to tell them no because I saw him scooping the garlic butter out onto the bread before they put on any meat on the bread. I'm not that big a fan of butter flavor foods.
 
I found a blogger that cooks awful oldtimey food and makes her husband eat it (it suffers from the same problem food bloggers have where they feel it's necessary to add an entire novel to every recipe, but just scroll past).
http://www.midcenturymenu.com/
check out the jello category

if it's been posted before I leave you with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqMl5pnpQDg
 
I hated my husband's step mothers cooking.

Now, she has admitted that she hates to cook, but she has a few dishes that she's come up with that she is proud of. That is to say, she thinks they are the best thing in the world.

Take one chicken, boil it till cooked. Take the chicken out to sherd meat, take broth to make minute rice (always minute rice), add chicken, one can of cream of chicken soup, one can of peas to rice. Mix until it looks like vomit and eat.

This is the same person that complained about beef and shrimp shish kabobs that we made, because they had too many vegetables.
 
Hackallier said:
I present you makkarasiili (sausage-hedgehog):

View attachment 612465

In taste it isn't such an abomination, because it really is just two types of sausage mixed together. But come on.
This was a bit of a meme in Finland for some time.
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Mett-Igel.jpg


Raw minced pig meat with onions. Its totaly normal food for breakfast, but those hedgehogs are mostly made for cold buffets, and they stay out waaay to long.
 
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