"yo why are all your drawers full, what even is this?"
"oh, thats ,,, umm. i think its ... a bottle opener? a special automatic light switch device maybe, i don't remember, forgot i had that"
What woman can't navigate her purse by touch? I know where my knife and phone are. That light would just take up space I could be using for something else.
Surprised there isn't more here about GTA VI and its respective subreddit. It's riddled with people saying they're going to buy consoles just to play the game and then buy it again on PC release, people booking time off work, people saying they'd be unhappy with a $90 price point but still slavishly pay it anyway, people literally begging for Rockstar to release any marketing material whatsoever every day. The main content of the subreddit is people just endlessly speculating about marketing and trailer release dates, some of it clearly is joking but some of it reaches tea leaf reading levels of retardation.
Youtube is no better, somehow entire YouTube channels exist that get 10s of thousands of views talking about literally nothing of note, because there is nothing to talk about that hasn't been said.
I've never seen such a high concentration of people who have so strongly attached themselves to a consumer product and are so openly willing to be nickel and dimed by a company. You'd think it was the next coming of Jesus, not some gamer shit. I hope GTA 6 is an unplayable mess on release the meltdown would be funny.
"Summerween"
I already hate the "I'm so quirky I celebrate Halloween for the entire month of October" crowd. Now retailers have found a way to get a few more months out of it each year. Liking Halloween doesn't make you special. It's one of the biggest holidays of the year. Liking horror movies doesn't make you special.
I already hate the "I'm so quirky I celebrate Halloween for the entire month of October" crowd. Now retailers have found a way to get a few more months out of it each year. Liking Halloween doesn't make you special. It's one of the biggest holidays of the year. Liking horror movies doesn't make you special.
Well they already killed Thanksgiving outright to replace it with Christmas and then strangled Christmas as well. Easter is too small (which is both a good thing and also a damning indictment of American Christianity but that's a whole other rant that I won't get into right now) and Valentines is too brief of a window.
Why not take advantage of horror movie retards and "le epic so quirky" types? They're the only market left for holidays.
This is me being either overly hopeful or overly spoilsport, but I would prefer no market for holidays. We have enough plastic holiday tat to last us until Kingdom Come and then some.
Easter is too small (which is both a good thing and also a damning indictment of American Christianity but that's a whole other rant that I won't get into right now)
Part of Easter's problem is that there is no set date every year, like Christmas and Halloween. Thanksgiving doesn't have a set date, but it's pretty easy to tell when it is because it's always the 4th Thursday in November. Easter, on the other hand, has a window of over a month that it can fall on each year and that date is a lot more complicated to figure out.
Part of Easter's problem is that there is no set date every year, like Christmas and Halloween. Thanksgiving doesn't have a set date, but it's pretty easy to tell when it is because it's always the 4th Thursday in November. Easter, on the other hand, has a window of over a month that it can fall on each year and that date is a lot more complicated to figure out.
I wasn't talking about retail, either. The fact that most people can't figure out what day Easter will be on their own works against it. There's also a lot of smaller holidays leading up to it, like Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday. On top of that, there's 6 weeks of Lent.
eta:
Rewatching some KamSandwich videos. Not sure if it fits the thread, but the world of popular IP-based boardgames is something else:
I wasn't talking about retail, either. The fact that most people can't figure out what day Easter will be on their own works against it. There's also a lot of smaller holidays leading up to it, like Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday. On top of that, there's 6 weeks of Lent.
eta:
Rewatching some KamSandwich videos. Not sure if it fits the thread, but the world of popular IP-based boardgames is something else: https://youtube.com/watch?v=huWpLctD2Hs
But you can just Google it? I think 10 years worth are already worked out, who needs to plan beyond that? Or do you mean the fact it's different each year makes people a bit more indifferent to it?
eta: Liquid Death, the "death to plastic" brand, has teamed up with MGA's Miniverse to make a plastic toy that comes in a single-use plastic ball that itself is wrapped in 2 layers of plastic.
0:10
As far as blind boxes/balls go, I like Miniverse. It's possible to tell what's inside via weight, pinholes, or pencil marks, so you can just buy the ones you want. The "ingredients " can be used for other crafts, so you don't need to throw out dupes or leftovers.
I also like Liquid Death. Growing up with damned good tap water has made me picky when it comes to prepackaged water.
That said, this just isn't a good look for Liquid Death.
Well they already killed Thanksgiving outright to replace it with Christmas and then strangled Christmas as well. Easter is too small (which is both a good thing and also a damning indictment of American Christianity but that's a whole other rant that I won't get into right now) and Valentines is too brief of a window.
Why not take advantage of horror movie retards and "le epic so quirky" types? They're the only market left for holidays.
I really don't get women who change purses every season. I've mentioned before that I found a purse that I love ages ago and have been using it for almost a decade. I always have a spare or two on hand for when my current one inevitably dies.
Maybe I'm just not fashion-conscious enough to care. The only seasonal part of my wardrobe is outerwear like coats. I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet itt, but the current blind box craze is these squishy dumplings from Five Below:
I stopped by to get some coffees this morning and the manager brought out a new shipment of dumplings. There were several crates, so probably a couple hundred at least. As I was checking out, she told her coworker that they'd just sold out in 4 minutes. She hadn't even opened any of the boxes yet and they'd all been sold.
The retards where I work ordered a bunch of these stupid ass viral meme squishy toys (including those dumplings) and they arrived this week.
ALL of them are knock offs that straight up used AI art in their product listings that I epicly backtraced (googled) once I saw the shit coming in through receiving.
I fucking hate stupid people and TikTok niggers so much. You have no idea.
I really don't get women who change purses every season. I've mentioned before that I found a purse that I love ages ago and have been using it for almost a decade. I always have a spare or two on hand for when my current one inevitably dies.
Maybe I'm just not fashion-conscious enough to care. The only seasonal part of my wardrobe is outerwear like coats. I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet itt, but the current blind box craze is these squishy dumplings from Five Below: View attachment 9035778
I stopped by to get some coffees this morning and the manager brought out a new shipment of dumplings. There were several crates, so probably a couple hundred at least. As I was checking out, she told her coworker that they'd just sold out in 4 minutes. She hadn't even opened any of the boxes yet and they'd all been sold.
The retards where I work ordered a bunch of these stupid ass viral meme squishy toys (including those dumplings) and they arrived this week.
ALL of them are knock offs that straight up used AI art in their product listings that I epicly backtraced (googled) once I saw the shit coming in through receiving.
I fucking hate stupid people and TikTok niggers so much. You have no idea.
I really don't get women who change purses every season. I've mentioned before that I found a purse that I love ages ago and have been using it for almost a decade. I always have a spare or two on hand for when my current one inevitably dies.
Maybe I'm just not fashion-conscious enough to care. The only seasonal part of my wardrobe is outerwear like coats. I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet itt, but the current blind box craze is these squishy dumplings from Five Below: View attachment 9035778
I stopped by to get some coffees this morning and the manager brought out a new shipment of dumplings. There were several crates, so probably a couple hundred at least. As I was checking out, she told her coworker that they'd just sold out in 4 minutes. She hadn't even opened any of the boxes yet and they'd all been sold.
The retards where I work ordered a bunch of these stupid ass viral meme squishy toys (including those dumplings) and they arrived this week.
ALL of them are knock offs that straight up used AI art in their product listings that I epicly backtraced (googled) once I saw the shit coming in through receiving.
I fucking hate stupid people and TikTok niggers so much. You have no idea.
Three things immediately come to mind.
First, the over the top reactions are brainrot corrupting the minds of the young and mentally infirm.
Second, the dumplings are what, $10USD? That means the amount people feel comfortable dropping on some bullshit like this is roughly that much. Funkos ran about $30 at their peak iirc.
Finally, these look like they're shitty squishies. So they don't even work as stress toys. Their only function is the initial gambling pull. Also they're probably made of poison.
Sometimes I like being old and gay so I don't have to even try and comprehend whatever the fuck this shit is. I remember seeing those sorts of thick squishy plastic full of brine squishy toy things as a kid and you'd always be fucking disappointed to get one. Like what the fuck do you do with it? Squeeze it for a few minutes and then get bored because that is literally the only thing you can do with it. We have reached the pinnacle with these sorts of toys when we invented the donut or hollow tube ones with the plastic fish inside that everyone joked about fucking because at least those had some sort of satisfying feeling and could at least be squished more than one way. Being conned into buying the cheapest most disappointing type of toy for a fucking hours wage is truly an accomplishment. Sending gift cards to the totally real foreign model who wants to fuck you would be less embarrassing than this. Fucking nfts but for white women I swear.
This might be kinda schizophrenic, but when I see the Squishimal style of stuffed animal that has become popular, I just have horrible thoughts about simulacra.
I get that styles change, but it's not like this happens in a vacuum. I swear this isn't all "old man yells at cloud."
If I got a lion plushie from Aurora 20 years ago, it had lion features. A tail with a tufted end. A mane. Arms, brown/red fur, a muzzle, eyes with pupils. It was a lion like the real animal lions, although it's obviously made of fabric and stuffing. When you play with a lion like that, it can be a lion, it can growl and bite with its mouth, it can swish its tail, it can be posed to pounce or attack. If you see male and female lions you understand there's a difference between males and females. You can probably start to understand that some animals are predators and aggressive, like lions and tigers and other animals all have big teeth and powerful bodies and don't look like bunnies or squirrels. There is a culture, a system of meanings. The lion plushie looks like the lions in a picture book about the Savanna or on a Nat Geo show or maybe at the zoo.
This is from Douglas, I think, and it's still a modern-day plushie- but this style has definitely fallen out of favor and I don't see them as often.
Ok, now let's look at a Squishmallow lion.
Without the mane and tail, can you even tell it's a lion and not a bear, or a dog, or anything else?
Can you really see a toddler playing with this and making it hunt and fight? I can't really. Can you really see a kid drawing a correlation between Daniel in the Lion's den and this thing? Or understanding that lions are the animal in The Lion King because lions are generally seen as regal and powerful apex predators?
It would make more sense if Squishmallows were for literal infants, and the only priority was high contrast so their literally underdeveloped eyes could track the high contrast, and their smooth bodies have no choking hazard. But that's obviously not the case: Squishmallows are generally collectibles, and literal babies in the cradle don't have any reason to chase rare squishmallows. They've got that Funko pop style to them. They're hyper-processed symbols of a real thing. All of the culture, meaning, significance, it's all stripped away- the only thing that matters is maybe the color, or the perceived rarity, or an "aesthetic." For example, this is a pride-themed lion, and their other lion was a Harry Potter Gryffindor lion.
It's very hard to look at a product like this and not see it as baby's first gambling product. I am not inherently against gatchapon and don't think it'll ever be made illegal, really. But running series with chasers for ages 3+ is really wild work.
I think it's meaningful because I think kids should learn that toys are about expression. Is it really revolutionary to say you should be able to play with toys? And I mean play beyond stimulation. I still remember when you had to say you were literally autistic and the fidget spinner was the only thing keeping you from flapping your hands or hitting yourself, to justify using it in a public setting. That was how "stim toys" were initially presented. But first fidget spinners became a craze, and then pop-its and slime, and now I don't know any kids that don't seem to think it's their God-given right to constantly have stimulation. They need squishy toys because if they don't have their phone for 5 seconds they need some substitute, like a smoker who has to chew gum all day at work.
If the only action they want you to have is just to buy the product and get a momentary dopamine rush out of opening it, and all you can do with it is "be stimulated" in a vague, infant-level way of "it's got bright colors and is textured", I mean what are we doing here? They usually call them "sensory" toys instead of "stim" toys now, but come on! Be real! Does the modern age of children need any more sensory input when they are being brain-blasted with screens all day? A ball of hyper-stimulating goo in their hands at all times is a great way to make your kid totally lobotomized and unable to process their surroundings. I'm not talking about five minutes for a toddler who needs to be patient while waiting with you at the DMV. I'm talking about just being in a classroom, or being home after school, or hanging out with friends, and I'm talking about older ages, even zoomers.
Compare "Little Johnny loves lions so he plays with lion figures, draws lions in a book, dressed up as a lion for halloween, watches The Lion King, we take him to the zoo to see the lions" to "Little Johnny likes Squishmallows so he buys squishmallows, we buy him blind bags, he wants blind bags for his birthday, he gets upset if he doesn't get the one he wants, and they sit in a pile in his room, and he gets jealous of other people that have squishmallows he wants, and he insists on bringing them into public to constantly distract himself with."
Obviously in a vacuum it's fine to have a squishmallow. I'm not inherently against collections and I know basically everybody can find one they go "oh that's really cute and I like it." And a cartoon style is natural. I'm not saying all kids toys have to be realistic, at all. I just think the whole brand is kinda predatory and it's like Funko pops for kids, and I do think it's a bad shift in the culture of toys for kids. The whole culture of toys for kids has definitely gotten more predatory and cash-grabbing, and I think it's because the industry is trying to get a new angle since obviously every kid has an iPad or phone and the toy industry is crippled by that change. So these are like... physical representations of shitty Cocomelon videos. That's how engaging they're trying to be. And digestible and hyper-attention-retaining.
In my mind, Squishmallows are the type of toys they have on the Wall-E ship for the kids, because it's no longer important for them to have any idea what real animals or real anything is. So they just get utter simulacra. The only point of the object is to "stimulate" you in a broad sense. It doesn't matter that it's a lion at all, besides that it's another object to collect. Nothing matters. Spend your money.
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