🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Smutley]

Oh, Connor... no...

I probably wouldn't be friends with someone who archived every embarrassing post I made across multiple websites and who made fun of me, but I guess Connor is a more forgiving man than I...

I never had a little brother but that's what the television tells me brothers do, man. They make fun of you for being an embarassing sperg and make fun of you for crying during The Wolfman but then when the bully comes along and pushes them over you straight fuck that bully up because he's still your brother. I love you Connor you're basically my little brother and also my friend and he feels that way too I know it!!!!!

Man, all this time trying to woo @IJustWantToSeeAttachments , & she immediately drops trou for @Connor Bible , of all people.

I didn't know she was Rani Bakr!

Connor, would you go on a date with Musician and Game Developer Rani Bakr?

 

[Count groudon]

Connor should shoot himself in the dick.

Its so small he'd probably miss.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I didn't know she was Rani Bakr!

What? No! I never! THAT IS BULLCRAP ONLINE
Just because I was nice to her & she wound up not being too cow-ish doesn't mean I want to suck her dick jesus

But how are you holding up, there, buddy? I know @Connor Bible 's chimpouts hit you the hardest of all.

(reusing old drawings until this fucking migraine goes away & I can draw new ones)

 

[Ruin]

Damn it. I go to a concert for one day and miss all the good autism. Did Connor fuck off to go comfort himself with cheese and 80's movies?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I thought that Connor had moved on from this thread and mellowed out, and that the thread was going to sink into obscurity...

 

[Dalish]

i'm really hoping there's a bigger story behind his 'women r sluts' chimpout. other users asked whether or not he had been catfished and because of his usual contrite refusal to answer most questions that could actively embarrass him, it seems like it might be the case.

@Connor Bible, i'll be near you for a month in port royal. let's go to the swinginest fountain and get some sodas to share as you discuss your newest story and i vacantly stare off into the distance and wonder why i thought this would be a good idea

 

[Ruin]

I thought that Connor had moved on from this thread and mellowed out, and that the thread was going to sink into obscurity...

I didn't. He's powered by autism and blocks of cheese.

 

[YI 457]

Spoiler: I wake up and what's this

Shit, now you're really depressing me.

So I'm just destined to be a loser, aren't I?

Just say it. Do you want me to kill myself?

In all honestly, I wake up every single morning trying to come up with some pathetic reason not to blow my brains out.

Like that would do any good. You'd shit on me anyways. Fuckers.

Everyone's fucking trash to me. This whole planet is one giant mound of shit floating in outer space.

At least it gives me some fucking mission to accomplish. But I'm not cut out for it. Why should I even attempt to make an effort? Why should I grin and bear it? Why should I suck up to people who fuck me over IRL?

There is no good in my life.

And another thing... I'm not even thinking about having a relationship with some slut. All the fish in the sea are fucking poisonous.

If some bitch plays nice to me, I'd expose her for the fraud she is.

All women are sluts.

Go ahead and do it, motherfucker.

Do I look like a fucking faggot?

Any bitch so much as offers to go on a date with me, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.

Good job, Connor. I think I'm going back to bed. Please, try not to kill yourself. Or kill us by choking while we laugh.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

*reads all of the new messages*

Oh for the love of FUCKING ARCEUS CONNOR, you are seriously slower than a FUCKING SLOWPOKE.

At least it gives me some fucking mission to accomplish. But I'm not cut out for it. Why should I even attempt to make an effort? Why should I grin and bear it? Why should I suck up to people who fuck me over IRL?

Because life sucks. Now go and do something about it or seriously fuck off. You've used up all your pity points.

Go ahead and do it, motherfucker.

Taunting mods. Are you... seriously this dumb...?

Any bitch so much as offers to go on a date with me, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.

Connor should shoot himself in the dick.

He would miss point blank, then blame us for it somehow.

Also, Connor, I love that whole women are sluts comment and that everyone here apparently hates you. Hey, uh, you remember @Silver? You know, the one Kiwi that was actually kinda friendly to you and asked you out for a day together? And is also a girl? Nice double whammy of fucking over someone that actually tries to reach out to you. Do you ever think that the reason why you don't have a lot of friendly contact is becausw you just MIGHT be a colossal dick?

(You also sorta threw @Smutley under the bus after he called you his friend too. And most of us are legitimately giving you advice in a civil manner. Seriously, dude, fuck off.)

In short, @Connor Bible, you should really consider getting together with @ThonisSH. You both think women are sluts, you both say you're gonna do shit with your life and then proceed not to, and you both quit the Farms only to crawl back eventually.

And being compared to a Loveshy is fucking depressing.

 

[Ruin]

I kinda want to make an rpgmaker game where a party of hero's go on a quest to defeat Lord Edge of Supreme Darkness but all he does is shit himself and eat cheese.

#ConnorQuest.

 

[Holdek]

All the fish in the sea are fucking poisonous.

That's true, but they're like blowfish: you just have to know how to eat them .

 

[autism420]

@Cowlick could you mail your gun to @Connor Bible please?

 

[MasterDisaster]

Also, Connor, I love that whole women are sluts comment and that everyone here apparently hates you. Hey, uh, you remember @Silver? You know, the one Kiwi that was actually kinda friendly to you and asked you out for a day together? And is also a girl? Nice double whammy of fucking over someone that actually tries to reach out to you. Do you ever think that the reason why you don't have a lot of friendly contact is becausw you just MIGHT be a colossal dick?

(You also sorta threw @Smutley under the bus after he called you his friend too. And most of us are legitimately giving you advice in a civil manner. Seriously, dude, fuck off.)

In short, @Connor Bible, you should really consider getting together with @ThonisSH. You both think women are sluts, you both say you're gonna do shit with your life and then proceed not to, and you both quit the Farms only to crawl back eventually.

It's obvious when you think about it; why does Connor keep coming back for another round? It's because were the only people who react to him. We're his confidants, his friends, the sole entity in this whole world that he can treat like shit and not take an immediate bitchslap back from. Sure, our mean old words sting but he can come and shit on us, take the advice and then go about his day. Just admit it, Connor, we don't need you. You need us.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

(reads thread)

Oh for FUCK'S sake.

Connor. Stop parroting this Cormac McCarthy/Linkin Park/Loveshy bullshit. It's not edgy, It's not impressing anyone, and speaking frankly here- they do it much better than you do.

This current veneer of homophobia & sexism you're applying to your persona just lowers the astronomically low opinion everyone has of you as a person.

Get off the 'net for a bit, go have a couple of beers, a wank, a shower and a nap.

Then give it another go, we'll be here.

 

[Ruin]

As fat as Connor is I'm not sure it's a great idea to tell him to drink beer. Plus he's a pussy so wine coolers are probably more his speed. Or maybe a nice Bud & sugar.

 

[Whatisgoingon]

I know others have said it before, but please stop talking about your penis and your (lack of) sex life Connor. No one wants to hear about that!

 

[CatParty]

@Connor Bible you should exercise with a kettlebell




that's good advice but you probably won't take it @Connor Bible

 

[Holdek]

@Connor Bible you should exercise with a kettlebell

@TrippinKahlua do you concur

 

[Johnny Bravo]

@Connor Bible So how's your novel going?

 

[Cubanodun]

the red banner of rules in lolcows should be updated like the one in the tumblr forum, this part exactly