🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
Hey Connor, let's do some maths.

There are 168 hours in a week. If I assume you sleep ten hours a day (which can't be that far off) that leaves 98 hours.

You said your basic maths class is 1 hour and 15 minutes long. I don't know how many times you have it per week, so I'm going to assume you have it every weekday. That shaves off 6 hours and 15 minutes, leaving 91 hours and 45 minutes.

What the fuck do you do for 91 hours each week?

This is what I was thinking but wasn't gonna say (well now I did, but)
 
Let's be charitable and assume that every time he has to go to class he spends an hour and a half getting ready, waiting for his lift, driving there, then hanging around waiting for class to start because he arrives early, and then the same on his way back. Let's further assume, extremely charitably, that the class has a massive homework load and that he's doing two hours of homework for every hour he spends in class. So each time he does the class he's got 75 minutes in class, 150 minutes homework, and 180 minutes transit time. That still leaves 80 hours a week. That's a lot of movies!
 
Hey Connor, let's do some maths.

There are 168 hours in a week. If I assume you sleep ten hours a day (which can't be that far off) that leaves 98 hours.

You said your basic maths class is 1 hour and 15 minutes long. I don't know how many times you have it per week, so I'm going to assume you have it every weekday. That shaves off 6 hours and 15 minutes, leaving 91 hours and 45 minutes. I was being generous, it's only two and a half hours.

What the fuck do you do for 97.5 hours each week?
I think you also need to take into account that the rule of thumb for out of class work is 3-4 hours per hour in class.... so 7 hours outside of class. 90.5 hours? That's assuming Connor does a lot of work outside of a;skfhbg;ajh;ihqeorha;ngkalkbna;lkjdsgl;kahe;oritaoishd;fkajs;d
Sorry I couldn't stop laughing and my hands kinda spazzed out.
 
Thanks! I am oddly flattered and less mortified than I thought I would be when this inevitably happened. I admit I went for cheap laffs above all, and any redeeming value is purely unintentional, but if you got something out of it, I won't complain. Then again, if you're just being a good sport... well, congrats on being a good sport.

Coming soon... ConnorQuest 2: Electric Kriegerloo. Wait, no. The Legend of Molay's Gold.

Wait, no. The Wrath of Khan-or.
connor.wad was also pretty much designed for cheap lulz, and any redeeming quality is just a bonus.
 
I think this is first time I even bothered to click the ConnorQuest link.

STOP!!!
You took another persons work and called it "sickening" despite many people (including you) liking it, and you called it that before you even looked at it? You insulted someone's work before seeing if you would like it?
That, is some grade A cyberbullying.
 
@Pikonic I think you're misunderstanding. He was complaining about the Doom video but someone (can't remember who) said he was complaining about ConnorQuest and Connor here was clarifying he hadn't seen ConnorQuest before today so he couldn't have written the earlier post about ConnorQuest.
 
@Pikonic I think you're misunderstanding. He was complaining about the Doom video but someone (can't remember who) said he was complaining about ConnorQuest and Connor here was clarifying he hadn't seen ConnorQuest before today so he couldn't have written the earlier post about ConnorQuest.
Oh shit...my bad.
 
Anyway, I have The Big Question for Connor: What do you feel and think when you write? Not when you think about writing, or when you post on here or Wrong Planet or wherever about writing - what do you feel and think when you open the Word document to Redesigning Eva, Alphaboy or whatever else, scroll to the bottom, and begin adding material that flows from the place you left off? I'm not really looking to know your thoughts about writing ("I like writing" or whatever), but your actual thoughts and feelings when you are in the process of adding material to your story. There is no right or wrong answer here, and since it's a Kiwi asking for this information I can assure you that we're not going to make fun of you for whatever your answer may be (right, Kiwis? *cracks knuckles*). I just think it will help us understand you a little more if we know your actual thought processes and responses to the physical act of creating fiction.
 
Hey Connor, let's do some maths.

There are 168 hours in a week. If I assume you sleep ten hours a day (which can't be that far off) that leaves 98 hours.

You said your basic maths class is 1 hour and 15 minutes long. I don't know how many times you have it per week, so I'm going to assume you have it every weekday. That shaves off 6 hours and 15 minutes, leaving 91 hours and 45 minutes. I was being generous, it's only two and a half hours.

What the fuck do you do for 95.5 hours each week?
He masturbates. He did say ConnorQuest is true, after all.
Oh shit...my bad.
Eh, he probably feels the same way about ConnorQuest. He just knows we're going to mock him and/or post a screencap if he chimps out.
 
Back.

Anyway, I have The Big Question for Connor: What do you feel and think when you write? Not when you think about writing, or when you post on here or Wrong Planet or wherever about writing - what do you feel and think when you open the Word document to Redesigning Eva, Alphaboy or whatever else, scroll to the bottom, and begin adding material that flows from the place you left off? I'm not really looking to know your thoughts about writing ("I like writing" or whatever), but your actual thoughts and feelings when you are in the process of adding material to your story. There is no right or wrong answer here, and since it's a Kiwi asking for this information I can assure you that we're not going to make fun of you for whatever your answer may be (right, Kiwis? *cracks knuckles*). I just think it will help us understand you a little more if we know your actual thought processes and responses to the physical act of creating fiction.
Well, depends on what I'm working on at any particular moment. Redesigning Eva, I think, was borne out of my struggle with depression, and as a result it can get dark to the point of being overkill, almost wangsty. The problem with the first draft is that I got masturbatory (wink!) instead of focusing on a coherent, attention-grabbing plot. But enough about that nightmare of a project.

When I'm writing, I try to get myself into a trance. I attempt to put myself into the shoes of the point-of-view characters. I ask myself a lot of questions. Where am I? What's my motivation? What's going to happen to me? I also like to put a lot of emphasis on the dimensions of my characters. I try to make everyone in a story, no matter how small, seem rounded. I'll use Sean "Alphaboy" Gillespie and his adoptive parents, Joe and Mary, as examples. I've been doing some work on their backstories and personalities. Let's strip it down to the basics. Sean is a nice kid who loves Joe and Mary, and they love him back. That's fine, but they need to be spiced up. Sean's polite and affable, sure, but he feels like an outsider because of his powers. The Gillespies all love each other, but they have their disagreements. Early in the story, on Sean's first day as a high school freshman, Joe insists that he drive him to school rather than letting him fly there. The boy has already amassed a reputation as the town's "freak", much to the concern of the Gillespies. Also, Joe and Mary may be great parents, but their not without their oddities. Joe is a shell-shocked, cynical ex-Special Forces operative who fixes up people's houses for a living; war has hardened him and wrecked his optimism, and sometimes comes off as a grumpy middle-aged man. Mary, an ER nurse with a cleft palate, is an absolute teddy bear to Sean, perhaps a little too much: both Sean and Joe agree she needs to pop her teats out of his mouth and let the former become a young man.

Phew, that's a mouthful. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I want my stories, no matter how weird and fantastic, to have a stamp of honesty.
 
Back.


Well, depends on what I'm working on at any particular moment. Redesigning Eva, I think, was borne out of my struggle with depression, and as a result it can get dark to the point of being overkill, almost wangsty. The problem with the first draft is that I got masturbatory (wink!) instead of focusing on a coherent, attention-grabbing plot. But enough about that nightmare of a project.

When I'm writing, I try to get myself into a trance. I attempt to put myself into the shoes of the point-of-view characters. I ask myself a lot of questions. Where am I? What's my motivation? What's going to happen to me? I also like to put a lot of emphasis on the dimensions of my characters. I try to make everyone in a story, no matter how small, seem rounded. I'll use Sean "Alphaboy" Gillespie and his adoptive parents, Joe and Mary, as examples. I've been doing some work on their backstories and personalities. Let's strip it down to the basics. Sean is a nice kid who loves Joe and Mary, and they love him back. That's fine, but they need to be spiced up. Sean's polite and affable, sure, but he feels like an outsider because of his powers. The Gillespies all love each other, but they have their disagreements. Early in the story, on Sean's first day as a high school freshman, Joe insists that he drive him to school rather than letting him fly there. The boy has already amassed a reputation as the town's "freak", much to the concern of the Gillespies. Also, Joe and Mary may be great parents, but their not without their oddities. Joe is a shell-shocked, cynical ex-Special Forces operative who fixes up people's houses for a living; war has hardened him and wrecked his optimism, and sometimes comes off as a grumpy middle-aged man. Mary, an ER nurse with a cleft palate, is an absolute teddy bear to Sean, perhaps a little too much: both Sean and Joe agree she needs to pop her teats out of his mouth and let the former become a young man.

Phew, that's a mouthful. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I want my stories, no matter how weird and fantastic, to have a stamp of honesty.

You doing Camp NaNoWriMo?
 
Hi Connor, another question. What is it about this forum that kept drawing you back, before this thread? I understand now you have a need to defend yourself, but before there wasn't anything keeping you here. You don't really seem vested in the discussion of the forums main topics.
 
Hey @Connor! Here's tonight's questions for you to answer.

@Connor what in all seriousness do you do when you aren't here/WP/in maths?

Connor, how do you feel about writing collaboration efforts?Outside of your experience in the round robin with @Meowthkip, have you done much? It's a really freeing experience, knowing that you're not the only person responsible for steering a narrative.

@Connor what do you think of Connor Plays Pokemon: Kiwi Edition? I tried to make it a bit biographical with you stalking that girl that one time.
If you could give it a rating 1-Molly Ringwald what would you give it? Would you play a game like this?

Glad to see you back, Connor. How's Alphaboy?

Aren't you the one who always says "don't think, just write"? Where's that drive?

why don't you just write for the sake of writing? like, just write shit you'll never show anybody.


have you actually done any exercising recently?

edit: Connor you cannot just agree with my post you need to respond to it holy fuck

Connor, since you didn't answer my question about inspiration, I'll ask a more direct one:

When was the last time you read a book?

Where's your resume, @Connor?

Oh snap you came back! What up dogg? Did you ever figure out your top five?

Hey Connor, let's do some maths.

There are 168 hours in a week. If I assume you sleep ten hours a day (which can't be that far off) that leaves 98 hours.

You said your basic maths class is 1 hour and 15 minutes long. I don't know how many times you have it per week, so I'm going to assume you have it every weekday. That shaves off 6 hours and 15 minutes, leaving 91 hours and 45 minutes. I was being generous, it's only two and a half hours.

What the fuck do you do for 95.5 hours each week?
 
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