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- Dec 29, 2014
Are we ever going to continue Connor Plays Pokemon in a round robin writing thread?
🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker
- Thread starter Null
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- Jan 27, 2014
I think so. I know I'm gonna keep drawing once I stop being so deathly ill.
yes there will be a drawing of that too
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2015
I'd be in for the Connor/Potter crossover. "Connor Bible and the Order of the Kiwi," anyone?
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
SOMEONE DRAW &/OR WRITE SOMETHING AMUSING ABOUT CONNOR WHILE I RECOVER FROM VOMITING UP MY KIDNEYS
I'M SICK & DEMAND POKEMON SHENANIGANS
I'M SICK & DEMAND POKEMON SHENANIGANS
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2015
Here we go: Connor/Silence of the Lambs/50 Shades crossover.
"Welcome to my room of pain," Christian purred. Anastasia shivered as he bound her to the St. Andrew's cross. But as Christian fidgeted with his square knots, she couldn't help but wonder what that gardening equipment was doing there.
And that's when he handed her a tablet, with the browser opened to a badly designed web forum. "It reads Redesigning Eva," Christian cried. "Or else it gets the hose again."
Finis.
Feel better, mon amie.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2013
lol ok
"Goddamn that stupid fisherman. He cheated! I should've won!" Connor whined. His Pokedex stayed silent. Connor had been bitching and waddling around aimlessly for hours. Nothing it said seemed to have any effect on Connor so it decided to be quiet...for now.
"It's not fair! Everyone hates me! It's all a conspiracy against me because of that fucker, Null! I swear I'm going to catch up to you, Null, and win! Tomorrow. It's hard work." Connor stress sighed and sat down.
"I hate being away from my bedroom. I haven't masturbated since that bitch made me leave the house. I have no privacy out here. I want to masturbate to Molly right now!"
"Dude, what the fuck?!" Connor's Pokedex finally spoke. In their Pokeballs, Bulbasaur and Charmander could hear everything and were equally horrified and disgusted with this new development.
Sigyn
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2015
"Yer a faggot, Connor."
"I'm a what?"
"A faggot! And a thumpin' whiny one, I'd wager; once you sperg out a bit."
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
Speaking of that, I wonder where I'd fit into all this...(I'm betting I'd just be a random stray/abandoned Persian that scratches Connor in one scene or something
; also name him Aqua or something because who the fuck names their cat with my username?).
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2015
Just wanted to chime in for a 'sec here.
That recent post on WrongPlanet blew me away, seriously. After over 200 pages of people giving genuine advice for both writing and life in general, conveying their personal struggles in an effort to motivate him, and calling him out on his crap (which he has tried to pull multiple times already) absolutely nothing has changed. I'm new to the lolcow thing but... I'm flabbergasted, even more so than I was with Chris.
It's mind-boggling. While other lolcows just ignore naysayers to keep living out their delusions, this Connor guy is constantly trying to manipulate people into validating his fairytale land where he's a smart "edgy" writer who should be respected and admired without having done anything. Then he gets upset when people rightfully criticize him, and disappears so he can try the exact same thing again a few days later. Even that Gloria Tesch girl put some effort into her "i'm a writer guyz" nonsense - Connor has nothing to show for it after talking about his book for years. Jesus Christ
This is coming from someone who has also suffered depression to the point of considering suicide, and it was entirely self-induced, nothing I've gone through is anywhere near as bad as some of the stories I've read here. But I finally got off my sorry butt and worked to make a difference, can't remember the last time I was so at peace with myself. In the end the only person who can make you happy is YOU - do something damn it!! You won't get credit for doing n o t h i n g Connor, no matter how hard you try to cover up your lack of action with pretty words 'n promises.
I can't understand this.
Please keep the parodies coming, we need to bring back the laughter. Thanks for what you've written so far
That recent post on WrongPlanet blew me away, seriously. After over 200 pages of people giving genuine advice for both writing and life in general, conveying their personal struggles in an effort to motivate him, and calling him out on his crap (which he has tried to pull multiple times already) absolutely nothing has changed. I'm new to the lolcow thing but... I'm flabbergasted, even more so than I was with Chris.
It's mind-boggling. While other lolcows just ignore naysayers to keep living out their delusions, this Connor guy is constantly trying to manipulate people into validating his fairytale land where he's a smart "edgy" writer who should be respected and admired without having done anything. Then he gets upset when people rightfully criticize him, and disappears so he can try the exact same thing again a few days later. Even that Gloria Tesch girl put some effort into her "i'm a writer guyz" nonsense - Connor has nothing to show for it after talking about his book for years. Jesus Christ
This is coming from someone who has also suffered depression to the point of considering suicide, and it was entirely self-induced, nothing I've gone through is anywhere near as bad as some of the stories I've read here. But I finally got off my sorry butt and worked to make a difference, can't remember the last time I was so at peace with myself. In the end the only person who can make you happy is YOU - do something damn it!! You won't get credit for doing n o t h i n g Connor, no matter how hard you try to cover up your lack of action with pretty words 'n promises.
I can't understand this.
Please keep the parodies coming, we need to bring back the laughter. Thanks for what you've written so far
J
JU 199
Guest
kiwifarms.net
I reading through @Lady Tamako post and something in mm mind clicked
Connor is South Parks's Saddam hussein
He says he'll get better and makes allot of promises.... but ultimately stays the same.
Connor is South Parks's Saddam hussein
He says he'll get better and makes allot of promises.... but ultimately stays the same.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2013
L'histoire d'O or GTFO
Tesch is streets ahead of Connor. Her book may be rubbish and may not even represent the best she is capable of, but at least she actually produced a written work. Connor is not even capable of that.
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- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
Connor as Dragonborn
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
Skyrim's biggest milk drinker.
DrChristianTroy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
I love that "Write everyday and don't spaz out every other day" counts the Kiwi farms being the bad guys.
TheIncredibleLioness
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 15, 2013
I'm kinda amazed how utterly repetitive Connor is. He seems like he likes the role of being a victim, which isn't healthy. I wish I could say the content of his messages surprised me, but given how he's gone through this cycle before... :/
On a more positive note, between everyone's inspiring stories and Connor's inability to do anything, I find this a very motivating thread when I'm trying to edit my NaNo novel. I keep telling myself I'm going to get out there and just finish it up, rather than putting it off until tomorrow.
On a more positive note, between everyone's inspiring stories and Connor's inability to do anything, I find this a very motivating thread when I'm trying to edit my NaNo novel. I keep telling myself I'm going to get out there and just finish it up, rather than putting it off until tomorrow.
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
It always brings a smile to my face when new people wander in and I can imagine them looking like the epic y u no maymay. I've been interacting, in a mostly inconsequential capacity, with Connor for like a year now and as both a figurative and literal graybeard it's kind of heartwarming to see people going through the same emotional range as I did. The creativity Kiwis have shown in this thread alone is inspiring, so even if Connor stays the same for his entire life, we will at least have Photoshops, and writings, and original arts, and the magic of friendships.
Welcome, new friend(s). Take a seat, grab a drink, and buckle in for most mild ride of your life.
J
JU 199
Guest
kiwifarms.net
I've tasted bargain oatmeal that's less mild than Connor...
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2014
I am literally the only person who thinks photoshopping Connor's face onto a dumb meme from six years ago is funny.
edit: well maybe not the only person
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- Joined
- Oct 28, 2014
After nearly tumbling down the winding staircase, Connor dusted off his knees while struggling for breath.
"There were so many draugr," he moaned. He began a shambling walk through the dim corridors as Frea struggled to catch her breath, her axe bloodied from battle.
"How much further?" he whined. Connor drew his mouth into a long frown and wiped cobwebs from his robes, squinting against his dusty glasses.
"It cannot be much further."
Connor let out a long-suffering sigh before he reached a curved handle embedded in the stone wall, pulling it outward despite Frea's weak protests. He stepped back as the chamber rumbled and groaned before revealing another room with a green glow.
The black lattice floors had something bubbling beneath, but the most remarkable feature was the stone pillar with a large, black book.
Another book, Connor thought. Perhaps it would have an interesting story for him to write about.
"Tread carefully," warned Frea. Connor scoffed and lurched forward-- what could a mere woman know about adventuring and writing?
"I have to read the summary, at least," he said. Connor touched the book with his chubby fingers; it seemed to writhe beneath his fingers, but he needed more inspiration to finish his own story. He was sure he could handle whatever trap might be sprung when he opened the cover.
What Connor was not expecting was the pull of some mystical entity, pulling him within the pages. He closed his eyes tightly as the nauseating feeling washed over him.
"Should I say something? He's been standing like that for minutes."
The scenery was far different from the dark temple. The same latticed grating was beneath him with the curious bubbling liquid, but a large spire rose against the green skies. Strange tentacled monsters hovered feet from him, bobbing up and down. A dragon, blue and free of sales, perched uneasily at the foot of the stairway.
"Who said that?" Connor demanded. "Where am I? I was looking for that bitch Miraak to give her a piece of my mind."
"I am Miraak, the first Dragonborn. This is my realm," she said. She had a gold mask with tentacles forming the mouthpiece and an elaborate set of maroon robes. Nonetheless, she was a woman and Connor was certain he could end this fight immediately.
He threw out his hand to cast Fireball but nothing happened. Well, a high pitched laughter emitted from behind Miraak's mask which echoed across the skies.
"You have no power here," she told him. Connor emitted a high-pitched shriek at her words.
"But I'm Connor Bible! I'm the Dragonborn! I get my way every time!"
"You came to my realm. You have no power here," Miraak explained again. She rolled her eyes beneath the gold mask and crossed her arms as Connor screeched again.
"What's the point of coming here if I can't defeat you right away? I'm Connor fucking Bible, this isn't fair!"
Miraak shrugged her shoulders, reaching out to the long neck of the blue dragon. "Do you think I tamed a dragon and started a cult by waiting for people to hand it to me?" she asked.
"But it's different for me. I'm Connor Bible. You're a girl! Girls are mean and stupid and whores."
Miraak swung her leg over the dragon's neck. As she began her ascent into flight, Connor swore he could hear the word "faggot!" echoing into the green sunset.
"There were so many draugr," he moaned. He began a shambling walk through the dim corridors as Frea struggled to catch her breath, her axe bloodied from battle.
"How much further?" he whined. Connor drew his mouth into a long frown and wiped cobwebs from his robes, squinting against his dusty glasses.
"It cannot be much further."
Connor let out a long-suffering sigh before he reached a curved handle embedded in the stone wall, pulling it outward despite Frea's weak protests. He stepped back as the chamber rumbled and groaned before revealing another room with a green glow.
The black lattice floors had something bubbling beneath, but the most remarkable feature was the stone pillar with a large, black book.
Another book, Connor thought. Perhaps it would have an interesting story for him to write about.
"Tread carefully," warned Frea. Connor scoffed and lurched forward-- what could a mere woman know about adventuring and writing?
"I have to read the summary, at least," he said. Connor touched the book with his chubby fingers; it seemed to writhe beneath his fingers, but he needed more inspiration to finish his own story. He was sure he could handle whatever trap might be sprung when he opened the cover.
What Connor was not expecting was the pull of some mystical entity, pulling him within the pages. He closed his eyes tightly as the nauseating feeling washed over him.
"Should I say something? He's been standing like that for minutes."
The scenery was far different from the dark temple. The same latticed grating was beneath him with the curious bubbling liquid, but a large spire rose against the green skies. Strange tentacled monsters hovered feet from him, bobbing up and down. A dragon, blue and free of sales, perched uneasily at the foot of the stairway.
"Who said that?" Connor demanded. "Where am I? I was looking for that bitch Miraak to give her a piece of my mind."
"I am Miraak, the first Dragonborn. This is my realm," she said. She had a gold mask with tentacles forming the mouthpiece and an elaborate set of maroon robes. Nonetheless, she was a woman and Connor was certain he could end this fight immediately.
He threw out his hand to cast Fireball but nothing happened. Well, a high pitched laughter emitted from behind Miraak's mask which echoed across the skies.
"You have no power here," she told him. Connor emitted a high-pitched shriek at her words.
"But I'm Connor Bible! I'm the Dragonborn! I get my way every time!"
"You came to my realm. You have no power here," Miraak explained again. She rolled her eyes beneath the gold mask and crossed her arms as Connor screeched again.
"What's the point of coming here if I can't defeat you right away? I'm Connor fucking Bible, this isn't fair!"
Miraak shrugged her shoulders, reaching out to the long neck of the blue dragon. "Do you think I tamed a dragon and started a cult by waiting for people to hand it to me?" she asked.
"But it's different for me. I'm Connor Bible. You're a girl! Girls are mean and stupid and whores."
Miraak swung her leg over the dragon's neck. As she began her ascent into flight, Connor swore he could hear the word "faggot!" echoing into the green sunset.