🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Cosmos]

(Disregarding any previous story developments because fucky you, I just got hit by inspiration)

Connor barged into the Pewter Gym, just having restored his Pokemon at the Pokemon Center. Despite not training them whatsoever, he felt as though he were ready to take on Brock, the very first Gym Leader. That asshole Null did it, why couldn't he?

"Brock? BROCK?!?! Where are you? Are you ignoring me? Did Null tell you to ignore me?" Connor was making quite a scene; the Gym Trainers all paused and stared at him while he angrily stormed towards the back of the Gym.

"No need for yelling, I'm right here." Brock, a tall teenager with spiky hair, rose from his seat at the end of the Gym. While he was caught off guard by Connor's entrance, it was hardly unusual. He was the first Gym Leader, after all, and he was used to seeing hotheaded rookie Trainers barge into his Gym, all energy and passion and no tact.

"Well, then, Brock. I challenge you to a battle!" Connor huffed as he reached Brock, the combination of his physique and his rage taking its toll on his lungs. "I'm Connor of Pallet Town. But you probably know me from my controversial, cynical, and darkly humorous posts on various forums."

"Uh, no, I'm afraid I don't." Brock was a bit puzzled, but went on ahead. "But you're from Pallet Town, huh? We get a lot of Trainers from there! In fact, I just had a challenger from there recently! Maybe you know him. His name was Noel or something else with an N and he had a Wartortle-"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT NULL!! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ME NOW!! AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE!!!" Connor shrieked.

Brock stepped back in alarm; he certainly hadn't expected the kid to explode the way he did. Maybe he and that Null guy were rivals? Such a thing wasn't uncommon; quite the opposite, really. Internally, he shrugged; he really didn't care about the kid's backstory, he just wanted to finish this battle up quickly so he could go home. This Connor guy had come at a really inconvenient time, right before closing. Most Trainers would have just waited until the next day, using the extra time to prepare for the battle and train their Pokemon.

"Alright, alright, I get it. Let's get this going, shall we?" Brock stepped back, gesturing for Connor to do the same as a referee took his position off to the side. "Geodude, I choose you!"

 

[Sonic Hoo]

You guys are freaking amazing. I've been reading on and off during my not-actually-working work day today and I had a stupid grin on my face for most of it thanks to you guys.

Made one of my own which isn't related to yours. Sorry.

Spoiler

Connor Bible arose from slumber to the shouts of his mother yelling at him from downstairs. The sound was muffled but he could vaguely make out that she was upset that he was late and had slept long enough. Glancing quickly at his clock, he saw the time blink silently back at him: “3:00PM”. Connor grumbled. He had only gotten 15 hours sleep but he needed more. He had spent all his mental energy on his one math class's homework and he planned to spend the next week recuperating. But his mother had insisted otherwise.

She expected him to finally start following in his town's tradition in their pokemon journey. Professor Oak spent one week each year in his town, initiating new trainers and sending them on their way. Some local townsmen had even become champion! Connor knew he'd be one of them one day. He just needed time to prepare himself. She had nagged and nagged Connor about finally going this year and he had finally agreed to go today, the final day of Oak's visit this year.


Closing his eyes and snuggling tighter back into bed, Connor thought of his ex-friends and personal enemies who had already left him behind to go and journey off into their own. Null had left first, years ago and had made a few headlines. He had always made a case of throwing out an insult aimed at Connor during his interviews. He'd never forgot Null's first interview with The Pokefan Network: “I just want to thank all those back at Port Royal Town who have been supporting me!” Underneath his blanket, Connor scowled at the memory. How dare he call him out like that. He was trying his hardest!


His ex-friend, Kiwi had left one year ago. Kiwi had become an enemy as well, claiming they'd wait and that they'd journey together with Connor but finally running off at their fifth chance to go on their pokemon journey. “Connor, I'm gonna go,” Kiwi had told him the night before they had left him. “You keep saying that this time you'll come with me, but you always back out on your promise. Sorry...I really waited.”


“Fucky you, Kiwi. You fucking bastard. What did you ever do for me?” were his well justified words back.


Kiwi had left and over time, sent back pictures to everyone in town of their adventures. They had already beaten a few gyms themselves. Null and Kiwi had become the talk of the town and meanwhile Connor's future genius remained ignored. He would become the greatest pokemon master. He knew he would. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd crush every gym and then Elite 4 would bow down in fear once he stepped forward.

Connor could already see that fateful day in his mind. Blanketed by the stadium of adoring fans, the lights blaring against his face and body, Molly Ringwailord screaming about wanting his body on the sidelines, an arsenal of pokemon at his side ready to fight on his behalf, Connor would stand against the final of the Elite Four, and grin with satisfaction as Lance creased his eyebrow in fear, sweat dripping down his face. “Rosebud...” he'd murmur, after his loss before ushering Connor to the champion.

Null and Kiwi would beg for forgiveness, but Connor would not forgive. Connor would not forget.


Yeah, that future was the best one yet, Connor thought to himself. That was the victory he would get for himself, starting today.

Yawning, Connor got up from his bed, pulled off his pants and sat in front of his computer. Okay, maybe tomorrow. After all, he had important things to do!

I thought Connor's other rival would be KaijuX.

 

[Meowthkip]

(Disregarding any previous story developments because fucky you, I just got hit by inspiration)

Don't worry, I got you covered.

 

[drtoboggan]

Is @Connor on any antidepressants? I think an SSRI would do him some good. Failing that, Lamictal. I have refractory depression and take both, which is why I'm not miserable or a cow of lol.

 

[Shiala]

I thought Connor's other rival would be KaijuX.

Connor hates everyone equally. I couldn't just pick one.

Editted to add: but yeah I should've picked him. Oops.

 

[Silver]

I was gonna perform this but then practicing in my closet so not to wake my people up is a bit eh

He wants to be the very best
like Stephen King never was
To write Eva is his real test
To fuck Molly is his cause

He will travel across the internet
Searching far and wide
For asspatters to tell him that
He's got talent deep inside

Connor Bible! Gotta write 'em all
It's him and he
He thinks it's his destiny
Connor Bible!
Ohh, he has no friends
In a world which he cannot contend
Connor Bible! Gotta write 'em all
A heart not true
His writer's block won't pull him through!
You try to help him and he'll say "fucky you"
Connor Bible!
Gotta write 'em all, gotta write 'em all, Connor Bible!

 

[Pikonic]

(Disregarding any previous story developments because fucky you, I just got hit by inspiration)

Connor barged into the Pewter Gym, just having restored his Pokemon at the Pokemon Center. Despite not training them whatsoever, he felt as though he were ready to take on Brock, the very first Gym Leader. That asshole Null did it, why couldn't he?

"Brock? BROCK?!?! Where are you? Are you ignoring me? Did Null tell you to ignore me?" Connor was making quite a scene; the Gym Trainers all paused and stared at him while he angrily stormed towards the back of the Gym.

"No need for yelling, I'm right here." Brock, a tall teenager with spiky hair, rose from his seat at the end of the Gym. While he was caught off guard by Connor's entrance, it was hardly unusual. He was the first Gym Leader, after all, and he was used to seeing hotheaded rookie Trainers barge into his Gym, all energy and passion and no tact.

"Well, then, Brock. I challenge you to a battle!" Connor huffed as he reached Brock, the combination of his physique and his rage taking its toll on his lungs. "I'm Connor of Pallet Town. But you probably know me from my controversial, cynical, and darkly humorous posts on various forums."

"Uh, no, I'm afraid I don't." Brock was a bit puzzled, but went on ahead. "But you're from Pallet Town, huh? We get a lot of Trainers from there! In fact, I just had a challenger from there recently! Maybe you know him. His name was Noel or something else with an N and he had a Wartortle-"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT NULL!! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ME NOW!! AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE!!!" Connor shrieked.

Brock stepped back in alarm; he certainly hadn't expected the kid to explode the way he did. Maybe he and that Null guy were rivals? Such a thing wasn't uncommon; quite the opposite, really. Internally, he shrugged; he really didn't care about the kid's backstory, he just wanted to finish this battle up quickly so he could go home. This Connor guy had come at a really inconvenient time, right before closing. Most Trainers would have just waited until the next day, using the extra time to prepare for the battle and train their Pokemon.

"Alright, alright, I get it. Let's get this going, shall we?" Brock stepped back, gesturing for Connor to do the same as a referee took his position off to the side. "Geodude, I choose you!"

"Charmander! Go!" Connor released his Charmander onto the battle ground. "Use ember or something!"
The geodude didn't even flinch.
"Rock types are very resistant against fire." Brock chimed in, "Geodude, use Body Slam!"
Charmander was knocked out immediately.
"Fucky you Brock! How am I supposed to defeat you with this Charmander?!"
"Don't you have anything else?"
"Wait, I do! Bulbasaur. I choose you!"
When Bulbasaur emerged it whipped Connor with his vines. "Ow! What the shit Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur laughed and replied with "Bulba!"
"Geodude, use Body Slam!"

 

[John Furrman]

Is @Connor on any antidepressants? I think an SSRI would do him some good. Failing that, Lamictal. I have refractory depression and take both, which is why I'm not miserable or a cow of lol.

Anti-depressants would probably make him kill himself. Lexapro is the fucking devil. Lamictal is an anti-seizure medication that happens to function as an anti-psychotic, so that would probably be a safer bet. Worst case scenario with that is he is the 1:8000 who gets the fatal rash from it.

sauce: life experience

 

[harvey dirdban]

Anti-depressants would probably make him kill himself. Lexapro is the fucking devil. Lamictal is an anti-seizure medication that happens to function as an anti-psychotic, so that would probably be a safer bet. Worst case scenario with that is he is the 1:8000 who gets the fatal rash from it.

sauce: life experience

Dunno if this is a standard reaction or not but Lamictal made me a weepy little bitch. So, probably not ideal for Connor.

 

[Smutley]

Anti-depressants would probably make him kill himself. Lexapro is the fucking devil. Lamictal is an anti-seizure medication that happens to function as an anti-psychotic, so that would probably be a safer bet. Worst case scenario with that is he is the 1:8000 who gets the fatal rash from it.

sauce: life experience

Dunno if this is a standard reaction or not but Lamictal made me a weepy little bitch. So, probably not ideal for Connor.

Don't worry, he's taking Celexa and Abilify!

 

[John Furrman]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=TcxpbhM0DaA


Don't worry, he's taking Celexa and Abilify!

View attachment 18646

Christ, Abilify worked so poorly for me that I had to be hospitalized. Obviously, it isn't doing him much good either.

Dunno if this is a standard reaction or not but Lamictal made me a weepy little bitch. So, probably not ideal for Connor.

Aww, sorry to hear that. Psychiatry is basically play darts with a person's mental health. You gotta find what is right for the patient. I missed my lamictal the day before my birthday last year. Worst birthday ever.

 

[Cosmos]

"Charmander! Go!" Connor released his Charmander onto the battle ground. "Use ember or something!"
The geodude didn't even flinch.
"Rock types are very resistant against fire." Brock chimed in, "Geodude, use Body Slam!"
Charmander was knocked out immediately.
"Fucky you Brock! How am I supposed to defeat you with this Charmander?!"
"Don't you have anything else?"
"Wait, I do! Bulbasaur. I choose you!"
When Bulbasaur emerged it whipped Connor with his vines. "Ow! What the shit Bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur laughed and replied with "Bulba!"
"Geodude, use Body Slam!"

Bulbasaur lazily ambled out of the way without Connor's command. It could already tell that its Trainer would not be any help during this battle.

"Bulbasaur, use Solar Beam!" Connor demanded.

Bulbasaur stared at him incredulously. Didn't Connor know that it wouldn't learn that move until much later? It rolled its eyes and fired off a Vine Whip instead. It managed t0 score a direct hit on Geodude, who promptly went down. Bulbasaur was much stronger than it looked.

"YES!!! I won! Hand over the badge, Brock!" Connor said while doing a celebratory jig. Bulbasaur did the equivalent of a facepalm with one of its vines.

"Not so fast," Brock said with a sly grin. "You still haven't faced my ace in the hole."

At Brock's words, Connor stopped hopping around and stared at him curiously. What did he mean by that?

"Go, Onix, I choose you!" Brock shouted as he threw a Pokeball. The Pokeball burst open to reveal an enormous, angry-looking, and very terrifying rock snake.

Upon seeing its gigantic and very intimidating foe, Bulbasaur promptly ran behind Connor and used him as a shield of sorts. It never signed up for this.

 

[Pikonic]

Bulbasaur lazily ambled out of the way without Connor's command. It could already tell that its Trainer would not be any help during this battle.

"Bulbasaur, use Solar Beam!" Connor demanded.

Bulbasaur stared at him incredulously. Didn't Connor know that it wouldn't learn that move until much later? It rolled its eyes and fired off a Vine Whip instead. It managed t0 score a direct hit on Geodude, who promptly went down. Bulbasaur was much stronger than it looked.

"YES!!! I won! Hand over the badge, Brock!" Connor said while doing a celebratory jig. Bulbasaur did the equivalent of a facepalm with one of its vines.

"Not so fast," Brock said with a sly grin. "You still haven't faced my ace in the hole."

At Brock's words, Connor stopped hopping around and stared at him curiously. What did he mean by that?

"Go, Onix, I choose you!" Brock shouted as he threw a Pokeball. The Pokeball burst open to reveal an enormous, angry-looking, and very terrifying rock snake.

Upon seeing its gigantic and very intimidating foe, Bulbasaur promptly ran behind Connor and used him as a shield of sorts. It never signed up for this.

"I guess you have to forfeit now." Brock smiled.
Connor mumbled "Fucky you." as he returned Bulbasaur to his ball.
"Look kid. Why don't you go back out in the field, try to catch some wild Pokemon, battle some people on the road, then come back and see me."
"Fuck this!" Connor stormed out of the gym. He quickly left Pewter City and was on the way back to Pallet Town to give up.
On the road he overheard two girls talking.
"Have you heard about this Null guy?"
"Yeah! He's so dreamy, and a great trainer, I heard his squirtle evolved into a wartortle in just a day!"
"It's a blastoise now! And after only five days, and he already has three badges!"
"SHIT!" Connor yelled, he couldn't let his rival take all the fame and glory.
Remembering what Brock said, he headed back to the grass to find some wild Pokémon.

 

[Arkangel]

"I guess you have to forfeit now." Brock smiled.
Connor mumbled "Fucky you." as he returned Bulbasaur to his ball.
"Look kid. Why don't you go back out in the field, try to catch some wild Pokemon, battle some people on the road, then come back and see me."
"Fuck this!" Connor stormed out of the gym. He quickly left Pewter City and was on the way back to Pallet Town to give up.
On the road he overheard two girls talking.
"Have you heard about this Null guy?"
"Yeah! He's so dreamy, and a great trainer, I heard his squirtle evolved into a wartortle in just a day!"
"It's a blastoise now! And after only five days, and he already has three badges!"
"SHIT!" Connor yelled, he couldn't let his rival take all the fame and glory.
Remembering what Brock said, he headed back to the grass to find some wild Pokémon.

Connor realized that he needed more Pokemon besides his Bulbasaur that were effective against Brock's rock and ground types if he had any chance of winning.
"I got to find something kind of water or fighting type", he said to himself. "Why didn't I just grab that Squirtle when I had the chance? This sucks."
Connor then went out into the tall grass to take a look. All he found were bird types and normals.
"God damn it. Now I HAVE to buy a fishing rod."
He went back into town to try and find one. First he tried the local PokeMart.
"How much for a Super Rod?" He asked the shopkeeper.
"15000", said the shopkeeper. "Plus tax".
"I can't afford that! That's insane!"
"Sorry, man. It's all I have in stock right now. If you want, I can place you and order on a cheaper Old R..."
Connor interrupted, "I don't want no dumbass Old Rod. I NEED that Super Rod so I can catch a strong water type Pokemon to beat Brock!"
"Well, then there's not much I can do for you. If you really want the Super Rod, you could always work for the money to pay for it. In fact, I have an open position here at this shop and could use someone to help out. If you'd care to show me your resume.."
Connor interrupted again "Don't you see what I'm trying to do? I'm trying to become a Pokemon master! I don't want to work some dead-end job at a mart in nowhere, Kanto!"
The shopkeeper became flustered. "I got news for your kid, not everyone can be a Pokemon master. Lots of people try, but few succeed. Even so, there's still plenty of room in this world for regular people with regular jobs. There's no shame in it, and there's no reason you can't both do work and try to become a master."
Connor replied "But I don't even have a resume. Can't I just borrow the rod for a minute?"
"I can't do that for you kid, especially not with an expensive item like this. This is a shop. not a library. Now, you can bring me your resume later if you're interested in the job, but if you can't buy anything right now then I respectfully ask that you be on your way and come back later."
Connor left the shop defeated. No rod, no hope of defeating Brock, and no closer to becoming a master.

 

[TM Ambrose]

Connor realized that he needed more Pokemon besides his Bulbasaur that were effective against Brock's rock and ground types if he had any chance of winning.
"I got to find something kind of water or fighting type", he said to himself. "Why didn't I just grab that Squirtle when I had the chance? This sucks."
Connor then went out into the tall grass to take a look. All he found were bird types and normals.
"God damn it. Now I HAVE to buy a fishing rod."
He went back into town to try and find one. First he tried the local PokeMart.
"How much for a Super Rod?" He asked the shopkeeper.
"15000", said the shopkeeper. "Plus tax".
"I can't afford that! That's insane!"
"Sorry, man. It's all I have in stock right now. If you want, I can place you and order on a cheaper Old R..."
Connor interrupted, "I don't want no dumbass Old Rod. I NEED that Super Rod so I can catch a strong water type Pokemon to beat Brock!"
"Well, then there's not much I can do for you. If you really want the Super Rod, you could always work for the money to pay for it. In fact, I have an open position here at this shop and could use someone to help out. If you'd care to show me your resume.."
Connor interrupted again "Don't you see what I'm trying to do? I'm trying to become a Pokemon master! I don't want to work some dead-end job at a mart in nowhere, Kanto!"
The shopkeeper became flustered. "I got news for your kid, not everyone can be a Pokemon master. Lots of people try, but few succeed. Even so, there's still plenty of room in this world for regular people with regular jobs. There's no shame in it, and there's no reason you can't both do work and try to become a master."
Connor replied "But I don't even have a resume. Can't I just borrow the rod for a minute?"
"I can't do that for you kid, especially not with an expensive item like this. This is a shop. not a library. Now, you can bring me your resume later if you're interested in the job, but if you can't buy anything right now then I respectfully ask that you be on your way and come back later."
Connor left the shop defeated. No rod, no hope of defeating Brock, and no closer to becoming a master.

Connor walked away, dejected that his only opportunity to catch up at his rival was out of his reach. A resume would take at least a week and by that time Null would have taken over the pokemon world. How could he possibly list his qualifications for a position that he obviously was overqualified for? He had such great traits such as being human, being comprised of matter and completing basic educational requirements that is expected of all children in Kanto.

He had to think up a plan and fast.

While it had been suggested that battling trainers was a good source of income, Connor had no time for such sociopathic tendencies. Maybe he thought to himself if I go towards where water pokemon are I can trade with other people for one. Not realising that this meant conversing with other people and having pokemon that he didn't want to keep, Connor waddled towards the local lake. As he deeply contemplated his surrounding his eyes fell on a young red head girl swimming with her Staryu and Starmie. Watching her from a far he could see she looked just as good as Molly Ringwald, her navel fully on display for him to view. This is what life was about for him. He stared for a long time, just dissecting her every action. From her conversations with her pokemon he could tell she had an obvious mental issue, this was especially visible when she noticed him staring at her from a far, causing her to move away. Because he had immediately fallen in love he of course followed her to learn more about her, taking in every moment.

(hopefully this wasn't too terrible)

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Is @Connor on any antidepressants? I think an SSRI would do him some good. Failing that, Lamictal. I have refractory depression and take both, which is why I'm not miserable or a cow of lol.

Anti-depressants would probably make him kill himself. Lexapro is the fucking devil. Lamictal is an anti-seizure medication that happens to function as an anti-psychotic, so that would probably be a safer bet. Worst case scenario with that is he is the 1:8000 who gets the fatal rash from it.

sauce: life experience

Lexapro made me so suicidal it wasn't even funny. Lamictal works pretty well for me, but you have to be careful while you're taking it because it's possible for you to rash to death at any time. A very very small chance, but one nonetheless. The worst I've gotten has been some nasty-looking itchy red patches on my arms & torso that generally clear up in a few days, & general skin hypersensitivity (it got so bad once that I had to sleep on satin sheets for a while).

Dunno if this is a standard reaction or not but Lamictal made me a weepy little bitch. So, probably not ideal for Connor.

Aww, sorry to hear that. Psychiatry is basically play darts with a person's mental health. You gotta find what is right for the patient. I missed my lamictal the day before my birthday last year. Worst birthday ever.

It made my best friend super-weepy & suicidal. As @John Freeman said, medication effects vary from person to person. Sorry you guys had such a shit time with it.

Christ, Abilify worked so poorly for me that I had to be hospitalized. Obviously, it isn't doing him much good either.

Gah, Abilify. My mood stayed relatively stable when I was on it, but it caused me to gain 50 lbs. Still trying to drop that weight after being off it for five years. Even when medication works, the side effects can be a real bitch.

 

[drtoboggan]

Anti-depressants would probably make him kill himself. Lexapro is the fucking devil. Lamictal is an anti-seizure medication that happens to function as an anti-psychotic, so that would probably be a safer bet. Worst case scenario with that is he is the 1:8000 who gets the fatal rash from it.

sauce: life experience

I've taken almost every antidepressant on the market. Sorry to hear your experience with Lexapro. I feel the same about Zoloft. Lamictal is very effective though. What do you say, @Connor? Want to ask your doctor about treatment?

 

[Pikonic]

Connor walked away, dejected that his only opportunity to catch up at his rival was out of his reach. A resume would take at least a week and by that time Null would have taken over the pokemon world. How could he possibly list his qualifications for a position that he obviously was overqualified for? He had such great traits such as being human, being comprised of matter and completing basic educational requirements that is expected of all children in Kanto.

He had to think up a plan and fast.

While it had been suggested that battling trainers was a good source of income, Connor had no time for such sociopathic tendencies. Maybe he thought to himself if I go towards where water pokemon are I can trade with other people for one. Not realising that this meant conversing with other people and having pokemon that he didn't want to keep, Connor waddled towards the local lake. As he deeply contemplated his surrounding his eyes fell on a young red head girl swimming with her Staryu and Starmie. Watching her from a far he could see she looked just as good as Molly Ringwald, her navel fully on display for him to view. This is what life was about for him. He stared for a long time, just dissecting her every action. From her conversations with her pokemon he could tell she had an obvious mental issue, this was especially visible when she noticed him staring at her from a far, causing her to move away. Because he had immediately fallen in love he of course followed her to learn more about her, taking in every moment.

(hopefully this wasn't too terrible)

As Connor tried to get a better look at the girl, a wild Staryu began nudging his leg, as if it was saying "Catch me!"
"Fucky off, I'm busy!"
Just then a Magikarp jumped out and tackled him, eager to find a master.
"Leave me alone!" He yelled at the two Pokémon.
Staryu took the hint and left, but Magikarp kept nudging him.
"I said FUCKY OFF!" He kicked the Magikarp into the water.
A flash of white light appeared and an angry Garados appeared from the water, glaring at Connor!
"Get out of the way! I can't see Molly!"
It let out a fearsome roar.
"Oh shit."

 

[GV 002]

Connor walked away, dejected that his only opportunity to catch up at his rival was out of his reach. A resume would take at least a week and by that time Null would have taken over the pokemon world. How could he possibly list his qualifications for a position that he obviously was overqualified for? He had such great traits such as being human, being comprised of matter and completing basic educational requirements that is expected of all children in Kanto.

He had to think up a plan and fast.

While it had been suggested that battling trainers was a good source of income, Connor had no time for such sociopathic tendencies. Maybe he thought to himself if I go towards where water pokemon are I can trade with other people for one. Not realising that this meant conversing with other people and having pokemon that he didn't want to keep, Connor waddled towards the local lake. As he deeply contemplated his surrounding his eyes fell on a young red head girl swimming with her Staryu and Starmie. Watching her from a far he could see she looked just as good as Molly Ringwald, her navel fully on display for him to view. This is what life was about for him. He stared for a long time, just dissecting her every action. From her conversations with her pokemon he could tell she had an obvious mental issue, this was especially visible when she noticed him staring at her from a far, causing her to move away. Because he had immediately fallen in love he of course followed her to learn more about her, taking in every moment.

(hopefully this wasn't too terrible)

"Do angels have names?" Connor thought to himself in a dreamlike stupour, dribbling out of the corner of his mouth and suddenly having an urge to purchase some vegetable oil and a bag of ice cubes.

This was just too perfect. She was his everything now, his alpha and omega, his be all and end all, his sixteen candles. They had been drawn together by fate, her bare navel a sure sign from the sociopathic belly button god; their bond is proven.

In the real world, the poor girl who happened to be the subject of Connor's affection was too repulsed to do anything at first.

The staring was bad enough, and more than adequate to disturb her on its own; but then it got even worse. His eyes glazed over (more than usual) and his mouth slackened (more than usual), releasing a sticky trickle of saliva. His hand absentmindedly wandered down to his trousers.

No way, he wouldn't? Would he?

Yes he would.

Because he's Connor Bible.

The Molly-doppelgänger immediately snapped out of her frozen stance and began storming angrily towards the fapping spastic, aiming to give the little perv a piece of her mind.

She didn't get far.

An acrid, nasty stench filled the air, stopping her in her tracks. It smelled like death. Thoroughly disgusted and completely out of fucks, she turned to make like a Hitmonlee and leg it. As she turned away, she heard a tangled, breathy mumble of words breeze past her, making all the hairs stand up ob the back of her neck.

"You are now my...girlfriend."



Note - Yeah, I know it's kinda gross, I'm just waking up for work and any morality or tact I once had is at least 2 cups of coffee away. I regret nothing!

EDIT - Oh bum, sorry @Pikonic!

 

[Meowthkip]

I've taken almost every antidepressant on the market. Sorry to hear your experience with Lexapro. I feel the same about Zoloft. Lamictal is very effective though. What do you say, @Connor? Want to ask your doctor about treatment?

I'm on Lexapro right now and it works just fine for me, but everybody has different brain chemistry.

Also, I continue to enjoy Connor's Pokemon journey. He should read it.