🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
I know! That's exactly what writing is. I just happen to be... harder on the characters in my stories than my peers.

Connor is too attached to his characters. In Redesigning Eva, there was not much as far as conflict went. Teachers were mean to Eva. So were school kids. She gets knocked out by an apple like Snow White. For some reason the doctor treating her is a serial killer without depth perception. There's a gorilla for no reason.

In regards to himself especially, Connor seems averse to putting his self-insert through any kind of conflict that isn't highly romanticized (assassination attempt by a shady cabal of people working for a New World Order because he's that much of a threat or something) or just self-pity (people on the Kiwi Farms are make fun of me so I'm gonna write about that and my mom being a bitch for no reason). He pretty much stopped responding to our Round Robin when I had him fall into a ditch. No response since.

Probably went to masturbate to bellybutton porn.
I can be pretty hard on mine as well. Misery builds character. Well, meaningful misery. If it's something like Redesigning Eva, eh. Come out stronger, that sort of thing (if they make it through).
That said, I've seen the same thing from (wait for it) DisneyFan01 and several other Suethors. They don't want anything bad to happen to them their self-inserts that doesn't make them speshul. If it doesn't make them speshul, then they don't want any conflict because it's so boring and NORMAL, ugh.

I'm disappointed but not surprised that he stopped after the ditch thing. Still pretty tantrum-y, though.
 
I follow Apple's playbook when I'm working on something. I don't say a word until it's almost finished. That way if it fails, the only person disappointed is me. That and it seems like as soon as I say something about it I lose interest.
 
I kinda can't wait to see what Connor has to say for himself. Even if it's the same shit each time, it's still funny, if only because he's only hurting himself.
 
Says the state that elected Sarah Palin. ;)
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I was getting super excited to see how Connor was going to improve himself today. I also really wanted to see the round robin stuff. Connor honestly reminds me of that turd on every elementary school playground who demands that people play his way or else.

I had come up with a freaky supernatural spirit beast to throw at him even. Why you gotta break a girl's heart, Connor?
I hope the beast would demand to see his resume to prove his worthiness.

Here's my theory---he may show up tomorrow morning. Here in Alabama, we have four inches of snow on the ground & counting.
All of the best Kiwis are from Alabama. This is a fact.

Haha, yes. I lived in Huntsville for years before I moved to Noo Yawk. The general attitude toward snow in the South is: There is two inches of snow coming! Protect your valuables! Hoarde food and water! Say goodbye to your children, pets, and the elderly for they will not survive the white death that is coming!
Everything shut down today in Tuscaloosa for what turned out to be regular rain. It didn't even snow down here until a few hours ago, right after Jan started streaming. I'm expecting a work/school delay in the morning for the <1" of snow on the ground.
 
I hope the beast would demand to see his resume to prove his worthiness.
I'm fucking dying

All of the best Kiwis are from Alabama. This is a fact.
I'm from Pennsylvania. I've only been in AL about three years. :(

Everything shut down today in Tuscaloosa for what turned out to be regular rain. It didn't even snow down here until a few hours ago, right after Jan started streaming. I'm expecting a work/school delay in the morning for the <1" of snow on the ground.
Dude, you're an hour & forty minutes away from me! I'm in Oneonta! & we. . .somehow got 5+ inches of snow?

I also live in places where weather exists. My favorite part about weather existing is telling other people that I'm better at having weather than a fat spastic on the internet. That's how I know I'm a really cool guy and everyone respects me on the online.

Like basically dude this is my weather if it was a dinosaur.
ALjKfcB.jpg

Except if that dinosaur was my weather it would probably die because of the ice age or one of its sequels.

And Connor's dinosaur weather for comparison would be more like this.
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Don't adjust your bifocals, that's not a dinosaur at all. You see the comparison works because his weather isn't real weather unlike mine which is true and that's what I believe.
I love you, Mauv.
 
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I kinda can't wait to see what Connor has to say for himself. Even if it's the same shit each time, it's still funny, if only because he's only hurting himself.
I would propose that if he is indeed making effort to change himself, we make this thread play "Chariots of Fire". Also I mainly felt bad about railing his weight and his autism, but not his brazen laziness, attitude, and creepy behavior with women. If his laziness and attitude keep up, I'll resume the #nirxnado #summerslam on his ass in the form of a certain Doom wad I may or may not be working on until I get verification.
 
I'd like to ask about everyones favorite mollay ringwald film. Mine is Ghost Dad starring mollay ringwald as Ghost Dad
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Ghost_Dad_Poster.jpg
 
My favorite Molly Ringwald film is Glen or Glenda (1953) starring Molly Ringwald.

Dude, you're an hour & forty minutes away from me! I'm in Oneonta! & we. . .somehow got 5+ inches of snow?
My family's dispersed down the 65 corridor from Cullman to Homewood. My mom texted me this afternoon saying she got half a foot of snow, while I was getting rain. I love snow (and I missed out on money since my work got closed for the day), so I was pretty jealous.
 
My favorite Molly Ringwald film is The Birth of a Nation (1915) starring Molly Ringwald. I hear it's really good, but I haven't seen it even though Molly Ringwald is supposed to be my favorite actress.
 
I think my favorite Molly Ringwald movie is The Breakfast Club.

See, it's a movie about a secret order of assassins who have to prevent ninjas from killing the president by using rabid bats. They have to struggle with the moral implications of using animals in warfare, and undergo the trauma of maturing in a world where most people are killed before the age of twenty. Finally, they decide to attack the ninjas while they're having breakfast.

Then, everyone gets Ferraris.
 
I loved Molly Ringwald in The Human Centipede (2009). She killed in that role!
 
My favorite Molly Ringwald movie is A Serbian Film. If anyone can class up a scene that features the rape of a newborn, it's Molly Ringwald!
 
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