🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Connor said:
I've realized that I'm a mess, frankly. My social skills are limited, my experience lacking, my confidence low. My body has atrophied. I need to work to improve myself, physically and psychologically. Every day, I'm going to write at least a page. When it warms up, I'll go for walks. If it stays cold, I'll wait until the weather is suitable. I will cut back on the amount of food I consume daily.
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This is a good start, and I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.
 
Connor said:
I've realized that I'm a mess, frankly. My social skills are limited, my experience lacking, my confidence low. My body has atrophied. I need to work to improve myself, physically and psychologically. Every day, I'm going to write at least a page. When it warms up, I'll go for walks. If it stays cold, I'll wait until the weather is suitable. I will cut back on the amount of food I consume daily.
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I really think getting a volunteer job is more important than writing everyday or jumping straight into a fitness routine. Little steps, man.
 
TrippinKahlua said:
Alright Connor, its a new week again, i ask once more, have you taken my extremely, extremely simple advice yet?

Stop thinking of it as "Physical Education" and more like "Active Activities."

You can even do it with an iPod in your ears playing your favorite Molly Ringwald scenes dipshit.

STOP BEING LAZY AND DO IT.
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THIS.

I moved into the town I'm currently living at five years ago with not a clue about it, and almost no money. I just picked a random direction each day and started driving. Stopping at every place asking if they were hiring. About three days in, I got a job interview. I got hired. As a Grocery-bagger at the local grocery store. I worked my ass off, rotated positions around the store to cross-train, and proved that I could both talk the talk and walk the walk.

Five years later, I'm the second-in-command of the Meat Department, A Master Butcher, and my team is responsible for over $120,000 of profit above expected sales a fucking month.

My point? GET YOUR FUCKING WEIGHT UP!
 
  1. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1421392074 A moment agoNull:
    how nigger get pregnant
  2. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    @ @Null, well, when two people love each other, Null...
  3. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    So, like I was saying... when a mommy and daddy love each other, Null, they do this thing called sex.
  4. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/3/3396.jpg?1413857052 A moment agoLocksnap:
    @ @Connor, yeah but what about the black chicks
  5. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/2/2074.jpg?1411619164 A moment agoCoster:
    @ @Connor, when do the belly buttons come in
  6. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    The daddy sticks his pee-pee maker into the mommy's, and he starts thrusting it in and out.
  7. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    Got it so far, Null?
  8. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1421392074 A moment agoNull:
    @ @Connor, i didn't even realize you were talking at me you spastic
 
It looks like he's realizing some important things. I don't know a ton about all of this whole thing, but if he is in fact serious about changing his views on adoption (what a fucking weird thing to be fixated on) and wanting to improve his life, I think that should be encouraged.
 
"Women don't have sex in the "pee-pee maker", Connor. Even Chris knows this." - Harvey Dirdban

"Three-quarters of an inch in diameter doesn't sound like much, until it's in your urethra."
-Mistress Scarlet
 
Just had to make this
autisitic-boy-faps-and-nothing-bad-happens.png

I present autistic-boy-faps-and-nothing-bad-happens.png
 
Last edited:
Cuddlebug said:
  1. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1421392074 A moment agoNull:
    how nigger get pregnant
  2. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    @ @Null, well, when two people love each other, Null...
  3. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    So, like I was saying... when a mommy and daddy love each other, Null, they do this thing called sex.
  4. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/3/3396.jpg?1413857052 A moment agoLocksnap:
    @ @Connor, yeah but what about the black chicks
  5. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/2/2074.jpg?1411619164 A moment agoCoster:
    @ @Connor, when do the belly buttons come in
  6. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    The daddy sticks his pee-pee maker into the mommy's, and he starts thrusting it in and out.
  7. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1422141632 A moment agoConnor:
    Got it so far, Null?
  8. https://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1421392074 A moment agoNull:
    @ @Connor, i didn't even realize you were talking at me you spastic
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@Connor takes forever to say nothing.
 
I AM STRAIGHT!!!! said:
Do not concentrate.

You must let words come out of your brain and through your fingers without deliberation or self-scrutiny. Don't think about the words, Word, or the screen. Don't even look at the screen. Stare through it or look somewhere else. Disregard punctuation and spelling. Learn to ignore the sense that you have made an error and just continue typing. If you're not sure where a sentence is going, hit enter and start a new thought.

Do editing some other time, after you're done creating the scene you're on. Things like "concentration" and "work" are not a part of this. Creation is spontaneous and must come straight from your brain. It's like Yoda said, use the energy that flows through you. If you use the crude matter it gets tired and everything is impossible then.
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This. I usually did this for my essays in my English II class and it helped a lot. Keeps the flow of your work consistent. There's no way you'll be able to type out your thoughts perfectly in one sitting, so you might as well jot your ideas down in brainstorming format. No matter how sloppy everything looks after you're done typing, you can always go back and at least combine the words into neat paragraphs.
 
Connor said:
She doesn't know much about the forums, thank God. She's a little overprotective, but I can't blame her. She's fought for me to get a decent education for years.
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I want to go back to this, because this reminds me of my mom and my sister. With this and your description of your mother sobbing over your suicide attempt makes me think your mother really cares about you, and it also sounds like your father cares about you, with his reaction. You should work on your relationship with your parents (to add to your list of things to work on). Try to see things from their perspective. Talk to them more, even if that means working through your autism. In fact, try to explain to them your perspective as an autistic person so maybe they can understand you better. I doubt you hate them add much add you've said you did in the past.
 
Who is running the pool on how long it takes before his depressive side swoops in again and he goes back to self-loathing attention whoring combined with insults?
 
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