🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
As is your right. People can write whatever they like about any subject that strikes their fancy. But you didn't answer my question: why should we care? What do you expect us to take away from what you've written and shared here?
Writing, for me, takes a lot of concentration. Most of the time, I have trouble putting words on the Word document screen. For me, the fact that I've managed to churn out 409 words in one sitting is a small step in the right direction.
 
Writing, for me, takes a lot of concentration. Most of the time, I have trouble putting words on the Word document screen. For me, the fact that I've managed to churn out 409 words in one sitting is a small step in the right direction.
Right, that's a step in the right direction for you. It's relevant content for you. You're still not answering me, Connor. Why should we care? What do you expect us to take away from what you've written?

Do you want to talk about writing as a concept? Do you want to discuss Stephen King's On Writing in specific? Or do you want us to pat your ass and say "Wow, Connor, great job! That's amazing! You should be so proud of yourself!" From where I'm sitting, it looks like the latter, but I want to be sure before I just make assumptions.
 
Writing, for me, takes a lot of concentration. Most of the time, I have trouble putting words on the Word document screen. For me, the fact that I've managed to churn out 409 words in one sitting is a small step in the right direction.
Here's a thought; write it out on paper first, then type it out. Some people find that they work better that way.
 
Right, that's a step in the right direction for you. It's relevant content for you. You're still not answering me, Connor. Why should we care? What do you expect us to take away from what you've written?

Do you want to talk about writing as a concept? Do you want to discuss Stephen King's On Writing in specific? Or do you want us to pat your ass and say "Wow, Connor, great job! That's amazing! You should be so proud of yourself!" From where I'm sitting, it looks like the latter, but I want to be sure before I just make assumptions.
The thing that was on my mind was the fact that tried-and-true writers have a substantial body of work, some of which might not make it to the bookshelves. So yeah, I'd say writing in general.
 
Its nice you wrote, but I think getting your resume in and getting a volunteer position at your local library is more important. You should focus on that first, and not let yourself get distracted.
 
Writing, for me, takes a lot of concentration. Most of the time, I have trouble putting words on the Word document screen. For me, the fact that I've managed to churn out 409 words in one sitting is a small step in the right direction.

I'm not trying to be mean here, because I think you're being really civil, but 400 words is really a very tiny amount in one sitting for someone who wants to publish a novel. I know you really want to be a writer but if it's that much of a struggle at the least you need to do a LOT of work beyond just freewriting, but you honestly seem to have so much trouble and don't seem very happy about writing. To me that's usually when one should give up and find another hobby.

At the least, maybe pick up another hobby to supplement writing? For instance, when I'm stuck on my own writing, I often knit or crochet.

Edit: also, try a site like VolunteerMatch. I've volunteered at a few places I found on there, it's a really good resource.
 
So, like, here's a thing. I'm not a writer. I am absolutely not a writer. From the ages of 12 to about 16, though, I thought I wanted to do that and was researching publishing (even getting into contact with Charles Bock about it because he happens to be a friend of my dad's) and coming up with ideas for stories I wanted to write and publish.

The majority of my work was actually fanfiction or heavily influenced by existing series, and I was well aware of this fact. I did plan to spend time researching ideas for some of my truly original works, but it never happened just because I gave up on that wish before ever reaching that point. (Now, I want to write a symphony! I guess it was just transferring my desires haha)

But, like, I did a lot of fanfiction and I wrote a lot. I participated in National Novel Writing Month, and won, three times, as well as writing many, many chapters of various other fanfictions, and short stories featuring me and my friends getting up to wacky hi-jinx. The total sum of all of my seriously-written fiction totals out at at least 180,000 words, probably closer to 200,000 and maybe even more than that.

@Connor, you once said that 500,000 words was more than you would ever write in a lifetime. In the span of six years (12-18), I achieved 2/5 that quantity. And I'm not even a writer.

If you're not gonna write Redesigning Eva, it will behoove you to at least write other works. Writing has to be a passion, not something you do because you Want To Be A Writer, and let me tell you, writing was definitely enjoyable - and sometimes still is - when I was doing National Novel Writing Month and writing my many-chapters-long Warrior Cats fanfictions. The fact that you can't even spit out 500 words in one sitting (something I can accomplish in about 15-20 minutes, despite not being a writer) strongly suggests to me that you're just not feeling the love for writing as much as you should. Do you honestly enjoy writing? Or are you just obsessed with making your stories Happen?
 
400-500 words are about 2-3 decent sized paragraphs. So, what you're telling us is that writing a single page at once is a huge accomplishment to you? This really puts things in perspective.
 
We keep on telling him to volunteer, but I can tell you right now that he'd get sick of it in an hour. Connor has no social skills, he'd be awful at volunteering.

I tried to volunteer for a few months at a library. I have severe anxiety issues. After I got in an altercation with a mentally unwell guy who was an ass to everybody at the library (that day he was cussing at kids because he lost his scarf), I dismissed myself. Sometimes the worst scum try to live at the library, and I was sick of seeing them treat everybody like shit.

---

ANYWAY, I don't even see Connor finishing college because you have to write papers constantly. Even in community college. You might have to write an essay to get into the college you want to transfer to. If you get in there, you have to write a thesis before you graduate. Mine was 50-something pages and I only had three months to write it.
 
Not to mention it would take him several decades to graduate taking only one class per semester.
 
I think the other issue with Connor volunteering is that it requires kind of a basic level of interest in other people. I volunteered on a crisis hotline before switching to animal-oriented things because it was too much for me, but even in the animal world, you have to care about people, and interact with people in a way that makes them feel you're interested in them. And you have to do it for no pay.

If he did volunteer at a library, he would have to help people, I imagine, pretty often. It's not just about books. And he's made it clear he doesn't care about people.

I think I would just apply to fast food places and other minimum wage jobs if I were Connor. I think it would suit him better. Volunteering is a great experience but some people are really not meant to do it.
 
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And honestly, sometimes that gets annoying as hell.
Yep. One place I volunteered, I was supposed to be purely an educator about animal science. What ended up happening was a lot of people asking me where the bathrooms/exits/vendors were.
Any volunteer role is probably going to have that kind of thing and you kind of have to deal with it gracefully, or not do it.
 
Writing, for me, takes a lot of concentration. Most of the time, I have trouble putting words on the Word document screen. For me, the fact that I've managed to churn out 409 words in one sitting is a small step in the right direction.

Well if you get on the right track then potential for improvement is vast, because what you're doing goes nowhere.

Do not concentrate.

You must let words come out of your brain and through your fingers without deliberation or self-scrutiny. Don't think about the words, Word, or the screen. Don't even look at the screen. Stare through it or look somewhere else. Disregard punctuation and spelling. Learn to ignore the sense that you have made an error and just continue typing. If you're not sure where a sentence is going, hit enter and start a new thought.

Do editing some other time, after you're done creating the scene you're on. Things like "concentration" and "work" are not a part of this. Creation is spontaneous and must come straight from your brain. It's like Yoda said, use the energy that flows through you. If you use the crude matter it gets tired and everything is impossible then.
 
Connor, you're starting to listen to us. keep listening to our constructive criticism like this, and I'm sure your future will be great.
 
Anyway, welcome back @Smutley . This is for you, as thanks for your invaluable research.
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/baddudes-png.14088/
Duuuude, I love this!! <3

Part... 7 is it? I estimate we'll get up to Wrong Planet Part 15 before this is all over and done with.

Connor is a firm believer in routine infanticide
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Well no shit
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If you would like to hone your unique skills Connor, might I suggest checking out the Analchests Cookbook?
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LONG SNAKE-LIKE S__TS PREVENT VOMITING

Star Trek (1973-1974)
Star Trek: The Animated Series (1973-1974)
Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994)
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999)
I don't think he's gotten to your childhood yet, Connor...
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Not everything needs to be mockery. Connor expounds some reasonably progressive views for growing up in South Carolina
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:sighduck:
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If you like me PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!! (wait did Connor tell his high school classmates about wanting to fuck belly buttons?!)
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The Master Baiter of Pityfishing
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http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=106699
(Connor's adoption thread he feels bad about :roll:)[/SPOILER]

No wait really guys Connor is completely over adoption he gets it now because he listened to Queen
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Alright Connor, its a new week again, i ask once more, have you taken my extremely, extremely simple advice yet?

Stop thinking of it as "Physical Education" and more like "Active Activities."

You can even do it with an iPod in your ears playing your favorite Molly Ringwald scenes dipshit.

STOP BEING LAZY AND DO IT.
 
Writing, for me, takes a lot of concentration. Most of the time, I have trouble putting words on the Word document screen. For me, the fact that I've managed to churn out 409 words in one sitting is a small step in the right direction.
Connor if you don't enjoy the process of writing it's very likely you don't like writing either. You need to like the process of writing stuff down and then subsequently editing it.

There's a variety of ways to get in the mood to write something. You could try copying a paragraph down word for word and going from there, you could spend a little time editing the previous page. You could just write a solitary word over and over again until you get in the mood. Etc. It's something that's very controllable.

Something else i'd recommend is not procrastinating. Procrastination is the thief of time. The easiest way to avoid procrastination is to do a little writing every single day at the same time. The human body likes patterns and when you do something a little every day, you become more inclined to do it without thinking about it.
 
I like how he casts himself briefly seeing past his own delusions as some how throwing off a shared cultural baggage. Personal pet delusion =/= negative stereotype.
 
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