🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
So Connor what caused you to take this a bit more calmly now? I don't think it will last but at least today you seem a little less angry with the world and us.
 
Cuddlebug said:
Connor maybe you should try going to school for something like a trade. Like carpentry or plumbing or something. Those can easily lead to employment.

Then you can worry about whatever pipe dream you're thinking about when you've moved out and have your own money.
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plumbing or something

pipe dream

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/slaps @Coster 's knee

Okay, okay, I was actually going to comment on @Smutley 's posts, but I'll abstain---for now---since Connor actually seems to be trying. I'll have more opportunities to be a dick, I'm sure.

Anyway, welcome back @Smutley . This is for you, as thanks for your invaluable research.
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Dog walking can be a good Career, but you need to get proper insurance and driving license to be able to pick up client's Dogs/be able to rush to Vet in emergancy to do it seriously, and be prepared to be out in all weathers. Also keeping track of distance you travel in the car for work for your tax purposes.
(my fiance was a physicist and Komputer physics model programmer and he just adores dogs so as soon as he paid of his mortgage started his own dog walking business, and now after some years of that boarding kennel and show kennel.)
He walks 10 or 15 KM a Day now with his clients dogs(he had four walk slots a day, with compatible dogs in each slot) and has become very fit.
He takes one day the Week off.

Starting off small, just walking the Dogs in your neighbourhood as a casual thing may be a great Springboard for you to start working. .
If you find it to your liking you can consider moving forward to make it more of a serious job.
Like later on getting driving license and learning what insurance you need(maybe bonded as well to prove you are safe to enter the client homes- this is a proof of your lack of any past crime; finding out what you should have in your area should be easy to discover)

Even if it is too disagreeable to build up a business to and you only stay at casual stage, you at least will have some experience for your Resume and references of being dependable and trusty. Also getting in good shape with regular exercise! That will always make life more agreeable, even if you have other ills, to be fit.

(Belgian Tervuren is very lovely, proud working hund. I'm sure he is a wonderful friend.)
 
Loaded up Connor's magnum opus on Wordle and this is what I got:
(Note: No additional words are added)

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Hat said:
The one for "bifocals" is relatively small. Are you sure you inputted the full draft?
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The bifocals stuff wasn't in there as much as you might expect, the original draft only had it about a dozen times. It just sticks in your mind because it's such a weird thing to say. For comparison here's the Wordle for my thing where I actively tried to use the word as often as possible.
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Connor said:
I managed to write something today. It's only 409 words, but its a start. It all came off the top of my head, too.

"According to the website TV Tropes, Sturgeon’s Law (a maxim attributed to science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon) says that ninety percent of everything is crap, but that the remaining ten percent is worthwhile. Applying Sturgeon’s Law to the world of fiction writing, this means that of the one hundred percent of works published, only a small portion has a strong chance of making an impact on the hearts and minds of readers. The more pessimistic variations on Sturgeon’s Law go so far as to say that only one percent of fiction is actually good, or even outright state that the totality of fiction is terrible.

Let us look at this optimistically. Suppose a fiction writer toils for several years, churning out short stories, novels, novellas, scripts, and so on. This is what everyone with aspirations of being a fiction writer should do. They should write and write and write. Life will get in the way, obligations hovering over your shoulder with stubborn impatience. Your concentration, diligence, and confidence will face challenges. “Do I have what it takes?” you will ask yourself. “Is fiction writing really for me?” you will wonder. Let me tell you something, buddy: everyone, and I mean everyone, has some story to tell. I am about to turn twenty-one in a few days. From elementary school to today, I have written the first draft of a novel, two storybooks, and a ten-page manuscript, as well as numerous essays and articles and editorials throughout my life in public school. Do they hold up to my present standards in retrospect? No, but at the very least, they exist outside of my skull.

“Writers write,” as a man named Stephen King from Bangor, Maine, put it so tersely and so poignantly in his memoir On Writing. The man has been at it since his youth, and has been a bestselling master of horror and suspense for roughly forty years. The volume of his published work has been gargantuan, but in reality, it is probably much bigger, because for every one of Stephen King’s terrifying tales, there exists dozens that may never see the light of day. Perhaps they were beneath his standards. Perhaps they were not bankable. Perhaps some were just too disturbing. Perhaps all three could apply. Whatever the case, the fact remains that Stephen King has plenty of tenacity to persevere in his writing, knowing that the finished manuscript before him might not see the light of day..."
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Yet Stephen King also did a lot of cocaine. He also didn't give a shit about what others thought about his work. I read a bit from his book on writing, and he made fun of books about writing, while also telling his life story.

You, on the other hand, have not even dealt with half the shit Stephen King dealt with growing up. He was ill most of the time and confined to a bed.

So you have no right to bring up a much better writer than yourself.
 
Connor said:
I managed to write something today. It's only 409 words, but its a start. It all came off the top of my head, too.

"According to the website TV Tropes, Sturgeon’s Law (a maxim attributed to science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon) says that ninety percent of everything is crap, but that the remaining ten percent is worthwhile. Applying Sturgeon’s Law to the world of fiction writing, this means that of the one hundred percent of works published, only a small portion has a strong chance of making an impact on the hearts and minds of readers. The more pessimistic variations on Sturgeon’s Law go so far as to say that only one percent of fiction is actually good, or even outright state that the totality of fiction is terrible.

Let us look at this optimistically. Suppose a fiction writer toils for several years, churning out short stories, novels, novellas, scripts, and so on. This is what everyone with aspirations of being a fiction writer should do. They should write and write and write. Life will get in the way, obligations hovering over your shoulder with stubborn impatience. Your concentration, diligence, and confidence will face challenges. “Do I have what it takes?” you will ask yourself. “Is fiction writing really for me?” you will wonder. Let me tell you something, buddy: everyone, and I mean everyone, has some story to tell. I am about to turn twenty-one in a few days. From elementary school to today, I have written the first draft of a novel, two storybooks, and a ten-page manuscript, as well as numerous essays and articles and editorials throughout my life in public school. Do they hold up to my present standards in retrospect? No, but at the very least, they exist outside of my skull.

“Writers write,” as a man named Stephen King from Bangor, Maine, put it so tersely and so poignantly in his memoir On Writing. The man has been at it since his youth, and has been a bestselling master of horror and suspense for roughly forty years. The volume of his published work has been gargantuan, but in reality, it is probably much bigger, because for every one of Stephen King’s terrifying tales, there exists dozens that may never see the light of day. Perhaps they were beneath his standards. Perhaps they were not bankable. Perhaps some were just too disturbing. Perhaps all three could apply. Whatever the case, the fact remains that Stephen King has plenty of tenacity to persevere in his writing, knowing that the finished manuscript before him might not see the light of day..."
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Well, I'll give you that; 409 words of pompous, self-aggrandizing literary masturbation is, in fact, something. I'm curious as to why we should care, though. Any thoughts, @Connor?
 
Connor said:
It was just indulging myself in a little free-writing.
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Yeah but here's the thing, and I'm going to be a bit harsh here: Most writers who aren't big yet maintain another job so they can pay the bills until they do get published. No offense man but you've never had a job, you're not really taking many college classes, and you seem to put to much emphasis on you writing the novel than the novel itself.
 
Connor said:
It was just indulging myself in a little free-writing.
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As is your right. People can write whatever they like about any subject that strikes their fancy. But you didn't answer my question: why should we care? What do you expect us to take away from what you've written and shared here?
 
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