🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Connor Bible]

You wouldn't want your Social Security or PIN numbers on a forum, would you?

 

[ZombieGaryOak]

Define something. If it's anything financial, forget it.

First off, really? People have been trying to help you and you think we're trying to get money from you?

I want a page from you a day. One measly page of writing. It can be a story, it can be like a diary, it can be anything. But I want one page from you a day. That's it.

 

[Locksnap]

You wouldn't want your Social Security or PIN numbers on a forum, would you?

Nobody fucking wants your details.

 

[Lurker]

You wouldn't want your Social Security or PIN numbers on a forum, would you?

Learn how to ping or quote me.

And it's called "blanking them out", you idiot.

 

[TM Ambrose]

You wouldn't want your Social Security or PIN numbers on a forum, would you?

Do you have paint on your computer? Blur that shit out or cover it up.

 

[Picklechu]

People are not defined by their pasts.

Actually, the most scientifically accurate predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

I'm not going for a pity party, Uzumaki. This thread has been on my mind for the past several days, and it has really been bothering my conscience.

The second statement contradicts the first.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Define something. If it's anything financial, forget it.

Walk along the Spanish Moss Trail that's literally right next to your house and take some pictures of the scenery. Post us the pictures and we will see you did something and also some nice pictures.

 

[Uzumaki]

Oh no, what now? Your "something" bluff got the shit called out of it.

 

[Coster]

What's the point of trying when I know that I'm going to fail, or be undermined?

Nothing. It's the same thing I'll get when I actually do something.

You know what? I have everybody. I hate myself. I hate this fucking world. I don't see how I'm expected to live in it. I don't see how I'm supposed to deal with idiots, scumbags, and assholes without blowing their brains out.

I call bullshit.

You want dates, times, and addresses, motherfucker?

You actually think I can take life's shit like going a ring with Mike Tyson in his prime? Seriously, go fuck yourselves. Most of my life, I've been betrayed, spat on, undermined, and humiliated. You honestly fucking expect me to deal with other people with a poker face?

Why don't you go fuck yourself?

What's the point of trying when I'm going to fuck up anyways? I always fuck up!

Fucking up is not okay!

I'm telling you, there's no fucking point in trying when failure is inevitable!

You know what failure is? It's life's way of telling you that you should just fucking give up.

I will fail.

What reason do I have to be optimistic in this existence?

I have nothing to live for. Don't bother pulling the "third-world country" shit on me, because every nation is a third-world nation.

remember guys, connor really really wants to improve lol

 

[HG 400]

I legitimately want to improve my life and circumstances.

Start by getting off the internet, god damn.

 

[Lurker]

remember guys, connor really really wants to improve lol

Hey, there's the post where he told me to fuck myself! Those were the happier days.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

You said you wanted to volunteer, and that's a good idea if you're not working. Where do you want to volunteer? How many applications have you filled out?

You said that you want to meet new people and make friends. Go to www.meetup.com and find some groups that interest you. Volunteering will also help you meet new people.

You said you're having trouble writing a resume and cover letter. Go to your college's career center and get help, that's what they're paid to do.

See? It's not so hard.

 

[Lurker]

You said you wanted to volunteer, and that's a good idea if you're not working. Where do you want to volunteer? How many applications have you filled out?

You said that you want to meet new people and make friends. Go to www.meetup.com and find some groups that interest you. Volunteering will also help you meet new people.

You said you're having trouble writing a resume and cover letter. Go to your college's career center and get help, that's what they're paid to do.

See? It's not so hard.

You don't understand. Everything's hard for someone who doesn't want to improve themselves, like Connor. No matter how much advice you give him, he will find a way to make excuses as to why he cannot do anything. Your advice is solid, but it's falling on deaf ears.

 

[Smutley]

I don't know which is a bigger pussy, Connor or the one his mother squirted his fat head through.

edit: Actually that was too mean and unrelated to his being a lazy lump. I'm sorry Connor's mother.

 

[Hat]

Connor, if you truly want to change; if you truly want us to stop making fun you; if you truly want to be a writer, get log off of Kiwi Farms, shut down your computer, grab a cup of coffee, get on your typewriter, and write something. It could be anything, even a haiku, perhaps. See if you can get a story published in some literary magazine; H.P. Lovecraft wrote for a relatively crappy one himself. A writer is defined by his works, and all we have from you are the drafts of Redesigning Eva, which are amusingly bad.

Until you change your ways and at least try to accomplish something, we will think of you as a lolcow, and every time you come here and whine we are reminded of this. Show us something! You said you were working on "Night of the Slayer;" give us an excerpt from it! Anything!

This is the last piece of advice I'm going to give you.

 

[Lurker]

I don't know which is a bigger pussy, Connor or the one his mother squirted his fat head through.

Oh, come on, man. It's not his mother's fault that her son became such a fat pussy.

 

[ZombieGaryOak]

Here Connor, these are your options for what we want from you:

1. A page of writing every day.
2. Take a walk down the Spanish Moss trail by your house.
3. Volunteer somewhere.

And I'm adding one thing as something that I think you owe most of the posters in this thread. An apology for your rudeness WITH proof of which ever option you've chosen.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

You don't understand. Everything's hard for someone who doesn't want to improve themselves, like Connor. No matter how much advice you give him, he will find a way to make excuses as to why he cannot do anything. Your advice is solid, but it's falling on deaf ears.

Yeah, you're right. I don't know why I wrote that, I guess I wanted to, no matter how futile, offer my advice. Maybe it will help someone else.

 

[HG 400]

I'd like to offer this alternate set of options.

1. Log off.
2. Stay off.

 

[Uzumaki]

Senator Connor, inquiring minds want to know: what were you trying to accomplish in this thread, by being whiny and defeatist, if not a pity party?