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Connor Bible, a 32 year old “man”, who’s afraid of his senior citizen mother is saying he’s going to stand up to the US government. He’s so stupid.
Connor is a terrible writer who makes it clear he has zero life experience. His characters friend dies but still puts in his lunch order for a “pizzandwich “.
He's trying to convey the pain of going through the motions of a mundane day while in the throes of a tragedy that only his character seems to know or care about in that moment. The problem is that Connor most likely doesn't read, so his writing itself is mundane and fails at evoking the intended feeling. It's a chore to read through and feels like it has no actual point. This passage has a lot of little problems to it that could be improved with major editing, but these little problems also show someone who fundamentally lacks the skillfullness to create an interesting piece of writing. It's not just that he lacks life experience, it's that he also lacks literary experience. He needs to read more - a lot more - to get the feel of how other authors accomplish what he's trying to accomplish, and he needs to write on a consistent basis and learn the importance of editing, so that he can build the skills needed to write shit that people will actually care about.
As it is, he's showing off a rough first draft of a stand-alone passage that his ego is telling him is worth showing off in its current state. That's always been one of Connor's major problems, on the rare occasions that he actually does write. He puts in little effort and then thinks that little effort is enough. He's incapable of looking at his own writing through a critical lens, which is a crippling quality in a writer. Editing is arguably the most important part of writing, but Connor sees it as a step that's unimportant in general, and completely unnecessary for him personally.
yeah, it’s wild to me that he thinks he’s putting forth an honest effort in getting better. If he wasn’t so lazy he’d write short films and film them since it’s painfully obvious he’s far more interested in movies.
Sweet GodBearJesus that was painful to read. Even as a slice of life story it's so... empty and meaningless. He's trying to convey emotions that he just has no clue about.
What does the homeless man have to do with anything? Why mention how some guy left a nasty message? Who in the fuck orders a "six-cheese pizzandwich" and a coke and isn't a kid? And he expects to become a writer with this drivel?
There's a concept out there when it comes to writing which is, "write what you know". The idea is to write fiction while weaving in personal details that only one has lived through should be using. It gives your writing a sense of authenticity. Otherwise you wind up using somebody else's words and feelings which makes it seem off. And seeming off is exactly how Connor writes. I don't feel "Connor" is in there and this tripe could have been written by anybody.
He's trying to convey the pain of going through the motions of a mundane day while in the throes of a tragedy that only his character seems to know or care about in that moment. The problem is that Connor most likely doesn't read, so his writing itself is mundane and fails at evoking the intended feeling. It's a chore to read through and feels like it has no actual point.
Good take on that because that's exactly how it feels. His writing is "soulless" and empty. Granted a case could be made that somebody feels empty when something like is described in his story happens. But in the hands of a talented writer they can still weave something emotional and personal into it.
His writing is "soulless" and empty. Granted a case could be made that somebody feels empty when something like is described in his story happens. But in the hands of a talented writer they can still weave something emotional and personal into it.
Exactly! If your character is feeling empty, then you're supposed to be using the writing to make the reader feel that emptiness, not just make the writing itself feel empty.
Exactly! If your character is feeling empty, then you're supposed to be using the writing to make the reader feel that emptiness, not just make the writing itself feel empty.
It’s also this weird mix of being told this guy’s friend died but still not being totally sure what it’s about. And the character reacts to his friend dying in a way that no one would respond to their friend dying. Why would you check social media? Why would be distracted by a homeless person across the street? Why would your agent see you crying and just leave? Why would you be distracted by your coke? What adult orders a pizzandwitch?
Connor found a place where people are too dumb he’s doing a mediocre impression of a smart person. He’ll never have to actually do anything and he’ll get all the fake social media attention he wants.
It's like in bad teenage fanfiction when the self-insert protagonist fucks his waifu of choice it's some of the most cringe writing you can imagine and it comes off as "IKEA sex". Basically insert Tab A into Slot B and repeat. The problem with that is it's missing the "feels". It's missing the sensations. It's missing the very emotions that went into it.
The physical part of sex is only one side of it and you can tell who's never done it from one that has based on how they write about it.
Connor writes the world like he's only read about it but never lived it.
