🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Smutley said:
Experienced & Published Novelist Connor Bible gently coaches a new user with all the advice he's gathered over the years.
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Experienced write-
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Oh...
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He still hasn't broken 199 words?

There's only so much time in the day you can masturbate. He's got to be able to squeeze half an hour to get something down.
 
Hey don't be too hard on him, he'll have his novel done by 2023! He just has to take it easy and pace himself.
omg connor.jpg
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
He still hasn't broken 199 words?

There's only so much time in the day you can masturbate. He's got to be able to squeeze half an hour to get something down.
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Yeah but this is Connor. He masturbated so much not only did he make it painful, he actually used up all his sperm and failed to ejaculate. Typing that makes it sound like some sort of urban legend (or at least a local one) and yet it really happened.

My favorite part of that story is he sought out help because he couldn't figure out he needed a doctor, only to cuss people out for their advice which was see a doctor. And stop masturbating.
 
MysticMisty said:
Yeah but this is Connor. He masturbated so much not only did he make it painful, he actually used up all his sperm and failed to ejaculate. Typing that makes it sound like some sort of urban legend (or at least a local one) and yet it really happened.
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I don't know whether to be shocked that he couldn't figure it out or horrified that he did it that much.

My favorite part of that story is he sought out help because he couldn't figure out he needed a doctor, only to cuss people out for their advice which was see a doctor. And stop masturbating.
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Do you have a copy of that somewhere because that sounds freaking amazing.
 
MysticMisty said:
I found this (http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=244400#p5734252) and this (http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=4739609#4739609), neither of which are quite what I had in mind due to the lack of fucky you's, but close enough! The bottom line still remains: Connor actually managed to masturbate too much.
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So obviously this isn't the first time it's happened if he's telling folk to fuck off when they say to stop jacking off so much. Although I'm wondering how many times he actually did it? Are we talking several times a day, every day?

I'm suddenly reminded of that scene near the beginning of "American Beauty" where a majorly depressed Kevin Spacey is talking about his 10 minute masturbation session in the shower every morning being the highlight of his day. How bad does it have to be that you do this multiple times a day, every day? I think somebody needs Prozac or something.
 
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i think connor is making threats to molly's life now

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Bugaboo said:
Why would you let fucking Kengle on your private facebook profile
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They're buddies. He pays attention to Connor, and Connor briefly allied with him and Vordrak after we lured him here like the impressionable young man he is.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
So obviously this isn't the first time it's happened if he's telling folk to fuck off when they say to stop jacking off so much. Although I'm wondering how many times he actually did it? Are we talking several times a day, every day?

I'm suddenly reminded of that scene near the beginning of "American Beauty" where a majorly depressed Kevin Spacey is talking about his 10 minute masturbation session in the shower every morning being the highlight of his day. How bad does it have to be that you do this multiple times a day, every day? I think somebody needs Prozac or something.
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I'm guessing as often as he can get it up is about as often as he masturbates. I want to say maybe he does it at least a little less so he can actually ejaculate, but I'm sure he's still getting off way too much. Because what else does Connor have to do? Helping grandma doesn't take all day. He has one college class he hasn't passed yet so clearly he's not doing homework. He doesn't seem to have any chores. He doesn't read, and he doesn't seem very into video games. All Connor seems to do is go online, watch DVDs, and masturbate.

@Connor Bible , you need a fucking hobby and pretending to write doesn't count. Learn to knit, paint, draw, bake, play more video games. Do something, and I guarantee not only will you jack off less you'll feel happier too.
 
Apologies for this being like, a month old. I wouldn't think that Connor did any NaNo forum posting this year (considering how little writing he did), but I checked out of curiosity and there were these two from when he was still talking about the James Bond story.
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