🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
chimpburgers said:
He's a man that wants to put @KatsuKitty into ovens.

The more serious answer would be to read this thread.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/helios127-woody-chan.6835/
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He comes across as more of a sped then connor.

Btw Connor has probably deleted the emails in a panic. I doubt we'll ever see them
 
lolwut said:
He started to, but then he crashed into slumber.
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workin.gif


So, Connor, we still have a mole in your new little sewing circle. I'm glad you are able to open up to all your new friends in ways you wouldn't with us. Maybe you should ask your new friends why they keep sending us your embarrassing posts?

"Three playable characters isn't complicated"
upload_2016-6-10_8-52-48.png


Okay, read each of these pics bottom-to-top

"I have some good news. I technically have a girlfriend"
upload_2016-6-10_8-55-11.png


upload_2016-6-10_8-54-55.png


upload_2016-6-10_8-57-56.png
 
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Oh, you have a beautiful, intelligent, but conveniently distant girlfriend now? congratulations. I can tell, she is almost certainly real and definitely not a lie, or a catfish, or a smelly autistic whale.

Come on connor, even you know redesigning Eva wasnt "actually about" anything, because you never finished writing it.
 
Ass Manager 3000 said:
connor is just a younger less experienced Kenneth
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What if Kengle IS Connor from the future, who then travels back in time (and changes his name)?

edit to add:
Smutley said:
[GF]
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Hopefully that one thing Connor said about breaking someone "because [he's] Connor Bible" isn't a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 
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In my brief time of talking to Connor I always got the impression that if you gave him a tiny bit of attention it would be incredibly easy to 'sweetheart saga,' him despite the tough guy facade he puts on when it comes to women.

I wonder what odds there are that this is the woman who was defending him on Twitter recently. Maybe she isn't trolling him but he's just assuming they're a lot closer than they actually are. He did say she was 'kind of' his girlfriend.
 
Smutley said:
View attachment 102764

So, Connor, we still have a mole in your new little sewing circle. I'm glad you are able to open up to all your new friends in ways you wouldn't with us. Maybe you should ask your new friends why they keep sending us your embarrassing posts?

"Three playable characters isn't complicated"
View attachment 102758

Okay, read each of these pics bottom-to-top

"I have some good news. I technically have a girlfriend"
View attachment 102760

View attachment 102759

View attachment 102762
Click to expand...
I present to you, real evidence of Connor Bible's girlfriend in Europe:

big-catfish-o.gif
 
Hugh Rahn
"Uncle Cirrhosis"
upload_2016-6-11_18-56-14.png

Rahn Specialty Greenhouse
2809 Smilax Avenue
Port Royal, SC 29935
Phone: (843) 524-7353​

Hugh Rahn is Connor's favorite uncle, a man who has been dying of cirrhosis for at least four years now [archive]. Connor's hatred for the dying man stems from being, "casually [swore] at and saying [he] should give up [his] writing for good" and for getting yelled at when he eats all the mans Candy Corn. Even Connor's grandmother will join in on the hateful abuse, the pair of them telling Connor he was a fuckup for calling random family members and telling them about how much he masturbates and throws up at olive garden [archive]. Reality, as always, proves the harshest enemy that Connor must face.

Uncle Hugh used to live in Arizona before his tragic demise required his relocation [archive] into the Bible household, instantly throwing it into disarray. We discovered that in actuality, he is a broken down mafia don who rules the household through fear [archive] and the "Bible Code Of Silence". Connor's parents began fighting again, most likely due to his menopausal mothers insane delusions, and this allowed his uncle (who's dying, as Connor helpfully reminds us), to tell him that jokes calling veterans terrorists aren't funny [archive] and to threaten to beat him regularly. This in turn stopped Connor's progress with Redesigning Eva in 2012.

Not everything is bad, though! Even as Connor's uncle continues to harass him, they with his grandmother all enjoy a rousing viewing of 2001: A Space Odyssey [archive].

Little is known about his time before living in the Bible household. We do know Uncle Hugh appears to be unmarried though it is undetermined if it is by death or divorce. Though we are unable to find many records for his time out in Arizona, we might speculate that he worked in the landscaping / contracting business there as well. Hugh currently runs Rahn Specialty Greenhouse out of the Bible household, and it's possible that Connor's philandering father works with him part-time between gigs as an EMT. We do know that Hugh loves his mother nearly as much as he loves candy corn, and he hates when fat 22 year old children cry about things on the internet.

In some ways, we are all a little like poor dying Uncle Cirrhosis.
 
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