🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
ToroidalBoat said:
Maybe given the clear successes of the other Bibles, they had high expectations when baby Connor was born?
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Sure. A new baby is like a brand new chance at success. There's so much potential and hope that they constantly praised him for whatever he did and didn't want to stand in his way of choosing his destiny. He then wasted all that good will to the point where his father shipped him off to live with his Grandmother because he couldn't stand being around such a lazy fuckup anymore. All those hopes and dreams they had were finally shattered when instead of going to some ivy league University he managed to get into community college and decided to only take one course per year.

I think the best they can hope for now is that he doesn't go all Elliot Rodger at some point and go on a killing spree. Although if and when he completes his "novel" and it get rejected for the tenth time, I think he's going to crumble inside and things are going get really bad.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
[...] I think the best they can hope for now is that he doesn't go all Elliot Rodger at some point and go on a killing spree. Although if and when he completes his "novel" and it get rejected for the tenth time, I think he's going to crumble inside and things are going get really bad.
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King Phillip II of Macedonia once sent a message to the Laconians, stating that if ever he invaded their lands, they would be destroyed in whole, never to return or rise again. The Spartan ephors, in typical Laconic phrase, replied with a single word, a word that is particularly applicable to this scenario.

If.
 
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chimpburgers said:
Yeah right loser.

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Talk about delusional. Connor becoming a best selling author is honestly less likely than Sonichu getting a real video game. Because I would seriously believe SEGA, being the meme-centric trolls they are, finding a way to work with Nintendo to make that game happen. I consider that a possibility LONG before I consider Connor getting a novel published. Never mind it being a best seller.

Also, I love that he says we'll still be living with our mother's. Connor, you don't get to make that insult when YOU YOURSELF are still living off your parents/grandmother. And in all honesty? It's likely your situation won't change much in ten years unless they decide to kick your ass to the curb at some point and FORCE you to fend for yourself
 
Galvatron said:
Also, I love that he says we'll still be living with our mother's. Connor, you don't get to make that insult when YOU YOURSELF are still living off your parents/grandmother. And in all honesty? It's likely your situation won't change much in ten years unless they decide to kick your ass to the curb at some point and FORCE you to fend for yourself
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In ten years I figure my mother will be living with us so it's not really the same thing.

It all depends on several factors assuming of course when we have kids and whether or not my Dad is still around.
 
This is going to be like the time Null turned his name pink and he thought he was banned. :sighduck:

I'll admit that I'm enjoying this new twist on the Connor Cycle.
 
It's HK-47 said:
King Phillip II of Macedonia
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I initially read that as "Maradonia" & thought "what the fuck does Gloria Tesch's shitty book have to do with---" before I realized my mistake. Goddammit, I've been on this site too long. #FuckKiwiFarms

It's kinda interesting, though---Gloria Tesch is the embodiment of everything Connor hates about women (or rather, how he perceives them). Gloria is slutty (read: conventionally attractive), spoiled, vain, not all that bright, & so shallow that if she were a puddle, one could stand in her & not get their feet wet.

But she still finished her novel before Connor.
 
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