🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Cosmos]

Connor's mom wrote a better letter than all of Connor's Designing EVA and Alpha Boy drafts combined.

I bet she wrote it in a fraction of the time it would have taken Connor, too.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

wrote it in a fraction of the time

That's not a hard thing for most people to do.

Spoiler

I haven't really kept up with this thread much, but IIRC, Connor started writing Redesigning Eva -- a short novel -- back when he was in high school, or about 4-8 years ago.

The entire Harry Potter series was written in 10 years.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

That letter was a great find. Semper fidelis to all are armed @Smutley .

Geez, how depressing is that letter? Clearly his parents and teachers have done everything necessary for him to succeed and this fucker threw it away just like when he threw away our friendship for Vordrak.

Sic semper autismis, no?

Man, this really hit me. It sounds like Connor's mom and his teachers really did their best to ensure that Connor would succeed. The part that says "The next day DiOrio [Connor's third-grade teacher] handed me at least 100 pages of material on autism that she gathered by researching the Internet" really stuck out to me. She sounds like a great teacher.

Also, everything that we've heard about Connor's mom makes me feel so sorry for her. It sounds like she loves Connor very much and wants what's best for him, and he repays her by telling strangers on the internet that she's abusive and a horrible mother.

I think the thing that jumped out to me was that she found the news of Connor's autism to be "devastating." I'm sure she probably assumed the worst & thought Connor would be one of those really low-functioning children who couldn't dress themselves & would spend all day screeching & flinging shit at the wall if Mrs. DiOrio hadn't stepped in. But if I found out my mom was telling people she was devastated about my something something powerlevel, I'd be mortified. Maybe that's part of why he demonizes her---she doesn't "understand" his autism because she was scared at first, & when she tries to share her story about raising a child with autism to other fearful parents, she's just playing it up to get attention & pity.
As far as the "pill-popping drunk" thing goes, she probably developed anxiety. Try to place yourself in her shoes---as far as she knows, her precious baby boy, her only child, has a debilitating neurological condition. That's every parent's worst nightmare. So she probably takes Xanax or something, & has the occasional drink to relax.

 

[Lorento]

isn't Seattle supposed to basically like never see the sun?

A bit like how the Kiwi Farms will never see a completed draft of Connor's book.

 

[Xarpho]

That letter was a great find. Semper fidelis to all are armed @Smutley .



I think the thing that jumped out to me was that she found the news of Connor's autism to be "devastating." I'm sure she probably assumed the worst & thought Connor would be one of those really low-functioning children who couldn't dress themselves & would spend all day screeching & flinging shit at the wall if Mrs. DiOrio hadn't stepped in. But if I found out my mom was telling people she was devastated about my something something powerlevel, I'd be mortified. Maybe that's part of why he demonizes her---she doesn't "understand" his autism because she was scared at first, & when she tries to share her story about raising a child with autism to other fearful parents, she's just playing it up to get attention & pity.
As far as the "pill-popping drunk" thing goes, she probably developed anxiety. Try to place yourself in her shoes---as far as she knows, her precious baby boy, her only child, has a debilitating neurological condition. That's every parent's worst nightmare. So she probably takes Xanax or something, & has the occasional drink to relax.

Well, Connor does seem to be developmentally "behind". Connor's graduated high school but still has a teenage mindset, so he has conflicts with his parents and has delusions of grandeur. As much as Connor's work is hack writing (at best), most of us have probably had an "original work" that we thought was great but lifted portions or concepts from more established works of fiction. As for Molly, she's probably one of those "fixations" that :autism: people have, just as ADF has his road signs and bicycles in his fictional country. Unfortunately for Connor, this and his unfortunately dumpy appearance makes himself like a creepy stalker.

Whether Connor grows out of this phase or remain a manchild for the rest of his life remains to be seen.

 

[José Mourinho]

Whether Connor grows out of this phase

Lol no, I think he's still in this phase for like >4 years

 

[TrippinKahlua]

@Connor Bible please stop being a piece of shit! Fuck!

A few weeks ago, I post onto Tim Robbins Facebook, calling him "Andrew Reinhardt" and he gave me a Like for it. Thats how you tribute an old celebrity.

Because only someone like me would remember his role in the first few episodes of St. Elsewhere.

 

[Taily Puff]

Why does he keep making different accounts it's not like he's hard to find

If he signs up like he's a new person, he doesn't actually have to do any work growing as an individual or producing things. He can just vaguely summarize his same old completely valueless bullshit ideas and wait for someone to encourage them, thinking he's a young new writer taking his shaky first steps. If he stays on the same account, people will gradually start to wonder why he keeps mentioning his 'rough outline' and 'slow paced perfectionism' while not actually writing anything, and then he starts getting called out. Picking out a new google image icon and entering a user name and a captcha is way less work than writing fifty words worth of his greatest life goal and only real dream.

Okay, Connor, let's pretend like you actually don't have any trace of the emails to show us. Can't you at least summarize what was said?

For what it's worth @Connor Bible I'm not too upset about you betraying your last realistic chance at getting friendship and support. But that's because I already knew you were a cowardly lazy two-faced spineless walking garbage bag full of dogshit. Finding out you're dumb enough to get 'swayed' by someone with zero charisma is no shocker. And finding out that you were writing pages worth of conversational dialogue about the people mean enough to suggest you try writing your book is no real shocker. It was pretty obvious from the get go that you're a lazy chickenshit.

Geez, how depressing is that letter? Clearly his parents and teachers have done everything necessary for him to succeed and this fucker threw it away

It makes you wonder if he ever realizes what a huge (and I mean huge) weight he is on the lives of the people around him.

He pays no rent, he makes no money, he lives entirely off of his parents. This is the age when his parents should be taking cruises and reminiscing on the life they've lived and the successes they've had. Instead they have to keep shoveling food at what amounts to a black hole of failure, throwing as many calories as necessary at their spawn to distract him so they don't have to cut him down from the rafters again. Working full time jobs, organizing and paying the bills, and arranging an entire life for a miserable thankless shell of a human who watches them toil away to support him while he complains that one class a semester is a crippling burden of a workload. How often does he wonder (realize) if everyone around him would be better off if he managed to hang himself for real. Or if he got a minimum wage job and wrote some short stories. But you know. That will literally never happen because no one in this world is driven enough to overcome such an impossible obstacle as getting a job as a clerk and typing words on a keyboard, so it's obvious the only answer is hanging himself.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

Let's start treating him like a real Lolcow. Here's Connor agreeing with us.

 

[CatParty]

this just proves that no matter where connor goes HE DOESN'T WANT ADVICE he just wants people to listen to him whine

 

[Smutley]

I'm sure she probably assumed the worst & thought Connor would be one of those really low-functioning children who couldn't dress themselves & would spend all day screeching & flinging shit at the wall if Mrs. DiOrio hadn't stepped in. But if I found out my mom was telling people she was devastated about my something something powerlevel, I'd be mortified.

So this article was written when Connor was entering middle school. That would have placed it somewhere around 2002-2004 when she wrote it.

Now this is just a hunch and I'm probably wrong. But I have a suspicion that even if Connor knew about the existence of that letter, he didn't understand it even if he actually read it.

Let's start treating him like a real Lolcow. Here's Connor agreeing with us.

Well that's the saddest forum I've ever seen.

"People expect me to write, and there's no product to show for it, either."



"work"

"I've been doing research on B-movies and exploitation films"

Connor you're just watching movies in your boxers that's not research!

 

[r00]

All the talk of suicide is by far the most distasteful aspect of Connor. Stop making your inertia everyone else's problem, you fat-headed dead eyed, covert narcissist. Stop with the suicide bullshit and do some work you fat wastrel.
Stop lying, stop talking about ideas because ideas are dime a dozen and literally nobody on the planet cares about them unless you back them up with action.
Copying and pasting a few Steven King lines to give the impression that you are some kind of tortured, hardworking artist is utterly pathetic.
The things you do are so fucking hateable, Connor. They arent an intrinsic aspect of your being they are all choices you make. You are the only lolcow that makes me want to scream at you like i'm some kind of hysterical woman.

 

[GV 998]

So this article was written when Connor was entering middle school. That would have placed it somewhere around 2002-2004 when she wrote it.

Now this is just a hunch and I'm probably wrong. But I have a suspicion that even if Connor knew about the existence of that letter, he didn't understand it even if he actually read it.



Well that's the saddest forum I've ever seen.

"People expect me to write, and there's no product to show for it, either."



"work"
View attachment 95532


View attachment 95533

"I've been doing research on B-movies and exploitation films"

Connor you're just watching movies in your boxers that's not research!
View attachment 95534

Ok, @Connor Bible I have to ask. WHY are you researching Roger Corman, or B-movies in general? I mean, I get it, sometimes it's fun to research things just for the hell of it. I, for example, like to reading about sharks. I find them fascinating. So far, this research has no practical purpose for me, other than my own enjoyment, but who knows, maybe one day I'll write a short story involving sharks and that knowledge may prove useful.

But what is the value of researching Roger Corman, for you? You're not a film student (as far as I know) and you have no real ambition to make movies. You want to be a writer. And a fiction writer at that, so unless you're planning to write a biography on Corman, or a retrospective on B-grade sci-fi/horror flicks, I'm not sure what researching Corman is gonna do for you.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I get it though.

Why do you think I enjoy movies such as Streets of Fire, Flashdance and Footloose?

@Connor Bible , I recommend you research through the "80s Operas" as well. You need to broaden your interests a bit to find pure beauty in things.

AND GET THAT FUCKING KETTLEBELL! GO TO DICKS SPORTING GOODS WITH $70 OR SO AND MAKE IT HAPPEN!

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

this just proves that no matter where connor goes HE DOESN'T WANT ADVICE he just wants people to listen to him whine

That, & everyone blows him off until he says something laughable or stupid.

Well, Connor does seem to be developmentally "behind". Connor's graduated high school but still has a teenage mindset, so he has conflicts with his parents and has delusions of grandeur.

He's still in his early twenties, so perhaps not that far behind, all things considered. & he doesn't seem to be stupid. Gullible & mind-numbingly autistic, yes, but not stupid. Assuming his mother initially reacted to his autism diagnosis as poorly as she implied, she probably thinks he's some sort of savant.

So this article was written when Connor was entering middle school. That would have placed it somewhere around 2002-2004 when she wrote it.

Now this is just a hunch and I'm probably wrong. But I have a suspicion that even if Connor knew about the existence of that letter, he didn't understand it even if he actually read it.

Oh, I agree. I guess my point was that I think the letter shows insight into how Connor's mom reacts to him (or rather, his autism), & he resents her for it. I imagine this would likely be the first time he'd see this letter specifically. Not gonna lie, I'm eager to see his reaction.

"I've been doing research on B-movies and exploitation films"

Connor you're just watching movies in your boxers that's not research!
View attachment 95534

Ok, @Connor Bible I have to ask. WHY are you researching Roger Corman, or B-movies in general? I mean, I get it, sometimes it's fun to research things just for the hell of it. I, for example, like to reading about sharks. I find them fascinating. So far, this research has no practical purpose for me, other than my own enjoyment, but who knows, maybe one day I'll write a short story involving sharks and that knowledge may prove useful.

But what is the value of researching Roger Corman, for you? You're not a film student (as far as I know) and you have no real ambition to make movies. You want to be a writer. And a fiction writer at that, so unless you're planning to write a biography on Corman, or a retrospective on B-grade sci-fi/horror flicks, I'm not sure what researching Corman is gonna do for you.

@Smutley has said this before, & I agree with him---Connor would be much better suited to writing screenplays or movie reviews. I'm pretty sure that's where his heart is. His "fiction" is chock-full of movie references, & he writes like he's directing a movie.

 

[AnOminous]

@Smutley has said this before, & I agree with him---Connor would be much better suited to writing screenplays or movie reviews. I'm pretty sure that's where his heart is. His "fiction" is chock-full of movie references, & he writes like he's directing a movie.

Movie scripts are mostly dialogue. That doesn't mean you have to be David Mamet, but you have to be able to write dialogue like you actually have talked to humans at some point in your life.

 

[r00]

Ok, @Connor Bible I have to ask. WHY are you researching Roger Corman, or B-movies in general?

This is probably the crux of connors problem. He clearly likes movies way more than novels. He really doesnt read much, and the narratives he writes proves that. He knows he is way too lazy to ever make a film so he thinks writing novels will be an easier alternative, as he just needs a pen and a pad and his own brilliant creative mind.
Rather than admit that he never really liked novels or writing in the first place, and that he has literally no idea how written narratives are constructed, he doubled down on his bullshit and tried to come up with excuses for why he wasn't immediately shitting out prizewinning stories, oblivious to the fact that anyone with half a clue can immediately see right through him. He is a poser of the highest order.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Movie scripts are mostly dialogue. That doesn't mean you have to be David Mamet, but you have to be able to write dialogue like you actually have talked to humans at some point in your life.

“What about kids who die from killing themselves? I mean, I wouldn’t kill myself. Not at all, that’d be terrible.” Eva’s voice was like a silenced machine-gun going off, low and quick.

“Look, bitch, you need to get laid,” the nurse blurted suddenly.

“What?” Eva responded, obviously stunned by the nurse’s attitude.

“You heard me, bitch. Get some dick, eat another girl out… you know what else?” The nurse moved her swivel chair towards a cabinet, opening it. “Smack or crack?”

Eva didn’t respond.

“Fuck you, Elliot. Get the fuck outta my crib.” The venomous syringe in the nurse’s hands ejaculated into the air under the flickering fluorescent light.

Good point.

 

[Cosmos]

Good point.

Oh God, I completely fucking forgot about the scene in the nurse's office. The nurse is black, so obviously she has to speak in exaggerated hood speak and store hardcore drugs in her office, which she gives out to students.

I know that Connor probably wrote that scene to show us how ghetto Eva's school is, but even the most ghetto and shitty school in the United States would not have a school nurse that hands out drugs to students. It just would not happen.

 

[Smutley]

As long as we're discussing Redesigning Eva...

I know it's not dialog but for those who haven't read it, Connor had a teacher masturbate himself to death during class. That's almost as fun as GhettoNurse and BlackApe.

Also, Eva is Garfield?

Eva despised Mondays, like many other boys and girls her age. At least this was her last year before going into the Great Beyond, where there was no higher power forcing her to get in a desk five days a week. She was in her frowning t-shirt and skirt, looking out the window from her seat in her English class. It was still raining. The room was silent, and the teacher, Mr. Yorkin, was sitting back, enjoying the latest issue of Hustler. This is what you get when teachers hit middle age and pop Viagra, Eva thought. They don’t know when to keep it in. Looking at the clock, she noted that it was a minute from dismissal. Yorkin’s breathing had become labored, and when the bell finally rang, he slipped into unconsciousness. It was his last hurrah, and the coroner wouldn’t come for another five hours. The way he was sitting, with his barely-dripping penis sticking out of his fly, his mouth and eyes wide open, Eva could tell that he was out of it. It was the last time she saw him.