🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
I think we're at "Edgy Rebel Without A Cause" Connor,
Connor Bible said:
But here's the thing: even if I did fix the problems, you'd probably still find something to bitch about just because I'm a lolcow.
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Connor Bible said:
No, I'm trying to fucking reason with you, and possibly come to some common ground.
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Connor Bible said:
Would you just take it easy?
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Connor Bible said:
Someone has their panties in a bundle.
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with shades of Emo Connor.
Connor Bible said:
@Phil Ken Sebben : I'm taking two classes at my college, going four days a week. Both course involve a lot of academic writing and studying. My immediate family doesn't believe there are any jobs out there for me, and would rather I completed college before I look for one. What you also have to understand is that life does not stop and start at the convenience of writing, or college, or potentially, employment. Even with all of that going on, shit will happen. I have mentioned that my grandmother is very ill. She could potentially be dead in the next two years. If she were to die while I were at work/on campus/writing, I can't just say "c'est la vie" and keep at it.
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Connor Bible said:
I'm too fucking hard on myself. If I were to just suspend my disbelief for a moment, I could do something.
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Connor Bible said:
I meant disbelief in myself and my capabilities. If I said to myself, "I can write a short story", and believed I could do it, just ONCE, I may produce something.
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I predict we're going to be hitting the "JUST NUKE ME YOU GUTLESS MOTHERFUCKER" apex of the Edgy Connor stage of the cycle soon.
 
Ruin said:
Man what is it about Connor that makes everyone powerlevel and suck his dick so hard?
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I have a theory about this. Everyone chats shit about connor not understanding how ridiculous he is for going through the same cycle of 'believe in me' and butthurt. BUT most of us go through that cycle with him and that's interesting.

I think it's because we all see some of ourselves in Connor. Now, that's not just another 'KF user base is as autistic as the cow' jab, It standard empathy. Connor is not a reprehensible human-being or weird on the level of ADF and CWC. Couple that with his 'boo hoo why me' attitude and you have someone relatable. We've all been weak or lazy once when we shouldn't have and connor can be a mirror for that. However-

This thread cannot fix Connor. None of you can fix Connor. Stop trying. If anything responding to Connor just keeps his headspace here.

Perhaps some of this appeasement is an attempt to extract content from him but lets face it, that's not very effective either.
 
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@Connor Bible it is pretty clear to all of us that you are going to be a failure in life. We don't want you to be a failure which is why we are constantly white knighting you in this thread but we have resigned to it. All evidence and all laws of nature suggest that you will become a NEET and accomplish nothing in your life. But the thing about the laws of nature is that they are descriptive not prescriptive. The laws of nature are just what we have observed to have always happened and they don't control you. We think that you are going to fail because those like you have failed in the past but that won't make you fail. You can be the exception and defy the laws of nature and there is nothing stopping you but your own laziness
 
Ass Manager 3000 said:
Connor went from 20% effort to 25%

We've set the bar low for him *sigh*
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Let me show you the future:

Potential Employer: why did it take you 30 years to earn your associates?
Connor: Autism.
Potential Employer: Not the Rain Man kind?
Connor: Not the Rain Man kind.
Potential Employer: Thanks for your time.
*shredder whirrs*
 
I tried the book-recommendation angle a while back. Even though the Rilke book is an extremely slender volume, do you think he'll finish it? I've stopped kidding myself.
 
Connor needs to drop the self-centered notion that this thread is his own personal "Congratulations" circle à la Evangelion. It's been over 500 pages; even Instrumentality would have given up on him by now.

Ultimately, no matter how scared and depressive Shinji was, he was able to self-actualize and he needed to make that final push himself.

The non-autistic translation of the above being: It doesn't matter how long this thread gets, how many inspirational power level stories get posted, or how many well-wishes and pieces of advice get passed on. Connor is using this thread as a "challenge" for us to inspire him. Whenever the cycle is on anything but the first stage, he blames us for being abusive and unforgiving, when this approach is not only inaccurate, but self-centered and ignorant. We are not responsible for Connor's ups and downs. Our ideal role in Connor's life is none at all. Not as a hugbox, not as a years-long tough love session, and not as a chorus of hecklers that he pays any mind.

There is no magical combination of words that can motivate him. At this point, the only one who can possibly inspire Connor is Connor.
 
Golly said:
Connor needs to drop the self-centered notion that this thread is his own personal "Congratulations" circle à la Evangelion. It's been over 500 pages; even Instrumentality would have given up on him by now.

Ultimately, no matter how scared and depressive Shinji was, he was able to self-actualize and he needed to make that final push himself.
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Lol didn't he never even finish the series. He won't get the reference.
 
Golly said:
Connor needs to drop the self-centered notion that this thread is his own personal "Congratulations" circle à la Evangelion. It's been over 500 pages; even Instrumentality would have given up on him by now.

Ultimately, no matter how scared and depressive Shinji was, he was able to self-actualize and he needed to make that final push himself.

The non-autistic translation of the above being: It doesn't matter how long this thread gets, how many inspirational power level stories get posted, or how many well-wishes and pieces of advice get passed on. Connor is using this thread as a "challenge" for us to inspire him. Whenever the cycle is on anything but the first stage, he blames us for being abusive and unforgiving, when this approach is not only inaccurate, but self-centered and ignorant. We are not responsible for Connor's ups and downs. Our ideal role in Connor's life is none at all. Not as a hugbox, not as a years-long tough love session, and not as a chorus of hecklers that he pays any mind.

There is no magical combination of words that can motivate him. At this point, the only one who can possibly inspire Connor is Connor.
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I think i get what you're saying, if we give him that final push, he'll end up destroying the world and there will be a massive severed head in the background, right?
 
Aquinas said:
I think i get what you're saying, if we give him that final push, he'll end up destroying the world and there will be a massive severed head in the background, right?
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Not just any massive severed head. Molly Ringwald's. Giant naked Molly will summon the end of the world.
So on second thought, maybe we aren't seeing the big picture. Maybe we're all playing checkers while Connor plays chess. Thank you for sacrificing your potential for the sake of mankind, Connor!
 
I know a few people have said similar things already but I got a massive Groundhog Day vibe from reading the last few pages of this thread.

Everyone is still jumping on Connor and calling his work shit when it's been proven this is the quickest way to get him to be put off sharing content with us, people are still trying to inspire Connor with touching stories about how they did 20 classes a week while working 50 hours a week and volunteering at their local animal shelter at weekends and Conoor is rigidly showing that he's completely resistant to changing.

I think Connor will become a lot more interesting when he leaves college because for now he's stuck in the same loop and really isn't going anywhere. His most funny attribute right now is that he's almost at an Andrew Dobson level for instantly hating on anyone who criticises him. I thought we had a beautiful friendshop online and yet the minute I criticised his writing he blocked me and acted like I never existed :( If that doesn't remind you of Dobson then nothing will
 
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