🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
So I was feeling nosy/had a ton of time to kill and did some snooping. I pulled up the website for his school and looked up the degree plan for their general education AA (which I am assuming is what he's doing right now, since he's failed to answer anyone regarding what his exact major is, so I'm assuming he doesn't fucking know and his parents enrolled him in gen ed).

We know he's taken an "intro math" course, and I'm reading now that he isn't taking college algebra which is what I had foolishly assumed upthread. No, he's taking "Beginning Algebra" which, lo and behold, is indeed the name of a course at his college.

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Here's a shortlist of some of the math courses offered at TCL. Specifically of note is the "(Non-degree credit)" beside both the previous class he took (which I'm assuming is Developmental Mathematics) and the class he just dropped out of for being too torturously hard. This means, obviously, that it doesn't count in any way toward his degree, and that he was taking it (likely at the suggestion/insistance of his parents) to sort of get him up to speed so that he could start taking actual required math classes.

Here then, are his actual math reqs:

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The ellusive College Algebra and College Trig. For anyone who's curious, college algebra and college trigonometry are maybe one step up from their high school equivalents, but otherwise not that far off. If you know your sines and cosines, you'll do fine in college trig.

The takeaway: Connor has spent two semesters taking math courses that don't apply to his theoretical degree, and has apparently dropped one of those. I typically wouldn't fault a dude on struggling with math, because lord knows I've been down that road. But Connor, pal, you were taking one class and you still couldn't cut it. I would kill to be able to dedicate that much time to any of my classes. Why didn't you get tutoring? Your school has math tutors. I checked for you.

TL;DR: Connor will never graduate.
 
What degree is Connor even aiming for at this point?
Also if he can't do beginner algebra he's gonna be fucked in trig
 
IIRC from my college days, non-degree credits are used by administration to decide if a student should be placed on academic probation or dismissed for poor academic performance.

And Connor is having trouble with even those classes.

Like everyone's said, Connor will never graduate - for a variety of reasons.
 
AnOminous said:
How do you fail tard math?
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Serious answer: I'm betting he's spending little to no time outside of class studying the material or working problems. He probably thinks that because it's something he isn't innately good at, that it's impossible and just stops trying. Instead of you know, doing a shit ton of practice problems and asking for help when things don't make sense, which is how you actually git gud at math.

That's just speculation, but it'd fit his character so I'm going with it until he proves me wrong (how many hours outside of class do you study, Connor?)
 
Sanae Kochiya said:
Doesn't it cost him money to continue to take terms at this college if he keeps dropping his classes instead of finishing them? Hell, I'm surprised it still puts up with him for stalling so much.
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It's possible he goes to school fo free because of the tism.
 
wet_butt said:
Serious answer: I'm betting he's spending little to no time outside of class studying the material or working problems. He probably thinks that because it's something he isn't innately good at, that it's impossible and just stops trying. Instead of you know, doing a shit ton of practice problems and asking for help when things don't make sense, which is how you actually git gud at math.

That's just speculation, but it'd fit his character so I'm going with it until he proves me wrong (how many hours outside of class do you study, Connor?)
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He told us that he couldn't write because he was spending all his time studying. What the hell is he doing if not studying or writing? Jacking off? All day?
 
Well @Connor Bible you better get cracking on some job applications since education is obviously a waste of time and effort for you.
Start practicing saying "May I take your order please?" and "would you like paper or plastic?" because you'll be saying those words a lot and for the rest of your life with your current attitude and work ethic.
 
Silver said:
He told us that he couldn't write because he was spending all his time studying. What the hell is he doing if not studying or writing? Jacking off? All day?
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If I had to guess, staring at his textbook, unable to focus, despairing of ever being able to make sense of any of it instead of actually trying.
 
Silver said:
He told us that he couldn't write because he was spending all his time studying. What the hell is he doing if not studying or writing? Jacking off? All day?
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More than likely, he does nothing. Imageboards, video games, all the things that make hours slip away in a hurry.
 
Silver said:
He told us that he couldn't write because he was spending all his time studying. What the hell is he doing if not studying or writing? Jacking off? All day?
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Well to be fair, did he actually mention what he was studying? For all we know that could be Connor speak for "watching porn" because it's educational.
 
This afternoon I decided because I was bored and looking for nostalgia and kiwifar is slow today to look through Our Connor's post history before this thread (since clicking "show earlier posts" 15 times in succession is nice and calming because I have autism). There have definitely already been at least 5 of these kinds of posts, but I don't care and I think we need to have a little reminder of what attracted all us admirers to him before this whole fracas happened once every few months. It reminds us of a simpler time.

So, uh, let's go through Connor's Greatest Hits. Again. I guess it will help the new people.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kiwi-high-the-thread.6993/page-7#post-482794
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the original War on Juno https://kiwifarms.net/threads/connors-official-juno-ending-debate-thread.3799/
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oh yeah, I forgot about this. I CAN HELP VADE I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT https://kiwifarms.net/threads/vade-...-otherkin-tumblrina.5146/page-104#post-386368
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https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-do-i-have-to-offer.5091/

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/suggestion-and-update-thread-connor-autism.5093

lol https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-general-thread.40/page-170#post-340866
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https://kiwifarms.net/threads/a-prompt.4901/
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At this point I got bored, so maybe I'll continue later or something.
 

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Mauvwomyn Shuffleboard said:
One day he came in and mentioned that he had failed the first three tests in his math class (out of four or five) and didn't feel like he was doing to pass the course. He vanished after everyone gave him words of encouragement and/or advice. The next day he came in and announced that he dropped the course (or was considering doing so). He said he'll try again in a couple of semesters though.
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Total seriousness: I had honestly no idea just how fucked up Connor is until reading this. Goddamn.
 
Haha, I almost forgot why he got this thread in the first place.

Kinda off-topic, but what does the banner in the thread title mean?
 
grilledcheesesandwich said:
Haha, I almost forgot why he got this thread in the first place.

Kinda off-topic, but what does the banner in the thread title mean?
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The label is sand nigger for "halal", a Muslim term that indicates one of this forum's fine hunks of meat (i.e. members) is fit for consumption (i.e. relentless mockery).

On another note I've rediscovered old Connor chat logs that aren't really worth their own post, but since I'm posting anyway I'll put them here.
This one is much older than the others, from June of last year. Cwcki members find Connor's WrongPlanet!
 
Seeing Connor's antics, I get the feeling he doesn't want to write as much as he wants to have written something. He just strikes me as someone who wants to go right to where he's a bestselling author without having to go through the hassle of writing anything better than birdcage lining
 
Mauvwomyn Shuffleboard said:
One day he came in and mentioned that he had failed the first three tests in his math class (out of four or five) and didn't feel like he was doing to pass the course. He vanished after everyone gave him words of encouragement and/or advice. The next day he came in and announced that he dropped the course (or was considering doing so). He said he'll try again in a couple of semesters though. I guess shoving bamboo reeds up your ass isn't for everyone. Before anyone asks, he never elaborated on what exactly his math class covered or what he was having trouble with, he just said it was called Beginning Algebra.
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AnOminous said:
How do you fail tard math?
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Sanae Kochiya said:
He got stressed out when he had to solve for an x when there was a 9x.
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From 27 October:
BOLDYSPICY! said:
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/dont-you-png.56134/
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/dont-you2-png.56136/
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/dont-you3-png.56137/
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/dont-you4-png.56138/
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The only logical explanation is that my art predicts the future.
 
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