🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Handsome Pete said:
@Connor Bible:

Writers, even successful writers, are not "celebrities" in any conventional sense. With the possible exception of Salman Rushdie, their lives go on much as they did before their books were published. Michael Chabon does not get mobbed by fans when he goes to the store. His agent and his editor are not constantly pressuring him to win a second Pulitzer or make his books more commercial.

In short, it's nothing like Misery.
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A novel about Connor publishing a book that draws the ire of radical Islam could be entertaining. It would be about a shut in that's forced to finally see the world as they go into hiding. I'm convinced a few dozen Kiwis would give it a read.
 
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I've now finished reading the Connor Bible thread from page one to here and it's surprising how little anything has changed through 478 pages of great advice, chimp outs, and Connor explaining why he couldn't do a lot of things. I think while the thread has kind of followed the same formula the whole way through that Connor is quite an interesting character and I can definitely understand why he's kept around and this thread hasn't been locked yet.

I do kind of want Connor to live a happy life for himself in a way. Nothing he has done is unforgivable, even his comments on women (which were disgusting) and adoption can be excused as angst and a misguided attempt to sound edgy, when he's just being normal he seems to come across as quite a decent guy, albeit awkward and focused on himself. I do have to admit he'd be more endearing if he actually listened to the advice offered on here. Some of it, while repetitive has been genuinely good advice, I feel like I learned a lot from the early stages of this thread. Plus all the Bold Spicy drawings are magnificent!
 
The only things that are certain in life are death, taxes and the cycle of Connor's chimpouts
 
Apparently Connor has been put off posting recently because apparently his posts keep being edited. I'm not sure if he's imagined it or not but that explains his absence.

He's also claimed that he plans to write a complete first draft of Alphaboy this month and to write at least five Pages a day. Considering Connor's track record I'm not completely convinced though I would love to read a completed Alphaboy!
 
Hellblazer said:
It's been about a week. Maybe his parents bought him some tragically better-quality bedsheets.
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We can only hope.
My bet is that he'll come back in another week and pull the whole "I've accepted everything you guys have said! I'm doing better! I wrote X number of pages and I finished my single math course!" And when everyone asks him about these pages he wrote and how well he did in the class, he will, once again, freak the fuck out about how we're all trolls out to hurt his feelings.
 
4Macie said:
We can only hope.
My bet is that he'll come back in another week and pull the whole "I've accepted everything you guys have said! I'm doing better! I wrote X number of pages and I finished my single math course!" And when everyone asks him about these pages he wrote and how well he did in the class, he will, once again, freak the fuck out about how we're all trolls out to hurt his feelings.
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Don't forget threatening suicide and then call the people of this forum "psychopaths"
 
Karen Riley said:
Apparently Connor has been put off posting recently because apparently his posts keep being edited. I'm not sure if he's imagined it or not but that explains his absence.
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He's got to be imagining things. The mods would NEVER gaslight someone by editing their posts.
 
Hellblazer said:
It's been about a week. Maybe his parents bought him some tragically better-quality bedsheets.
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Karen Riley said:
Apparently Connor has been put off posting recently because apparently his posts keep being edited. I'm not sure if he's imagined it or not but that explains his absence.

He's also claimed that he plans to write a complete first draft of Alphaboy this month and to write at least five Pages a day. Considering Connor's track record I'm not completely convinced though I would love to read a completed Alphaboy!
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Actually Connor isn't supposed to come back to the forums until he finishes the writing project I gave him. We both had a long talk (an interview I've yet to upload) and he's damn near done with it...from what he's been telling me.
 
I actually picked three elements he was required to build the story around as a creative exercise. Of course classic Connor still seems to find reasons why he can't work on it like classes and such but he assures me from time to time that he is in fact nearing completion. Honestly I'd just be impressed if he actually pulled it off.
 
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Hey Connor, I heard South Carolina is hit hard with floods at the moment. How bad is it for you? Are classes cancelled? Did you get a day free from helping your grandma go shopping?
 
MysticMisty said:
Hey Connor, I heard South Carolina is hit hard with floods at the moment. How bad is it for you? Are classes cancelled? Did you get a day free from helping your grandma go shopping?
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The only flood effecting Connor's life right now came from him finding shopped nudes of Molly on the internet and a bottle of hand lotion.
 
A male symbol for an avatar? After a shooting. That's in very poor taste.

I haven't gotten any flooding in my part of South Carolina, but I have been getting a good deal of rain. I sincerely apologize to @MasterDisaster for not getting his story request done. I'm on my laptop right now, and the story is saved on my tablet. I do have good news... I am now three chapters and 3,918 words into Alphaboy.
 
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