🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Damn @Connor Bible I can't believe how slow college is taking for you. I mean, its been like 6 years almost since I left college, and here I am!

Seriously you know, you're missing out on so much good shit you could be doing.

And if you'd gotten that Kettlebell, you could have been some sort of captain of a Kettlebell club, inspiring others, getting girls left and right, making yourself rich, and confident, and yet you just sit around, masturbate to Molly pictures, and wheel Grandma out in the real world for fresh air.

And why do you still write? I have yet to even take a stinking gander at Redesigning Eva and Alphaboy, because I don't read much anyway, but there'd be no point in trying to read yours.

Have you even bothered reading my Pokemon Fanfic? Maybe you could ghostwrite the climax for me? I can tell you all about it.
 
so basically its taken almost as long to get a foundation degree as it takes most people to get a bachelors and a masters.

I don't understand how someone who can at least string a sentence together could fail that kind of qualification, unless they put in absolutely no effort, or refuse to follow instructions.

Higher education isn't for everyone I guess.
 
I took a course called Math in Action to fill my gen ed requirement in undergrad (I was a humanities major so I never touched calculus). It was a little bit of everything all around the loose theme of "math applied to real life". Mostly just semi-basic algebra with the occasional bits of game theory thrown in. Sadly, even that bullshit class is probably above Connor's mathematical capabilities.
 
Zeorus said:
I took a course called Math in Action to fill my gen ed requirement in undergrad (I was a humanities major so I never touched calculus). It was a little bit of everything all around the loose theme of "math applied to real life". Mostly just semi-basic algebra with the occasional bits of game theory thrown in. Sadly, even that bullshit class is probably above Connor's mathematical capabilities.
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You'd think a braindead moron like Connor could sleep through all those gen ed classes and still maintain at least a C- average or something. Like seriously, how is he incapable of even accomplishing that, let alone actually setting goals for himself about what he needs to get done on a daily basis? Math can be boring as fuck, but it's doable even for someone who doesn't really like the subject much if the person put enough time, practice and effort into understanding the material and maybe coming out with at least a passing grade or higher. He also has no excuse because with resources like Khan Academy out there, he could have used those to help supplement the material learned in class to help himself out.
 
Depending on the college they usually have options for people who dislike calc. I fucking hated it so I took statistics and advanced statistical analysis for my math requirements.
 
Ruin said:
Depending on the college they usually have options for people who dislike calc. I fucking hated it so I took statistics and advanced statistical analysis for my math requirements.
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I enjoyed the statistics course I took as well a few years back. Some of the same concepts came back in one of the marketing courses I took, so it showed me how important and useful math is to so many other fields of study, especially in finance. Never took calc because it wasn't required, but three math courses were a lot more useful than the fluff they tend to cram into some college curriculum tbh.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
I'm going to be frank, I have my doubts Connor could graduate from a for profit school.
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I second this, considering ITT drops you if you miss class three times and immediately sends your bill to one of those debt collectors that calls you at all hours.
 
Speaking as somebody who can't do math for shit, it can be difficult to get the basics down if you're a slow learner. But, it's far from impossible as long as you have time to dedicate to going over the material, getting a tutor, going to office hours, working over homework problems etc... If Connor has only one class, no job, no productive hobbies, he has more then enough time to dedicate to building up his knowledge of the fundamentals. Unfortunatly that requires effort, and Connor is allergic to effort. He's just straight up not trying and he probably doesn't care if he wastes his parents money doing sub-mediocre work.
 
Connor's issue with his math classes is the same issue he had with his book report, Redesigning Eva, and everything else that's plagued him in life.

He's just fucking lazy. He's probably too lazy to do the necessary homework or even bother trying on the exams. I doubt Connor is as clinically retarded as people paint him to be, but the man's probably so lazy that he wouldn't bother microwaving a corn dog because that'd require him to walk to the refrigerator.

Connor could have someone do all of his college assignments for him and he'd still flunk by virtue of forgetting to submit them or something.
 
I've come to the conclusion that because Connor cannot write or do math problems the only logical reasoning is that he doesn't have hands to write with
 
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