🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Smutley]

I'm pretty sure it's exposed in almost every episode. If Connor was a classic Pokemon fan I'd suggest this is where his redhead and bellybutton fetish comes from.

I've only ever seen him talk about games like Mortal Kombat and GTA. Pokemon might be "too childish" for him since he's a Big Boy who likes Mature Media.

I assume when he says "and typed up a few" he literally means a less than 12.

So I've noticed when Connor goes through these spurts of inactivity 1 of 2 things happens. First, he still lurks places like WrongPlanet and SK Forums, but because he's mad or he remembers we're watching he keeps his mouth shut. The other is he uses any kind of outside world event as a catalyst to a burst of posting.

Connor...

He is still sperging about that movie she will never direct, I am not kidding! "The Princess of Evil", though? Who has ever called Molly Ringwald that?

Connor is already planning Grandma Bibles death and blaming it on the hurricane

Oh he's back into school. Didn't he already take Beginning Algebra, though? Or was it simply remedial math?

 

[AnOminous]

Oh he's back into school. Didn't he already take Beginning Algebra, though? Or was it simply remedial math?
View attachment 130989

How retarded do you have to be not to be taking calculus in college?

 

[chimpburgers]

Just doing 3 credit hours now of the same fucking class you've taken how many times now, Connor? Jesus. I can't even keep track anymore, but I think about all those wasted tuition dollars and parents' money have gone into this shit. It's just sad.

 

[Count groudon]

I've only ever seen him talk about games like Mortal Kombat and GTA. Pokemon might be "too childish" for him since he's a Big Boy who likes Mature Media.

I assume when he says "and typed up a few" he literally means a less than 12.
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So I've noticed when Connor goes through these spurts of inactivity 1 of 2 things happens. First, he still lurks places like WrongPlanet and SK Forums, but because he's mad or he remembers we're watching he keeps his mouth shut. The other is he uses any kind of outside world event as a catalyst to a burst of posting.
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Connor...
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He is still sperging about that movie she will never direct, I am not kidding! "The Princess of Evil", though? Who has ever called Molly Ringwald that?
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Connor is already planning Grandma Bibles death and blaming it on the hurricane
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Oh he's back into school. Didn't he already take Beginning Algebra, though? Or was it simply remedial math?
View attachment 130989

If you're so worried about granny bible, get your portly little ass out of your room, get your hands on a generator, and take it to her house or bring her to your house. The generator should provide enough power to fill up her tanks and keep her going, provided you don't seriously hurt yourself trying to hook it up.

 

[Ruin]

Beginning algebra is the class he claimed he passed with a B last semester so it seems that like almost everything else in his life that was a lie. Also Connor is a moron because beginning algebra is literally shit like if X x 3 = 9 then what is the value of X?

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

 

[BatNapalm]

How exceptional do you have to be not to be taking calculus in college?

TBF it's not a required class for all majors. College Algebra (or whatever comes after Beginning Algebra, I don't remember) usually satisfies the math requirement for most gen eds. And earlier in the thread, didn't he also lie about quitting college?

Beginning algebra is the class he claimed he passed with a B last semester so it seems that like almost everything else in his life that was a lie. Also Connor is a moron because beginning algebra is literally shit like if X x 3 = 9 then what is the value of X?

Funny, I wouldn't be surprised if he said that exact same thing in the semester before that. I can't be fucked to go back and search through the old posts in this 600+ page thread, but I'm going to venture a guess that he's failed that same class at least 3 times now. Any other takers?

Also, I think Connor holds the rare distinction of caring about Molly Ringwald directing a movie more than any human being alive (including Molay herself). In fact, I'm willing to bet that she doesn't even remember saying that in an interview.

 

[AnOminous]

TBF it's not a required class for all majors. College Algebra (or whatever comes after Beginning Algebra, I don't remember) usually satisfies the math requirement for most gen eds. And earlier in the thread, didn't he also lie about quitting college?

Why the fuck would you bother going to college to learn the bare minimum of dumbness?

I don't think you really get to call yourself even educated without at least a minimal grasp of math.

 

[Silver]

Yeah, it does. I'm only going to be tackling Beginning Algebra next semester. My brain isn't wired for math like everyone else. If I take it with another course, I'd freak out.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/connor-bible.7044/page-381#post-883678
August 5, 2015.

How

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Connor's brain isn't wired for anything except being a fat, lazy, traitorous edge lord who jerks off to bellybuttons.

 

[DN 420]

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Spoiler: Oh my god

 

[ToroidalBoat]

didn't he also lie about quitting college

I don't think he quit, but he'll take a semester off because one class a semester gets "too stressful."

How

Seems that Connor repeatedly fails any math class he takes. When he says he struggles at math, he really struggles at it.

At least he thinks he's an aspiring writer, not an aspiring mathematician.

 

[puzzlemasterPandora]

You know, I read through this whole thread a while ago, back when it was around 520 pages. I had a lot of hope for Connor, y'know? I figured he couldn't be a spastic for a whole 500 hundred pages.
How was I so fucking wrong.

 

[Owen Grady]

I'm pretty sure it's exposed in almost every episode. If Connor was a classic Pokemon fan I'd suggest this is where his redhead and bellybutton fetish comes from.

I've only ever seen him talk about games like Mortal Kombat and GTA. Pokemon might be "too childish" for him since he's a Big Boy who likes Mature Media.

@Smutley I think you're right:

Unfortunately, I didn't read much of the Pokémon stuff. I never saw the appeal of the franchise, even as a kid.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/connor-bible.7044/page-254#post-623952

Connor repeatedly fails any math class he takes. When he says he struggles at math, he really struggles at it.

At least he thinks he's an aspiring writer, not an aspiring mathematician.

I don't think Connor really "struggles" with math so to speak. He's too lazy for that. It's more like he just lays there and lets it fuck him. Repeatedly.

 

[BatNapalm]

I don't think Connor really "struggles" with math so to speak. He's too lazy for that. It's more like he just lays there and lets it fuck him. Repeatedly.

What's really astounding is that even someone with no real grasp of logic, mathematical or otherwise, can still probably be efficient at algebra just by seeing example problems on the chalkboard, writing down the steps, and redoing the exact same problems over and over again. And when similar problems pop up on an exam, they look like the exact same problems but with different numbers plugged in. Granted, this kind of defeats the purpose of algebra to begin with (i.e. being taught basic problem solving) but it'll make a dumb-dumb pass.

But what the hell am I saying? He probably just daydreams about Molly Ringwald during lectures, doesn't work problems on his own to actually get some idea of what the fuck is going on, and is subsequently baffled as to why his innate genius fails to manifest on midterms day.

 

[MysticMisty]

I've only ever seen him talk about games like Mortal Kombat and GTA. Pokemon might be "too childish" for him since he's a Big Boy who likes Mature Media.

I was thinking of when Connor was a child, long before he hit his edgy phase. Pokemon the anime would've been more appealing than Pokemon the game anyhow because there's no way Connor has the patience to select teams and level them up.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

Either he's really taking the same class over and over or he's a terrible liar.

 

[Bob's Axe]

There has to be something cheaper than college to act as a daycare for your useless spawn. Fuck why don't his parents just get him a dishwashing job. At least they wouldn't be wasting money for Connor to fail algebra most people learn in middle school. They can't really believe he's going to amount to anything at this point can they?

I mean I could understand if he was their only child, but they got a much more successful one so...

 

[facepalm]

There has to be something cheaper than college to act as a daycare for your useless spawn. Fuck why don't his parents just get him a dishwashing job. At least they wouldn't be wasting money for Connor to fail algebra most people learn in middle school. They can't really believe he's going to amount to anything at this point can they?

I mean I could understand if he was their only child, but they got a much more successful one so...

There are plenty of businesses that hire tards like Connor. Provides great tax breaks. He could even daydream about Molly Ringwald for most of his shifts.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

select teams and level them up

Reminds me of that Connor and Pokemon parody many pages ago.

He could even daydream about Molly Ringwald for most of his shifts.

Connor would probably get fired for slacking off on the job.