🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%

  • Total voters
    961
Already late to the party but fuck it.

I'm not going to be on here long

You shouldn't be on here at all.
Guys, I want to ask you all something.

Is the @Molly Ringwald on this site real? Seriously. She can't be, because using her name on this site wouldn't be good for PR. It would make her look bad.

Yeah, and Tom Cruise is a Scientologist. Famous people are into weird shit, too.
Yes. There's no way it can be her. It wouldn't be in her best interests to use this site.

Yours neither.
I received a message from @Luna informing me that it was a fake.

Because I'm sure Luna sent you a private message instead of saying it here specifically so you could post it publicly. While you're in the sharing mood, care to send me the account numbers from your parents' bank accounts?
Her only son is a little kid, not even four or five.

Why do you know this?
 
If you're so sure Molly isn't real then why do you keep coming here asking about it as though part of you still thinks she is real? Like, come on.

Even though he knows it isn't real, his autism doesn't allow him to risk pissing off The Real Molly Ringwald if he's wrong and she isn't.
 
Even though he knows it isn't real, his autism doesn't allow him to risk pissing off The Real Molly Ringwald if he's wrong and she isn't.

Let's be honest, he's probably still pissy over the fact that she's actually aged and doesn't look the same way she did 30 years ago.
 
Let's be honest, he's probably still pissy over the fact that she's actually aged and doesn't look the same way she did 30 years ago.

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Connor, from the moment I even realized there was a "Molly Ringwald" account, I knew it was the real deal.

One big thing you and I share is being fans of hers (of course, for me, not as insane creepily as you are). Instead of just skepting around, and not believing it, like you did, I did the sensible fan thing and told her "thanks for being an important part of 80s history" since that is my big thing.

Have you ever even seen her on the Facts of Life? I totally had episodes of that playing at work the other day.
 
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