🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
@Connor Bible The best way to write is to write about something you know; I'm pretty sure there's an untapped market out there for books about people who sit at home all day pissing away the time, waiting for fortune to come knocking on their door with a solution to all their easily solvable problems.
 
  1. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/6/6844.jpg?1440611980 A moment ago Mulligan:
    Connor is an enigma
  2. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/6/6495.jpg?1438183213 A moment ago Fallensaint:
    @ @Mulligan, Connor is an enema
 
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To tell you the truth, I never really wanted to be a writer for fortune and glory. I merely wanted to tell entertaining stories that also had substance.
 
@Connor Bible

I think a good story you could consider writing is a story about a retard, an autist, and a lazy manchild trapped on a boat in the middle of an ocean interacting with each other but the plot twist will be that they were all actually the inner thoughts of a guy named Connor who was in a coma.

The story would go something like this. Please give me your honest critique Connor. You're free to use this idea!

It happened out of nowhere; none of them knew how they ended up in this situation or even who they were. In the middle of the Pacific ocean, there were three people trapped on a boat with nothing but 3 paddles. One man was clearly retarded, flailing around and murmuring to himself nonsensical words like "BLARRGGHHHH" and "HUBDUHDUBDUH" as he tried to eat his paddle. Another was clearly autistic, just staring at the paddle, inspecting it and deeply analyzing it for no good reason. One man was just lazy and refused to do anything, leaving his paddle off to the side as years of being sexually frustrated and solitary have jaded him; he didn't care if he died on this boat because he was already dead inside.

The retard realized fairly quickly that he needed to take charge as the autist and the manchild weren't going to. The retard looked at them both and smiled and asked them "WATTTURRRR NAMEEEEESSSS?" The lazy manchild simply murmured to himself, "I'm Connor..." while the autist said very eloquently "My name is Connor Bible, I am a college student, I was born in 1992, I suffer from erectile dysfunction and I have an obsession with Molly Ringwald and in 2012 I went to-" the retard interrupted him and blurted out "WOW COOL MY NAME IS COHHHHNNURRRR TOOOOOO LETSSS BEEE FREIENDSSS!" All three suddenly sensed a familiarity with each other and their journey began.
 
Bones said:
Because it looks like an easier job than you know. An actual Job. Plus he can do it from home
Click to expand...

Parents HATE Him! Local Chubby Sperg in Throes of Arrested Development Discovers One Weird Trick to Make THOUSANDS of Dumb Ratings from the Comfort of His Home!!! Click HERE to Find Out How You Can Too!!
 
Connor Bible said:
To tell you the truth, I never really wanted to be a writer for fortune and glory. I merely wanted to tell entertaining stories that also had substance.
Click to expand...
So why does it take you 7 years to write 10 pages?

Oh wait because you're lazy. Stop flattering yourself. At least people who write for money actually finish what they started.
 
You know that one anime with the whiny kid that has daddy issues? Yet he still has something likable about him. That's who Connor wants to be. He strives to be this boy. He needs to be this boy. But here's the good part @Connor Bible , you will never be this boy. You are a grown man, you can get a good job, you should be more like Brian over Shinji.
 
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