Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[Philosophy Phil]

"Yes I did something illegal, but you weren't supposed to tell; also I'm Jesus."

 

[Flying Whale]

I was having a great time reading it until the whole "heal, cleanse and clear" of Barb's sins.

 

[Furry killer]

You can clearly see that Chris has gone thru a few pages of the bible while stuck in jail. It did not at all reinforce his god complex, not one bit.

 

[Aqua Panda]

Everyone is talking about Chris hoping for an insanity plea while I'm just picturing the cult of Chris going to 14 Branchland Court every Julay 30th akin to the pilgrimage to Mecca.

You joke, but when Chris does eventually get out there could be the beginnings of a full blown Cult saga with this...

Some weens would worship him as though he were a God.

 

[greenvector36]

Bible 2, The Dimensional Merge Edition

I'd imagine you could copy-paste the passage for Sodom and Gomorrah without much trouble

 

[Michael Janke]

You can clearly see that Chris has gone thru a few pages of the bible while stuck in jail. It did not at all reinforce his god complex, not one bit.

he obviously either memorized a specific chapter, or sought that specific chapter out.
no way could he read that far into the bible this fast.

 

[ANobody]

Jesus is a tarded time traveling troon from Virginia, i dont know about you guys but we never touched that in sunday school

 

[Jack the Nigga]

He didn't apologise for shit and his excuses for raping barb are gross sounding.
also WTF is with the comparisons to Jesus?

 

[Furry killer]

This is.... more delusional than I think Chris has the ability to fake. This has the ring of legitimate psychotic break about it. The sudden appearance of religious delusion in a person not previously known to be significantly religious is a bad sign in psychiatry.

Or it just means that he got a hold of a bible and for the first time ever really read one whole chapter.

 

[draggs]

Ralph has to be the Leviathan in the Revelations of Sonichu, right?

 

[Arocyt]

Way to go, Chris.
Try your damndest to act your way into that insanity plea.
They've never dealt with inmates claiming to be Jesus before, you got this shit in the bag.

 

[Zilch]

What did Chris mean when he was ranting off about adultery and Barbera's regrets? Is he trying to say that she cucked Bob? And this relates to him needing to sexually heal his mother? This place needs a dedicated tard translator

He's probably talking about fucking Barb. "Adultery" is more comfortable for Chris to admit than incest.

 

[Lil]

right when I’m telling myself “oh I’m over this, I’m done, I’m never checking another update on Chris again” I find out that Null didn’t pass Chris’ vibe check.

 

[Golly]

You'd think Chris's mad allegiance to his fictional characters, Angelica (allegedly an extremely devout Catholic) being among them, would have helped prevent this brand of madness.
But of course that's not what any of this was about. It's only ever been about fuzzy wuzzies over prickly wicklies.

 

[Thumb Butler]

I was having a great time reading it until the whole "heal, cleanse and clear" of Barb's sins.

He healed her real good, didn't he?

 

[a dinosaur]

So, it's safe to say that the only thing Chris is allowed to read is the Bible... and he's already writing self-insert fanfiction about it. Cool.

 

[Baloney Face]

(signed) Chris Chan Sonichu

Chris' married name. Mrs Sonichu.

I don't remember Jesus getting jailed by the Romans for fucking his mom.

Smoeone here please come up with a Passover Plot style conspiracy theory for this.

 

[MrTroll]

Hang in there, Chris.

Literally, hang yourself in jail.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I really hope this ends with Chris being crucified.

Degenerates like Chris belong on a cross.

 

[SaintChristopher69]

Uncanny.