UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Cassius Crayfish]

I reserve the right to point out funny/silly stuff in the bible.

Yep, God made us with a sense of humour for a reason, and one of those reasons is that it can make us ask questions that end up leading us to learn something.

Hard to go past "Go up, you baldhead!" for me, although Peter "throwing himself into the sea" while the other disciples just row the fishing boat back to where Jesus is would be up there too. Also when Elijah tells the priests of Baal to just cry out to him harder, as he may be using the toilet.

 

[teriyakiburns]

We celebrate Christmas on a particular day because no-one knows the exact date he was born, so they selected it based on a old tradition that prominent persons were conceived and died on the same date. From the date of Passover in the estimated year of Jesus death they concluded he died on 25th March, so therefore adding nine months of gestation would come to 25th December, and that's as good as any date.

The fact that it just happens to coincide with the winter feasts of saturnalia and jul is entirely coincidental and definitely not the outcome of a syncretistic process that allowed very important people to maintain their existing social calendar after conversion to the new faith.

Hard to go past "Go up, you baldhead!" for me.

BEARS FOR YOU!

But enough of that. Who else is surprised that Labour's attempts to negotiate a settlement and stop the doctors' strike has completely failed?

 

[Clem Fandango]

Ezekiel 23:20: "She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey’s and emissions like those of a horse."

I don't remember our vicar ever covering this bit.

 

[BongoMongo]

Ezekiel 23:20: "She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey’s and emissions like those of a horse."

I don't remember our vicar ever covering this bit.

In our church that was kept for the altar boys...

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

-drum kit

My cousin bought my first kid one for their 2nd birthday. Next year was one of those toddler karaoke mics with weird reverb settings. After that it was paints. Then Lego.

I’ve always hated my cousin. And after all this shit, she never had kids of her own so I could repay the favour. Pure evil.

Art supplies are always a good bet for the younger ones. Nowadays they tend to make them washable, which is a shame, but it’s still not easy to get a 500ml pot of paint out of the sofa cushions, nor is it a simple task to wash felt tip doodles from the new fancy wallpaper and carpet. Stickers turn up in hair and flooring for years, and you’ll never ever EVER get all the spilt glitter up. Like real Christmas tree needles, you’ll be finding bits in the carpet a decade later.

 

[BongoMongo]

I once sent an ex, who did something reprehensible to me, a jiffy bag stuffed with 3lb of pink glitter. I wrapped it up REAL GOOD with tons of sellotape so he would have had to get in there with scissors to open it (kackhandedly, and with no patience,as he was wont to do).

Apparently it went ducking everywhere. All over the place. He was furious and cos I did it anonymously he had no idea who did it. Dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubricated, and all that.

 

[Botchy Galoop]

My cousin bought my first kid one for their 2nd birthday. Next year was one of those toddler karaoke mics with weird reverb settings. After that it was paints. Then Lego.

I was the first child born amongst my parents set of friends, and as such, I was a bit of a spoiled pet. For my fourth birthday Mom and Dad planned a birthday party and let it slip that they were going to give me a kitten. All their friends were invited to celebrate.

I remember that birthday well. Each present I opened was some sort of animal. A canary and cage. A hamster. A lizard. A bowl of goldfish. I didn't understand at the time why Mum was so very quiet, and my Da was beside himself with laughter. I was delighted.

It was the following year that musical instruments were my presents. To this day, the sound of a badly played violin makes my mum weep and shake uncontrollably.

addendum: All surplus animals were ethically rehomed and the kitten lived until I was in my 20's.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Wireless Festival, which was hosting Kanye West for all three nights, has been cancelled by the Home Office.

Wireless Festival has been cancelled after the Government blocked Kanye West from entering the UK

"Wireless Festival is cancelled and refunds will be issued to all ticket holders. As with every Wireless Festival, multiple stakeholders were consulted in advance of booking YE and no concerns were highlighted at the time.

"Antisemitism in all its forms is abhorrent, and we recognise the real and personal impact these issues have had. As YE said today, he acknowledges that words alone are not enough, and in spite of this still hopes to be given the opportunity to begin a conversation with the Jewish community in the UK"

It's worth mentioning that Pepsi's social media team were commenting on Ye's profile with supportive comments when he was first announced, but the company soon changed their tune, and other sponsors began to pull out.

Keir Starmer says Kanye West "should have never been invited" to headline Wireless Festival
"This Government stands firmly with the Jewish community, and we will not stop in our fight to confront and defeat the poison of antisemitism. We will always take the action necessary to protect the public and uphold our values"

Remember Starmer let El-Fattah into the country as well

 

[Clem Fandango]

Can't stop tens of thousands of boat wogs arriving every week.

CAN stop this one rapper from appearing at a UK festival once every ten years.

Thank you soooo much Mr Starmer.

Edit:

Maybe we could tell him that one or two antisemites might be making their way across the channel on those dinghies?

 

[Amin Yasister]

I see BBC3 are showing two episodes of the series "Muslim Matchmaker" tonight.

Surely it cannot take a whole 30 minute episode from when the presenter starts with the introduction"Say hello to your cousin"?

 

[Elysian]

Hey guys, welcome back to another edition of "Awful Presents"! Where we review all the worst gifts that you can give to children whose parents you hate!

Next time get them THE GOOSE

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I see BBC3 are showing two episodes of the series "Muslim Matchmaker" tonight.

Surely it cannot take a whole 30 minute episode from when the presenter starts with the introduction"Say hello to your cousin"?

They have to decide which cousin. Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad or Muhammad Muhammad.

 

[Otterly]

glitter

There’s an episode of peppa pig where miss gazelle is strong armed into using glitter and she gets it out, reluctantly, from a safe in the classroom and holds it like it’s a vial of toxic waste. It always makes me laugh.

 

[BongoMongo]

I moved to where I live the start of October and we had another power cut today, making a total of 4 in little over 6 months.

Something is obviously amiss so I contacted the support line for our power grid, and they refused to tell me the underlying causes of them,they just parroted the information on their website about the status of the repair, estimated time of fix, which is helpful but I already knew that as it was on their website.

Is asking for the reason why so unreasonable? If there's an ongoing problem (which there clearly is) with our infrastructure, why can't they just tell a person who asks them that?

Does anyone know how the fuck to get a straight answer to a direct question out of an organization?

Also, @Otterly, was it not yourself who said goose eggs taste great because eating the spawn of an apex predator is so satisfying? Of so,thank you because I have added this line to my repertoire of banter and had some LOLs from that.

 

[Muppetstudios]

Keir Starmer getting dunked on by Ethan Ralph.

"You should be kang of that country with a majority that big if you wanna know the truth about it"


X

Suffa Keir!

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Play dough or anything similarly messy that is impossible to get out of carpet.

Play dough tastes nice though.

smell the most vile ozone type shit

And the scaletrix smell was nice too.

Keir Starmer getting dunked on by Ethan Ralph.

Completely enthralled by jewish interests? Is that why he continues to import people who are explicitly and violently against jewish people?

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Does anyone know how the fuck to get a straight answer to a direct question out of an organization?

"Hello, yes please? Is this electric peoples? I have problems, yes. Power goes out often and we need lights to pray for religion of brown smelly people who shit often, yes, very much often. Please give me answers for my ancestors be happiness. If not, you are racist bairnchud bloody bastards. Please no be bastard bairnchud, yes, be good peoples thank you please".

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Does anyone know how the fuck to get a straight answer to a direct question out of an organization?

Funnily enough, most organisations have the policy of "You can say whatever private information you want if your life is in direct danger, just as long as you report it immediately"

Now doing that would be a silly idea, but every now and again when I'm wasting an afternoon trying to get information and going from Sanjeep to Panchuk I can't help but feel like fedposting.

 

[Amin Yasister]

Joey Barton charged with GBH With Intent. Remanded in Custody until his trial is scheduled to start in FIVE months time.

Whereas Hollie Dance (and her thug son Tom Summers) both get convicted of GBH with intent on 1st April, and both let loose on society until their sentencing on 31st May.

Note both Hollie and Tom have been convicted of GBH in the past (Hollie twice) so like Barton, it's not their first rodeo.

 

[Otterly]

You can say whatever private information you want if your life is in direct danger, just as long as you report it immediately

Hilariously, or not, I’ve actually had this training at work. If we send you somewhere and you get threatened with death or injury unless you do x or y here is how to not get in trouble afterwards…
Like, thank you I suppose but I’d rather not be in that position to begin with and I don’t think the resulting paperwork if I ever do is really my responsibility