UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Brumbletroons]

I think a part of it is their approach to the absurd and the concept of farce. Maybe ego gets in the way or something but a lot of American actors seem unable or unwilling to entertain it. We know Americans themselves are completely capable of producing examples of farce and absurd, even witty humour, but it's also like they can't convey it without some meta-veneer of the people involved knowing how stupid the situation is. The actors themselves crank up the hammy acting, or the scene includes a straight man to remark on it—the joke can't exist without some need from the writer/director/actor to let the viewer know they know it's stupid. Key and Peele has some genuinely funny sketches but it's seldom that the joke goes by without another character referencing the ridiculousness of the situation.

Not to detract from the meningitis discussion but if you want a good example of American sketch shows directly inspired by and evoking the style of Monty Python and other British comedy staples then you're missing out not checking out Whitest Kids You Know.
Relevant to Britain:

Relevant to current Geopolitics:

Check out other Trevor Moore sketches as well, RIP lost too soon.

 

[Gas Snake]

On one hand, I'm happy the UK didn't get pulled into another war in the middle east (yet), on the other hand I'm upset it could make Starmer and Labour look good plus I also feel it would have been wise to send in token support to avoid offending America.

Kier would never do anything to upset China.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Not to detract from the meningitis discussion but if you want a good example of American sketch shows directly inspired by and evoking the style of Monty Python and other British comedy staples then you're missing out not checking out Whitest Kids You Know.
Relevant to Britain:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UWQoK506xkQRelevant to current Geopolitics:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nCP3LZoxABsCheck out other Trevor Moore sketches as well, RIP lost too soon.

One of the funniest shows ever. You could tell they were all anons. Shame the movies they later made sucked. TWKYW movie was just a bad teen sex comedy and the horror stuff is as bland as possible and full of woke garbage. I miss them calling for race wars.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

the joke can't exist without some need from the writer/director/actor to let the viewer know they know it's stupid.

I'd argue that Allo Allo managed the whole "one straight man in a stupid world" thing quite well. Rene constantly tells the audience directly how stupid the situation is and comments on the absurdity. I think it works here though because it's treated like eldritch knowledge not fit for mankind.

Then there's a bunch of others that aren't entirely surreal but very funny like

I would add The Venture Bros to that list as well. It's so much funnier if you've seen any of the old Hanna Barbera cartoons.

Does any one fancy a watch along thread?

Yes. Seems like fun, what have you got in mind as a first?

 

[Shining Wit]

Big up superspreader Kent, we were the origin of Delta strain Covid too. It's surreal hearing the shithole nightclubs of the my youth be mentioned in parliament, maybe they'll talk about Amadeus next

 

[teriyakiburns]

I would add The Venture Bros to that list as well. It's so much funnier if you've seen any of the old Hanna Barbera cartoons.

"My father was a super scientist, his father was a super scientist, and his father- no, wait, I think he was a milliner..."

 

[BongoMongo]

This is a little off topic so apologies, but does anyone have any experience of getting decent strength melatonin in the UK please? My sleep has gone to shit the last few weeks and I'm currently doing 12 hour night shifts on about 4-5 broken hours kip.

I wear ear plugs and an eye mask and have a really good mattress and pillows (I splurged on a hypnos one last year) and have never struggled before. I've visibly aged and have more white hair sneaking in and I feel like shit. It's getting to me.

 

[The Ghost of Sergei Witte]

it could make Starmer and Labour look good plus I also feel it would have been wise to send in token support to avoid offending America.

The simple reality is, whomever is at the reigns, it's a good thing we haven't been pulled into this absolute quagmire. The alternative that BAMEdenoch or Farage sends our White boys to die for Israel in any capacity should be condemned at every level. They have shown who they are who they are subservient to.

The American Empire and it's interests are not our interests. What point is a special relationship where we are simply a dressed up gimp on a leash for the US? A glorified Air Strip One? If anything we should be hoping that showing the American Empire has no clothes in this conflict that we are made freer by it.

 

[>IMPLYING]

Not to detract from the meningitis discussion but if you want a good example of American sketch shows directly inspired by and evoking the style of Monty Python and other British comedy staples then you're missing out not checking out Whitest Kids You Know.
Relevant to Britain:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UWQoK506xkQRelevant to current Geopolitics:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nCP3LZoxABsCheck out other Trevor Moore sketches as well, RIP lost too soon.

This is one of my favourites.

"Can't blame a guy for trying!"

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

This is a little off topic so apologies, but does anyone have any experience of getting gold strength melatonin in the UK please? My sleep has gone to shit the last few weeks and I'm currently doing 12 hour night shifts on about 4-5 broken hours kip.

I wear ear plugs and an eye mask and have a really good mattress and pillows (I splurged on a hypnos one last year) and have never struggled before. I've visibly aged and have more white hair sneaking in and I feel like shit. It's getting to me.

I use valerian root (nytol 385mg packets, get the stuff without anything else in) and take one or two (700ishmg). I hadn't felt 'sleepy' in eight years but once I took it (with a cup of Peace pukka tea) I was out within an hour, yawning and sleepy. It does give me insanely vivid, high def dreams but other than that you will be out like a light. I read some trials that gave pregnant women and children 600mg+ and they were all fine so I assume its fine to take more than one a night

 

[Vesperus]

I am retarded and I can't quite word what I'm trying to say

I'm pretty sure it's " This is retarded", you just need to apply it to the right person.

It’s Labour’s “job to show the British people whose side we're on."
- You've done that, that's why you are unpopular.

- "We cannot talk about earning a settlement if we keep moving the goal posts, because moving the goal post undermines our sense of fair play."
- You're still doing it.

I don't understand how anyone unironically supports them at this point, I assume it must be brain damage.

As an aside:

Labour’s “running out of time” with its “very survival at stake” as populism rises

It's always annoyed me that "populism" is somehow a threat to "democracy", when it's basically the same word with Latin roots instead of Greek. It's like saying canines are a threat to hounds.
I'm off to yell at some clouds.

 

[BongoMongo]

I use valerian root (nytol 385mg packets, get the stuff without anything else in) and take one or two (700ishmg). I hadn't felt 'sleepy' in eight years but once I took it (with a cup of Peace pukka tea) I was out within an hour, yawning and sleepy. It does give me insanely vivid, high def dreams but other than that you will be out like a light. I read some trials that gave pregnant women and children 600mg+ and they were all fine so I assume its fine to take more than one a night

Thank you,that's useful to know. To be honest I'll try anything at this point. I've used melatonin in the past when I lived abroad and it's brilliant but the laws on buying it here are cucked. But, any port in a storm,right?

 

[Ly Erg]

On one hand, I'm happy the UK didn't get pulled into another war in the middle east (yet), on the other hand I'm upset it could make Starmer and Labour look good plus I also feel it would have been wise to send in token support to avoid offending America.

We don't need to support America in everything they do and we certainly don't need to add more problems to what we are dealing with domestically. The UK should stop wagging it's tail towards the US and Israel when ever they start shit. It's so far the only thing that Starmer has done right so far during his entire time being Labour leader and PM.

I'll bet Farage or Kami would of sent us into the forever war post haste.

I would add The Venture Bros to that list as well. It's so much funnier if you've seen any of the old Hanna Barbera cartoons.

Great show. One of the few shows where every season is a hit.

"My father was a super scientist, his father was a super scientist, and his father- no, wait, I think he was a milliner..."

"As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You have succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino."

This is a little off topic so apologies, but does anyone have any experience of getting decent strength melatonin in the UK please? My sleep has gone to shit the last few weeks and I'm currently doing 12 hour night shifts on about 4-5 broken hours kip.

I wear ear plugs and an eye mask and have a really good mattress and pillows (I splurged on a hypnos one last year) and have never struggled before. I've visibly aged and have more white hair sneaking in and I feel like shit. It's getting to me.

Getting melatonin is a hassle and you will have to go through hoops to get anything related to it. If you have any sort of mental or learning disorder, that will help speed things up a bit but overall you will be fighting a long battle.

Now I used to take melatonin but I stopped once I realised I can sort of hypnotize myself into getting tired when I'm listening to the sounds of waterfalls, deep water pipes, fans and such. Maybe try that?

 

[ApeBass]

Thank you,that's useful to know. To be honest I'll try anything at this point. I've used melatonin in the past when I lived abroad and it's brilliant but the laws on buying it here are cucked. But, any port in a storm,right?

Have you tried a white noise machine or a weighted blanket? Ever since I developed really bad insomnia in my second pregnancy I sleep under a sheet and a weighted blanket. Nytol didn't work very well for me, I could only use it one or two nights a week as I built up a tolerance too quickly.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Yes. Seems like fun, what have you got in mind as a first?

Starting with Brass eye might be fun.

Literally me with biscuits.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

I've used melatonin in the past when I lived abroad and it's brilliant but the laws on buying it here are cucked

If you don't mind technically breaking the law, you can get it cheaply from many online pharmacies that ask you self prescribe. A friend and I got roids that way during uni.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Only the news sources that OFCOM don't agree with so don't expect the likes of the BBC to get it's due

It's even worse than usual at the moment

https://archive.ph/wPuba

Lisa Nandy vows to give BBC permanent charter to prevent political interference

The government is to put the BBC’s charter on a permanent footing for the first time, after the corporation said the change was needed to protect it from political interference.
In a significant change to the governance of the BBC, the culture secretary, Lisa Nandy, said she wanted to grant the corporation’s demand for a permanent charter. She said she wanted to protect it from repeated “culture war” attacks.

BBC executives had argued that the current system in which the broadcaster’s charter had to be renewed every 10 years created a rolling existential threat. That threat has become more acute with the rise of Reform UK, an arch critic of the BBC that has vowed to end the licence fee.
Speaking at the Society of Editors conference in London, Nandy said the BBC was “one of the two most important institutions in our country”, alongside the NHS.
“While the terms, the structures and the funding for the BBC will continue to be negotiated every several years, we should seek to end the bizarre situation where if the charter isn’t agreed in time, the BBC ceases to exist,” Nandy said. “The truth is we would not accept this for the NHS and we should not accept it for the BBC. This is about protecting the BBC – and everything that it represents – for the long term for all of us.
“We will act to future-proof this vital institution in these stormy times when public debate feels more toxic and polarised than ever and too often the BBC becomes a lightning rod for the ongoing, exhausting culture wars.”
It marks a significant win for the BBC and the outgoing director general, Tim Davie, who had been arguing for the change.
The BBC called for a permanent charter as part of its first official response to the government talks on the renewal of its current charter, which expires at the end of 2027. The BBC also demanded the end of political appointments to its board, which Nandy did not comment on.
Nandy also said she wanted the BBC to face greater accountability, both from licence fee payers and its own staff, though she did not set out how this would work.
“We intend to strengthen the accountability of the leadership of the BBC – not to politicians, but to the people it serves in every nation and region,” she said. “This will include commissioning power, not just programming, moving much closer to people, stronger and more streamlined internal accountability, so that staff can hold their leadership to account.”
The idea of a permanent charter was raised last year by the former BBC News chief James Harding. He said protecting the BBC was crucial with the prospect of Nigel Farage entering government at the next election.
He used a keynote speech last year to say it would be “recklessly complacent” to believe that Reform would not pursue attempts to defund publicly backed media, as Donald Trump has done in the US.
BBC insiders say the current 10-year charter creates a “recurring threat to the BBC’s existence, uncertainty and the potential for political interference”. They point to other institutions, such as the Bank of England, that have a permanent charter.

They're going to buy their propaganda outlet's survival with the tax payer's money while they still can.

 

[BongoMongo]

If you don't mind technically breaking the law, you can get it cheaply from many online pharmacies that ask you self prescribe. A friend and I got roids that way during uni.

I mean some laws make sense. Murder with malicious intent and not for self defence? Bad, pls do not be doing this. Arson? Also bad. But obtaining a safe, proven, non addictive sleeping aid which will make your life demonstrably better? No,citizen, this is haram apparently.

It's ridiculous. My old GPs go to for everything was antidepressants and I absolutely loathe the dependency of the medical profession on these.

@ApeBass, I've looked into weighted blankets. Are they very warm, in your experience? I wouldn't want one that's top hot on me but I'm willing to give one a go for sure.

I've no idea where this has come from but I'll pick up some nytol and shuffle my routine about a little tomorrow morning and see if that helps at all.

 

[Fun Factory]

Key and Peele has some genuinely funny sketches but it's seldom that the joke goes by without another character referencing the ridiculousness of the situation.

'The guy who had to follow MLK' is possibly the worst example of this, with Key literally saying 'I can't follow that!' before floundering desperately for two minutes or so. 'Show, don't tell' is evergreen advice for a reason. That said, this isn't exclusive to our American cousins, Inside No. 9 suffered from the same thing, in particular 'La Couchette' where after having made it quite clear he is the killer, the killer then ostentatiously monologues words to the effect of 'hello, I'm the killer'.

 

[Otterly]

If the UK wanted to build a world leading AI centre (which you aren't doing for £500,000), they should do it in Britain.

I hear they’re building one in Doncaster, that’ll be a graft too…

melatonin

I wouldn’t use it long term, there’s some work implying it can cause cardiac issues.
Valerian works ok, chamomile/lemon balm tea as well. Don’t take sleeping pills outside of ‘I just had a serious trauma and require two days of being knocked senseless’ because they’re all addictive , muck up sleep architecture and all develop tolerance fast.
Insomnia sucks. I’m a terrible sleeper. I couldn’t sleep last night because my feet were cold.
Cold shower in the morning and a hot one before bed then get in and keep warm.