UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

There was a new sign up called Our village or My village or something to those ends. I suspect it was MiW but obviously I can't prove it.

 

[Overly Serious]

@Chunky Salsa You didn't tell us you'd had the police round.

0:56

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Honestly I hate to go against the grain but the US has had a bunch of pretty fucking surreal comedies over the years, definitely different from say, UK surrealism but some pretty nice shows.

• Wonder Showzen is amazing and incredibly dark
• Xavier Renegade Angel is a hilarious fever dream
• The Eric Andre Show is fucking strange show.
• Space Ghost Coast To Coast is pretty much a case study in how you can create so much uncomfortable humour in the least frames possible.
• Get A Life is a pretty good semi-surrealist show about some fucking failure to launch guy who lives with his parents and keeps getting into ridiculous situations
• Drawn Together is probably the darkest cartoon I have ever seen and up there with Monkey Dust for pushing the bar and then jumping over it.

Then there's a bunch of others that aren't entirely surreal but very funny like

• The Dilbert Show
• Cow and Chicken
• Freakazoid
• Rocko's Modern Life
• Catdog
• Mike Tyson Mysteries
• Community
• Smiling Friends
• Black Dynamite
• Animaniacs
• Twilight Zone
• The Gumby Show

In fact their output post 2000 is comfortably better than the UK, mainly because we don't fucking fund comedies or have any timeslots on terrestrial TV for them.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Wonder Showzen is amazing and incredibly dark

Loved Wonder Showzen. I should rewatch it again. There's a few good edgy muppet series and movies. I wish there were more.

Cow and Chicken

Very fucking Surreal

Rocko's Modern Life

Was Surreal

In fact their output post 2000 is comfortably better than the UK, mainly because we don't fucking fund comedies or have any timeslots on terrestrial TV for them.

I watched I, claudius this week. It was fucking spectacula. Despite looking like a doctor who episode it has me engaged the whole way through. And now we get Bear Grylls telling black morbidly obese lesbians to kiss and make up (todays episode of Wild reckoning was literally that)

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

Drawn Together is up there for me as one of the most edgy shows imaginable. The stuff they had to put in the original edit to let the stuff pass was apparently insanely dark. A show ahead of its years.
Wonder Showzen was just incredible, I hum the slaves' song now and then.

Only Sunny in Philadelphia is fantastic.
Boondocks - timeless
The Office US - a meme machine and my go-to feel-good show
Scrubs season 1-8
Aqua Teen Hunger Force - just weird
Smiling Friends - just silly but always funny
Haha you clowns - one of the weirdest animations I have seen, it's very wholesome but just so odd.

 

[Mound Dweller]

@Kwisatz00/@Made In Wales get in here, RVTVRN to us, claim the mantle, you are VALID, you are SEEN.

Honestly I hate to go against the grain but the US has had a bunch of pretty fucking surreal comedies over the years, definitely different from say, UK surrealism but some pretty nice shows.

I would contest that they don't really count as much, at least in the same way, yeah Renegade Angel is top tier wtfism but it's only ever been a subdued subcurrent of a subculture, whereas Fawlty Towers and Thick Of It and the like are more canonical in popular memory here than the Bible. Considering the size comparison their output just isn't what it ought to be.

 

[Kwisatz00]

While I am not British, I do have soft spot for its humour.
Maybe a bit more contemporary, I thoroughly enjoy Garth Marengi's Darkplace.

 

[Mound Dweller]

While I am not British, I do have soft spot for its humour.

You don't feel like writing out a quick 10,000 word essay on the inevitability of Nigel Farage's endsieg? awwww.
It's okay, we'll find him eventually, the harvest is inevitable.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Honestly I hate to go against the grain

Gosh, is that even allowed?

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I forgot drawn together existed, I watched five minutes of it nearly 20 years ago and always intended to go back. Now it's what I will put on while I eat dinner. Disney princess is my new waifu, but that 12 year old with a donkey would have been if only..

Does any one fancy a watch along thread? We'll find something British (With a B) and watch an episode every few days or once a week together. Talk about it. Write erotic fanfiction and argue who should be having incestous relationships with each other.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

I watched the whole thing a few months back, autists online were convinced it dropped off after Season 1 but honestly it was a fun watchalong until the end, even if characters became a little flanderised.

I forgot how visceral it was to hear someone say "tranny" in a TV show and caught everyone I was watching it so off guard they were in tears of laughter.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

"Britain will also give £500,000 to fund an AI centre of excellence in Kyiv."

So that's another half a million of our taxes just given to Ukraine for no good reason. An "AI centre of excellence" in Kiev. Excuse me... 'kyeevf'. Let me just re-locate my sides. See, I told you we did High Comedy better than anybody else.

Isn't that going to immediately go up in smoke from the regular fucking drone strikes on keev?

The meningitis outbreak has been declared a "national incident" with the first case now reported in London. Health chiefs say the meningitis crisis in Kent is a "once in a generation outbreak". The NHS has escalated the outbreak to a national incident due to the "unprecedented explosion" of infections over one weekend.
A baby girl is the first London case of meningitis B and is currently being treated in intensive care at Evelina Children’s Hospital. She is from Kent and fell ill on March 4 - just days before a cluster of cases emerged in Canterbury. Her parents told KentOnline they had not been in Canterbury before their daughter fell ill, though it was confirmed this afternoon that she has the same meningitis B strain linked to the outbreak. Her condition is stable, but she is due to undergo surgeries described as "life-changing".

 

[evrae]

Isn't that going to immediately go up in smoke from the regular fucking drone strikes on keev?

The meningitis outbreak has been declared a "national incident" with the first case now reported in London. Health chiefs say the meningitis crisis in Kent is a "once in a generation outbreak". The NHS has escalated the outbreak to a national incident due to the "unprecedented explosion" of infections over one weekend.
A baby girl is the first London case of meningitis B and is currently being treated in intensive care at Evelina Children’s Hospital. She is from Kent and fell ill on March 4 - just days before a cluster of cases emerged in Canterbury. Her parents told KentOnline they had not been in Canterbury before their daughter fell ill, though it was confirmed this afternoon that she has the same meningitis B strain linked to the outbreak. Her condition is stable, but she is due to undergo surgeries described as "life-changing".

Probably has been spreading around in the background. It's fairly easy to lineage trace diseases now. Hell, I did it as part of my degree.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Probably has been spreading around in the background. It's fairly easy to lineage trace diseases now. Hell, I did it as part of my degree.

I'm seeing a few RW grifter types talking about the 'meningitis belt', odds on the outbreak coming from our diverse population? If it has been spreading around, it's probably like rabies in America where the cause of death is ''heart attack'' or something because no one immediately thinks 'rabies' or bothers to test for it. One of the nurses I know didn't even know about the glass test for rashes for meningitis and sepsis...

Stay safe kiwibros, it's £200 to get a vaccine privately.

 

[Overly Serious]

Isn't that going to immediately go up in smoke from the regular fucking drone strikes on keev?

Not at all. For a start, you presume that the cool half-mil gets turned into an actual factory. By the time everyone involved has gotten their cut, it'll be lucky if there's enough left to buy an empty server rack. Recall that Ukraine was the most corrupt country in Europe for a long time before the war. The Biden administration literally vetoed a bill to audit where their money was going and Hungary recently impounded a fucking van filled with bank notes and gold that, for some reason instead of bank transfers, was being driven across their country to Ukraine.

In the unlikely event it does all get finished, it'll be a couple of years after the war has frozen by that point. This is graft for somebody. If the UK wanted to build a world leading AI centre (which you aren't doing for £500,000), they should do it in Britain.

Isn't that going to immediately go up in smoke from the regular fucking drone strikes on keev?

The meningitis outbreak has been declared a "national incident" with the first case now reported in London. Health chiefs say the meningitis crisis in Kent is a "once in a generation outbreak". The NHS has escalated the outbreak to a national incident due to the "unprecedented explosion" of infections over one weekend.
A baby girl is the first London case of meningitis B and is currently being treated in intensive care at Evelina Children’s Hospital. She is from Kent and fell ill on March 4 - just days before a cluster of cases emerged in Canterbury. Her parents told KentOnline they had not been in Canterbury before their daughter fell ill, though it was confirmed this afternoon that she has the same meningitis B strain linked to the outbreak. Her condition is stable, but she is due to undergo surgeries described as "life-changing".

Watch this get buried by the BBC if it's traced to an illegal immigrant or refugee.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

The meningitis outbreak has been declared a "national incident" with the first case now reported in London.

2 weeks to flatten the curve

 

[teriyakiburns]

Hungary recently impounded a fucking van filled with bank notes and gold that, for some reason instead of bank transfers, was being driven across their country to Ukraine.

Central banks still have to transfer bullion and physical cash between one another despite all the digital gubbins that was supposed to make it obsolete. What Hungary seized was a regular transfer from Austria to Ukraine's central bank, which Hungary itself had previously provided security for. They even displayed the certificates of transfer it when they showed off what they'd seized.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Happy 2019 pages to all those who celebrate 'carl benjamin got horse shit thrown on him' day.

I have nothing for the British comedy shit because that implies paying the bbc extortion fee and I would rather pay for a lawyer than those faggots. Inbetweeners will forever be my favourite show from when I did watch tv at least.

Stay safe kiwibros, it's £200 to get a vaccine privately.

I don't even fucking know what I have honestly. Maybe I have a meningitis vaccine, maybe it's measles, maybe it's mumps, maybe it's malaria, maybe it's a malamute. I don't know because I don't fill my brain with the names of extinct third world diseases that I should never interact with in my entire life.

 

[Mound Dweller]

I don't even fucking know what I have honestly.

Me neither bro, I've been to a few thirdiestans courtesy of questionably cheap family holidays so I think I'm covered for everything, but you never know these days what with Pneumonic Geordie Gonorrhoea/Liverpudlian Acquired Chlamydia and the like going around. Not that we should really need it, not interacting with dirty foreigners is just solid advice and ought to be more commonplace.

 

[Snackbarism]

Isn't that going to immediately go up in smoke from the regular fucking drone strikes on keev?

The meningitis outbreak has been declared a "national incident" with the first case now reported in London. Health chiefs say the meningitis crisis in Kent is a "once in a generation outbreak". The NHS has escalated the outbreak to a national incident due to the "unprecedented explosion" of infections over one weekend.
A baby girl is the first London case of meningitis B and is currently being treated in intensive care at Evelina Children’s Hospital. She is from Kent and fell ill on March 4 - just days before a cluster of cases emerged in Canterbury. Her parents told KentOnline they had not been in Canterbury before their daughter fell ill, though it was confirmed this afternoon that she has the same meningitis B strain linked to the outbreak. Her condition is stable, but she is due to undergo surgeries described as "life-changing".

Is anyone surprised at this point? Just look at what's coming off those rubber boats, scabies and other prehistoric ailments somehow coming back to life in the country.