UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Airstrip One]

So lads, I think I've figured out a fix for the ballooning care sector costs crisis and the pension crisis in one fell swoop.

When I'm Prime Minister I'm going to roll back all the anti-smoking shit that has ever happened. You can smoke in pubs again, smoking advertisements can run again etc.

Get everyone smoking and drinking again so Betty (97) is a rarity because instead she's had a major stroke at 58, and became quadraspazzed until her death 2 years later. If you don't like smoking you can simply not smoke, but it'd cull off so many people at once.

EDIT: And I'd roll back the sugar tax too. Obsese people don't make it to pension age.

The end of the nanny state is going to run tandem with the collapse of society in the UK. Everyone has their poison. I will give up sugar when Mossad ant drones pry it, one granule at a time, from my cold dead hands.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

View attachment 8664860

What a fucking stud making the best UK entry to the Eurovision... Ever...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=niMKvJ-Itq8

Post irony noise ballwashing the Germans.

More Eurovision as ever. Can't wait for the tranny flags to get waved during the live performance and "REFUGEES WELCOME!" as the fire works explode at the end.

The end of the nanny state is going to run tandem with the collapse of society in the UK. Everyone has their poison. I will give up sugar when Mossad ant drones pry it, one granule at a time, from my cold dead hands.

We at the labour party will be enacting the new sugar fairness laws on March 15th. All sugar will be diverted to the most needy and impoverished among us. Too long have rich white men dipped rhubarb in it and added it to their tea. It's time for a fairer society where wogs can lick it off their shitting hands!

 

[teriyakiburns]

View attachment 8664860

What a fucking stud making the best UK entry to the Eurovision... Ever...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=niMKvJ-Itq8

I enjoy that guy's YouTube channel. He makes all sorts of shit out of old hardware and pre-digital telephone exchange parts.

 

[The Green Man]

The nonce killer is dead. Cue everyone calling for his nonce rapist killer to be knighted.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

The nonce killer is dead. Cue everyone calling for his nonce rapist killer to be knighted.

Make all the maximum security prisons into battle royales, quietly execute the winner at the end. Then use them to hold immigrants. Rinse and repeat.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Communities in Sighthill Edinburgh held protests last night against illegal migration. Various unarchived videos here. At least 100 people showed up (pictures look like more to me) and over 50 police officers were dispatched; a small (numbers unknown) counter protest from Hope not Hate took place nearby

• Hundreds gathered for an anti-immigration protest at Sighthill in Calders, Edinburgh
• •It followed an incident on Monday in which two people were injured
• •Mustafa Kokoneh, 23, appeared in private at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on Wednesday, where he faced eight separate charges after viral misinformation spread surrounding the incident

The protesters, who said they were demonstrating against illegal immigration, are rpoerted to have decried Police Scotland and both the Scottish and UK Governments outside Cobbinshaw House.

The anti-immigration protesters shouted “stop the boats” and other slogans before marching through the streets to St Nicholas Parish Church, a few streets away, where a small group of counter-protesters held a demonstration.

A large number of Police Scotland officers were deployed, who kept the two groups separate, and no incidents of physical violence between them appeared to have taken place.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

The correct response is to beat him into a vegetable, and when he recovers, beat the fucker again.

No, it's to leave him quadraspazzed on a lifeglug.

Prison guard standards have not dropped. This is the exact type of thing that happens when you decide to let it happen. They know. They have snitches and friends on the opposite side of the bar. And they had to go get a jaffa cake 2 minutes before it was going to happen.

Screws have to deal with so much shit from all the pakis ect that they probably like that they can actually treat white like human beings without them doing stupid nigger shit all the time. Don't get me wrong, prisoners are criminals ect but pakis and muslims are supposed to be really bad for forming gangs on the inside and radicalising each other.
Half the time the screws come from the same background as some of the inmates and have a fair bit in common.

Something serious is going on in UK prisons and I wonder if we're close to a full scale riot/prison escape.

Somthing somthing wouldn't dare if Thatcher was in charge. Genuinely though TTK is too spineless to restore order in prisons by any means necessary. It's still quite funny to hear prisoners riot in a prison, take it over then complain when they get beaten by Special Forces.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

The nonce killer is dead. Cue everyone calling for his nonce rapist killer to be knighted.

The guy who battered him is a triple murderer and one of his victims was pregnant. He's in prison for being a piece of shit, just like Ian Cuntley.

His injuries include a missing left eye and a fractured skull. He is /was missing both bollocks and half his dick from a previous attack.

 

[Clem Fandango]

View attachment 8664860

What a fucking stud making the best UK entry to the Eurovision... Ever...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=niMKvJ-Itq8

Actually pretty catchy, I've been humming it around the house this morning. Still don't fancy our chances of winning the competition though.

Post irony noise ballwashing the Germans.

Ah lighten up you stuffy git.

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

Communities in Sighthill Edinburgh held protests last night against illegal migration. Various unarchived videos here. At least 100 people showed up (pictures look like more to me) and over 50 police officers were dispatched; a small (numbers unknown) counter protest from Hope not Hate took place nearby
View attachment 8666407View attachment 8666408
View attachment 8666410View attachment 8666411

Told you this would start to get the jocks riled up. Stabbings like that don't happen up here.
Also 50 cops is a lot for Polis Scotland to send. I doubt they can keep numbers like that up when they're already deploying to protests in Falkirk, Dundee, Perth and Aberdeen. They only have 16,000 officers total for the entire country, the Met has 32,000 and while London has twice the population size of Scotland it's tiny in comparison. If this keeps up they'll quickly stretch themselves thin.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

At least 100 people showed up (pictures look like more to me) and over 50 police officers were dispatched; a small (numbers unknown) counter protest from Hope not Hate took place nearby

Note that the counter protestors never attend without police support.
I know why it is, as soon as counter protestors are present the odds of violence goes up. But it's pretty blatant the police are protecting one group.

Speaking of here's Shabana writing for the Guardian. The article is nothing but a thinly veiled, "we're not really going to stop infinite migrants, we're going to make it easier for them. But we need to look like that's not what we are doing."

https://archive.ph/LVFmE

"More Labour.” These two words sprang from the postmortem into last week’s Gorton and Denton byelection loss. But what do they mean when applied to what this government does, not least in the contested politics of migration?
To answer that, we have to understand what the Labour party really is, because at its best it is a broad church. My party was born as a union of newly industrialised, working-class communities and radical social reformers. Added to that mix came those like my family. Immigrant communities came to this country in search of better lives and found their political home in the Labour party.

Different though these groups may be, they are united by a set of values firmly within the mainstream. Three stand above all others. First, a belief in fairness: recognising that the dice are loaded against working-class communities. Second, tolerance towards others, that very British desire to live and let live. Third, a quiet but determined patriotism, for a country that is forever changing while something ineffable always endures.
Apply that to migration and you find yourself at neither extreme. It demands an approach that is fair to those willing and able to contribute to our national life, but also a pace and scale of migration that does not pressure existing communities and further stretch public services. It means offering sanctuary to those fleeing danger, but restoring control and bearing down on those who abuse our asylum system.
In short, it is neither the nightmare of Nigel Farage’s borders, in effect closed, nor the Greens’ fairytale of borders that would in effect be open. Neither is it the system we have today, which is why reform is desperately required. In the four years to the 2024 general election, this country experienced levels of migration not seen in more than four decades. Net migration hit 2.5 million people. It wasn’t only the scale, but the nature and pace of change. After the Conservatives dropped visa requirements, this country experienced the largest and fastest expansion in low-skilled migration in its history. Visa routes were loosened without safeguards. Large numbers of people arrived without clear pathways into skilled work.
We have already begun restoring control, with net migration falling by 70% since we took office. But there is more to do to make levels sustainable. We must also ensure that those who stay for good are contributing to our national life. Settlement and citizenship should be earned; contribution and integration expected.
For that reason, we will lift the qualifying period for settlement from five years to 10, and impose new conditions – a clean criminal record, sustained economic contribution and a good command of English. Those who contribute the most, such as doctors, nurses and high-earners, will have a faster path to settlement.
Those who contribute less will have to wait longer to apply. This includes those low-skilled workers, who arrived in recent years, who would otherwise receive immediate access to welfare and social housing. Should that be allowed to happen, this cost would be borne by hard-working taxpayers across the country, and place yet more pressure on already stretched public services.
Britain has a proud history of offering sanctuary to those fleeing danger. But today our asylum system fuels criminal gangs that profit from a vile trade in human beings. Hundreds of thousands of people have crossed by small boats. And at the end of December 2025, there were more than 100,000 individuals in receipt of asylum support, costing the taxpayer billions each year.
We will always offer sanctuary to genuine refugees – but only for as long as they need our protection, and not as an automatic, permanent right to remain unless they have transferred to a work or study visa. We must move away from a system that encourages illegal and unsafe routes, towards one built around safe and legal asylum. For that reason, I will be opening new safe and legal routes, starting this autumn by taking applications from students seeking asylum in this country.
At the same time, we must bear down on the illegal trade of human beings across the Channel. That means strengthening international partnerships, removing those with no right to be here, closing loopholes used to frustrate legitimate returns and using diplomatic levers to ensure other countries accept their citizens back. Our failure to deal with illegal migration erodes public confidence in having an asylum system at all. A lack of control breeds fear, and fearful people turn inwards. Patriotism becomes something smaller and darker. Our vision of a Greater Britain narrows to that of a Little England.
Meanwhile, the state’s failure to deal with so visible a problem damages trust in its ability to deliver anything at all. It is the creed of the Labour party that the state can and must be a force for good. Restoring order at our border is not just an embodiment of Labour values – it is the necessary condition for a Labour government to do anything at all.
To be “more Labour” is neither to pull up the drawbridge, nor to throw open our borders. It is to create a migration system that protects the persecuted, ensures those like my parents can seek a new life here, and commands the confidence of the people this party was created to serve.

 

[teriyakiburns]

The article is nothing but a thinly veiled, "we're not really going to stop infinite migrants, we're going to make it easier for them. But we need to look like that's not what we are doing."

That's Labour cooked, then.

edit: This one got a laugh out of me.

Locked door made 'incel' teen give up Southport copycat massacre plan

tl;dr retarded (probably immigrant) kid wants to murder children, can't get out of his house, calls police to confess.

They illustrated "incels" with the following picture:



Unconsciously broadcasting the real problem to the world by showing brown hands?

e2: THe real issue here is an obviously mentally unstable kid is being referred to PREVENT rather than a mental health service. It's no wonder he went completely round the twist.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

Locked door made 'incel' teen give up Southport copycat massacre plan

tl;dr retarded (probably immigrant) kid wants to murder children, can't get out of his house, calls police to confess.

They illustrated "incels" with the following picture:

View attachment 8666533

Unconsciously broadcasting the real problem to the world by showing brown hands?

e2: THe real issue here is an obviously mentally unstable kid is being referred to PREVENT rather than a mental health service. It's no wonder he went completely round the twist.

Heh, this made me strangely nostalgic for the case of Nicky Reilly (or 'Mohammad Rashid Said-Alimbe', as he liked to be known), another radicalised spastic prevented from causing a mass casualty terror event by the slide-bolt on a toilet door, that I remember reading about on Encyclopedia Dramatica back in the 2000s.

Hurrrrr How I Unlooked Doer? How I Unlook Door? Deeeeeer!!

 

[>IMPLYING]

View attachment 8664860

What a fucking stud making the best UK entry to the Eurovision... Ever...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=niMKvJ-Itq8

If another country gets invaded and we lose again because of it I'm gonna be pissed off—I don't even like Eurovision.

 

[teriyakiburns]

If another country gets invaded and we lose again because of it I'm gonna be pissed off—I don't even like Eurovision.

It's been shite since Wogan died. He was the only thing making it bearable to watch.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

They should bury Huntley in the prison grounds like they used to do with those who were hanged. Of course they'll just cremate him and throw the ashes in the sea though.

Just watch as the prison service fucks up again and he's accidentally given a full state funeral with honours.

 

[Overly Serious]

It's been shite since Wogan died. He was the only thing making it bearable to watch.

The year that Ukraine got invaded I planned to put £200 on them to win. I hadn't listened to their song, didn't plan to watch the show. I also do not gamble online or off. I was just that confident they'd win for political reasons.

As it happened, some unexpected events that day prevented me from going to a bookies and asking how to place a bet. Unfortunate as of course they won. IIRC, I could have got something like 3 to 1. I might even have put £500 on even though the total amount I have ever bet in my life is probably < £5.

Eurovision is all about the politics.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Ah lighten up you stuffy git.

I would like to celebrate my culture and my people. Not to say other people's languages are better than ours.

I know I'm a terrible person for liking English and thinking it's better than German.

If another country gets invaded and we lose again because of it I'm gonna be pissed off—I don't even like Eurovision.

UK getting involved with Trump and Iran will have already tanked it. And that's if Israel isn't rigging it yet again.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

And that's if Israel isn't rigging it yet again.

I don't think Israel rigged it, I just think a decent chunk of Europe is absolutely sick of the student activist pro-Palestine lot but can't publicly say it because they'd get shit on for advocating GENOCIDE.

So they just sit patiently and wait for something like Eurovision to cast their vote to make their voice heard.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I don't think Israel rigged it, I just think a decent chunk of Europe is absolutely sick of the student activist pro-Palestine lot but can't publicly say it because they'd get shit on for advocating GENOCIDE.

So they just sit patiently and wait for something like Eurovision to cast their vote to make their voice heard.

There was a big scandal a while back about Israely intelligence trying to rig Eurovision.