UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Personally, I hope he makes it through, just so someone else can have a go at 'Pin the knife in the Huntley'.

Not worth archiving but Ian Huntley’s life support SHUT OFF leaving monster hours from death with his mum at bedside after brutal jail beating I don't think you can survive having your life support shut off.

forgive me the sun was the most recent article heres a mirror one too

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Also who the fuck writes a 47 page document and expects it to be read? That's a book at that point.

A majority of government employees so they can hide the bit that says, "the general public get fucked in the arse by a career dog rapist, without lube, and pay for the privilege" on page 36.

 

[HairyBadger]

Rumours are that two lifers have forced alex rudukoonbananaeater to drink bleach.

This needs to be stopped. Rudukoon is entitled serve his sentence as a normal inmate.

The correct response is to beat him into a vegetable, and when he recovers, beat the fucker again.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

The correct response is to beat him into a vegetable, and when he recovers, beat the fucker again.

You can survive drinking bleach. Though with incredibly severe results that will make your life much worse than being unable to walk but without the bliss of a lobotomy.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

The way I see it, if we had a death penalty then Huntley should have got it and that'd be the end of that.

While I'm not going to shed a tear about his impending death, it's incredibly fucked up that more and more high profile prisoners are being killed in prison, especially when they didn't recieve aa death sentence. Yeah, there's no reforming him. Yeah, he probably shouldn't ever get out... but there's something really sinister about how the standards of prison guards have dropped to where these incidents are happening more frequently.

Remember, this is a government that hates you and wants people like you to die. What if they sent you to prison in the hope that SOMETHING happened?

 

[Kofi Drinka]

BBC presenter says he doesn't feel safe in London any more. After 2 men mugged up for an 8 grand watch..

Who the fuck has an 8 grand watch and isn't smart enough to realize London is not a safe place to show £100 phone let alone a watch.

Prison guard standards have not dropped. This is the exact type of thing that happens when you decide to let it happen. They know. They have snitches and friends on the opposite side of the bar. And they had to go get a jaffa cake 2 minutes before it was going to happen.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

it's incredibly fucked up that more and more high profile prisoners are being killed in prison, especially when they didn't recieve aa death sentence. Yeah, there's no reforming him. Yeah, he probably shouldn't ever get out... but there's something really sinister about how the standards of prison guards have dropped to where these incidents are happening more frequently.

Incredibly dark to think about, especially as judges will dump White protestors in prisons full of Muslims gangs.
The high profile killings (Huntley) are only the ones we know about. Given that we never got an answer for all those "accidental releases" I bet there's so much we don't know (including how many female prison officers are fucking male inmates as that video last year showed)
How did El Salvador solve their prison issue? What did they do? I know they just dumped every trouble maker into jail but how are they training staff and keeping order? How do we copy them...

 

[HairyBadger]

BBC presenter says he doesn't feel safe in London any more. After 2 men mugged up for an 8 grand watch..

Who the fuck has an 8 grand watch and isn't smart enough to realize London is not a safe place to show £100 phone let alone a watch.

Prison guard standards have not dropped. This is the exact type of thing that happens when you decide to let it happen. They know. They have snitches and friends on the opposite side of the bar. And they had to go get a jaffa cake 2 minutes before it was going to happen.

He was having dinner with a wealthy friend that was wearing a 100K Patek, which was also stolen .

The spotters were inside the restaurant.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

The high profile killings (Huntley) are only the ones we know about.

If it was just Huntley recently then whatever, high profile prison killings happen but rarely.

But this is just months after Ian Watkins was stabbed to death.

Something serious is going on in UK prisons and I wonder if we're close to a full scale riot/prison escape.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

prison escape

You mean like how that one rapist just fucking walked away? Idk I think escape is the wrong word. Horses do the same shit, if you just put a short fence around a horse field they just stay there, they don't think to jump over it. Most of the time at least. Like pretty much everything in this country it's probably severely understaffed and if a group got together and decided to do something then it'd be fucked.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

That's Ian Huntley clutching on to his final hours of life.

Apparently his eye has been completely destroyed. Load him up with morphine and let him die in peace. I can't get behind wanting someone else to suffer because of what they did. They're the piece of shit, not me.

On the axel rubudubdubthreenigsinatub, I doubt he drank fresh from the bottle Tesco special bleach and more of a concotion of whatever dregs of swill they mixed from the prison shop and bits from cleaning duty.
It was probably a cocktail of shit.

As for his injuries, I saw a documentary years ago about people who survived some right shit. One fella tried committing suicide by drinking bleach and all it did was burn his throat, stomach and intestine. They saved his life by tying what little bits of intestine there was left to his throat. He could still eat pureed food but had to eat often as it took 3 hours from eating it to shitting it out due to lack of digestion time.
If that's happened to woggy, I can't imagine he would last long, even if they tried to help him medically.

Something serious is going on in UK prisons and I wonder if we're close to a full scale riot/prison escape.

It's been a while since the last prison riot, (I checked. 1990 for strangeways, 2016 for a riot in HMP Birmingham and HMP Swaledale a few months later).

 

[>IMPLYING]

So lads, I think I've figured out a fix for the ballooning care sector costs crisis and the pension crisis in one fell swoop.

When I'm Prime Minister I'm going to roll back all the anti-smoking shit that has ever happened. You can smoke in pubs again, smoking advertisements can run again etc.

Get everyone smoking and drinking again so Betty (97) is a rarity because instead she's had a major stroke at 58, and became quadraspazzed until her death 2 years later. If you don't like smoking you can simply not smoke, but it'd cull off so many people at once.

EDIT: And I'd roll back the sugar tax too. Obsese people don't make it to pension age.

We could also allow the smokers to remigrate to Russia and the obese to remigrate to America.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

We could also allow the smokers to remigrate to Russia and the obese to remigrate to America.

I think we should keep our strongest fag enjoyers smh. And the fuel costs to shove the fats onto america would be far too large. Instead we should shove the smokers into idk a farm field or something so that the nictotine smoke can be repurposed for it's natural insecticide properties. The fats should be melted down for oil and turned into glue like horses.

 

[Snackbarism]

They should bury Huntley in the prison grounds like they used to do with those who were hanged. Of course they'll just cremate him and throw the ashes in the sea though.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

RAF Fairford was/is used for the yanks B-1 bomber. Probably picked that base because of the runway/set up due to the yearly air show. (Same place Clarkson first saw the rocket car before Hammond crashed)

 

[>IMPLYING]

I think we should keep our strongest fag enjoyers smh. And the fuel costs to shove the fats onto america would be far too large. Instead we should shove the smokers into idk a farm field or something so that the nictotine smoke can be repurposed for it's natural insecticide properties. The fats should be melted down for oil and turned into glue like horses.

If we put them all into Dover, and have them blow in the direction of Calais, the concentration of smoke will act as a natural hazard, possibly discouraging people from crossing. The obese can form a natural wall on the beach to prevent any of the boats making landfall, and the smoke eventually neutralises them.

Call it the S.O.D-off plan — Smokers & the Obese in Dover.

 

[teriyakiburns]

If we put them all into Dover, and have them blow in the direction of Calais, the concentration of smoke will act as a natural hazard, possibly discouraging people from crossing. The obese can form a natural wall on the beach to prevent any of the boats making landfall, and the smoke eventually neutralises them.

Call it the S.O.D-off plan — Smokers & the Obese in Dover.

Combine it with Colin Furze's "fart at the french" machine and I reckon we'd have a pretty potent solution.

Side note: that video is 11 years old. Look how white everything is. just a single decade. Same video now would be loaded with browns.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

I reckon we'd have a pretty potent solution

Farting and blowing fag smoke at the french is only a 'solution' if your problem is not being able to get the french horny.

Same video now would be loaded with browns.

'Loaded with browns' is not something you want to hear before you get farted on.

 

[>IMPLYING]

Farting and blowing fag smoke at the french is only a 'solution' if your problem is not being able to get the french horny.

Rapey migrants trapped on a beach, ocean behind them, insatiably horny French in front, and with nowhere to run.
It's like the end of the Lion King, except the hyenas rape Scar to death.
Une fin ironique—as the French say.

 

[The Ghost of Sergei Witte]

What a fucking stud making the best UK entry to the Eurovision... Ever...