UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

Otterly · Jan 21, 2026

femboy fart huffer said:
hagos sounds like some sort of parasite you get from licking a dog's ass.

That’s Chagas’ disease and it’s from transmission of parasites by kissing bugs.

femboy fart huffer · Jan 21, 2026

Clem Fandango said:
The idea that there is no sacrifice too great that the British public should endure to protect the sovereignty of Denmark's overseas possessions - especially when we're expected not just to give up our own but to pay for the fucking privilege - is just laughable.

Sending him a letter demanding to be paid in lego sets, no real reason. Just feel like it really. Haven't done any deserving of it but I think that he should just send me lego.

Otterly said:
That’s Chagas’ disease and it’s from transmission of parasites by kissing bugs.

Ahhh that's close enough. Gcse shit I'd get half marks, parasites and kissing something. That's basically a C.

Long and sneaky · Jan 21, 2026

Clem Fandango said:
>giving away actual British overseas territories

Kier sleeps

Don't understand the governments obsession with giving away overseas territories. If the argies hadn't invaded the Falklands we probably would've somehow ended up paying them to take it.
What could they possibly be getting out of it? Is it just the usual uniparty drive to weaken Britain by any means possible?

Eekum Bokum · Jan 21, 2026

Clem Fandango said:
Nah, frankly I really disagree. This whole "won't yield" speech is in response to the 10% tariffs levied by Trump on eight European countries: Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Great Britain, France and Germany and the Netherlands.

My question is: why are we included in that list?

Answer: because Starmer can't keep his fucking mouth shut.

Is Spain being tarriffed? Italy? Greece? No. Well, why can't we just be like those guys? They're Nato members, they're about as involved as we are. But they haven't been slapped with tariffs.

You don't need to support Trump. But you could also just not involve yourself in a situation over which we basically have no say anyway. He's making statements for what? To make pretend that he's one of the big boys on the world stage? We're not, and we haven't been for a long time.

His statement in parliament was:
"I will not yield, Britain will not yield on our principles and values about the future of Greenland under threats of tariffs, and that is my clear position.”

The idea that there is no sacrifice too great that the British public should endure to protect the sovereignty of Denmark's overseas possessions - especially when we're expected not just to give up our own but to pay for the fucking privilege - is just laughable.

Listen I hate the Chagos deal as well but this whole Greenland saga is such a stupid ridiculous occurence that I can't help but give a nod to Kier and Europe in general for making America's admin look completely hysterical over a territory that is already well defended by NATO and America. Will we come out on top after this? of course not we'll get wrecked but it will at least be funny to see Trump and his yes men have another tantrum.

Clem Fandango · Jan 21, 2026

Eekum Bokum said:
Listen I hate the Chagos deal as well but this whole Greenland saga is such a stupid ridiculous occurence that I can't help but give a nod to Kier and Europe in general for making America's admin look completely hysterical over a territory that is already well defended by NATO and America. Will we come out on top after this? of course not we'll get wrecked but it will at least be funny to see Trump and his yes men have another tantrum.

My prediction is - he's going to get it. This is Trump's second term, he doesn't need to worry about re-election, and he really wants his name in those history books. I think it really appeals to him to be remembered as a US president that actually made the USA bigger in terms of territory. There's not been one of those for a while. He's gonna win bigly, etc etc.

Yes, it's an upending of the post war settlement. We thought we all agreed that we weren't going to do this anymore, and that borders were to be frozen, and respected, and voted on by people who live there etc etc. But when you get right down to it, why did we even have eighty years of that? It was only because the US was enforcing it. So to say Greenland was well-defended by Nato, I guess Trump's response would be "yeah, and the US was footing the bill".

To be clear - I think it's a terrible idea. This is going to change everything. All bets are going to be off after this. There will be new alliances, increased militarisation. And of course you can't really have a go at Russia if you're going to do this type of thing. Maybe China gets some ideas about taking some territory. Maybe India.

Basically everything is going to go to shit, all for Trump's
ego. But I don't think this is just a "tantrum". He wants it, but he can get it. And we can't really stop him, no one can. If they're not going to "sell" it (and they're obviously not) then this is the year he's going to take it. Bookmark this post.

Ehhhh, I might be wrong. But I just have a feeling.

Edit:

Oh yeah, sorry I forgot. My point with all of that was: if I'm right and that is the case, then it might be worth just staying out of this one.

Edit2:

So I just looked on the BBC website and he just now dropped the tariffs? I dunno wtf is going on, forget all that.

EddyRooney · Jan 21, 2026

Eekum Bokum said:
Listen I hate the Chagos deal as well but this whole Greenland saga is such a stupid ridiculous occurence that I can't help but give a nod to Kier and Europe in general for making America's admin look completely hysterical over a territory that is already well defended by NATO and America. Will we come out on top after this? of course not we'll get wrecked but it will at least be funny to see Trump and his yes men have another tantrum.

It's a negotiation to get the rare earth minerals. Yes, it is a strategic base, but the real race is now on to secure the means to produce the next wave of technology. Needless to say we're losing to those little yellow devils who are Two Tier's fwends. He's letting them build a nice big new spy house right above where all the lines of communiction are for our financial centres too. As usual the dickhead socialist technocrat is backing the wrong horse in the race. Whatever isn't in our best interest, he's doing it.

Who owns and produces what

femboy fart huffer · Jan 21, 2026

I hope that trump does annex Greenland and I hope that he does the same shit as chinese realtors and spraypaint the grass green but the entire fucking country. I just want Greenland to be a glow in the dark neon green I think that would improve the country.

Duane Dibbley · Jan 21, 2026

the rat said:
4D chess leverage. See, even though we're still paying for them to take a it we made le zonald SEETHE and now we can get him to do things such as:

and:

also not forgetting:

for us!!!!

I think you need to have a talk with your dealer mate cause I don't reckon whatever shit you're smoking is doing any wonders for your brain.

Can you rewrite this post in english and not nigger-reddit internet speak.

Trump won't get Greenland, he doesn't want it I don't think. It's just a distraction from Epstein, the failure to end the Ukraine war and a jangly keys while he screws over his own country and voter base.
I believe the theory that ICE is an excuse to bring in martial law to give senator trumplust another few years in power.

I'm not TDS, I don't give two shits about foreign leaders but I did think trump was doing good for the world by putting out fires and ending wars. Now he's a zog puppet to the MIC and Bush 2.0 without the hilarity.

I eagerly await his "a second plane has hit the tower" and "mission accomplished" moments.

>IMPLYING · Jan 21, 2026

Eekum Bokum said:
Listen I hate the Chagos deal as well but this whole Greenland saga is such a stupid ridiculous occurence that I can't help but give a nod to Kier and Europe in general for making America's admin look completely hysterical over a territory that is already well defended by NATO and America. Will we come out on top after this? of course not we'll get wrecked but it will at least be funny to see Trump and his yes men have another tantrum.

It's all performative. The haranguing, I mean. Like the tariffs the outrage was more to appease political bases rather than a precursor to some sort of retort. They gave Trump what he wanted anyway, apparently, meaning the bitching and moaning moments prior was pointless. It just looks impotent rather than effective. What's the point of being all polite and political, adhering to some unwritten rule of decorum when it just means you do fuck-all. The last 4 years of bloviating about Russia, scowling and making vague allusions of "showing strength and unity" ultimately did nothing.

Think for a sec: what does America lose by having leaders with a shelf-life tutting at him? What does the "respect" of the world even get America? What does it get any country? Ukraine got lots of respect standing up all by their lonesome to Russia. What will that respect get them after 4 years? Loss of land, lives, and mineral rights & other assets to foreign companies.

There's little point in keeping a "respectable" image to the rest of the world if it's at the expense of your own country. You're trying to appease fickle foreigners, half of whom only hear of what's going on in your country via the Chinese whispers of media, and world leaders and politicians who'll be off the scene in less than a decade. There's no point to it.

Clem Fandango · Jan 21, 2026

Duane Dibbley said:
Trump won't get Greenland, he doesn't want it I don't think. It's just a distraction from Epstein, the failure to end the Ukraine war and a jangly keys while he screws over his own country and voter base.
I believe the theory that ICE is an excuse to bring in martial law to give senator trumplust another few years in power.

I thought I had it all figured out. It made sense that if he's going to do it, this is the year to do it.

Then he goes to Davos and says "ah forget it". What the fuck is going on over there? I should just give up trying to make sense of anything.

BongoMongo · Jan 21, 2026

Funny how,with this Greenland shit, nobody is mentioning the Epstein files anymore.

God Almighty people are spastics.

>IMPLYING · Jan 21, 2026

Clem Fandango said:
I thought I had it all figured out. It made sense that if he's going to do it, this is the year to do it.

Then he goes to Davos and says "ah forget it". What the fuck is going on over there? I should just give up trying to make sense of anything.

Trump does Good Cop/Bad Cop but himself playing both roles and it's pretty much worked every time. I legitimately do not understand why people don't get it at this point. We have the pattern recognition to notice the increase in Pakis increases the number of rapes but we haven't noticed Trump keeps highballing with an unreasonable request first just to propose a lower deal later which still results in a net boon anyway?
Trump says ‘framework' reached for future Greenland deal.

Europeans are acting as though they got Trump to stand down and Americans are acting like Europe buckled despite all their talk. Europe looks like it stood up for itself, leaders look "stronger" to the populations for #resisting. America gets a scaled down version of the initial offer which still benefits them. It's a strategy of making both sides feel like they've gained from the deal. Maybe one side gains a little more but ultimately both sides are supposed to leave feeling as though they won.

Trump's "bad cop" is making broad, sweeping insults of nations, but they get diluted as a result since they're not targeted at specific politicians. He goes into good cop mode when complimenting individual world leaders because making sure the people who actually decide shit are on good terms with him because ultimately the seethe of foreigners is just worthless. The only time this has somewhat backfired is with Canada, when he may have got that Liberal dude in charge, but if Canada is a competitor, he basically helped to keep Canada in failure spiral in doing so. They shunned expanding oil operations bordering a country who makes bank exporting oil, they're legit kneecapping themselves to spite Trump, and it's to Trump's benefit.

He does this with trade deals too. The one he signed with Keir was legit win-win, but of course he'll parade it like a great victory and Americans will shit on us (but what else is new). And for Brits it makes Trump look impotent and the leaders who negotiated the deal will appear more competent for handling him (not that anyone outside of Keir-supporters, few they number, think this).

Clem Fandango · Jan 21, 2026

>IMPLYING said:
Trump does Good Cop/Bad Cop but himself playing both roles and it's pretty much worked every time. I legitimately do not understand why people don't get it at this point.

I'm legitimately embarrassed by the sheer proximity of my "he's deffo gonna invade Greenland" posts to his reversal literally minutes later. There's no other option for me other than to just eat shit on this one and keep my head down for a bit.

SIMIΔN · Jan 21, 2026

Jacob Rees-Mogg has torn down and reflected a cabinet minister calling Nigel Farage a fascist.

He makes an especially good point about the centralisation of police forces under Labour and how now the home minister can sack any force leader who isn't a Labour party true believer. JRM does seem to believe the lies about AfD though.

On Political Labels and the Case of Nigel Farage

Lisa Nandy, the Secretary of State for Culture, Media, and Sport, has recently claimed that Nigel Farage is a fascist. Generally speaking, I have always found Lisa Nandy to be one of the more sensible Labour ministers; she is intelligent, capable, and in my limited personal dealings with her, perfectly friendly. I wouldn't dismiss her as a "sour-faced socialist," as that would be neither true nor fair. Therefore, I thought it worth considering what she could possibly mean, whether there is any truth in it, and how such language impacts voters.

What could she mean? I suspect she simply means that Nigel Farage is right-wing. However, fascism and being right-wing are by no means the same thing—just as being left-wing is not the same as being a communist. What communists and fascists truly have in common is far more important than their position on the left-right spectrum: both are collectivist schemes that require a fundamental belief in the state. They believe central direction is superior to individual decision-making and have very little place for democracy. While they may use democracy to obtain power, once they have it, they believe in the good sense of the ruler rather than the good sense of the people.

When you look at Nigel Farage, it is easy to see he is not a fascist. He does not favour identity cards, nor does he support the recording of people staying overnight in hotels—the routine tools fascists use to track and control a population. He is not opposed to jury trials, which take power away from state-directed judges and put it in the hands of individuals. Farage is not even one of those democratic figures who believes a mandate allows one to ride roughshod over individual rights; rather, he has been a consistent believer in and protector of individual liberty throughout his career.

In fact, there are many in both the Conservative and Labour parties who are much more authoritarian than Nigel. In my own party, there has always been a strain of paternalistic authoritarianism that thinks the state knows best. In the Labour Party, now that they are in government, we see a desire to limit trial by jury and introduce digital IDs. We see a push to centralize policing by reducing the number of forces and giving the Home Secretary the power to fire chief constables. If you are looking for authoritarianism in British public life, you should look toward the Home Office, not Nigel Farage.

Nigel campaigned for a referendum on the EU and has consistently called for more referendums. He fundamentally believes in trusting voters to decide how the country is governed. While I might cynically suggest he calls for elections because he expects to win them, the fact remains that he is a democrat. Labour, conversely, seems keen to scrap local elections precisely because they fear they will lose.

Regarding the use of abuse in politics, I wonder if such terms are ever useful. I have never called an opponent a Nazi; that form of abuse usually rebounds on the user. David Lammy, for instance, looked foolish for calling Donald Trump and me Nazis because it is simply too over-the-top. I have, however, used terms like "communist" or "Stalinist." While Stalin likely killed more people than the Nazis, the term "Stalinist" is oddly not viewed with the same level of vitriol. Think of Vince Cable’s famous joke about Gordon Brown moving "from Stalin to Mr. Bean"—it was a powerful, rude line, but it worked because everyone understood the context.

Voters are sensible. They know that when a politician calls someone a "Stalinist," they don't literally mean that person is about to set up gulags. When I say Jeremy Corbyn or Zack Polanski are "heading towards communism," I am communicating that their economic policies would be ruinous, potentially leaving us as poor as Eastern Europe was behind the Iron Curtain. Perhaps, to be fair to Lisa Nandy, this is what she was attempting with Nigel—not a factual claim of fascism, but a critique of his right-wing worldview.

Ultimately, I believe she is wrong. One of the strengths of the Reform Party is that, unlike some parties on the continent, it is not "far-right." We are lucky in this country to have a political spectrum that remains within the bounds of civilized discourse. We do not have the Mussolini-style or Franco-style parties that France and Germany grapple with. By making the fascist comparison, Lisa Nandy has made a blunder. Nigel Farage is not Benito Mussolini; he is a democrat. And that is one of the reasons why, while I may not be a supporter, I remain among his admirers.

UselessRubberKeyboard · Jan 21, 2026

Trump’s just an arsehole. A rich egotistical arsehole who thinks he runs the world, but still an arsehole.

I have no doubt he’ll get Greenland in some way or another because Europe is too shit scared to tell him to fuck off. Also because he needs to be FAMOUS. He’s batshit insane and he does and says whatever he feels like at the time. Russell Greee popping off at the mouth and pen has nothing on old Trumpton. Problem is, people have to take him seriously when he says he stopped two billion people from getting killed, held back the Pacific Ocean and made it rain for months in the Gobi desert. Because he’s president of the US and for some reason, no-one has the brains or balls to ignore the waffling idiot.

Is it illegal to criticise Trump yet?

To change the subject, I am highly offended at my house being used as an example of the north/south divide. I was just airing my loft, you bastards. The sun came out and that doesn’t happen any more than three times a year up here. We get a bit over-enthusiastic when it happens, as you can plainly see.

teriyakiburns · Jan 21, 2026

I want to report that I have tried Iceland's Greggs sausage roll today. It is inferior to the sausage roll sold in Greggs proper. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

>IMPLYING said:
Trump does Good Cop/Bad Cop but himself playing both roles and it's pretty much worked every time. I legitimately do not understand why people don't get it at this point. We have the pattern recognition to notice the increase in Pakis increases the number of rapes but we haven't noticed Trump keeps highballing with an unreasonable request first just propose a lower deal which still results in a net boon anyway?

I has been pointed out to me that the greenland thing possibly stems from NATO wanting to place early warning radars on the island's east coast, to which Denmark objected for some reason. Trump allegedly latched on to this and came in swinging his dick, demanding the entire island, so he could pretend to be talked down to the more reasonable position or just putting radars on the American bases there, along with improving US sonar coverage of the Denmark Strait. It's almost certainly all kayfabe.

Mr Bunny · Jan 21, 2026

teriyakiburns said:
I has been pointed out to me that the greenland thing possibly stems from NATO wanting to place early warning radars on the island's east coast, to which Denmark objected for some reason. Trump allegedly latched on to this and came in swinging his dick, demanding the entire island, so he could pretend to be talked down to the more reasonable position or just putting radars on the American bases there, along with improving US sonar coverage of the Denmark Strait. It's almost certainly all kayfabe.

Trump's negotiation tactic has always been to start off with a position that the other party will flat out say no too and then slowly work down to the position he wanted all a long, because now it looks reasonable in comparison.

Oh and he talked about this in the Art of the Deal. The man has literally given the world a cheat sheet on how to handle him and they still can't handle him.

Snekposter · Jan 22, 2026

Overly Serious said:
Northern children talk like this for reference:

Balls on that kid calling the plods a pair of wank stains. That's hate speech right there. 20 years hard labor.

Otterly · Jan 22, 2026

teriyakiburns said:
has been pointed out to me that the greenland thing possibly stems from NATO wanting to place early warning radars on the island's east coast, to which Denmark objected for some reason. Trump allegedly latched on to this and came in swinging his dick, demanding the entire island, so he could pretend to be talked down to the more reasonable position or just putting radars on the American bases there, along with improving US sonar coverage of the Denmark Strait. It's almost certainly all kayfabe.

This is the right answer, or one of them. The base at fylingdales is part of this relay so maybe we actually can get him to annex Yorkshire and remove Starmer ..
Trump is VERY very good at that type of negotiation where you go in demanding the moon on a stick to great outrage and then ‘settle for less.’ The tariffs are a powerful bargaining tool to do this with.
The problem with mos of our leaders is that nobody says no to them, and they don’t seem to see what anyone in business, or heck anyone with kids can see easily.
- I want you to clean the whole house and mow the lawn
BUT MUUUUUUUUUMMMM!
- well ok just clean your room? That’ll be a start for now
OK (child cleans room.)
Win win

the rat · Jan 22, 2026

Otterly said:
This is the right answer, or one of them. The base at fylingdales is part of this relay so maybe we actually can get him to annex Yorkshire and remove Starmer ..
Trump is VERY very good at that type of negotiation where you go in demanding the moon on a stick to great outrage and then ‘settle for less.’ The tariffs are a powerful bargaining tool to do this with.
The problem with mos of our leaders is that nobody says no to them, and they don’t seem to see what anyone in business, or heck anyone with kids can see easily.
- I want you to clean the whole house and mow the lawn
BUT MUUUUUUUUUMMMM!
- well ok just clean your room? That’ll be a start for now
OK (child cleans room.)
Win win

The educated politicians showing off their education yet again.

Duane Dibbley said:
Can you rewrite this post in english and not nigger-reddit internet speak.

Point is we're the ones footing the bill and yet you're fine with the Chagos thing going through because "le zonald is le seethe" and that somehow it gains us some kind of leverage which I don't really see how? I don't think the US will ultimately do anything if it goes through or not and I don't think they will care enough to do things for us to make us rethink the whole situation so we're fucked regardless unless King Farmer Harmer has an epiphany (he won't).

As for Greenland, sticking up for Evrqpa while our own country is still going into the shit all to posture himself as some kind of grandiose leader with big balls amongst his french fuck buddies and some homosexual wet-wipe who acts as a cum-sock for our beloved The Guardian writers. Frankly? Don't fucking care about some Danish land when shit is so bad here. Sorry, Kieth.

Anyway bro, get a better dealer.

UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

Otterly

Immerse your soul in love

femboy fart huffer

Brapping for Biden since '09

Long and sneaky

Eekum Bokum

Eekum Bokum

Clem Fandango

Can you hear me?

EddyRooney

femboy fart huffer

Brapping for Biden since '09

Duane Dibbley

>IMPLYING

Clem Fandango

Can you hear me?

BongoMongo

>IMPLYING

Clem Fandango

Can you hear me?

SIMIΔN

INTERNET ADDICTION BREAK

On Political Labels and the Case of Nigel Farage

UselessRubberKeyboard

Jet Set Neowilly

teriyakiburns

If anyone tried stealing my pot, I'd wrestle them.

Mr Bunny

I for one welcome the rabbit overlords.

Snekposter

Operation: Desert Snek

Otterly

Immerse your soul in love

the rat

The patterns mason, what do they mean?

UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

Immerse your soul in love

Brapping for Biden since '09

Eekum Bokum

Can you hear me?

Brapping for Biden since '09

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

INTERNET ADDICTION BREAK

On Political Labels and the Case of Nigel Farage​

Jet Set Neowilly

If anyone tried stealing my pot, I'd wrestle them.

I for one welcome the rabbit overlords.

Operation: Desert Snek

Immerse your soul in love

The patterns mason, what do they mean?

On Political Labels and the Case of Nigel Farage