UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

View image on Twitter


pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

btw Chunks theres a new hire working at my local supermarket whos a fucking redheaded dwarf with vitiligo. My soul left my body when he came to ID me at self checkout, so I rescind any accusations that you are a pussy for being afraid of them.

Oh yeah that's gas chamber bait for sure. Fuck that.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

It makes him look hypocritical again (shocker) considering he wants to suck Xi's cock and their biggest ally is *checks notes*

Russia.

 

[CaptainAutism69]

Also Trump has called us brokies lmfao. This Chagos deal is ugly as fuck

Other than 'muh imperialism', what do we gain by this chungus deal? It really seems like treason.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

Other than 'muh imperialism', what do we gain by this chungus deal? It really seems like treason.

Trump implies we just can't afford to keep it; though now Keir Starmer (the poster) brought up China, I wonder if giving away Chagos to Mauritius, an ally of China, is a roundabout way for Keir Starmer (the PM) to suck Xi's tiny oriental wang.

 

[CaptainAutism69]

Trump implies we just can't afford to keep it; though now Keir Starmer (the poster) brought up China, I wonder if giving away Chagos to Mauritius, an ally of China, is a roundabout way for Keir Starmer (the PM) to suck Xi's tiny oriental wang.

Can't afford to keep it, but can afford to pay some nogger govt billions to take it from us?
The tories started this shit, Labour are going down with it... shambles

 

[>IMPLYING]

Oy brits, someone explain to me who the norfs are, is that just a joke image or are there really brits that are huge and dumb like that who are simple?

For American frame of reference: the norfs are the equivalent to deep South hicks or rednecks, but the former have better P.R. but outright contempt was largely absent outside of gentle ribbing on TV, but maybe I've got on some rose-tinted glasses and there's always been that air of pretentiousness and contempt.

Both are identical in origin i.e. educated/wealthier part of the country mocking the less educated/poorer part of the country.

NORF F.C. feels like an ironic creation from NORF F.C. themselves, but I could be wrong. I doubt it's a creation of pure politics because it's actually funny.

"Would it be possible to work out a sustainable farming system that does not put excess nitrates into delicate water systems."
'You bitch, you dumb fucking russia loving bitch. Fuck you.'
"Thank you Mr Prime Minister, next question."

I'd prefer this version of Starmer, but this version is probably Indian and gets tackled all the time by security due to the laser-like red dot on his forehead.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

a fucking redheaded dwarf with vitiligo

So the Leprechaun in appearance then?

Spoiler: Hidden for those terrified by little people

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

theres a new hire working at my local supermarket whos a fucking redheaded dwarf with vitiligo.

God was having fun in the character creator that day.

 

[teriyakiburns]

This Chagos deal is ugly as fuck, is the Bill still in the Lords?

Currently in consideration for amendments from the Lords. The debate yesterday, where a number of amendments were disagreed, seems to indicate that it may have to be sent back to the Lords for further discussion until a single text can be agreed. The minister was full steam ahead on continuing despite multiple objections and references to Trump's rejection of the sale raised in the house. Typical of this government, refusing to listen and barging foward. I suspect (more hope, really) there may be a humiliating climbdown on the horizon.

Or it might just get parliament acted and go to royal assent.

 

[Clem Fandango]

>giving away actual British overseas territories

Kier sleeps

>giving away a big snowy island belonging to some Legoniggers
where no British person lives

Kier WILL NOT YIELD.

Thanks Kier, very cool.

 

[Otterly]

Oh yeah that's gas chamber bait for sure. Fuck that.

Does this extend to animals? Have you seen the toad line bullies?
Are you ok with corgis and daschunds and those adorable little stumpy legged dwarf cats, or is it just humans?
Have you seen the animal breeding horrors thread in community watch?
You’re a fascinating psychological study.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

Does this extend to animals? Have you seen the toad line bullies?
Are you ok with corgis and daschunds and those adorable little stumpy legged dwarf cats, or is it just humans?
Have you seen the animal breeding horrors thread in community watch?
You’re a fascinating psychological study.

Animals are animals. I dislike seeing sick animals though; so I'm not a fan of deformed ones. I just dislike cats in general, Corgis and Daschunds are cute. Monged mutant people though trigger my disgust reflex very strongly. Even things like severe acne have had me do the Homelander stare without realising.

 

[Otterly]

I just dislike cats in general,

No! Why? Cats are great.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

No! Why? Cats are great.

Because dogs are better. Simple as.

 

[Overly Serious]

Oy brits, someone explain to me who the norfs are, is that just a joke image or are there really brits that are huge and dumb like that who are simple?

It goes back a very long way. The Anglo-Saxons populated Great Britain all the way up to Scotland where they decided they either didn't want it or the Scots scared them away with fried Mars Bars (which were invented considerably before most people are aware). But then the Normans came and the Normans didn't spread quite so far. They mainly stayed more Southerly for a good long time and when they did head North set fire to quite a lot of it. To this day there's a considerable language difference between North and South still. Pronounce "grass" with an "ar" sound ('grarse') and you're asking for trouble. You also had the Vikings which did the opposite, starting at the North and not really making it all the way South.

Northern children talk like this for reference:

But it goes far beyond such ancient history. In the Industrial Revolution, a lot of the industry built up in the North where there was plenty of labour and nobody in London minded if the odd child got eaten by an mechanical loom. Similarly there was a lot of coal mining that took place in parts of the North (and Wales). They did get a bit upset at the Northern industrialists making money though, which is why you got the comedy stereotype of the Nouveau Riche which was their conception of the uncultured Northerner coming into wealth. Generally, there's a conception of the South not giving a stuff about the North, though really it's London not giving a stuff about anyone outside of London and their little weekend boltholes.

People think it's hard to say exactly where the North-South divide lies, but it's not. I actually have a photo of it here. The house on the right is on the Northern side of the line.



The general stereotypes are partially summed up by this news report I found for you:

There's even a Northern Independence Party which wants to go back to more along the lines of the old kingdoms of Mercia and Northumbria. Which used to be kind of funny but they seem to have become more serious these days...

https://www.freethenorth.co.uk/

https://archive.md/hIGta

 

[Duane Dibbley]

If you're referring to the Chagos Islands deal it should be cancelled immediately.

Greenland.
I was all for cancelling the chagos island but now it's making trump seethe and can be used as leverage.

 

[Eekum Bokum]

>giving away actual British overseas territories

Kier sleeps

>giving away a big snowy island belonging to some Legoniggers
where no British person lives

Kier WILL NOT YIELD.

Thanks Kier, very cool.

be fair to the idiot, not going along with Trumps latest tantrum is probably the only good thing Kier has done in his life or ever will.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Chagos Islands deal

Chagos sounds like some sort of parasite you get from licking a dog's ass.

"Thank you Mr Prime Minister, next question."

Well there's a reason it's called prime minister question time and not prime minister answer time.

Oh yeah that's gas chamber bait for sure. Fuck that.

I like to headcanon that actually you're just trying to maximise efficiency. No I don't hate midgets I just want to get as many people in the chamber as possible and it's just easier to play nazi tetris with midgets.

or is it just humans?

I do get a similar midget hate feeling for bald animals. Which like, kinda hypocritical but idk I have never actually seen myself, the mirrors and cameras could all be lying. Idk I just see those bald rats and cats and guinea pigs and they look fucking vile, halfway between ballsack and woman with alopecia/cancer treatment. Pet animals should be big and fluffy and soft, their only reason for existing is to be cute and let me fuss them. If they are bald then there's just no reason for them to exist.

People think it's hard to say exactly where the North-South divide lies, but it's not. I actually have a photo of it here. The house on the right is on the Northern side of the line.

I think part of trying to say where the divide is is that the cities in the middle don't feel very norfy but at the same time the outlying villages dont feel very saaaf either. Like if you went to the outskirts of Birmingham it feels kinda northern but the city itself doesn't.

Video is also clearly bullshit too. I have never had anyone say hello to me walking. It's always something else and it's always regional, or at least that specific greeting is heavily heavily altered by the accent. I know for a fact the one I go to subconsciously is local enough to be doxxing.

 

[the rat]

Greenland.
I was all for cancelling the chagos island but now it's making trump seethe and can be used as leverage.

4D chess leverage. See, even though we're still paying for them to take a it we made le zonald SEETHE and now we can get him to do things such as:

and:

also not forgetting:

for us!!!!

I think you need to have a talk with your dealer mate cause I don't reckon whatever shit you're smoking is doing any wonders for your brain.

 

[Clem Fandango]

be fair to the idiot, not going along with Trumps latest tantrum is probably the only good thing Kier has done in his life or ever will.

Nah, frankly I really disagree. This whole "won't yield" speech is in response to the 10% tariffs levied by Trump on eight European countries: Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Great Britain, France and Germany and the Netherlands.

My question is: why are we included in that list?

Answer: because Starmer can't keep his fucking mouth shut.

Is Spain being tarriffed? Italy? Greece? No. Well, why can't we just be like those guys? They're Nato members, they're about as involved as we are. But they haven't been slapped with tariffs.

You don't need to support Trump. But you could also just not involve yourself in a situation over which we basically have no say anyway. He's making statements for what? To make pretend that he's one of the big boys on the world stage? We're not, and we haven't been for a long time.

His statement in parliament was:
"I will not yield, Britain will not yield on our principles and values about the future of Greenland under threats of tariffs, and that is my clear position.”

The idea that there is no sacrifice too great that the British public should endure to protect the sovereignty of Denmark's overseas possessions - especially when we're expected not just to give up our own but to pay for the fucking privilege - is just laughable.