Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".
While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".
One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".
Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."
TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.
"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.
Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."
Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."
"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.
Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".
The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".
It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.
The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.
It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.
The approach to the death penalty is done all wrong. Instead of the ultimate super duper punishment it is thought to be, it should be offered as an alternative to a prison sentence or fine, A bit like how the Canadians have MAID, We could have PAID.
Right on a bit of a tangent here but figured you guys might be able to have a ponder on this thanks to pooled autism.
There's this advert where a student nurse went blind and got her guide dog which is some nice heartwarming story and gives you a nice reason to donate to this guide dog charity etc. But the big question is, if her eyesight declined slightly over time, why exactly is she talking like a complete fucking retard?
I get people with hard of hearing having the weird deaf voice where it's not regulated, but surely being blind doesn't affect how you speak. My gut feeling is that she, like many nursing students of her age, got routinely blitzed every fucking night until she had a seizure from one hangover too many being the last straw for her body. She shows the telltale signs of alcoholic brain damage, and as we all know, drinking heavily will make you go blind.
Maybe I'm just a bastard here but I've never been able to take the advert seriously when it sounds like she's a retard alcoholic who was thankfully blinded before she could graduate and impose her awful decision making process on some helpless patient.
Official Blind Person here...
I hate blind charities and guide dog charities and their adverts with a passion. They always make as if your life is awful and absolutely terrible unless you have a guide dog or that you're going to have a shit life if it wasn't for that particular charity.
It feeds the assumption that blind people are helpless, can only get things done with the help of sighted people, that we can't work, can't lead happy, fulfilling lives, can't get married, have children etc.
I was asked to be in an advert a few years ago, and they were not interested in showing Blind people leading productive lives. They wanted sob stories. Because that's what brings in the money.
Most of these charities don't even employ many Visually Impaired people. They just use us to get more money for their CEO's.
Losing the majority of my sight quickly and unexpectedly was a bit of a shitter, yeah, but it actually changed my life for the better.
I now have 2 businesses that I can run exactly how I like, instead of working for a miserable employer, I have a happy marriage, children who are well behaved (in public!) and are studying well, and I have a good reputation in my industry.
But, according to the charities, because I don't have a guide dog, everything is terrible and I need the kind sighted souls from the public and Da Charrideeez to come and rescue me.
If only there was a way to channel that into a force for good. Sure, British Railways may have the odd bombing if they get put in charge but at least the trains will run on time.
You don't have to be completely blind to be legally and effectively blind. Even Hellen Keller saw, but about as well as if you were stuck in a Scottish moor at midnight under a new moon. Just this messed up haze where she couldn't actually see.
Every day is a school day!
I made a special braille screen.
I've Got to do SOMETHING to fill the time inbetween Archery classes, precision Darts playing and Knife Throwing.
Ok but have you considered dogs do actually make your life better, not any guide dog bullshit labradors are boring as fuck but just like dog good. Even if mine is probably closer to being blind than you are with how fucking retarded she is sometimes.
Most of these blindies use tts. So basically if you do something like #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? it'll probably be really annoying for them. My grandparents were legally blind, it didn't mean they couldn't see shit, it just meant they could not tell the difference between a bottle of milk of bleach and needed a about 5 magnifying glasses and inch thick glasses to read anything.
Ok but have you considered dogs do actually make your life better, not any guide dog bullshit labradors are boring as fuck but just like dog good. Even if mine is probably closer to being blind than you are with how fucking retarded she is sometimes.
Most of these blindies use tts. So basically if you do something like #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? #_L=? it'll probably be really annoying for them. My grandparents were legally blind, it didn't mean they couldn't see shit, it just meant they could not tell the difference between a bottle of milk of bleach and needed a about 5 magnifying glasses and inch thick glasses to read anything.
Yeah we foster animals for a local animal charity (a small local one that is completely volunteer run), and look after them to get them ready for rehoming.
Thought we'd end up keeping loads because we are soft hearted buggers, but so far we just have the 1 dog and 1 cat.
Absolute PL but i once woke up in hospital on a bed with some creature standing over me. He had no ears, completely black eyes, a forked tongue, covered head to toe in tattoos- his entire face was a mottled green and black scale pattern, with sort of American Traditional tattoos and tribal patterns on his arms. I thought I'd died and gone to hell. Turns out I was just in Liverpool A&E and this lizard man was a fucking A&E nurse. He was also deaf and had a cochlear implant so we couldn't communicate that well. Literally terrifying. He was very nice otherwise but I have no idea why a man who had undergone such severe bodily modification was allowed to be working in a patient-facing way with so many unconscious/severely ill people.
Talking of charities I really like St Tigglywinkles : ) I don't really care if they are just taking the money because they once drove all the way 3-4 hours to come pick up some injured baby hedgehogs and sent us photos once they were better and released back into the wild. They are a lot better than the RSPB/RSPCA who just don't give a fuck and are fine to let polacks eat swans
I assume there is a similar service as used for deaf people calling into contact centres for blind people wanting to get online support.
Having worked in a contact centre and getting a nutter on one of those I can tell you there are few things funnier than someone saying, "sorry, but I have to repeat what they have typed. "Fuck you!""
I now have 2 businesses that I can run exactly how I like, instead of working for a miserable employer, I have a happy marriage, children who are well behaved (in public!) and are studying well, and I have a good reputation in my industry.
Yeah we foster animals for a local animal charity (a small local one that is completely volunteer run), and look after them to get them ready for rehoming.
Thought we'd end up keeping loads because we are soft hearted buggers, but so far we just have the 1 dog and 1 cat.
No smoking gun, but I get the feeling I might have been right on the money. Everything tracks for her drinking something of high proof that caused organ shutdown. Doctors also surprisingly baffled about how it happened (read, they don't want to call her a fucking alcoholic retard) and just assume she picked up an infection. God how I'd love to read those internal notes.
Sounds like someone was refilling bottles with moonshine. Not unheard of on your average drinks-included boomer-cruise / 18-25 "finding yourself" shagstavaganza, keeps the costs down.
Of course, a student nurse getting shitfaced on methylated spirits isn't exactly unheard of either.
The UK Home Office's counter terrorism department has added more books to their naughty list
And surprise surprise Tolkien is on it now, the LOTR series is now considered a gateway to right wing extremism by the UK guberment.
"William Shawcross, who investigated the program, wrote that United Kingdom’s Prevent system had three main objectives: “to tackle the causes of radicalisation and respond to the ideological challenge of terrorism, to safeguard and support those at risk of radicalisation through early intervention, identifying them and offering support, and to enable those who have already engaged in terrorism to disengage and rehabilitate.”Initially the program dealt mostly with Islamic terrorism, but in recent years it has shifted focus onto right-wingers. Its definition of “extremism” is extremely disturbing, as well as their theories on what causes “radicalization.” Because J.R.R. Tolkien is not the only author they have determined to be dangerous. He’s in good company. C.S. Lewis. Aldous Huxley. Joseph Conrad. Even George Orwell and his “1984.” All the best British people are on this list. Reading these wise and skilled writers identifies those reading as “those at risk of radicalisation.”
Carry on Brits, no doubt the bobbies will be by shortly to confiscate your forbidden books! Please don't resist as we'd hate to have to arrest you for reading the wrong type of material.
And I'm not joking, with the way shit is going in the UK owning the wrong book could very well be something that lands you in jail in the very near future.
The UK Home Office's counter terrorism department has added more books to their naughty list
And surprise surprise Tolkien is on it now, the LOTR series is now considered a gateway to right wing extremism by the UK guberment.
"William Shawcross, who investigated the program, wrote that United Kingdom’s Prevent system had three main objectives: “to tackle the causes of radicalisation and respond to the ideological challenge of terrorism, to safeguard and support those at risk of radicalisation through early intervention, identifying them and offering support, and to enable those who have already engaged in terrorism to disengage and rehabilitate.”Initially the program dealt mostly with Islamic terrorism, but in recent years it has shifted focus onto right-wingers. Its definition of “extremism” is extremely disturbing, as well as their theories on what causes “radicalization.” Because J.R.R. Tolkien is not the only author they have determined to be dangerous. He’s in good company. C.S. Lewis. Aldous Huxley. Joseph Conrad. Even George Orwell and his “1984.” All the best British people are on this list. Reading these wise and skilled writers identifies those reading as “those at risk of radicalisation.”
Carry on Brits, no doubt the bobbies will be by shortly to confiscate your forbidden books! Please don't resist as we'd hate to have to arrest you for reading the wrong type of material.
And I'm not joking, with the way shit is going in the UK owning the wrong book could very well be something that lands you in jail in the very near future.
I was wondering what Dublin was up to. Apparently not much.
This was the first thing I see on opening rte.
FUCKING PALESTINE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who gives a fuck? Oh yea no we must bring all the muslims to Ireland for medical treatment, there are simply no other hospitals closer than Ireland. Who knew? Then there's shit about the election which makes sense. Football whatever. Then some guy who punched some bitch or whatever who was 'canvassing' ie door to door salesmen for politicians. Which like yea assault is bad but I can't really say I blame him. Of course they don't release any details on what exactly happened. Why would that ever be important? They did however post his bail conditions.
The court was told Daniel Soave must sign on in a garda station twice a week, provide his phone number to gardaí, notify them if he changes address, and not to engage with any campaigners in the Dublin 1 area. .... told the accused that he was not to contact any witnesses in the case and not to post anything online about it.
Yea. So assault now has more conditions attached to it than raping a child. Probably would have had a longer jail sentence too. Imagine not even being allowed to say that you were arrested. I mean it just makes sense really. You punched someone so the police must have your phone number?
Then the uk police getting in shit for degrading language. Want to take bets on what that is? I'd be willing to bet it's calling someone a bitch or similar. Christ. Nope. It's even more retarded than that. Fucking hell.
refer to a suspected victim of domestic violence as "mental", possibly suffering from "post-natal depression" and requiring hospitalisation.
Wow. 'mental' fuck me that's assault that is. How did she survive? If you were hospitalised for mental health reasons then yea you kinda are a bit mental. That's sort of what that means. They also importantly did not say this to anyone. Someone just had a phone recording that got dug up 3 fucking years later. Damn. Yea so you will go out and let people throw bricks and firebombs at you but don't you fucking dare say something that isn't even a fucking swear word. If they said that shit to the woman then maybe I would give a shit but this is literally policing private conversations that have no impact on anyone.
They also do this shit
Twenty-eight women have died violently since 2020.
Ok? Six people a year? Damn. That's so many. If you have to spell out the number and use an extended time frame to make something look more important than it actually is maybe just don't include it. Stick with just the
Last year there were 29,751 domestic abuse incidents, a decrease of 9.2% on the previous year.
But Northern Ireland still has one of the highest levels of domestic abuse in Europe.
type statistics maybe. Obviously it's an issue but fucking hell there's probably more people that die from trying to inhale a whole potato than this.
This also reeks of bullshit.
All but one were killed by a man, or a man has been charged in connection with their deaths.
All but one was killed by a man. Aside from the ones that weren't killed by a man and there was just a male involved somewhere. Stinks like shit that does.
No one got fired, one guy got put on a course, three essentially got told 'dont let me catch you doing that again retard' and that's it.
Then more election shit. Makes sense. I honestly didn't even notice the first football story was some faggot shit. I care more about the rights of the lgbtqgiurhfakjaef than I do football.
Armagh's Mark Shields, the first male inter-county player to come out as gay in 16 years
lol what a diverse bunch. 16 years and not one came out as gay. No wonder this is headline news, about as rare as a fucking unicorn apparently.
Oh yea also he didn't even just come out as gay. He literally says he has been out of the closet for a fucking decade. Truly only the hardest of hitting news stories here. I do love that he did it as he retired too. It's like a bait and switch almost. Yea boss I have a really big announcement. IM GAYand quittingjust hope that he spends so much mental energy on the gay shit to not notice you're leaving lol.
Also he said
I’ve had so many messages from people who were struggling and people who were in the same boat as me
But he said that he got so much support from the team? How can you be struggling and in the same boat when that boat is being surrounded by people that support you? I was going to say not many people are in the same boat as this guy because not many people can retire that young. But I can't fucking find any information on this guy because his entire presence online is just this same article 50 times over and he has seemingly done nothing else of value.
Anyway, from football on to soccer. Which I still don't care about.
Then there's some article about anime being popular. Idk maybe it's because no one likes paedowood slop anymore? I open the article and it has a little shot of the journo that wrote it. He looks like he belongs on university challenge. That is all I need to say.
And the last one is a fucking advert in disguise.
So yea. Palestine shit, couple people saying mean words, sport ball and adverts. Nothing ever happens.
Getting into the local shit though.
There's four articles that are pretty similar.
Man arrested following incident at crèche in Navan
All four of these ask if anyone has seen anything. All of them are basically just 'someone is hurt, happened here and at this time, did anyone see anything?'. What I find interesting is that in that appeal for information they give absolutely zero information on what that information relates to. Idk, maybe I just don't read the news enough or some shit. But when I hear appeal for information I'm expecting something like 'did anyone see a ~6ft tall 30-40 year old white male wearing a grey hoodie and blue jeans'. Not just 'did you see anything'. Maybe I did see the guy but I won't fucking know if you don't tell me what I should be thinking about. If I don't know who I am giving information on then how am I meant to know if I have any information on them? Interesting that one isn't it? I wonder if they might want to hide certain characteristics of the attacker for any reason?
Though the first one isn't an attack, I misread it, the 'incident' is what the guy did to himself and he got institutionalised.
There's also a story that I am split on. 50/50 indian or yob.
Vandalism that was carried out on new toilets in St Anne's Park in Raheny in Dublin has been described as "appalling".
"I'd like to appeal to any parents out there, who are your kids hanging around with? What are they doing?
"They can easily get into the wrong gang ... Check your children and see where they are and who they're hanging around with,"
Careful now. Don't want to piss off the irwc now would you? I don't mind if my kid's out doing ket and raping a couple women as long as he don't touch my shitter. Typical gang violence really. The insides look like they were painted red, probably the crips then.
They also include this amazing line
Ms Field said it was likely that the toilets would have to be replaced.
You fucking think mate? Really? Nah just let people shit on the melted toilets. Call them modern art. The ash is just there it's like activated carbon absorbs all the smells that does.
Want to guess the photo that goes to this headline?
A fatal drowning incident on the River Shannon two years ago occurred when a high-powered jet ski was conducting manoeuvres at an unsafe speed in excess of local speed limits on the river, according to a report.
Wassiou Ayawe Moran (19)
Fucking 'moran' lol, yea lived up to that pretty good.
Who could have guessed? Speeding? Unable to swim? Nah. Surely not. I know for a fact that I would not be able to swim in the sea if I fell off a jet ski, this is why I do not do dumb shit on a jetski. And if I was going to do dumb shit on a jetski I would not fucking
The MCIB said other factors were the non-wearing of a personal flotation device
Wow. Who could have seen that coming? The most obvious shit you could have ever wrote. I feel absolutely no sympathy for anyone involved. Fuck around and find out. You are not a
You killed yourself because of your own stupidity. You are not a victim you are a fucking retard and I have 0 sympathy.
If you cannot swim then you do not fuck around in the rivers. End of.
If you cannot swim then even if you are wearing a life jacket you still do not fuck around in the water.
Also the area had a fucking 5kmph limit which he was massively over.
In landlubber terms. Dumb fuck buys bmw, has never driven a car before, goes 100 in a 30, takes corner far too fast, slams into a wall, is sent flying 50m through the windscreen because he decided to not wear a seatbelt, paramedics scrape his brain off of tarmac.
And I'm meant to feel sorry or give a shit?
Anyway.
There is one article about citywest and Saggart.
It starts off and instantly I'm smelling bullshit again.
Nicola Maguire, who was raised in Saggart, went to the Citywest complex to light a candle on Tuesday.
Ok, hear me out. A child is raped. She is not local. She has no ties to anything in the citywest complex. The rapist however does. Now. Where do you light the candle? Because I am not making a fucking vigil for a raped child outside the 'house' of the rapist. That's retarded as shit. There is an incredibly large and impressive church almost in the exact middle of Saggart if you want to light a vigil. Not outside the fucking door of the rapist. Either stinks of shit or retarded.
She then goes on to say
I walked through the gates of Citywest to where everyone was standing and it was only when I settled myself that I realised I did not recognise one single person around me
As of 2022 there are 4,573 living in Saggart. You tell me, would you recognise every single one of them? I know for fucking sure I wouldn't. And once again, people from nearby are more than entitled to attend a protest. If you include the people from the immediate surrounding villages then you'd be talking about a population probably pretty close to 45,000. There's no way you would recognise everyone.
Then there's this which stinks somehow even fucking harder.
A little later, Ms Maguire and another local noticed a girl standing at the bus stop, she went over to her to tell her that she wouldn't be able to get a bus tonight.
"She'd never been to Saggart before, she was absolutely petrified.
"And she was petrified because of the colour of her skin. She didn't feel safe."
Why is some random brown all alone in a place she has never been to before in the middle of the night? The fuck was she doing? I mean the hotel is full of ukranians so she can't be visiting illegals she's friends with or anything like that right? Idk just what an interesting thing to randomly find huh?
Oh yea and because once again journalists are scum. They call her a scared little girl then in the very next line say
Ms Maguire was trying to reassure the woman that they would help her to get home safely.
And then it gets juicy.
I have said two things on this account repeatedly. That those in glass houses should not throw stones and that when you ignore the public they will keep shouting louder and louder until you cannot ignore them.
Someone agrees.
Earlier this week, she wrote a letter to the [prime minister], seen by RTÉ's This Week, in which she writes: "For months, the residents of Saggart have engaged only in peaceful protest, and yet we have received no support, no dialogue, and no acknowledgment from you or your party.
"You have chosen to ignore us."
Like a lot of residents, Ms Maguire said that she was angry, but she stressed it is anger without "any violent intentions".
"It's anger that we have been ignored for so long," she said.
Wow. You're telling me that the public had their requests ignored and instead of accepting infinity browns they instead kept talking louder and louder until they got to a point where they nearly burnt a hotel down? It's almost as if
Also entirely unrelated holy fucking shit it took me I don't even want to know how long to figure out where I know the name Maguire from. Went through nigh on every folk song I could think of only to finally ask chatgpt and it tell me yea the song's called mick maguire and holy fuck the Irish Rover's version that plays through exclusively the right ear and the instruments in the left, man I remember having a fucked up pair of headphones where the right one didn't work so I only ever got the instruments and would have to specifically disable stereo and play everything in mono and crank the volume up to max and turn my headphones into a really shitty speaker just for this song. Must be a fucking long time since I heard it.
And then we get another person saying something pretty similar
Anne Sullivan has lived in Saggart for seven years. The mother of two, is a member of the Saggart Guardians, which were campaigning for the Government not to purchase the Citywest complex. She has also attended several peaceful protests outside the Citywest complex.
Like other residents, Ms Sullivan believes that there has not been sufficient engagement by the Department of Justice or Government with the community in Saggart in relation to the Citywest complex.
When asked about why she thinks the protest became violent on Tuesday, Ms Sullivan said she couldn't speak to that.
No I cannot speak to why the protests might turn violent. Anyway yea the government has continued to fail us, sell out our community, ruin our way of life, piss in our faces and just generally has a massive amount on contempt for us and refuses to even listen to us when we say those things. But no idea why it might get violent wink wink.
There's then someone that works at the food court in the complex who says
Before last week, Ms Grey said that business was down significantly in the past year.
She said the restaurant being on the Citywest campus has received a "mixed reaction" from the locals.
"Some people are still trying to support the restaurant, still trying to support me," she said.
"A lot of others have been very direct and vocal in their refusal to come onto the campus.["] idk why they didn't close the quote there's nothing after it
You mean people don't want to come in to a complex full of fucking foreigners. The ipas centre is literally described in this very article as 'While many don't stay there, it is their first destination on arrival in Ireland.' so you have a massive turnaround of random fucking immigrants that no one knows who they are or what they're like or how many people they have killed or raped in their home country all just coalescing in this complex. Wonder why people might not want to eat there? Crazy that. Also do not believe their bullshit, this is not a campus. The complex consists of an ipas (immigration) centre, a hotel full of migrants, a leisure centre and a food court. The education shit is nowhere near where this took place.
