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https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs
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7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.
 
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I feel like trying to stab someone with an opened umbrella is gonna be really awkward. A well timed gust of wind would sweep you off like Mary Poppins.
Unless the twisty handle also makes the umbrella open, I don't think the spike requires it. Why would there be a twist handle and a button?
 
I suppose that leaves the government in a very sticky situation. Do they acknowledge that hiring Bomalians to be prison officers while knowing they do absolutely fuck all about prisoner safety might be a bad thing, or do they double down on it in the hope that anyone who goes to prison just fucking dies?
 
There's also a strong rumour that Romesh Unpronounceablelastname raped Daisy May Cooper
Sorry, what?
Ian Hislop as well - I reckon the real reason Angus Deayton got pulled from HIGNFY wasn't because of 'the whore' but that he knew Ian was 'dodgy'.
Never liked Ian and Paul on HIGNFY, they always came off as very spiteful and glad to see Angus go. I don't care that he did coke and fucked a prozzie thats probably the most tame 'scandal' to come out of that studio.
I love playing 'guess the raper' when it comes to British TV celebs; my money is on someone from the recent Traitors Celebs show, there's been too many forced memes from that, especially around Carr.
 
Ian Hislop would realistically have the best cover, he's the editor for Private Eye which mocks political figures so obviously if any dirt went his way he could conceivably go "this is a political attack to silence free speech"
 
Feeling pissed off because I had to go and spend $100 on an umbrella for my upcoming visit to your depressing island. I'm spoiled by Americans allowing everyone to just carry guns around, and since the UK offers no such privilege yet is no less filled with septic people I have to settle for this inferior means of self-defense.
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If this Davek brand is actually any good I'll recommend it and you lot might have a new, feasible means to not get gutted by kebab salesmen.
An old guy at my local always too pure for this world and would walk through the rough parts of town drunk, so a couple of worried lads brought him back a walking stick from Spain with a fucking sword hidden in it.

That was pre-9/11 so good luck getting something like that past airport security now.
 
That was pre-9/11 so good luck getting something like that past airport security now.
I brought a 4 inch locking flick knife back from Romania in 2006 or so. Or was it 2010? Damn handy when I was in the trades, having a knife that you can open and close one-handed. I just had to make sure never to get caught with it out.

Actually we are. Flintlocks and obsolete calibres are legal without a license in Britain.
I have been thinking of starting a small collection of such things. I have no doubt getting the powder would be extremely difficult, but since it's just for display purposes and not so I can fill a rapscallion with grapeshot and bayonet his companion, that isn't an issue.

Tally ho, lads!
 
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