UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I have no doubt getting the powder would be extremely difficult,

Loving the idea of wheeling a cannon out when the inevitable weirdos come knocking, claiming to be from the council or the water board, asking for money.

Can you still get those little paper bombs that you’d chuck down and they’d explode with a crack and a spark? Or rolls of caps for cap guns? Might need to invest in a few packs of those. Unless they’re already illegal.

They’re probably illegal, aren’t they?

Are spud guns still allowed, at least?

 

[teriyakiburns]

Can you still get those little paper bombs that you’d chuck down and they’d explode with a crack and a spark? Or rolls of caps for cap guns?

Rio snappers? Yes to both. And spud guns too, though everyone you ask about it says you'll shoot your eye out.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

You can buy a variety of 'decommissioned' rifles and machine guns from various shops around England, they even come with a certificate to say how they were decommissioned.
Whatever you do, don't recommission it using a lathe or drill and not declare it because nobody would know and that would be dangerous.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

With all the jitty/ginnel/close/alley/entry/cob/barm/teacake lark going on, this survey might be something of interest to fill out: https://york.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_d05t6DYCPleMj8V

It’s done on behalf of some York University researchers who’ve made this website with a few of the results so far: https://www.ourdialects.uk/

Hopefully they’ll do a few more heatmaps of various words - the ones for a gap between houses that you can walk along would be pure chaos.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

He says "I am very happy to be here" in Hindi.

Why is the background ai generated? (or upscaled) I know he's fucking retarded and constantly lies but man saying you are happy to be in india is just too far.

ian watkins is finally fucking dead!!!!

What the fuck? We have prisons full of people that hate child rapists? Was it a little boy he fucked? Or were they just jealous that he had first go on the kid before they could?

Loads, UK gun culture is an upper middle class thing, so if you go to a nice area, or any town outside a city you can probably find one.

'nice area' so what you do is you find a map of white percentages and look for the highest one near the countryside. There is only one gun club I know of in my city, it also just so happens to be in one of the whitest areas too. Never knew you could have a flintlock without trouble though. Seems like you can just buy gunpowder too, though most of the places I can see online seem to be smokeless which fairly sure will blow up a flintlock. And half of the places are just an absolute fucking mess, it's just a random number and other than that it all looks the exact same. I feel like an oap trying to buy a new computer.

Rio snappers? Yes to both. And spud guns too, though everyone you ask about it says you'll shoot your eye out.

Spud gun but loaded with pork. Or beef. Depending on where you live

You can buy a variety of 'decommissioned' rifles and machine guns from various shops around England, they even come with a certificate to say how they were decommissioned.
Whatever you do, don't recommission it using a lathe or drill and not declare it because nobody would know and that would be dangerous.

Do not do this. Not even a haha don't fedpost type shit. Most guns in this country are absolutely fucking destroyed by demilling. European demilling is bad enough but English is even worse. If you need a drill that means it has likely been welded. If it has been welded then the heat treatment is destroyed and you have just created the world's worst grenade. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of dedemilled guns in this country but if you look at seizures they're all pistols because when the fucked steel explodes it only explodes with a bang instead of a big bang, among other reasons at least.

 

[StimulatedOrb]

Do not do this. Not even a haha don't fedpost type shit. Most guns in this country are absolutely fucking destroyed by demilling. European demilling is bad enough but English is even worse. If you need a drill that means it has likely been welded. If it has been welded then the heat treatment is destroyed and you have just created the world's worst grenade. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of dedemilled guns in this country but if you look at seizures they're all pistols because when the fucked steel explodes it only explodes with a bang instead of a big bang, among other reasons at least.

Its also kinda pointless, as a gun is a pretty simple concept. I doubt Colin can put together a high powered machine gun, but some twiggy Jap was able to put together a functional shotgun with just some simple DIY and bits of material that are not that hard to come by. Getting caught with that is likely to ruin your life though.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Its also kinda pointless, as a gun is a pretty simple concept. I doubt Colin can put together a high powered machine gun, but some twiggy Jap was able to put together a functional shotgun with just some simple DIY and bits of material that are not that hard to come by. Getting caught with that is likely to ruin your life though.

Yea. I would just rather avoid glowing. The luty is English afterall.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Its also kinda pointless, as a gun is a pretty simple concept. I doubt Colin can put together a high powered machine gun, but some twiggy Jap was able to put together a functional shotgun with just some simple DIY and bits of material that are not that hard to come by. Getting caught with that is likely to ruin your life though.

Can’t we just carry spoons? I don’t think we need loicenses for those (yet). The way everyone in power is so hysterical over weapons, I’d be nervous wielding a water pistol in case I got done for some offence. Actual ‘go bang’ weaponry I’m happy to leave to the plod and the drug-dealing lunatics. If I needed a gun to survive, I’m not sure it’d be a country I’d want to be living in anyway.

 

[PandaChai]

Although I find it a bit baffling that you've managed to claim cheese on toast as your thing

It's because English rarebit involves dousing the bread in red wine first.

 

[Symbol of the Chud]

Actual ‘go bang’ weaponry I’m happy to leave to the plod and the drug-dealing lunatics

Real flawed retard logic.
Personally I'd be happy if all the insides of all of the "drug dealing lunatics" heads were decorating the surrounding area. I certainly am not happy that criminals and our retard police are allowed to have guns while the general population isn't.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Can’t we just carry spoons? I don’t think we need loicenses for those (yet). The way everyone in power is so hysterical over weapons, I’d be nervous wielding a water pistol in case I got done for some offence. Actual ‘go bang’ weaponry I’m happy to leave to the plod and the drug-dealing lunatics. If I needed a gun to survive, I’m not sure it’d be a country I’d want to be living in anyway.

If the government does not want you to have something then you should double the number you own. If it gets banned then I already dropped it in to one of those anonymous amnesty bins. You're already living here, you might as well get a way to protect yourself. Whether that's some sort of club type thing or a sword or a gun or something else. Every room in my house has shit that if I'm in that room and someone breaks in I have something more than just my fists, everything's covered in dust but that doesn't matter, dusty or not it'll still cave someone's head in if I need it to. Originally I would say like ehh who cares you'll get yourself in more shit just trying to fight someone but now they're less interested in stealing shit and are more likely to just fucking rape you, it's not something you can really ignore anymore. Even if you lived literally right next to a police station it would take them longer to get to your house than it would for someone to break in to your house and kill you. Do not ever rely on the police for anything. Especially in fucking England of all places.

Realistically I could do anything, if I bought a tank or some shit and remilled it and kept it in my house the police would ever know. You're not getting in any shit for owning something illegal if the police simply do not know you own it.

It's because English rarebit involves dousing the bread in red wine first.

Why the fuck is the English version requiring you douse it in that disgusting f****h slop? All wine is bad and shit and cringe.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

Ian Watkins (The gay one from Steps) Live

You are free, Ian. You can go to Tesco for your meal deal and not be called a pedophile.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Speaking as an actual British guns haver:

Yes, you can have obsolete calibre guns/flintlocks/percussion fired guns without a licence as a curiosity or ornament, however they will need to have been manufactured pre-1939. Possession with intent to fire them (i.e. in conjunction with ammunition) will put you away as surely as having a 9mm Glock in your sock drawer.

Gun shops will list their stock online but you'd need to go in person to actually buy powder and at that point you'd be stuffed. They'll want to see a firearms license for nitro powder, or an explosives licence for black powder/BP substitutes.

Regarding deactivated guns, any that are legally on the market now would be done to the latest EU spec and at that point they are vaguely gun shaped objects rather than viable starter material for illegal firearm production. The objective of deactivation is to render the pressure bearing parts useless to the point that if you could bring them back into use it would have been quicker and easier to start from scratch. I have an older-spec deactivated revolver and that would need at minimum a new barrel and cylinder to return to a firing state, if I was a) equipped to machine those and b) sufficiently criminally inclined to do so, I would be banging out 9mm blowback SMGs instead.

Most of the illegally produced firearms kicking about are blank firing pistols that have had the top-venting blank barrel cut off and a length of (often unrifled) steel tube bodged on, firing blank cartridges with BBs/air rifle pellets glued to the end.

If you want a gun, either take up clay pigeon shooting and get a shotgun or 3, or join a gun club and start buying rifles. It's a good hobby that gets you out of the house, and gun club members tend to be sound people. Trying to go down the illegal route will either get you in nick or your hands blown off.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

You could go down the third route and ask a nigger or a paki to sell you one.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

You could go down the third route and ask a nigger or a paki to sell you one.

The local secondary school in a big city, more like.

 

[Oxyjen]

Trying to go down the illegal route will either get you in nick or your hands blown off.

The German solution to all this is to (of course) obey the law to the letter, but make increasingly horrifying automatic crossbows, potato cannons and dart guns.
There are several hugely popular YouTube channels detailing the massive engineering projects they embark on. I’ve seen more than one of these mad lads complete their invention and then decide to market it - at this point the state immediately changes the law to crack down on whatever weird niche loopholes they exploited.
Suffer, Germans! Still, you’ve got to respect the effort they put in which Brits don’t.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

The kraut who finally fully despairs of his countries weapon laws explores edge cases within them all over youtube, the Englishman quietly designs and builds, then publishes plans for the expedient homemade smg.

Philip Luty was an odd chap by all accounts, but he certainly put the work in

 

[Oxyjen]

The kraut who finally fully despairs of his countries weapon laws explores edge cases within them all over youtube, the Englishman quietly designs and builds, then publishes plans for the expedient homemade smg.

Philip Luty was an odd chap by all accounts, but he certainly put the work in

Can you go into more detail without being arrested? Sounds interesting.

 

[Snekposter]

seem to be smokeless which fairly sure will blow up a flintlock

Na, just gotta watch your chamber pressure. Right after smokeless made its way to the USA a ton of black powder cartridges that were in circulation had factory loads made and sold that were safe to use in the. Of course they had to use less than half the powder they originally used and wad the cartridge, but you could do the same for a musket.

They'll want to see a firearms license for nitro powder, or an explosives licence for black powder/BP substitutes.

Meanwhile, in the USA (so excluding California) they just want to know if you're over 18.

Can you go into more detail without being arrested? Sounds interesting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Luty

Sure hope Wikipedia isn't illegal over there.

In 2009, another charge was made after an armed anti-terrorist unit searched Luty's home in May 2009. Luty was subsequently tried for violating the Terrorism Act 2000. In particular, he was accused of "creating records that could be of use to a person who wants to commit or prepare a terrorist attack". He also possessed a "collection of pipes which could be screwed together to produce an item from which a bulleted cartridge could be discharged."

Oi mate, where's yer poipe loicense at?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Can you go into more detail without being arrested? Sounds interesting.

Luty was a chap who really, really didn't like our gun laws and set out to prove you could build a functional SMG with no "gun parts" needed. The government took this rather poorly.

This video from Forgotten Weapons pretty much covers it.