UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

They've got a third party service that you'd download as a VPN, then it'd just keep track of which websites you visit on what devices. Imagine giving a random polling company that information for £1 a month.

Yea no I get how it works. But how is that only worth £1 a month? If knowing what I watch on tv is £8 then how is that only £1? Most of my streaming shit under the categories you said would be online, it would be through my computer. If they're giving me £1 for full access to my computer then why would they offer me 8x that much for partial access to my computer, it would be something that they would already be collecting and is way more niche and useless in comparison? I cannot think of any explanation as to why that should be cheaper. Unless it's trying to give off the image of being something not valuable so people won't stop to question it. Like if they said oh yea we'll pay you £50 a week for your full computer access you might start wondering why but if it's such a low amount you might think that it's hardly collecting anything? I can't even schizo my way into anything resembling an explanation.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

There are a couple of things happening that are going to be horrible for us, the people, but catastrophic for Keith. One of the China stuff

Guido sums it up nicely as the interactions with China.

https://order-order.com/2025/10/08/in-full-all-starmers-meetings-scandals-and-kow-tows-to-communist-china/

This has the possibility of having us removed from the 5i's as they warned already over the appointment of Shabnam Mahumid. The Americans really dislike her and view her as an extremist. This is a very bad scandal and will only intensify.

My prediction about France is likely to pass too, as Macron is shortly going to resign. This will isolate Keith majorly as Macron has been the bridge to Europe. Ursula and Merz are in a spot where they have to consolidate their power, so Keith cannot jet off when a scandal appears anymore.

Finally, like Boris, the cabinet is threatening revolt, but this time due to Reeves. I think the nail in the coffin was Digital ID and Mahmood shirking it on Kendall to avoid any accountability. Kendall, Cooper, and Miliband view Mahmood as a threat and heir apparent. I am pretty sure Streeting will be in this camp too, to save his skin. I expect a chain of resignations next week or hers. Starmer will not resign, but he should because his patronage is nonexistent.

 

[Crunkle]

I can't even schizo my way into anything resembling an explanation.

Maybe it's £1 per device? Their website says:

The points you can earn with YouGov Pulse varies on the amount of devices and your location but you will be told exactly how many points you will earn when you sign up to Pulse. To earn your points YouGov Pulse must be installed and actively used on the device (actively used = use the internet on that device and keep the app runnning in the background).

Seems to be dependent on how many devices you have, so most people will have a Cattle TV, a phone, laptop and apparently they also have browser extensions. So that makes a little more sense.

Viewing habits will be more valuable to them immediately because they can advertise similar stuff or sell the data. But the random Internet usage might not be instantly as worthwhile.

 

[Made In Wales]

There are a couple of things happening that are going to be horrible for us, the people, but catastrophic for Keith. One of the China stuff

Guido sums it up nicely as the interactions with China.

https://order-order.com/2025/10/08/in-full-all-starmers-meetings-scandals-and-kow-tows-to-communist-china/

This has the possibility of having us removed from the 5i's as they warned already over the appointment of Shabnam Mahumid. The Americans really dislike her and view her as an extremist. This is a very bad scandal and will only intensify.

My prediction about France is likely to pass too, as Macron is shortly going to resign. This will isolate Keith majorly as Macron has been the bridge to Europe. Ursula and Merz are in a spot where they have to consolidate their power, so Keith cannot jet off when a scandal appears anymore.

Finally, like Boris, the cabinet is threatening revolt, but this time due to Reeves. I think the nail in the coffin was Digital ID and Mahmood shirking it on Kendall to avoid any accountability. Kendall, Cooper, and Miliband view Mahmood as a threat and heir apparent. I am pretty sure Streeting will be in this camp too, to save his skin. I expect a chain of resignations next week or hers. Starmer will not resign, but he should because his patronage is nonexistent.

Would say that's very likely - they are not going to agree on the Budget passing either and that will be the final nail in their coffin.

Even with a three line whip, a lot of them will not back down even if it means Nigel Farage is then poised to become the next PM.

Defections to Your Party/Greens/Lib Dems and even Plaid cannot be ruled out.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Seems to be dependent on how many devices you have, so most people will have a Cattle TV, a phone, laptop and apparently they also have browser extensions. So that makes a little more sense.

I guess the maths somewhat add up if they're expecting your entire family to be doing it, that way yea might be more than £8 for a single tv. Even then surely if they're paying you the £1 for tv data that is the same as the £8 streaming data? I don't see a situation that the £1 doesn't cover the same shit as the £8 but with even more data thrown in too. Just such a fucking odd thing to come from what is a glorified google form. I wonder what they consider an 'active' 'device' to be though? I use my phone as a flashlight so I don't trip when waking up to shit in the middle of the night, that's about it, is that active? Are some personal things that function over wifi 'devices', like things that really should just be bluetooth but instead work through the wifi? Like my printer, that's on the wifi, is that a device? If so that'd make more sense. Idk it's just fucking strange to hear from a survey website, maybe they took inspiration from all those other dodgy survey sites that you'd get redirected to from porn ads and shit like that a decade ago. Idk fucking absolute clown world, next my fridge will have a camera inside it so that it can be used to detect when I'm out of milk and then show me ads of people using somali bikers to deliver me milk or something cooky and wacky and unbelievable like that.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Would Muslims vote for a female? Sheboon Mahmood is the right religion but the wrong gender.

 

[Made In Wales]

Would Muslims vote for a female? Sheboon Mahmood is the right religion but the wrong gender.

Not unless she is formally accepted and endorsed by either Your Party or the Worker's Party (George Galloway's gang).

If she stays as a Labour MP, she'll only become more ostracised over time as her rhetoric is too right wing for them - she knows that trying to 'out Nigel' Mr. Farage is the only way but the problem then is she'll piss off the 'we love migrant' white libtards like Bryant.

An interesting 'game' to play would be how many Labour MP's would actually leave for other parties and for what reason:

* Backs Burnham over Starmer
* Dislikes Starmer and Reeves but neither Left/Right of the party
* More of a Corbynite (Butler and Black/Asian MP's in metropolitan areas certainly tick this box)

As well as those loyal to Starmer, no matter what.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

The problem with Sheboon Mukmad is that she is too much like Sunak. The problem is that every country is recalibrating and going nationalist, except the Middle East. She is too far right for the party, too, and has no authority.

As for the budget, it appears that the cabinet is aware of a VONC and wishes to prevent it. Both occurrences will have the same result, though and we know Starmer cannot make a cabinet. It's so bad that Stephenie Driver's position has been offered to multiple people, and everyone has declined because it is that poisonous.

It is giving me the energy of Hitler in the bunker, Downfall style.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Would Muslims vote for a female? Sheboon Mahmood is the right religion but the wrong gender.

Depends how much she looks like their fucking cousin apparently.

 

[Crunkle]

I guess the maths somewhat add up

Ohh, just had a thought too. It's technically a VPN so you do get a VPN in exchange for that plus £1. So maybe that's the draw is that you get a VPN for "free" and then £1 per device.

That seems much more "reasonable" (still a dreadful idea).

 

[Made In Wales]

The problem with Sheboon Mukmad is that she is too much like Sunak. The problem is that every country is recalibrating and going nationalist, except the Middle East. She is too far right for the party, too, and has no authority.

As for the budget, it appears that the cabinet is aware of a VONC and wishes to prevent it. Both occurrences will have the same result, though and we know Starmer cannot make a cabinet. It's so bad that Stephenie Driver's position has been offered to multiple people, and everyone has declined because it is that poisonous.

It is giving me the energy of Hitler in the bunker, Downfall style.

I can see Starmer doing something retarded like telling the rebels 'fuck off elsewhere then'.

Should we get a minority Government in the next few weeks, it's all over.

Who would want to work with Starmer in a coalition?

Badenoch - Forget it, instant Tory death.
Davey - Would want Burnham as leader and confirmation of re-joining the EU (No, in other words).
Polanski - Not enough MP's to make a difference.
Saville-Roberts - Despite Plaid only having four MP's, none will work with Labour.
Swinney - The SNP only have nine MP's and Labour are hated in Scotland.
Farage - AHEM...NO!
Independent Group - No, not viable anyway.

Just remember that the working majority means jack shit if/when Labour dips to 325 or below.

 

[Pikanic]

Reading UK politics general: immense depression, but reading the US politics general gives me a sense of almost unbridled optimism. Trump should just liberate the mother country at this point. We'd be better off.

 

[Made In Wales]

Hard to disagree with that @Pikanic

Some late night news - a gang wearing balaclavas stormed into a Primary School in Smethwick, Birmingham... just another normal day in the multi-cultural UK.

Nigel Farage said that he'd rather go to Prison than carry Digital ID - as a result, Reform UK are once again gaining in the polls.

Plus, Rachel Reeves has been barred from using Treasury emergency reserves to finance public sector wage increases, in a major tightening of fiscal discipline across Whitehall.

Even the OBR and the Treasury team hate her.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy8rl7e7xp3o

Also, this the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) has now branded Starmer a threat to national security. It's another Harold Wilson!

 

[Nopenopenope]

Ohh, just had a thought too. It's technically a VPN so you do get a VPN in exchange for that plus £1. So maybe that's the draw is that you get a VPN for "free" and then £1 per device.

That seems much more "reasonable" (still a dreadful idea).

I wonder if that VPN can be used to get around porn ID checks. You can beat it all you want, but we want to watch.

 

[weegrumpy]

TBF Spitting Image is taking potshots at all sides - I don't necessarily agree with every gag/quip but it's a hell of a lot more funny than HIGNFY.

The Connolly and Migrant jokes are actually quite clever as they are mimicking what your typical Guardian Reader thinks and thereby taking a swipe at their biogted and self-righteous beliefs - ergo, these people laugh at Spitting Image when really it is they who are being lampooned as they can't get sarcasm (think of when Pep Guardiola mockingly and sarcastically shook the hands of match officials at a Liverpool v Man City game and said 'thank you, thank you' - the match officials couldn't work out that he was mocking them until the penny dropped a lot later).

Ironically it's the HIGNFY crowd who want Spitting Image cancelled for daring to mock Dear Leader Starmer because when they see direct mockery and lampooning of somebody and something they like, they cannot take it. I can take mocking of Farage, Trump etc. as I'm not a six year old sniveling retard, but they cannot ever take any critique or 'bullying' when comedy is 'weaponised' against them.

I remember the og spitting image and I was looking forward to it. But all I’ve seen is a coked up paddington bear and jazz’s same jokes all the fecking time

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

So I couldn't sleep last night because I was stationed in a hotel where some faggots in the room over very clearly put cling film over their smoke detector and smoked weed all night. While I was trying to sleep I got thinking about why we need every single weed user shot but then something else hit me.

Remember Crooked House? The pub that was bought by a bunch of investment retards who did the most obvious insurance scam hatchet job? The thing that somehow managed to unite the entire UK as it pissed off everyone from the wettest leftie to the hardest right gammon? Last year they were served notices to rebuild the pub but I never heard anything about them since. Turns out the company they were running has gone bankrupt and that's pretty much all I've managed to find on them.

If Starmer wants an easy win he should publicly hang the both of them.

 

[Overly Serious]

Would Muslims vote for a female? Sheboon Mahmood is the right religion but the wrong gender.

Depends on how much that is a path to winning for them and on her personal politics. Pakistan had a female Prime Minister and Pakistan is an entire country of, uh, Pakistanis. If she looks like the best shot of getting power and isn't feminist, there's no definite reason why Muslims wouldn't support a female leader. Despite some regional proximity, they're not the Taliban.

As for the budget, it appears that the cabinet is aware of a VONC and wishes to prevent it.

That's a game of chicken that I don't think the back benchers have the balls to win. If anything led to a General Election right now two-thirds of them would lose their seats and they know it. Maybe the inner circle will persuade Starmer to step down without a VONC, but if he wont, I don't think it can be pushed. I think like Macron in France, he knows his goose is cooked and is just going to run out the clock doing everything his globalist master's want because at this point it's all he's got.

But I've been wrong before.

Plus, Rachel Reeves has been barred from using Treasury emergency reserves to finance public sector wage increases, in a major tightening of fiscal discipline across Whitehall.

Thanks be! She'd do it, too.

I remember the og spitting image and I was looking forward to it. But all I’ve seen is a coked up paddington bear and jazz’s same jokes all the fecking time

Original Spitting Image was funny. I still recall the scene of Margaret Thatcher in the men's room and was it Gummer saying "I never seem to be able to go when she's standing next to me," John Major's grey puppet saying "these peas are nice, Norma". And how oddly sad the "Go now," song made me feel for Maggie.

What I've seen of the revival... I'm not sure. It's possible that I just take things more seriously (checks username) these days and I'm too close to what they mock to find it funny anymore. I guess what makes it less funny for me now, is the awareness that others take it seriously. I could maybe laugh at the Farage joke if I thought the country was laughing with me, instead of this being truly what they believed Lucy Connolly had done.

As an aside, I tried to find the Go Now original but couldn't. So instead have this other classic from the original Spitting Image. I wonder what they would change if doing this song today...

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Depends on how much that is a path to winning for them and on her personal politics. Pakistan had a female Prime Minister and Pakistan is an entire country of, uh, Pakistanis. If she looks like the best shot of getting power and isn't feminist, there's no definite reason why Muslims wouldn't support a female leader. Despite some regional proximity, they're not the Taliban.

Good point about pakistan having a woman in charge.
I know brit pakis are fairly lax compared to their desert-loving relatives but there's still a very strict hierarchy when it comes to females and males in the islamic world.
They keep up appearances in front of non-muslims but get a few in a room together of mixed gender and watch the old-world values take centre stage.

Take a trip to Bradford or any muslim area and you will see groups of women with what looks like a young kid with them, he's ackshually the chaperone.

TL;DR- I agree it comes down to if she can get the imams will farm from their delegates achieve enough votes to bring in sharia law.

 

[Crunkle]

Good point about pakistan having a woman in charge.

Pakistan is in da bag

It's like a fucking Borat skit.