UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Kane Lives]

I know the minimum wage shit is just Tories trying to salvage whatever they can by bribing the minimum wagers, but wouldn't this squeeze the already perilous small and medium businesses that's still trying to recover from the COVID shit?

 

[Shig O'nella]

wouldn't this squeeze the already perilous small and medium businesses that's still trying to recover from the COVID shit?

And? Ain't many small or medium businesses donate to the Tories. Or to Labour, for that matter. Explains the whole "no fucks given" they show.

 

[Coccxys]

An autumn statement of give aways



Guaranteed all you'll be hearing from the media will be whinging about the welfare reforms that stop people perpetually dossing though.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Four bullet points on "economy" and two of them are a million quid to "green" aerospace companies (completely negligible) and an "investment zone" in fucking Wrexham. What a shit budget.

 

[teriyakiburns]

and an "investment zone" in fucking Wrexham.

Perhaps they're sending it in a similar form to the Ukraine aid package. I'm sure the Welsh will appreciate a nice fireworks display.

 

[Rusty Metal Skull Gun]

Four bullet points on "economy" and two of them are a million quid to "green" aerospace companies (completely negligible) and an "investment zone" in fucking Wrexham. What a shit budget.

Let's look up Wrexham (UK Parliament constituency) on Wikipedia... oh, it's a Conservative MP with a small majority. Fancy that!

I suspect they've chosen to reduce NI rather than PAYE because it's capped, so it can't be spun that it disproportionately affects the rich. But it won't affect pensioners, though, which is a mistake going into an election.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Guaranteed all you'll be hearing from the media will be whinging about the welfare reforms that stop people perpetually dossing though.

Radio 4's Money Box today had quite a bit on most of it, however the welfare stuff absolutely got the unquestioning "wah, no, wah!"

 

[Trig.Point]

One of the few things I actually like about Commonwealth-style parliamentarianism is the concept of having a nearly daily or actually daily thing where executive officials and the cabinet or even the PM are hostilely interrogated by the directly elected officials.

Those fuckers should view themselves as under constant investigation for their incessant fuckups, lies, and misconduct.

Of course the UK doesn't make much use of this lately. But it generates some often lulzy video content.

The problem is that only a certain type of person is able to put up with the 'scrutiny' that a chamber like the house of commons provides. A good performer in the chamber doesn't neccessarily make a good minister. The convention that all cabinet positions have to be filled by people sitting in the commons means that a Prime minister has a very shallow talent pool to choose from.

It's one of the reasons that in the UK the civil service has become more and more powerful over the last 30 years while the influence of actual elected politicians has declined.

 

[Snekposter]

Wrexham

"Wrecks 'im? I barely knew 'im!"

That said I'm shocked the UK didn't allow business expenses to be deducted. Its one of the few good things in the US tax code for small business owners.

 

[teriyakiburns]

That said I'm shocked the UK didn't allow business expenses to be deducted. Its one of the few good things in the US tax code for small business owners.

It did, though. Otherwise, my accountant has been lying to me for the last 20 years. The change is to allow 100% of the cost of industrial and mechanical equipment to be offset against taxes, rather than the capped allowance used previously.

 

[6MillionCoofs]

The problem ain’t work experience Hunt, it’s actual paid work. You can have all the experience but if you haven’t had paid work people often do not want to know.

 

[Coccxys]

The problem ain’t work experience Hunt, it’s actual paid work. You can have all the experience but if you haven’t had paid work people often do not want to know.

If you can't find a job in 18 months then either you're bring too picky or you're just dossing. I think the longest I've ever been out of work past 16 was 2 weeks and that was by choice.

We've all at some point met some graduate refusing to find work not linked to their degree (I'm sure we all remember the media bollocks about the geology grad who bitched about being told to work in a supermarket reeing about how important geology is. Great then go find a job in geology then if you don't like tesco), just as we all know the dossers of the world. This will force the former to get out of their ivory tower and the latter to get off their ass lest both be cut off.

It's likely any half way competent person on this would be offered some sort of job through the work experience or at least be able to use that recent work on a cv to pursue a permanent position.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/11/25/oldest-english-scientific-instrument-christies-auction-1311/

Metal device revealed as England's oldest scientific instrument​

The palm-sized horary quadrant, from 1311, will go up for auction at Christie’s with an estimated sale value of at least £100,000

The hand-held metal device was used to calculate the date of Easter Sunday



A hand-held metal device that was used to calculate the date of Easter Sunday is believed to be the oldest English scientific instrument ever discovered.
Made from copper alloy in 1311 and shaped like a quarter of a circle, the palm-sized horary quadrant still retains the coloured pigmentation used in its numbering.
It was bought more than 20 years ago by a collector who began to research it recently, revealing its historic significance.
The quadrant will go up for auction at Christie’s on December 13, with an estimated sale value of £100,000-£150,000, although it could go for much more.

Very rare item​

The craftsmanship and knowledge required to make the quadrant sheds new light on the state of technology in the 14th century.
James Hyslop, the head of science and natural history at Christie’s, said it was one of only six horary quadrants known about, and one of those is a fragment.
He said: “I’m absolutely smitten with this; it is the earliest dated English scientific instrument.
“The previously known earliest inscribed date on an English scientific instrument – the British Museum’s Chaucer Astrolabe – was 1326.
“One side of the quadrant was used to work out the date of Easter Sunday, and the other side was used to work out unequal hours.
“In the medieval world people had to work in daylight and so the hours were longer in the summer than in winter.”

Medieval computer​

He added: “All science at this time was taking place in monastic settings and they were extraordinarily clever to understand the science behind the projection to make something like this. It is like a mediaeval computer.
“We know that quadrants were sometimes royal gifts and the upper echelons of society were using them.
“Our client bought it more than 20 years ago because he thought it looked interesting and he never researched it fully until this year.”
The instruments can trace their history through Islamic Spain and back to Iraq in the ninth century.
The1311 quadrant is believed to be of great interest to a number of collectors, museums and other institutions.
The Christie’s auction also includes a silver microscope from 1700, with an estimate of £150,000-£250,000, and a paper from 1937 written by Claude Shannon called: A Symbolic Analysis of Relay and Switching Circuits.
It describes the foundation of all modern electronic digital computers and has an estimate of £50,000-£80,000.


Added by Me - I would love to get my hands on this and document it as fully as it deserves to be, sadly it's likely to end up in the hands of a private collection till it's sold in 20 - 30 years time.

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

Use of puberty blockers doubled since NHS clampdown​

 

[Unsane]

Use of puberty blockers doubled since NHS clampdown​

Give it ten years and these kids will be back to sue the taxpayer NHS for a colossal amount of reparations.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

This article dropped and is a bit worrying in all seriousness.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-67603379AUKUS:

Radars will help counter threat of 'space warfare'

Image caption,
Artist's concept showing two planets discovered orbiting a sun-like star in outer space.
By Ruth Comerford
BBC News

Radars tracking activity in "deep space" will help the UK protect itself from "space warfare", the defence secretary has said.
It marks a "new phase" of a security arrangement between the UK, US and Australia by 2030 - known as AUKUS.
The Ministry of Defence said radars will enable nations to identify objects in deep space, up to 22,000 miles (36,000 km) away from earth.
Grant Shapps said the system would be "constantly tracking threats".
The Deep Space Advanced Radar Capability (DARC) programme will be used to inform UK defence operations.
In a post on X, the Mr Shapps continued "that's why alongside the US and Australia we will build a global space radar system capable of constantly tracking threats in deep space."
The first radar site will be built in Australia and is expected to be up and running by 2026.
Cawdor Barracks in Pembrokeshire, Wales has been earmarked for the UK's radar, but the final decision depends on the outcome of an Environmental Impact Assessment and Town Planning application.
The barracks is currently home to a British Army Signals Regiment, which is due to relocate from 2028.
If given the go-ahead, construction is expected to be completed and the radar fully operational by 2030.
The radars will be operated from the ground, and will be equipped to provide 24/7 monitoring in all-weathers.
They have higher sensitivity, better accuracy, increased capacity, and more agile tracking than the current radars keeping tabs on deep space activity, the MoD said.
The "unique geographic positioning" of three radars would provide global monitoring and coverage, the MoD says, including "detecting potential threats to defence or civilian space systems".
It added the radars will assist in "critical space-traffic management and contribute to the global surveillance" of satellites in deep space.
The plan is part of the AUKUS security and defence pact between the three nations, which aims to maintain peaceful relations globally and in the Indo-Pacific area.
The DARC programme is key to "space domain awareness", a key objective of the UK's Defence Space Strategy, published last year.

Not once is the meteor or asteroid used. It does mention space traffic, deep space movements and threats to Earth from deep space.

Official article quoting British Government members and...

I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens.

 

[Vesperus]

Not once is the meteor or asteroid used. It does mention space traffic, deep space movements and threats to Earth from deep space.

I had a deep space movement once. Best kebab I ever had.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Want a preview of our next PM? Kier went to the Telegraph to confirm not only will he lie through gritted teeth to try to get votes he also wants people to think of him like good old WEF buddy Tony "lied to get the country into a war" Blair.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2023/12/02/starmer-praises-thatcher-woos-conservative-voters/

It is too easy to look at Britain today and throw your hands up in despair. Families across the country are bombarded with daily reminders of our current malaise: crumbling public services that no longer serve the public, families weighed down by the anxiety of spiralling mortgage bills and food prices, neighbourhoods plagued by crime and anti-social behaviour. Any one of these individually would be cause for outrage. Taken together they merge into something more insidious: the idea that our country no longer works for those it is supposed to.
That sense of a once great country now set on a path of decline has been sharpened by our political culture. The vast majority of the public don’t think about Westminster much. Why would they? At a time when people are looking for answers to the deep challenges of our age, they see a politics too large in its hectoring and interfering, too small in its ambition and ability. In these difficult conditions, the current Government resembles nothing so much as the sinking Mary Rose: overburdened, incompetently handled, plunging into the depths.
Every moment of meaningful change in modern British politics begins with the realisation that politics must act in service of the British people, rather than dictating to them. Margaret Thatcher sought to drag Britain out of its stupor by setting loose our natural entrepreneurialism. Tony Blair reimagined a stale, outdated Labour Party into one that could seize the optimism of the late 90s. A century ago, Clement Attlee wrote that Labour must be a party of duty and patriotism, not abstract theory. To build a “New Jerusalem” meant first casting off the mind-forged manacles. That lesson is as true today as it was then.
It is in this sense of public service that Labour has changed dramatically in the last three years. The course of shock therapy we gave our party had one purpose: to ensure that we were once again rooted in the priorities, the concerns and the dreams of ordinary British people. To put country before party.
None of that was easy but it was necessary. Often, it meant taking the path of most resistance. It meant not just listening to those who felt unable to vote for us but understanding them and acting. The public do not have outlandish or unreasonable expectations. They expect taxpayer money to be spent wisely, our security and our borders to be prioritised and a politics that serves them rather than itself. On each of these, we are now ready to deliver.
While we were moving back towards voters, the Tory Party has been steadily drifting away. Years of sowing empty promises, cynical falsehoods and false dawns is now reaping inevitable consequence. The Tories have talked the talk on fiscal prudence while wasting untold billions, weighing the country down with debt and raising the tax burden to a record high. They have squandered economic opportunities and failed to realise the possibilities of Brexit.
They will bequeath public finances more akin to a minefield than a solid foundation. Labour’s iron-clad fiscal rules will set this straight – but it will not be quick or easy. There will be many on my own side who will feel frustrated by the difficult choices we will have to make. This is non-negotiable: every penny must be accounted for. The public finances must be fixed so we can get Britain growing and make people feel better off.
Changing Labour has also meant ridding us of the nonsensical idea that some subjects are simply off limits for us. I profoundly disagree with the idea Labour should not be talking about immigration or small boats crossings. These are matters of serious public concern and deserve to be treated as such. This is a government that was elected on a promise that immigration would “come down” and the British people would “always [be] in control”. For immigration to then triple is more than just yet another failure – it is a betrayal of their promises.
When people see the Prime Minister allowing companies to pay workers from abroad 20 per cent less than those already here, they are right to conclude that the Tories are not just unserious about reducing immigration but actively driving it up. Labour would scrap this policy immediately. The Prime Minister should follow our lead.
Likewise, when people see government ministers wasting their time on gimmicks like Rwanda, they are right to conclude they are more interested in talking about small boat crossings than stopping them. Labour would use the full force of Britain’s intelligence and policing to smash the criminal gangs growing fat on the misery of human trafficking, destroying their evil business model. The Government should do the same.
Across Britain there are people who feel disillusioned, frustrated, angry, worried. Many of them have always voted Conservative but feel that their party has left them. I understand that. I saw that with my own party and acted to fix it. But I also understand that many will still be uncertain about Labour. I ask them to take a look at us again. If you believe that Britain needs stability, order, security then Labour is the party for you. If you believe there are precious things in our way of life, our communities and our environment that it is our responsibility to protect and preserve for future generations, Labour agrees with you. If you believe that this country needs change to get back to greatness, this Labour Party stands ready to deliver for you.
Britain’s priorities are once again Labour’s priorities. Delivering them is going to require all our efforts. That’s why we extend the hand of friendship to you, no matter where you are or who you have voted for in the past. National renewal demands it. It is only together that we will build the better future we all want.

Spoiler: Slime to English translation

Paragraph 1 - after Covid, during which we pushed for harder and longer lockdowns while I personally attended a party with the local police chief ensuring there was no way I would be found to have broken any rules, two wars and non-stop sabotage from civil servants, legal efforts we supported and riots we egged on things are looking bad.
2 - everyone wants Thatcher back right? Let's pretend I'll be like there rather than the guy I'm going to mention who I actually will be like
3 - despite still saying that white people are the problem let's pretend that isn't party policy anymore. Vote for me! Also let's pretend we don't still call for more migrants to be granted access, that police should focus more on mean words on the internet that roving murderous gangs or any of that other stuff we've been vocally in favour of. We're the law and order party!
4 - The Tories suck (true)
5 - Labour will such less (I want to say true given how high a bar that is to clear but will go with false)
6 - we're totally going to do something about migration. PS We're also raising foreign worker's salaries.
7 - please give us your votes. We hate you so much and it's going to be so hard to properly express that hatred next election if we have to form a coalition without doing some really horrific shit.
8 - I've snivelled enough, you basically owe me your vote at this point. Also I said national a whole lot in this article and pretended I'm for Brexit. Let's all agree to pretend I'm totally going to be tough with the EU and ignore the fact the before being elected I've already met the Greek PM and told him he can totally have those marbles back. Got to be some more stuff in our museums I can sell off alongside the country, Tony says I need to do a lot of stuff to make up for the cockup Cameron did.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

Stalmer saying he’ll lie when it’s convenient? Did he hire Sargon of Akkad as his campaign manger? It would also explain why he suddenly praised thatcher because that’s what labour leaders do these day apparently.

 

[Rusty Metal Skull Gun]

Not once is the meteor or asteroid used. It does mention space traffic, deep space movements and threats to Earth from deep space.

Official article quoting British Government members and...

I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens.

The significance of 22,000 miles is presumably because that's the height of a geostationary orbit. In no way can that possibly count as "deep space".
The journalists have compounded this by using an illustration of another solar system, the fucking idiots.