Brianna Wu / John Walker Flynt - "Biggest Victim of Gamergate," Failed Game Developer, Failed Congressional Candidate

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John's retelling of his harrowing experience with a .22 rifle.
 
Norvic said:
I've got to imagine she's talking about the same incident, though she's completely forgotten the details she invented last time.
It's worth reminding ourselves of how the story went last time.

View attachment 684751

So we have
motorboat -> canoe
park rangers -> hunters

I looked at the place she said she was canoeing on google maps. It's a leisure area, there's no place you're more than a kilometre from some business or other. Even if you did somehow lose your boat, you could just walk along the shoreline in either direction and come to some outpost of civilisation within 20 minutes.

I can only imagine this tale is based on some real incident, it's too specific to be pulled direct from the arse. But equally, I can't help but think the real incident is embarrassing as fuck. Something like Johnny boy went canoeing at summer camp, capsized and sat crying in the shallows until a staff member took him back to his cabin.
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That tale of boating down a river is as full of crap as the canoeing story. John can't even be bothered to look up the symptoms and treatment of hypothermia. His fantasy of being "resuscitated" by a bunch of manly game wardens is ludicrous.
 
Not to mention your gear would be stowed in drybags, and even capsized canoes float
 
polonium said:
Not to mention your gear would be stowed in drybags, and even capsized canoes float
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John is an idiot, though. He probably just had shit lying around the canoe like a moron.

Assuming any of this even happened at all.
 
polonium said:
Not to mention your gear would be stowed in drybags, and even capsized canoes float
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Good catch on John being too stupid to know that "flipped" canoes float. Otherwise, I hate to disagree, but John's "gear" would consist of a battery-powered boom box, a backpack full of Madonna CDs, a couple of bottles of Banana Red MD 20/20, and a large baggie filled with Ambien, none of which would be in a drybag.

And of course none of this ever happened. I seriously doubt that John can even swim.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
That tale of boating down a river is as full of crap as the canoeing story. John can't even be bothered to look up the symptoms and treatment of hypothermia. His fantasy of being "resuscitated" by a bunch of manly game wardens is ludicrous.
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Maybe he wiped out on a jet-ski trying to do rad moves while vacationing with his family and someone pulled him out of the water, the story always grows with Wu.

Four rednecks resuscitating him sounds like something John would call meeting four guys at a gay dogging place.
 
Fat Pikachu said:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't having an overabundance of candidates weaken your voice because it spreads voters with similar values way too thin? Or am I not thinking like a true Politisperg(tm)?
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An overabundance of candidates is one of the main reason Trump won the GOP nomination. The Dems could end up nominating someone even scarier. If we're lucky, the loons will split the lunatic vote, and a centrist will win.
 
Norvic said:
I can only imagine this tale is based on some real incident, it's too specific to be pulled direct from the arse. But equally, I can't help but think the real incident is embarrassing as fuck. Something like Johnny boy went canoeing at summer camp, capsized and sat crying in the shallows until a staff member took him back to his cabin.
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Said staff member threw a blanket around his shoulders, and let him sit by the fire and eat s'mores. It was then that young Miss John started to hallucinate that he was seeing the counselor molest a group of boys. This gave John a chubby, and almost took the edge off his appetite (almost), but it was a fucking s'more, dammit. So he sat there, wide-eyed, watching phantom boys being boofed while he smacked and chomped on stale graham crackers and Hershey bars. "I saw a Christian camp counselor molest boys with no consequences," he thought. "I wonder if there are any more s'mores."

That fat little fuck was in no danger of hypothermia. His adipose* layer would have insulated him. Nor was he in danger of drowning, because fat people are buoyant as fuck.

*I wish he would have chosen Addie Pose as his stage name instead of Brianna Wu. It would have been more apt.
 
Miles Peterson said:
I can't parse why Wu would be scare-mongering over this,...scaremongering about how easy it is to convert an AR-15 to full auto doesn't really work, because people know that it's used by mass shooters with the explict intent of breaking the law and killing loads of people, but said shooters don't rig it for full auto.
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It's virtue signaling, man of the people Stephen Lynch has taken a non-zero amount of NRA dollars in his political tenure representing MA-08, this draws a distinction between John and Representative Lynch. I suspect the 'team' is trying to get John to tweet-illustrate this in an effort to increase his election chances in the primary this time, thus the gun sperging. :deagle::stickup::deagleleft: Also, this story makes perfect sense when you find out the shooting instuctor's name was Albert Einstein, which of course John forgot to mention...

Karl_der_Grosse said:
Is that one of the Porsches? Why on earth would you buy a Porsche and not rent a house with a garage? You could probably get away with it in a lot of places, but Boston isn't one of them.
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It's the Danger Car larpmobile. Hope John installed the flamethrowers already. The Danger Girls had flamethrowers in their not James Bond car, right? ?
 
They both are so much more photogenic when they're not actually facing the camera. Anyone care to try to make out what all that stuff on the door says?
 
Dlagonrold said:
For Wu, those are downright minor changes to a story. I'd expect something more along the lines of this:

View attachment 685112
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If you've ever been around non-native English speakers, you'll notice a lot of people who have the same native language make a lot of similar idiosyncratic word choices. They aren't always necessarily wrong, or at least aren't wrong enough to keep them from being understood. But they certainly don't fit in with the way a native speaker talks - odd word choices, differing word order; like the east german infiltrator in Die Hard III that tips off McClaine, or how lots of Asian-language natives have issues with pluraling words ('Many book' instead of 'many books') - and they really out you as someone who's not a native to the language and is still translating things from their native dialect to English that don't quite map 1 to 1.

Wu does the same thing when doing his not-so-humble brags & inventing new incidents in his past, and you have nailed it perfectly, that uncanny valley feeling of it not being quite right but John not understanding how normal people actually talk.

6/7; had to take off a point for not mentioning Space Camp.
 
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Peace and Harmony said:
That's cute John! Children are getting raped to death in Yemen.

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I love the little combover that John is using in a failed attempt to hide the male pattern baldness at his temple. And those bat wings make his upper arm look twice the size of his thighs.

What a lovely creature.
 
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