Brianna Wu / John Walker Flynt - "Biggest Victim of Gamergate," Failed Game Developer, Failed Congressional Candidate

[Peace and Harmony]

A statistician tells his colleague that he is terrified of flying. When asked why, the statistician responds that the probability of there being a bomb on a flight is simply too high for him to stomach.
Some time later, the colleague is surprised to meet the statistician at the airport. "What changed your mind?" he asks the statistician.
"Well, I did some research into the probability of there being two bombs on a flight, and it's remarkably low," the statistician replies. "Therefore, I started carrying one in my own suitcase."

 

[Norvic]

Absolutely pumped to sperg on twitter for another two years and then lose an election.
How long before this new enthusiasm wears off? Thursday?

 

[Peace and Harmony]

How about you lost because you couldn't be fucked to do anything at all?

 

[Von Clausewitz]

How about you lost because you couldn't be fucked to do anything at all?

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What message? "For a bolder democratic party"? I have seen better slogans on the Autobahn while staring at the back of trucks belonging to third-class haulage companies.

I would like to have a job like her: Sit on your ass for three years and tweet, then - at the last moment - you find some un(der)paid idiots who collect money for you. The only thing you need to do is occasional virtue signaling and coming up with bat-shit theories, so you stay in the public mind.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

How about you lost because you couldn't be fucked to do anything at all?

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Your "message" was more or less that you were Brianna Wu and everyone should bend the knee to you. When you're entire campaign was about you and nothing else, how are you not a bad candidate?

 

[Norvic]

Uh huh.

I guess we can expect that about the same time as your piece on Milo or your eulogy for Evelyn (Ethel?)
Imagine thinking that a national newspaper is going to be interested in publishing the post-mortem for a vanity congressional campaign.

Bonus:

Oooh, bad luck John.

 

[Caddchef]

What message? "For a bolder democratic party"? I have seen better slogans on the Autobahn while staring at the back of trucks belonging to third-class haulage companies.

The way Wu's hairline is going in two years she'll be able to run under the slogan "For a balder Democratic party".

 

[Leibowitz]

In tribute to Brianna's temporarily dashed Congressional ambitions, here is a slightly modified excerpt from Ernest Lawrence Thayer's famous poem, Casey at the Bat.

Spoiler: Johnny at the Bat

...
From MA-8, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of leaded waters on a stern and distant shore;
"Kill him! Kill the DINO!" shouted Warren from the stand;
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Johnny raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Johnny's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the primary go on;
He tweeted to his donors, and once more the deadline flew;
But Johnny still ignored it and the FEC said, "Strike two!"

"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered "Fraud!"
But one scornful article from WaPo and the audience was awed.
They saw his head bob to and fro, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Johnny wouldn't let that DINO win again.

The snarl is gone from Johnny's lip, his niblets are clenched in hate,
He pounds with cruel violence his husband's wallet upon the plate;
And now the voters hold the ballots, and now they let them go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Johnny's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
A Porche is revving somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
In New Zealand kiwis laugh, and on Twitter orbiters shout,
But there is no joy in Dedham - mighty Johnny has struck out.

 

[AnOminous]

Plus there is always a chance a real progressive candidate swoops in and runs against Lynch stealing her thunder.

The fact that a horrifying ghoul who is also a brazen scam artist who put zero effort into it got 20% is sort of a bat signal for someone real to swoop in and drink her milkshake (and eat her Potbelly).

It's not an ultra-progressive district but there's no real reason to be a DINO there. It's not like you need Republican votes to win. It's a middle of the road seat, but it's middle of the road Democrat. Compare to someone like Jon Tester, a conservative-ish Democratic Senator who has to appeal to a majority of Montanans. That's a guy with an excuse to be squishy on some issues.

In tribute to Brianna's temporarily dashed Congressional ambitions, here is a slightly modified excerpt from Ernest Lawrence Thayer's famous poem, Casey at the Bat.

Unfortunately, I think John can take a win on this. It won't get him anything but bragging rights, but he did a lot better than a completely fraudulent, unqualified candidate with a repulsive personality and horrifying face should have.

Look at that, he's got the evil laugh and everything. Would you vote for a candidate who has an evil sidekick?

He's the evil sidekick in a Filmation show who complains to the heroes about how badly the villain treated him. Well, duh, he's the villain.

"Well, I did some research into the probability of there being two bombs on a flight, and it's remarkably low," the statistician replies. "Therefore, I started carrying one in my own suitcase."

This is why you never trust a Bayesian.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

He was afraid of showing his mug during this entire campaign. Given the current dog-aging he's experiencing, he's going to look like a seven foot tall sleestak in two years.

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

How about you lost because you couldn't be fucked to do anything at all?

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You didn't have the wrong message because you didn't have a message at all you shitposting goblin.

 

[Norvic]

Wu has been completely memory holed in the post election coverage as far as I can see.
We've gone from "Brianna Wu is also running" tacked on to articles about real candidates to "literally who?" overnight. Wu's kidding herself if she thinks she has some sort of public profile. She got press as a curiosity only and it won't repeat itself for her.

 

[Sissy Galvez]

How about you lost because you couldn't be fucked to do anything at all?

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Have we seen other serious candidates as autistic as Brianna Wu and tweeting stupid shit like this? These tweets are signs he’s super mad at losing and trying to rationalize his loss with himself and control the narrative with his orbiters.

No, John, you’re an idiot and you lost because your campaign sucked. Brianna Wu is a a lazy fucker who tried to exploit others to do work he should have done as the candidate.

 

[Mola Ram]

Have we seen other serious candidates as autistic as Brianna Wu and tweeting stupid shit like this? These tweets are signs he’s super mad at losing and trying to rationalize his loss with himself and control the narrative with his orbiters.

No, John, you’re an idiot and you lost because your campaign sucked. Brianna Wu is a a lazy fucker who tried to exploit others to do work he should have done as the candidate.

At least he finally learned how to spell "candidate."

 

[Keep Yourself Safe]

20% and he had a grand total of 3 endorsements, a shit ton of positive press in national newspapers and online, and some viral tweets.

What a goddamn joke. Ayanna Pressley outclassed John in every possiblr way.

Over the moon with that result, hope Ayanna sticks by her guns and doesn't end up selling out and being another corporate Dem.

YASSS KWEEN!

In tribute to Brianna's temporarily dashed Congressional ambitions, here is a slightly modified excerpt from Ernest Lawrence Thayer's famous poem, Casey at the Bat.

Spoiler: Johnny at the Bat

...
From MA-8, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of leaded waters on a stern and distant shore;
"Kill him! Kill the DINO!" shouted Warren from the stand;
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Johnny raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Johnny's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the primary go on;
He tweeted to his donors, and once more the deadline flew;
But Johnny still ignored it and the FEC said, "Strike two!"

"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered "Fraud!"
But one scornful article from WaPo and the audience was awed.
They saw his head bob to and fro, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Johnny wouldn't let that DINO win again.

The snarl is gone from Johnny's lip, his niblets are clenched in hate,
He pounds with cruel violence his husband's wallet upon the plate;
And now the voters hold the ballots, and now they let them go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Johnny's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
A Porche is revving somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
In New Zealand kiwis laugh, and on Twitter orbiters shout,
But there is no joy in Dedham - mighty Johnny has struck out.

YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!

 

[AnOminous]

No, John, you’re an idiot and you lost because your campaign sucked.

He lost because of exactly what he said. He lost because he's a shitty person and a shitty candidate. No amount of lipstick on that pig would make it fly.

 

[Sissy Galvez]

We should take a walk down memory lane and remember Wu’s famous promises he made but never followed through.

Like how Brianna Wu claimed he would hire black staffers and work hard to earn the black vote and yet never did. Or how he would hold town halls and never did.

I think the only campaign events he held were that stupid Star Wars event where he lost money on renting the theater and his two embarrassing twitch streams.

Gee wonder why you lost Brianna, doesn’t seem like it was newbie campaign mistakes. Really seems like it was all you, constantly lying and not following through on anything.

 

[Norvic]

We should take a walk down memory lane and remember Wu’s famous promises he made but never followed through.

Like how Brianna Wu claimed he would hire black staffers and work hard to earn the black vote and yet never did. Or how he would hold town halls and never did.

I think the only campaign events he held were that stupid Star Wars event where he lost money on renting the theater and his two embarrassing twitch streams.

Gee wonder why you lost Brianna, doesn’t seem like it was newbie campaign mistakes. Really seems like it was all you, constantly lying and not following through on anything.

My favourite is that she promised to go work on a construction site for a weekend to learn how the plebs live.

 

[An Ghost]

Shout out to Wu’s Cali donors and twitter followers who said “if I lived in your district I’d vote for you,” and the nice white lady and her rich friends who let John make a speech at that really nice house out of district in Cape Cod or Martha’s Vineyard for some reason. Let us remember the unwatchable campaign ads that got less than 1000 views on YouTube with comments disabled. I look forward to Wu embarrassing himself in new and exciting ways next cycle.

 

[Very Honest Content]

Where's the write-in general election campaign, John?