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- Dec 3, 2017
They are too cowardly to fap to him as-is.
Bikini Armor Battle Damage - Hypocrites and Sexy Art
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- Jul 12, 2014
I can give credit when it's due and I kind of like this redesign even if they turned the character non-binary and removed the breasts. What I like is she looks more fawn-like.
With this one, I can't help thinking, "this poor girl" when I see it. With the armor being so close to her chest, her boobs would need to be non-existant, because it would painfully squish in even an A-cup's.
With this one, I can't help thinking, "this poor girl" when I see it. With the armor being so close to her chest, her boobs would need to be non-existant, because it would painfully squish in even an A-cup's.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
Stitched-in pockets weren't invented until the 17th century, so the joke's anachronistic in the first place. Before then, people used leather pouches (like the Highland sporran). As for being non-binary, well, that didn't become common until the 21st century, so that's even worse.
Bigger problem there is that the breastplate extends below the natural waist, so she can't bend over or sit down properly. It's also flat, so it doesn't deflect the force of blows very well. Real breastplates were domed and stopped at the natural waist, with the abdomen being covered by the faulds. The plates don't overlap, so points can slip into the gap between the pauldrons and the breastplate. Also no helmets at usual, despite that being the first bit of metal armour anyone would get.
No one who draws these has ever actually worn armour, even a modern day plate carrier (which has some similar principles, like stopping at the natural waist). Check out Knyght Errant / Ian LaSpina on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jftedhuCFw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmTfP4BeP3I
EDIT: Bloody hell, she's wearing her maille shirt UNDER her clothes. To say that would be uncomfortable is to say that Chris is a little slow in the mind. It gets worse and worse the longer you look at it.
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RadicalCentrist
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2017
Also those "pockets" are going to spill their contents immediately, to say nothing of the pauldrons tied directly to the breastplate limiting mobility. Looking again, those pants even have stitches at the hips which would be a far better place for those pockets but I guess that doesn't get the "point" across.
Anyway, if you had the means to deck yourself out in plate armor, you would be guaranteed to have a squire/page to hold all your stuff. The reason historical authenticity is usually not a priority in fiction is because the boring logistical details gets in the way of the narrative.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
There's also the sword sheathed on her back which is completely impractical, if it's proportions could even be wielded.
Making a "realistic" breast plate for ass pats is the extent of these redesigns.
Making a "realistic" breast plate for ass pats is the extent of these redesigns.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
Is not looking completely exceptional a "boring logistical detail"? Because I think some lolcows would love to use that excuse. Sounds like something Chris would say about showering, if he were a little more eloquent.
Someone with that level of wealth would definitely be able to afford a servant, though not all people who wore plate armour were actual noble knights with squires.
The sword is definitely horrible; quite apart from it being so big and heavy she couldn't lift it (despite real swords being only 1-3 kilograms) and in a position where it's near impossible to draw, it has an exposed blade, so it can cut things and people and get chipped and go rusty as she walks around. Her budget didn't stretch to a scabbard, apparently.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
Swords being improperly sheathed has bugged the shit out of me ever since it was explained. Same thing happened when the concept of trigger discipline was pointed out to me - sticks out so badly when done wrong.
Autistic, etc.
Autistic, etc.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
Trigger discipline wasn't practised widely until the late 20th century (Jeff Cooper was a notable advocate - early 20th century gun safety guides don't usually mention it, though they do mention muzzle discipline), so it's not ahistorical to have even trained troops running around with their fingers on the trigger up until the cold war era.
Exposed sword blades in sheaths and back scabbards are a whole other level of stupid, to the point where even pre-industrial armies avoided it due to basic common sense. Romans and men at arms didn't want to accidentally stab their horses or comrades or stools they were sitting on with an exposed sword blade, not to mention the risk of rust.
Even with scabbards, British imperial troops didn't bother sharpening their swords unless they were about to go on active service.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Today we got a real winner of a redesign: ugly poofy pants and feathered leggings that make it look like she's got hairy legs. Granted the original design wasn't any better.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
Nah, they should just have made her a troon landsknecht with a "feminine" codpiece. Still passes better than most of the troons here.
Puffed and slashed cloth was a way of showing off wealth. So many of these characters dress in drab colours when based on a period where knights and nobility were flamboyant and even peasants didn't wear brown and black all the time.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2016
>mfw I come here not to laugh at the cow but for the sweet, sweet knowledge about plate and cod pieces
Thexenoclop
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2019
One for monster hunter
bikiniarmorbattledamage.tumblr.com
Another soul caliber one
bikiniarmorbattledamage.tumblr.com
Whatever this is
bikiniarmorbattledamage.tumblr.com
I espically find the monster hunter one to seriously stupid since it is a series which have is both kinds of armor and complaining about it is a seriously foolish thing to do given the fact you use giant oversized weapons to kill giant monsters, but hey, maybe I expect to much from them by this point
Bikini Armor Battle Damage
Poking fun at risks of being a half-naked Strong Warrior Woman. Home of the Female Armor Bingo card
Another soul caliber one
Bikini Armor Battle Damage
Poking fun at risks of being a half-naked Strong Warrior Woman. Home of the Female Armor Bingo card
Whatever this is
Bikini Armor Battle Damage
Poking fun at risks of being a half-naked Strong Warrior Woman. Home of the Female Armor Bingo card
I espically find the monster hunter one to seriously stupid since it is a series which have is both kinds of armor and complaining about it is a seriously foolish thing to do given the fact you use giant oversized weapons to kill giant monsters, but hey, maybe I expect to much from them by this point
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- Joined
- Jun 29, 2013
> Cassandra
> No helmet
You know who else didn't wear a helmet in Soul Calibur? 99% of the cast.
> No helmet
You know who else didn't wear a helmet in Soul Calibur? 99% of the cast.
CamelCursive
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
Imagine being such a hideous, unfuckable cunt and being threatened by drawings of cartoon girls.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
I'm surprised they like this one given it has boobplate and no helmet.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
One for monster hunter
Bikini Armor Battle Damage
Poking fun at risks of being a half-naked Strong Warrior Woman. Home of the Female Armor Bingo card
Another soul caliber one
Bikini Armor Battle Damage
Poking fun at risks of being a half-naked Strong Warrior Woman. Home of the Female Armor Bingo card
Whatever this is
Bikini Armor Battle Damage
Poking fun at risks of being a half-naked Strong Warrior Woman. Home of the Female Armor Bingo card
I espically find the monster hunter one to seriously stupid since it is a series which have is both kinds of armor and complaining about it is a seriously foolish thing to do given the fact you use giant oversized weapons to kill giant monsters, but hey, maybe I expect to much from them by this pointView attachment 899273View attachment 899278
Imagine trying to walk through a doorway in that spiky armour. Horrendous.
I was looking at AstroRad radiation vests and these would probably incite some serious rage.
They're an American-Israeli collaboration so they're doubly problematic. Based on this thread they'd probably cover them in spikes so they couldn't get in the capsule.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
You gotta love how snotty they sound here...
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2016
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2018
It's like a topographic map of their bodies. It's weirdly revealing and concealing at the same time. Maybe this is the work around?Imagine trying to walk through a doorway in that spiky armour. Horrendous.
I was looking at AstroRad radiation vests and these would probably incite some serious rage.
They're an American-Israeli collaboration so they're doubly problematic. Based on this thread they'd probably cover them in spikes so they couldn't get in the capsule.