Bikini Armor Battle Damage - Hypocrites and Sexy Art

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Tolkien's Dwarfs, which just about everything fantasy uses as a reference these days, canonically had facial hair on both sexes. One of the complaints LOTR fans had about Amazon's Rings of Power series was that the Dwarf women had no beards. It's just a Dwarf thing. I hate the fact that it's being hijacked by these prissy, self-obsessed little weirdos and used as some sort of "own" against the chuds.
 
Dwarves with facial hair has been a thing for a long time and people can get pretty pissy about it.

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It's even with their goddesses.

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But Ozzy's just a faggot about it.
 
Dwarves with facial hair has been a thing for a long time and people can get pretty pissy about it.

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It's even with their goddesses.

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But Ozzy's just a faggot about it.
Dwarf ladies having beards was traditionally about two things. One most if not dwarves were described having beards and females rarely popped up. Two dwarves aren't supposed to be human, just magical creatures that are kinda like humans. So having bearded ladies be a standard to them plays with these both aspects. Writing it doesn't even look that wierd becouse it's just mind theater, you can get away with alot fun symbolic shit that sounds cool but might actually look silly.
 
Dwarf ladies having beards was traditionally about two things. One most if not dwarves were described having beards and females rarely popped up. Two dwarves aren't supposed to be human, just magical creatures that are kinda like humans. So having bearded ladies be a standard to them plays with these both aspects. Writing it doesn't even look that wierd becouse it's just mind theater, you can get away with alot fun symbolic shit that sounds cool but might actually look silly.
Hell, it's even easily explainable in technobabble...

Dwarves have more testosterone in their bodies due to higher muscle mass and bone density, meaning the females have beards and are muscular and heavy boned too.

Boom.
 
Honestly, I'm not actually that enthused by bearded dwarven women. It feels a little too tacky and I think it sounds more like a joke that went too far. I'm more into the Germanic shortstack when it comes to dwarf women, both because it's attractive and I feel like beards equating to toughness even in women starts to edge into Reddit and legbeard territory.
 
I'm honestly not too bitchy about Dwarven women having beards since it's actually fairly common in fantasy. Tolkien's do and Zoltan mentions in The Witcher 3 that Dwarven women have beards as well.

Ironically Dragon Age (the first one) is one of the few fantasy properties where we see dwarven women without beards.
 
Honestly, I'm not actually that enthused by bearded dwarven women. It feels a little too tacky and I think it sounds more like a joke that went too far. I'm more into the Germanic shortstack when it comes to dwarf women, both because it's attractive and I feel like beards equating to toughness even in women starts to edge into Reddit and legbeard territory.
My problem with bearded female dwarves is that they retain literally every. single. other. sexually dimorphic characteristic from humans, except for the beard. They still have breasts, a more slender figure, wider hips, thicker thighs, and a generally softer facial structure. Simply tacking on beards because of a single line from Lord of the Rings (where no female dwarves are even mentioned by name, IIRC), even though Gimli points out male and female dwarves look very much the same, makes no sense to me.

I'm much more a fan of "dwarf men get beards, dwarf women get hair", with the addendum that all that fancy shit you see the men doing with their huge cascading beards? The females do with their hair. Lots of volume, braids and bangles. Taking as much pride in maintaining their hair as the men do with their beards. Shit like that. And absolutely no sideshaves. Fuck that terminally overused hairstyle.
 
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My problem with bearded female dwarves is that they retain literally every. single. other. sexually dimorphic characteristic from humans, except for the beard. They still have breasts, a more slender figure, wider hips, thicker thighs, and a generally softer facial structure. Simply tacking on beards because of a single line from Lord of the Rings (where no female dwarves are even mentioned by name, IIRC), even though Gimli points out male and female dwarves look very much the same, makes no sense to me.

I'm much more a fan of "dwarf men get beards, dwarf women get hair", with the addendum that all that fancy shit you see the men doing with their huge cascading beards? The female do with their hair. Lots of volume, braids and bangles. Taking as much pride in maintaining their hair as the men do with their beards. Shit like that. And absolutely no sideshaves. Fuck that terminally overused hairstyle.
I also stand on having dwarven women get rather substantial breasts, to amplify the “impressive build, stubby legs” dynamics dwarf men get. There was a little joke about the coming-of-age ritual of 40k's space-Cossacks (the Vostroyan Firstborn) that fits my idea of what dwarves ought to be like:
They like their moustaches. Their coming of age is sprouting a four foot long moustache and goatee combo, if male; if female, on your 16th birthday you take a deep breath and pop out breasts like a squeeze toy. Such is their affinity for the moustache that anyone with an aversion to body hair is treated as the most traitorous of scum.
So long-haired dwarven shortstacks sounds really fun to me.
 
I usually run that at a glance it's hard to tell male and female dwarves apart. Both are built like tanks. Only breasts and slightly chubby facial features on the females are obvious. Both have wide pelvises for center of gravity, wide shoulders, are muscular, have heavy bones, and thick body hair. Women have breasts, usually pretty fucking big ones, but since chainmail is the equivalent of a nice knitted woolen sweater to them, it isn't obvious at first glance outside of the forge hall. But then, meh, I've always figured dwarven females had beards, hell, probably hair on their tits like that weird girl you knew in 6th grade.

It might not be attractive to us humans, but I figure the thickness and lushness of body hair is a big deal for the dwarves, kind of like having a larger penis than the males is a big deal for elven females.

That's why non-dwarves think dwarves are dying out, claiming they never see any females, often with one in the same tavern with them whose rolling her eyes. I do have a small caveat that female and male dwarves aren't allowed to leave the dwarf hall until they've sired or given birth to three or four children, then they may leave.
 
Oh, Wincenworks, drooling and singing the praises of topless men. (Especially ones that have distracting booger-style nose piercings that ruin the design.) It's like come out of the closet already.
 
Oh, Wincenworks, drooling and singing the praises of topless men. (Especially ones that have distracting booger-style nose piercings that ruin the design.) It's like come out of the closet already.
See, that's what I don't understand about Wincenworks. There's nothing special about that design. Like, it a good design as far as showing skin on a male, since it emphasizes and bulks up the right parts (namely: the shoulders). But it's nothing groundbreaking it either direction. It's like he's just thirsting for thirst's sakes. You're probably right and he really needs to just kick the closet door and step out already.
 
I came to the realization of what Wincenworks's "comedy" reminds me of: Fine Game Girls/Bitches. FGB is a defunct series where the host drools over hot girls in games, except that series was actually funny and that's what BABD tries to be and fails.
 
The original design for the Dark Queen had half of her face covered by her hair most of the time. It was clearly meant to give her a feeling of mystery and allure. This was clearly too interesting for the new Battletoads so I'm glad they scrapped it in favor of a more bland design.

Seriously, why this Dark Queen looks like it fits in with the cast of High Guardian Spice?
Now that I think about it and the previous post, I'm surprised that he doesn't dislike that giant woman from the new Resident Evil game when she's got big boobs, cleavage and men find her sexy.

Anyway, today's debate is about evil women and even if you had one that didn't start out as a victim, the league of fictional women's rights would still complain.
I cannot begin to comprehend Wincenworks argument here. Audiences are more likely to sympathize with a female villain so writers write sympathetic female villains and this is somehow a bad thing? Besides, the character designs are taken from Japanese folklore which prominently feature attractive women who lead unsuspecting men to various dooms. Adapting Japanese horror into your game is worth a thesis apparently.
 
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