Big Gay Ralph - Ethan Ralph is a homosexual

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This year, Ralph's coming for the crown and God have mercy on the man, woman, catboy or tranny that dares to try impede him. This man is so fat, his gunt occupies the whole New Content box of the front page, what a unit.
 

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Mexican Molotov Marauder said:
This year, Ralph's coming for the crown and God have mercy on the man, woman, catboy or tranny that dares to tries impede him. This man is so fat, his gunt occupies the whole New Content box of the front page, what a unit.
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On the contrary, I hear Ralph has a very small unit.
 
Pentamidine said:
I like the Ralph explanation more than the gay explanation.

Girl cheats on BF with Ralph
Girl starts dating Ralph
Ralph installs keylogger on girl's computer because he is INCREDIBLY insecure and has to surveil his girls because he's worried they'll cheat on him or that they aren't into him as they put on.
Girl deeply regrets leaving BF, writes diary note or message or something to that effect. It's caught by Ralph's keylogger.
Ralph is so stunned by this he sends himself an e-mail with the text titled "The Truth". He is devastated by the revelation. Imagine the heartbreak he had to have been going through even to title the e-mail that way - it's like an emo girl's diary entry. Imagine how absolutely bitchmade and womanly that is.

I like the idea of little Ralphie having his poor little heart broken better than Ralph being a closeted homosexual. It's 10x funnier. Under that tough, white trash wigger demeanor is a fragile boy constantly checking his girl's phone and computer because he is just CERTAIN that she is cheating on him. Because to Ralph, what is more unbelievable than a woman having a genuine attraction to him?

God damn he is such a woman.
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Why would a key logger only capture that mail and not a bunch of other shit? That's not how they work.

If it's not the original log, why would he copy paste it from the original file and mail it to himself? Where is the original file?

Are we to simply accept that Ethan Ralph, notorious tech illiterate millenial, knows how to even work a keylogger?
 
If you're gonna be gay and commit crimes to troll Ralph, at least learn how to use IMAP and download the entire guntbox instead of combing through webmail like some kind of zoomer.

(Please don't violate the CFAA, it's serious prison time for this kind of shit)
 
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Fcret said:
If you're gonna be gay and commit crimes to troll Ralph, at least learn how to use IMAP and download the entire guntbox instead of combing through webmail like some kind of zoomer.

(Please don't violate the CFAA, it's serious prison time for this kind of shit)
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Go tell Cog, lol.

Ralph did confirm the mail is real himself.
 
There is no identifying info that Ralph’s ‘girlfriend’ wrote that email. I’m not taking Ralph’s word that she wrote it.
It’s in his possession, with only his name on it as the author.
And I submit that if his explanation is to be taken at face value, that he used a key logger for future use to blackmail his girlfriend for cheating on a dead guy, that behavior is much more shameful, as a so-called man, than having a 4-year romantic relationship, homo or not.
 
RodgerDodger said:
I'm skeptical of this one. Just because I can't picture even the randiest sluttiest gay man on earth going anywhere near Ralph? I mean they may be faggots, but they have standards. And Ralph is well below most standards.
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If you think faggots have standards then that's your first problem, they don't get to 1000+ sexual partners by having standards (or morals for that matter)
 
AntiSchwuletteAktion said:
So did Nora actually have an ex that died a slow death due to liver/kidney failure? That's the key to figuring out if Ralph is lying about the keylogger story
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He met Nora way later than 2013, I think he's referring to that weird alien bitch he had as a girlfriend previously.
 

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Pentamidine said:
Re-read the e-mail, guys

View attachment 4535993

I (Kat) just lost the one person I could turn to no matter what a week ago. I lived with him (dead bf) for 4 years and he was just 26 years old. A year ago I betrayed him by having sex with [Ethan Ralph]. I began dating [Ralph] but continued speaking to him. [Ex BF] was an alocoholic and I was lacking physical passion for him. I still never really let go and I hoped maybe we would reconcile one day. Well I never got that chance because he died suddenly while experiencing excruciating pain from liver and kidney failure. I wasn't even there even though he was always there no matter what....

In the email Kat is clearly cheating on dead guy with Ralph, not cheating on Ralph with the dead guy. Lines up with obit comment.

www.floydmortuary.com

Obituary for Patrick K. Easler | The J.F. Floyd Mortuary

Share memories & support the family
www.floydmortuary.com www.floydmortuary.com

Dude died in 2012



It all fits into what we know about Ralph. He's hyper-possessive, controls his girlfriends' technology so he can spy on them because he is incredibly insecure and expects cheating, and spergs the fuck out at every little thing that happens. Him e-mailing himself the log, titling it "The truth" and putting it IN A FOLDER TITLED TRUTH THAT COG DIDNT ARCHIVE and then probably using it to confront Kat and have a hollerin is 100% what we should expect of Ralph.

That theory makes a lot more sense, to me, than Ralph sending this to himself because he cheated on a secret gay lover with another secret gay lover, and the first gay lover died at the same time and the same age as Kat's dead ex-BF



FWIW, this e-mail aside, Ralph is definitely a secret homosexual. The Memphis Micro actually IS 8 inches long and thick - he just couldn't get it up for a biological woman.

EDIT: Slight hole in my theory - "A year ago I betrayed..." this e-mail is authored Jun 29 2013, but dead BF died Jan 30 2012. So the diary entry or whatever would have to be pretty old by the time Ethan e-mailed it to himself.
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"I just lost the one person I could turn to no matter what a week ago."
In what reality is January 30, 2012 a week ago from June 29, 2013?

EDIT: Shit, I'm blind and missed your edit. The date really does put another hole in his story unless he sat on it for over a year before emailing it to himself for whatever silly white trash reason he could come up with.
 
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I believe this wholeheartedly even if this particular email is fake, because it matches up perfectly with what we know about ralph: he was sodomized by his own father Ronnie when he was young, and on a twisted subconscious level he desired that type of contact so he became an effeminate fat kid, hoping his boy tits would get his dear daddy's attention. This is why he never really made any effort to lose the weight as he aged even when Ronnie left the picture, hence his drifting from daddy figure to daddy figure and his exceptionally emotional reaction to Jim ridiculing him--try and tell me that his drunken outbursts during that hog roast stream were not akin to a faggot with tender feelings.
 
RX-78 said:
I believe this wholeheartedly even if this particular email is fake, because it matches up perfectly with what we know about ralph: he was sodomized by his own father Ronnie when he was young, and on a twisted subconscious level he desired that type of contact so he became an effeminate fat kid, hoping his boy tits would get his dear daddy's attention. This is why he never really made any effort to lose the weight as he aged even when Ronnie left the picture, hence his drifting from daddy figure to daddy figure and his exceptionally emotional reaction to Jim ridiculing him--try and tell me that his drunken outbursts during that hog roast stream were not akin to a faggot with tender feelings.
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When something happens, positive or negative, it sort of shifts the Overton window of your perspective, averaging out the sum of your experiences. The middle of that window is always going to be baseline, right?

So even something as traumatic as getting raped by Ronnie is going to move the window to remain existing inside it. There’s a normalization effect.

On a conscious level, imagine the inside of your mind as a floor of a house. There are different rooms full of different categories of associations by which memories are filed. The room where Ronnie raped Ralph just has its door closed, and becomes subconscious. It becomes part of the Jungian “shadow,” the things about ourselves that we’re not actively aware of projecting onto others.

Worst yet, when Ronnie was pumping away, little Ralph involuntarily, in part instinctually, recognized it as something to file in the “sex” folder. Neural pathways were hijacked, and now arousal has some spillover traffic that routes into the Ronnie room.

Oh yeah, sorry, almost forgot
Trigger warning for fat gay babies
 
Buckaroo said:
"I just lost the one person I could turn to no matter what a week ago."
In what reality is January 30, 2012 a week ago from June 29, 2013?

EDIT: Shit, I'm blind and missed your edit. The date really does put another hole in his story unless he sat on it for over a year before emailing it to himself for whatever silly white trash reason he could come up with.
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Pentamidine said:
EDIT: Slight hole in my theory - "A year ago I betrayed..." this e-mail is authored Jun 29 2013, but dead BF died Jan 30 2012. So the diary entry or whatever would have to be pretty old by the time Ethan e-mailed it to himself.
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oh wait holy shit really? i didnt bother to check the dates since i assume ralph couldnt be that dumb buts it true! why keylog and email yourself something that much later? ETHAN IS A FAGGOT 100 PERCENT CONFIRMED
 
MeltyTW said:
oh wait holy shit really? i didnt bother to check the dates since i assume ralph couldnt be that dumb buts it true! why keylog and email yourself something that much later? ETHAN IS A FAGGOT 100 PERCENT CONFIRMED
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I do not know the specific timeline for this relationship, but knowing the Ralphamale he was probably looking for blackmail or guilt trip material to keep her from leaving.
 
Regarding the issue of the email being a True and Honest expression of Ralph's deepest desires, or a Fake and Gay op to fuck over yet another of Ralph's friend turned enemy: I think we call all agree that, in any case, Ethan Ralph is a massive fucking faggot who deserves every ounce of mockery that comes his way.
 
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