Are you good with confrontation? - How can I improve my confrontational skills?

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mister meaner

mister meaner

I'm not afraid to use my penis if necessary
kiwifarms.net
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Jun 21, 2021
Tmi but if I get in IRL confrontation I go fight or flight and lose my way with words a lil. I told some obese half-indigenous Karen at the store the other week that she was making an idiot of herself for yelling and swearing at a child employee, and then she started berating me instead. I should’ve said nothing, but I felt bad for this very young girl being screamed at by this fat raging hamplanet having worked retail in my youth.

Anyway I was mostly in shock of this hamplanet so I just calmly and firmly repeated to not yell at children while she delivered some unhinged rant about “being a CEO” and “being disrespected”. My heart was beating pretty quick but I kept my cool. Any tips for managing confrontation?
 
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I saw @SandyCat at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
 
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You did the right thing, indigenous mothers are the worst mothers on the planet, and it's nice to remind them that outsiders know.

Regarding confrontation - when you know you are right, not suspect, but know - intervene. Formulate your sentences in your head before you say them. Control your volume. Do not gesticulate wildly like an Italian grandmother. Somebody is abusing their kid, start filming immediately.

Make a nuisance of yourself.
Take back your society.
 
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I have a very hard time dealing with interacting with people I dislike, like it bothers me deeply. I don't understand how other people not only get along normally with it but will go out of their way to smile and compliment and laugh it up with someone and then start speaking ill the moment htey're gone.

Hard as in, I don't want to look at or speak to them at all, I feel tense just being around them.
 
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I had a job handling customers so other employees didn't have to (tech field)

I loaded up my iPod with negotiation tapes and would listen to them on the walk to and from work.

It made me more comfortable with shutting down discussion, or even leading with "No, that won't be possible".

It made me extremely unpopular with dipshiticus karenus, but my boss told me I was "finally getting it."

The biggest revelation is that a scumbag thinks you are mirroring them. They think they can scam you because you scammed them.

In negotiation, these are the people you walk away from. There is no low they won't sink to, and there will not be a compromise.
 
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I'm ready for action 24/7 I have zero fucks to give & even less patience for stupidity plus I hate bullies.
Words, fists or weapons it's all part of the fun. Doesn't hurt I guess being 6'3 & built like a brick shithouse but fuck me dead the amount of people I see just turn a blind eye to shit in a "not my problem" way no wonder we're all fucked.
 
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I took part in a class about interpersonal communication in business, assertiveness (the real type, not shitty courses about generic self-help) and handling stressful situations - they didn't really teach me how to "win" against the other person, it was more about feeling fine with my response hours after the fact and knowing I said the right thing without failing to communicate my intentions. Part of that was understanding how I react under pressure, seeing faults in this reaction (e.g. getting more aggressive, becoming stiff as a board, heart pumping, unable to formulate words, spouting insults etc.) and learning techniques to help accommodate them. You kept your cool and knew your heart was racing, which is a step in the right direction.

And on the other hand, if the other person is doing something I disagree with, techniques exist, too. They're mainly there to help formulate a certain way of speech, as a form of feedback that sends the message across without petty secrets or playing coy. In general, you state concretely what situation or behavior you had an issue with, you state how it made you feel (part of assertiveness is learning emotional intelligence), then what you want to change (no asking please, that undermines your intent). For other situations, like cutting the situation short, refusing to continue a topic, or demanding someone to stop neglecting you, there are techniques for those as well.

I wish I could link you any of these techniques or offer any guides, but I have zero clue what I could consider trustworthy or useful, seeing how the Internet is riddled with cheap knockoffs. There's way more material about this in my mother language and it doesn't translate to English well. Closest thing I found is "I-message", but that's a basic ass method out of plenty.

Either way, what I said can genuinely work assuming the other person is willing to listen, or if you know you'll keep seeing them again (in the workplace or in your circle of friends). But in a genuinely random situation like this against a person who can't control herself and just gets pissy as fuck, yeah, there's no point in following through. Assertiveness is not about always being proactive and always using these methods etc. etc. - if it's not worth it, don't bother.

You did a good thing by standing up for the kid and you've made your intentions clear. That's what matters in the end.
 
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Providence said:
...hanging out with you people.
Click to expand...
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I'm pretty spicy especially when alcohol-fueled; then confrontation becomes my goal. I try to have a good time then some retard has to spout off and I invariably have to insert myself obnoxiously into whatever the cause du jour is, and I don't stutter. I've actually been pretty effective at getting an entire bar to argue over whether or not to even let me speak, which is always a hoot. Driving a tranny to tears is a good time in my book.

But alas, I a) don't drink anymore and b) just stay the fuck home. People are idiots and it's not worth the hassle (plus I don't want to get kicked out of TOO many establishments in case I get a wild hair up my ass).
 
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@mister meaner go yell at people on chat roulette and omegle. Its good practice with little repercussions and allows you to argue with people semi irl. desensitize yourself to insults and work on simple shit like just getting information from people that dont like you.

force people to solve your problems so you will leave faster, make it known that you will get what you want with routine interactions and then people will start to expect you to confront them. make it so theyre mildly intimidated yet dont threaten them just make it known that you give a shit and are willing to do what it takes to get what you want.

The worst anyone can do is tell you to politely fuck off and thats just cause theyre scared little bitch niggers that dont want any real life problems.
 
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