Alright, voting is now currently closed. With three votes each, Hugo and Joseph are tied for the lead. I used my super awesome secret deciding method (a coin flip) and Joseph won this round. A new poll will be open shortly after this update so voting for the next dad can begin.
Poor Brian. He got no votes.
We immediately return to the game's tonal inconsistencies with a thud. For the record, I am using my save where Damien would be on his third date, and will probably use that or similar for my loading adventures. Unfortunately, the game is rather heavy on the autosaves, and will hold
every single one for you in case you want to use it again. Great for save scumming, sucks for someone like me who's trying to see everything.
That's twice now Amanda breaks the ice for us. Well okay, we technically messaged Damien first, then Amanda did our response to his response, but still. Keep a counter of how many saves Amanda makes.
Joseph invites us over to bake treats for the church bake sale with him. It's very much like what my mother would invite one over for, as she is quite religious herself and loves baking, and she makes great stuff. If we ever do a Kiwi meet-up, I might have her bake cookies.
The anchor is a nice touch. Also, we're more worried about dealing with Joseph (a youth minister, not even a priest, as Amanda points out) then we were dealing with Damien. I know the average Tumblr user mixes as well with religion as toilet water mixes with chocolate, but they're not all bad. The church my mom goes to? The priest has a massive beard, piercings, and tattoos all over. And he rides a bike. In other words, be chill, bro!
Box goes on to be very weird, asking Chris who opens the door how the Jeeeeeesus (yes it is that stretched out) is going. Can I please go back to Damien's route? His first date didn't leave me this cringed.
Joseph thankfully brings us in and I feel myself desperately needing to take full control of the daft bastard I'm playing as so I stop putting my foot in my mouth. Also, with the anchor tattoo, anchor on the house, and all the knick-nacks, who wants to bet Joseph is a former sailor man?
The Twins come in after Joseph makes Chris apologize, and we're given a choice to either egg them on with the "creepy twin schtick" or get to baking. I personally would totally egg them on, but Joseph seems to disapprove so I suggest baking.
Our "actually kinda good" moment comes after a loud crash in the kitchen. Joseph is worried about Christie, and Box considers that "half of fatherhood is keeping your kids from finding creative ways to kill themselves, and he's got four. Talk about worry". Box is not incorrect here.
Much like with Damien's library, we get a chance to examine a lot of things. However, without Damien I'm not sure if Joseph will appreciate our efforts. Still, I choose the bookshelf. There's travel/adventure mags, some bibles, some romance novels that are Mary's most likely (it's the wine stains, you see..."wine" stains).
The coffee table has a few crosses and a brass sextant, despite zero of this being rendered on the fucking table in the picture.
On the floor, we spy an expensive silver necklace that seems casually tossed aside. Were this LA Noire or an average adventure game, I would consider this a vital piece of information, but this is Dream Daddy, bitch! We don't get anything like that.
Didn't I tell you to stop reminding me of better games?
In the kitchen itself, Joseph and Christie are having a wonderful time mixing up brownie batter. Joseph proclaims that Christie is so sweet we're gonna have to water her down with spiders. I decide, honorable knight that I am (even though my class says "Wizard") to spoon duel the spider king!
We have fun dueling and trading faux-fairy tale dialogue, before Box gets the upper hand and defeats the spider king. Christie proclaims us to be her hero.
Hold up, we got a contradiction here. After two dates in any combination, we bake a cake for Amanda, and frost it, implying some ability with baking. In this "timeline", we've already done this. I FOUND A PLOT HOLE! NURSE!
Joseph ends up with a little bit of brownie batter on his nose, and Box uses his thumb to clean it off. And then licks it. Joseph blushes. Also, references have been made to something Christie plays with called a "sparkle pony". I have no idea what it is, I assume it's a Copyright-Safe^TM My Little Pony toy, but you at home can imply all you like.
We go to the bake sale after getting Christie, and Christie rockets off to say hi to mom. Joseph mentions his knees aren't what they used to be, and Box also mentions how Amanda at that age wouldn't sit still for nothin'.
"Thou shalt not bear false witness", buddy. To his credit, Joseph shrugs after that, and trust me when I say that I'm just grabbing a line about lying and don't know any lines about not speaking up when something wrong is done. I'm sure one of you guys do, but I'm not about to go pouring over my bible for a silly joke.
There's an ice cream machine and Box wonders how we can compete. Joseph says we can, and I express confidence in our ability, which causes a heart fart. Good, this should be easy.
Mat arrives and asks us how we made them. Box mentally thinks "don't say we used the box". Technically we didn't, we used what we THOUGHT was the box because the box recipe itself went missing thanks to Christie. So I say we improvised. Technically correct. The best kind. Joseph heart farts, and Mat's convinced after Box goes off about how these brownies will not be like any other brownies ever made.
Brian also arrives, saying he could eat 10 brownies. Box thinks that he must resist the urge to be competitive, and let me tell you Box, these choices are easy to make when you tell me what to say before hand. My pick causes Box to jokingly suggest putting him down for 10, but Brian says just two.
Also, it's worth noting: Part of the update I mentioned earlier was fixing some issues with Daisy's model. She's been rather strange looking and out of place with the rest of the art, turns out it's because they were using shit quality images. So they actually patch issues, meaning this game gets one more point above Revolution 60 (there were also some plot inconsistencies cleared up, but that's mostly in Chapter 1 which I am NOT FUCKING GOING BACK TOO).
This perhaps explains all those travel mags.
Craig comes up, and Joseph mentions that he's a hard sell. So I decide to do a bit of tempting, rather than use any old college stories or tell him that you can't spell diet without "die", both of which seem like bad ideas around kids.
Unfortunately, Craig has some Chia Mango pudding at home and the kids have ice cream. Ah well, we tried.
You're wearing a cross, Mary. You're invited to shut the fuck up.
Joseph and Mary obviously have problems with each other, mostly because Mary seems to be a raging bitch when it comes to religious folks, despite, as I mentioned, the fucking cross necklace. I use a brownie to help make Joseph feel better after getting royally #rekt by Mary, and he likes it at least.
Joseph gives us the last brownie, and I end up giving it to Amanda. I'm keeping that good ending if it fucking kills me.
We get an A rating and are immediately dumped back to Dadbook. Seems like there's no more Amanda scenes, or it's spread out a bit. It works, I guess, it means speed-runners get to see enough Amanda content to be satisfied while completionists don't have to deal with a million scenes between dates. I approve.
Next Time: Joseph Round 2!
