🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Wonky Eye said:
I really want this wifey arc (a new era?) to be interesting, but this is the Amberverse. Even cancer was yawn-inducing.
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GargoyleGorl said:
ALR's entire love language revolves around buying people things. Especially when she's in the love-bombing phase of BPD lunacy, she just spends tons of cash on absolute garbage. (Then in true BPD fashion, she builds up resentment about how much money she spends on that person... 'round and 'round it goes.)

This is separate from her trying to financially dominate someone and make them dependent by paying all their bills and rent and not letting them work. Related, insofar as it's ultimately about control, and as far as money plays a central part in her value system (though not so central as calories). But she can't stop herself from buying every bit of bullshit that catches her eye, so she thinks that everyone else actually wants all that shit too. Like, she can't conceptualize someone seeing a t-shirt, say, at the store that they think is funny or cute, and then not buying it. Not because it didn't fit or they didn't have the money -- just because they didn't really need or want another shirt. (Similarly, most people can express a fondness for ice cream or whatever without needing to buy it because they see it. Though on that note, I've often thought that grocery stores are ALR's happiest place on earth -- an absolute wonderland where all consumption intersects. Air conditioned, too! And with scootypuffs!)

So I have to wonder. What would happen if the object of her affection didn't want dollar store trash? I mean, we'll never know because the only people who are willing to pretend to be interested in her are white trash grifters who share her fucked up consumer impulses. But what if a girlfriend said to her, "Hey, I appreciate the gesture, but I really don't need any more candles/key chains/stuffed animals/snapbacks. I know you like buying me things, but please stop doing this."

Her tiny brain would explode into a massive tantrum about how they didn't really love her if they wouldn't accept her gifts of trash. It would be an actual, honest-to-god opportunity for her to self-reflect, analyze, and grow as a person. But again, she'll be spared that because there's lidurally no reason for anyone to get involved with her if not for the Dollar Tree Shopping Sprees.

Just thinking out loud here, I guess. Reading about Wipey has me all contemplative.
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Well honestly, what does her world consist of? Youtube and nothing. I don't find it a far reach that nothing makes her happier than a new thing but she goes about it the wrong way. Some people learn things, some people paint or dance. She literally has nothing going for her besides Youtube. I won't say that she's not a garbage person in a number of ways but buying things probably makes her feel good. It'a like that movie "Confessions of a Shopalolic"
 
notfoodienotbeauty said:
gets swollen.
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This right here is one of the most standout ridiculous excuses she makes.

''I feel and look swollen right now''. She says that shit as if her entire planetary being has swelled without reason.
''I've lost weight but it's not as noticeable because I'm SWOLLEN''.
I've heard it so many fucking times, it's such a ludicrous thing for a 600lb fat twat to say so frequently. She's so bloody monstrous that I highly doubt she could actually tell whether or not any particular area of her body was indeed swollen.

All the other excuses are sad and laughable but the swollen excuse gets me every single time. It's not like she's saying ''oh my ankles are swollen'' or some shit, nope, it's just ''I AM SWOLLEN''.
 
twi1992 said:
Well honestly, what does her world consist of? Youtube and nothing. I don't find it a far reach that nothing makes her happier than a new thing but she goes about it the wrong way. Some people learn things, some people paint or dance. She literally has nothing going for her besides Youtube. I won't say that she's not a garbage person in a number of ways but buying things probably makes her feel good. It'a like that movie "Confessions of a Shopalolic"
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At least Shopaholic's Becky overspent her money on beautiful things.
 
twi1992 said:
Well honestly, what does her world consist of? Youtube and nothing.
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I was watching a video that showcased the issue with rafe, amber Becky and the boys back in the day. Rafe said amber mostly talked about YouTube or food and didn't feel like she really knew her as a real person. This is ambers real life- the fairy tale of YouTube and food. That's it. It's been years of amber going around in circles. Rafe knew her, she's just fucking empty.
twi1992 said:
I don't find it a far reach that nothing makes her happier than a new thing but she goes about it the wrong way. Some people learn things, some people paint or dance. She literally has nothing going for her besides Youtube.
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She could bob Ross that shit and paint with a shitty wig and do a parody or a paint with me and people would watch. She could do outside vlogs. She could sit on her ass and stream Stardew valley or nekopara. Her niche job is just her being a trainwreck. That's her "YouTube" career. YouTube is overflowing with ideas and content and she chooses to be boring out of stupidity and a fear of everything, real or imagined.
twi1992 said:
I won't say that she's not a garbage person in a number of ways but buying things probably makes her feel good. It'a like that movie "Confessions of a Shopalolic"
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Yes and she's very stupid. Her low functioning brain says "Ugg, items good. Items make happy. Give friends. Give girlfriend. Girlfriend happy. Friends happy. Life happy. Skinny now."

She functions on a direct "if X then Y".
She has no room for complex thought.
 
StrawberryDouche said:
There is an old clip floating around of a younger, less porcine Amber admitting she spent all her school years in special ed. She is not stupid, though, she asserts, and informs us that literally everyone who reads her writing is "floored." It is indeed quite flooring.
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Just for clarification, is Special Ed for handicapped kids or just the dumb kids class? I'm not familiar with it. Seems like a US thing.
 
Pinga said:
Just for clarification, is Special Ed for handicapped kids or just the dumb kids class? I'm not familiar with it. Seems like a US thing.
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From what I have read about it online; it's not all short buses and windowlicking in separate classes like we see in the movies.

The wording suggests it's any level of extra support given to those with any special needs over and above the average student.

This can be anything from full blown retard who eats paste and masturbates in public to someone who just has issues with behaviour and concentration, ADHD and other similar naughty-boy conditions could make you eligible for extra support. That extra support could be just having a teaching assistant present or something.

Basically, Bart Simpson would have probably been eligible under the conditions presented in The Simpsons.
 
In the UK there are classes where they shove children who aren't disabled or mentally ill. There was one at my primary school, it was filled with the odd legitimately intellectually challenged student and then a bunch of kids from foster homes (probably missed out on a lot of schooling due to upbringing) and kids who were 100% normal (in regards to health and healthy home environment) but lazy and dumb.

I can imagine Fatty being in a class like that purely because she is both the laziest and the dumbest.
 
TwinkieBooBoo said:
From what I have read about it online; it's not all short buses and windowlicking in separate classes like we see in the movies.

The wording suggests it's any level of extra support given to those with any special needs over and above the average student.

This can be anything from full blown retard who eats paste and masturbates in public to someone who just has issues with behaviour and concentration, ADHD and other similar naughty-boy conditions could make you eligible for extra support. That extra support could be just having a teaching assistant present or something.

Basically, Bart Simpson would have probably been eligible under the conditions presented in The Simpsons.
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Keep in mind that my experience was in a county with 3000 ish residents so our schools are all small. I think the graduating class last year was less than 40 students…. But they kept the special education students totally separate. There were some kids in regular classes who seemed slow, but they managed to keep up academically.

I remember one kid who was definitely autistic and had zero social skills but he was generally a good student and he had a helper who would come to the school once a week. They would call him out of class over the intercom and you wouldn’t see him for a couple hours. I assume she just made sure he was doing his homework and following along in the textbook.

Anyone who was any worse than that went to a class with just one teacher so they didnt have to do the class changes every 45 minutes and they also ate lunch alone before the rest of the school’s lunch periods because of over stimulation or something like that. There were maybe 10 to 12 students in the entire high school that needed that level of attention. 2 or 3 of them did extracurricular activities like band and one girl was in the chorus but they were always scheduled for those classes as their final period of the day I guess as to not confuse them.

It makes me wonder HOW special Ed Amber was/is. I feel like a lot of stuff like “not knowing who Lincoln was” is trolling, but I also know she’s dumb as shit. I just can’t figure out how dumb. She plays it up so much for the camera that we’ll probably never know. She mispronounces words on purpose, especially if she sees comments picking at her for it. God help you if you tell her she said something wrong because she will never stop. But then she’s managed to be on YouTube this long without any tax evasion charges or becoming homeless so she has a grasp on money and she’s definitely smart enough to manipulate other women into taking care of her.

She’s an enigma.
 
mythical mother said:
It makes me wonder HOW special Ed Amber was/is. I feel like a lot of stuff like “not knowing who Lincoln was” is trolling, but I also know she’s dumb as shit. I just can’t figure out how dumb.
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She's smart enough to be able to read, but she's stupid enough that Danielle Steele is her favorite writer for when she's reading grown-up books without pitchurs.
 
Witch Bitch said:
Idk if I agree with the plot that amber is some mega troll. Shes just fucking retarded.
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I’ve always been of the opinion that she trolls more often than not. Having said that, a lot of the shit she says is pure low IQ energy. I mean it’s pretty obvious that she’s not a very intelligent person in general. She is mentally about 13 years old.
 
C3PBRO said:
I mean, I think literally anyone who has a job, a car and doesn't weigh as much as a Galapagos tortoise qualifies as having more of a life than big AL.
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I've flipped or rather helped flip a Galapagos tortoise. Getting ALR back on her feet would be easier imo because more handholds = greater team lift. If both were covered in mud however that's advantage tortoise. Having seen videos of her waddling I can also say with confidence that when motivated, for example when Mr. Tortoise wants to spend time with Mrs. Tortoise, a Galapagos absolutely could beat her in a race.

Zoos constantly weigh their animals for obvious reasons. We had an industrial platform scale that goes up to 1,000 lbs. It has about a two inch step up. Amberlynn is right at the intersection of weight, size/dimensions, and temperament that would get her a ride down to the junkyard. We'd try for an hour maybe, throw a shitty charm bracelet or something on the scale to entice her, but if it's 95+ out or a thunderstorm is coming in, it's time to load up the horse trailer.

TwinkieBooBoo said:
From what I have read about it online; it's not all short buses and windowlicking in separate classes like we see in the movies.

The wording suggests it's any level of extra support given to those with any special needs over and above the average student.

This can be anything from full blown retard who eats paste and masturbates in public to someone who just has issues with behaviour and concentration, ADHD and other similar naughty-boy conditions could make you eligible for extra support. That extra support could be just having a teaching assistant present or something.

Basically, Bart Simpson would have probably been eligible under the conditions presented in The Simpsons.
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Accurate. Probably the biggest change from when Amberlynn was in school comes from No Child Left Behind. There's a magic number to stay under so their performance doesn't count against the district's Adequate Yearly Progress score. Smaller regional districts play a shell game for this reason and make agreements with larger districts to outsource. What's worse than being special ed? Being special ed in a strange and far away place.

Current standards in my neck of the woods are

Essential Skills- This used to be called Severe & Profound. Basically day care to provide respite for families and satisfy the legal mandate that all children must be in school. They will be in the same room until they age out at 22.

Life Skills- Students with global delays. Some in diapers, few non-verbal or selectively mute. They have set goals and are frequently evaluated. Higher IQ kids who can read can possibly catch up after a few years but it's certainly not expected. Functional, mature students might be mainstreamed when they reach junior high or high school but it's purely for socialization and akin to auditing a course in college.

Cross-Category- Students in the general population who have Individual Education Plans. They could be autistic or ADHD or dyslexic etc. Ideally someone from the special education department co-teaches their classes and ensures the IEP is being executed properly and the subject teacher doesn't get bogged down. Schools tend to lump these kids together since resources are scarce. Kids with behavioral issues might be 1:1 with an aide for a while until they can get it under control.

Being remedial in an area and needing tutoring isn't really special ed as we used to know it. Social workers, speech therapists, and occupational therapists provide services to anyone but qualifying doesn't exactly put you inside the bubble. Life skills students likely see all three though.
 
needs tree fitty said:
I bet you could slice an opening in it and live in it for warmth during the winter months.
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Owlflaps said:
Maybe once Amber becomes broke and passes away on the streets, a hobo can slice her gunt open to live inside of it. She's practically a whole tent.
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