"Hello hello. Welcome to a new vlog". Improper intro.
"Today is the travelling day" We know; we read the title. Get to the point where Kristine and her BF have to grease your flanks and side lumps to squeeze you through the side door of the van.
Pointless blathering... and shows the mountain of crap she's bringing.
*** SHE'S TAKING ALL THREE PETS!!! ONE WAY TRIP UNOFFICIALLY CONFIRMED! ***
Wasabi sighting (it's hard to see, but I think I can see him in the carrier on the left. Rarity is channeling her inner Andy Dufresne and trying to tunnel her way out of her cell.
JUMPCUT!! In the car at a 7-Eleven for snacks (that Methma is going in and getting for her). Amber pretends she's not going to get beef jerky. Amber pretends that she's too nervous to think about food.... while thinking about and talking about food.
Methma starts the trip by giving Ambo a trashbag, because she knows Ambo's a slob.
Cigarette break while Ambo shames her mom about not immediately knowing which lever was for the wipers on a fully loaded vehicle that she's never driven before. How about you drive then, Ambo? Oh yeah, you're too fucking stupid to learn how.
Driving B-Roll in Kansas *SKIP*
Another stop to 'stretch laaaaygs' and a smoke break. Amber's disappointed that the Subway they stopped by is closed. JUMPCUT!! Aaaayg bagel and hashbrown from McDonalds.
JUMPCUT!! Another stop for gas (and snacks). With each stop, their ETA keeps getting later and later (either because the 'A-Team' here needs to constantly stop for smoke breaks, or because Ambo needs to constantly stop for snacks).
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Oh, finally after Ambo's THIRD fucking snack break, the bitch decides to put some water in the cat kennel. What a cunt.
Driving B-Roll in Missouri. Oh look, a bridge. Or as Ambo calls it, "street art".
JUMPCUT!!! Dunkin Donuts for lunch. Gotta fatten herself up for Slommii! Amber pretends she can't eat her hot dog because she's dainty and it doesn't look cooked.
SWELLEEEEEN Update: She has swelling already from the 7 hour car ride. And it's totes from the car ride and not from the diet coke, hashbrown, Egg, bacon, cheese breakfast bagel, sugary drink, jumbo hotdog in pastry, and mini bagel bites stuffed with cream cheese and loaded with seasoning.
No sound from the cats. They're sleeping... or dead. Amber doesn't bother to check which it is.
Driving B-Roll in Iowa.
Amber finally gets some water. Step-dad is getting a headache molment from dealing with the Hambeast all day.
JUMPCUT!! Shopping again... for Chapstick! Bitch packed half her apartment, but didn't bring chapstick. Amber talks about all of the stops they've made and is glad that she's with people willing to do that. Not so subtle shade thrown at Jade for her record time run from Lexington to OKC last year.
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UPDATE!!! Chapstick is working! Oh thank GOD, we were so worried. How much longer? Ugh, still two minutes left.
JUMPCUT!! Another snack stop. Cupcake lighter!! So kyute! *SKIP*
JUMPCUT!! Now at a Wommart.. in WISCONSIN! Amber does the M600PL James' "OW MY LAAAAYGS!" Amber says she's easily retaining like 15 POUNDS of fluid. Bitch, you ATE 15 lbs of food while sitting bored in the car.
JUMPCUT!! Operation Dumbo Drop was a success! Ambo's safe and is pretending that she has showered.... though I'm not sure what I'm looking at. Is this Slommii's place? My first thought was that this was a motel or something? IDK, WE GOT THROUGH THE VLOG! YAAYYYYY!
Chin dabs and blows kisses "Byeee!". Fuck you, Amber.
. So swollen, but it's because of the CAR, and not the constant stream of sugary drinks and high sodium ultra processed foods being shoved into her face the whole time. Not so subtle shade thrown at Jade when Amber talks about how wonderful it was to travel with people who wanted to stop and take breaks.
