🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Ok I don't believe her weigh ins for one second. I don't follow amber all that closely since the wipey era because she has been so boring. Does anyone recall when she purchased a new scale probably mid last year with a weight limit of 550? Just wondering if anyone has the clip where she mentions it because I have doubts that she's actually 515 lbs while presenting like 2019 amber
 
Here is my yearly list of Amber's weight goal resolutions:

2014: Starting weight: 377 pounds Goal: 300 pounds (loss of 77 pounds) Result: Gain 8 pounds

2015: Starting weight: 385 pounds Goal: 370 pounds (loss of 15 pounds) Result: Gain 65 pounds

2016: Starting weight: 450 pounds Goal: 330 pounds (loss of 120 pounds) Result: Gain 35 pounds

2017: Starting weight: 485 pounds Goal: 385 pounds (loss of 100 pounds) Result: Gain 4 pounds

2018: Starting weight: 489 pounds Goal: No goal but she will try to lose weight Result: Gain 71 pounds

2019: Starting weight: 560 pounds Goal: 400 pounds (loss of 160 pounds) Result: Gain 12 pounds

2020: Starting weight: 572 pounds Goal: 445 pounds (loss of 127 pounds) Result: Loss of 45 pounds

2021: Starting weight: 527 pounds Goal: 427 pounds (loss of 100 pounds) Result: Loss of 22 pounds

2022: Starting weight: 505 pounds Goal: 350 pounds (loss of 155 pounds) Result: Gain 15 pounds

2023: Starting weight: 520 pounds Goal: 400 pounds (loss of 120 pounds) Result: Loss of 5 pounds

and finally:

2024: Starting weight: 516 pounds Goal: 416 pounds (loss of 100 pounds)

Besides having a fancy new colourful calendar, she does not have a plan to lose weight. She is talking about getting a new psychologist, probably HAES one. I would not be surprised if Amber would start talking again about having bariatric surgery. From what we have seen in the last 10 years, the chance that Amber would meet this goal is negligible.
 
Amber's what, 5'3? Anything much over 150 elbees is just FAT.

She likes the way she looks, it makes her special. She'll never voluntarily lose much.
 
first weigh in of 2024, jack in the box taste test, getting my nails done, & grocery shopping | vlog

 
Plot Summary with Commentary, readable in less than 3 minutes (because none of us got time for this shit). When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was promising her audience the same goals that she's been promising for the last 10 years on YouTube, including weight loss that will never happen. The clock's ticking; take us in!

"Hey Guize!" Proper intro.

Today is "the day before January 1st" in the Amberverse. Amber pads out the video by pretending to not know if there are 30 or 31 days in December.

Earring talk to pad out the video.

Amber's deciding whether she wants to drink tonight or not. Claims to want to go into 2024 "alcohol free a little bit".

JUMPCUT!! Looking at various nail samples in a basket as Amber's getting a set of acrylics. Eleventy-bazillions colours to choose from and Amber chooses ... matte black. Methmam gets...

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Also, WTF is up with them showing their nails "claw style"? Everytime I've seen a woman show off their nails, it's always been fingers stretched out straight with palms down. Is this weird to you, or is it just me? Anyway, I'm drifing and we have a 150 second time limit so let's move on.

JUMPCUT!! Grocery shopping including raw veggie and cottage cheese nonsense, bananas (that she doesn't like), sodium water, and new cleaners to hoard and not use! Blair Witch hurpling action as she enters the chip aisle with the excuse that she's looking for the peanut butter (you shouldn't be eating EITHER).

JUMPCUT!! Dropped off all of veggies to rot in the fridge. Now out to a restaurant with Methmam and BF for the REAL MEAL!

JUMPCUT!! Back at home. Twinkie's butt is in the shot - 1 of 3 pets accounted for.

Amber claims it's 9:14pm. She ordered alcohol over two hours ago and it's still not here, so she managed to get over her phone anxiety to give customer service shit about it. Long bullshit story about her order to pad out the video. She's now waiting for the delivery so she can sit and get drunk all alone in her apartment for the new year like the loser she is.

Amber also ordered Jack in the Box, despite JUST EATING out with her mom and mom's bf a few hours ago (and having an entire fridge full of food). She'll totally get on track tomorrow guize. It's the first day of the first month of the year AND it's a Monday! How could she fail!??? (Don't answer that - it was sarcasm)

JUMPCUT!! In the faux shearling coat with her fast food and booze. Amber tells her audience that the time on her microwave and stove are wrong to make people think that Amber isn't degenerate enough to be drinking alone and eating Jack in the Box at 8 in the morning on January 1st.

[She is... and she probably is]

Buzzball and Jack in the Box talk to pad out the video. Hurpling for humiliation clicks. Eating on camera and groaning for degen clicks. Drinking on camera for degen clicks. Amber didn't get her curly fries - a change from her usual ordering apples and instead getting multiple orders of fries/chips.

Amber talks about superstitious bullshit that she saw on TikTok.

It's 12:03, Happy New Year! Amber called her mam and messaged her bestest friend in the world. I thought Jade doesn't want you to contact her anymore, Amber?

[PLACARD: next day]

Camera pointed at the ceiling for a bullshit 'weigh in': January 1st 515.8lbs [with her pannus on the towel rack].

Amber's calendar purchase was to JUST write down her weigh ins. Amber can see herself getting into the 400s...

janewaysmirk.gif


... just in January alone.

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Oh shit, she's serious.

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Target haul!! Dry shampoo and makeup remover wipes (as Amber doesn't shower), and the Ninja Blast to BLAST down mega calories in smoothie form!

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Cottage cheese and mustard time!

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[SKIP]

Pac-Man LEGO reveal [SKIP]

Amber will next work on a knock-off "Astro Boy Robot" set. Byee!!

TL;DR: NONTENT and BULLSHIT. This vlog covers December 31, 2023 and January 1, 2024 in the Amberverse. Amber buys groceries, then goes out to eat, then orders in Jack in the Box and booze to celebrate the new year drinking alone in her apartment. Amber got acrylics and had them painted matte black - but they aren't long enough to summon SassyLynn. Amber buys dry shampoo and makeup remover wipes so she doesn't have to shower, and a new blender to smash in those calories in smoothie form. Ceiling shot weigh in of 515.8lb (pannus on the towel rack), and Amber believes she can get into the 400s in January. 1 of 3 pets accounted for.


[Edited to Add:]

@blubberlubber: Maybe, but I'm doubtful as there's some serious filter fuckery going on that masks much of the facial fatness. Check out this image (stolen from Kermit Kaboom):
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It looks like her centre mass is forming a black hole that's sucking her chin into it.
 
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Not watching the nontent. Is that a box of them musty ass eggrolls? Fuck outta here. If you're gonna fat, fat it up right with some monster tacos.
 
FatalTater said:
She likes the way she looks, it makes her special. She'll never voluntarily lose much.
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Her being a big fat worthless fuck also absolves her of much responsibility. We also know she absolutely loves the way she looks with those disgusting unhinged tick tacks she does. If it's another looking at the ceiling "weigh in," then it's bull shit. Like everything else out of her fat fucking maw.
Looking at various nail samples in a basket as Amber's getting a set of acrylics.
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I can't wait to see how fat fuck tries to contort herself so that the nails are always visible. & the accompanying dumb bitch attitude lol. @Boolean Bitch- it is fucking weird to show off nails in that fashion, you're not the only one..
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It looks like her centre mass is forming a black hole that's sucking her chin into it
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The way the filters don't know what to do with the fuct up ass shape of her face. She was wearing some red tarp recently & the filter was strugleeeeen. It looked like her right side was just melteeeen. Her "neck" was blending with her lardy cheek & the earrings were involved... it looked wild. Technology can only do so much!
If you're gonna fat, fat it up right with som e monster tacos.
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Have we ever seen this fat piece of shit ever eat anything good, ever? Lobster? Steak? Crab layugs? (God damn italics won't turn off, oh fucking well) If you're going to be a fat piece of shit, eat nice foods.
 
goodgrief said:
Truly an amazeen video. She'll be paying her bills with youtube forever if this quality persists. She bought a new planner because that's definitely an item she was lacking. Now she's all set and Operation -100lb Buzzball can start. She got some hoop earreens. Shooo kyoot. Definitely doesn't have those.

Also, she got her very best friend in the wooorld a candle. She's the only vlogger gorlie who manages to have friends and a best friend in the whooole wide woooorld that has never been seen or talked about In any of the years she's been plaguing youtube. How someone manages to acquire all these close friends without leaving her home for years. Impossible for most people but not this magical gorl.
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Her very bestest friend in der whole wide werld IS HER MOTHER. Amber always anchors some truth in the lie.
 
Sorry if this was disclosed recently but does mommy meth still work at that call center? I’m just curious about how her times been divided up now with a bf and then spending time driving Amber around on excursions that seems to be half the day long. Maybe he doesn’t give a fuck who knows.

I can’t tell if mommy is doing this cause she feels bad for how Amber turned out or she’s lonely or possibly bolth. Either way I think Amber knows this and is using it in her favor to get groceries that will rot in the fridge and vape shop visits.
 
It’s just so bloody unnecessary. If you can door dash your dinner you can door dash anything. There’s ZERO reason for Mommy to be chauffeuring piglet around other than she wants to / is obligated / pressured into it. There’s a limit to how much entertaining of a ‘guest’ you can do, and Mom must be reaching hers.

Stop being such a dependent useless lump Amber and get your life together. I swear she’s regressing to ‘tweenager’ looking at the state of her appearance, her stupid tiktoks and her dependence on Mommy. None of this is cute. She needs to start smoking meth and chasing crackheads, maybe she should call Nader she needs SOMETHING to revive this dead horse of a channel she is beating. It’s just so… FAT.
 
I think AL probably makes it worth Mama Meth’s time to drive her around. As in buys her stuff, including all the meals out. May even fill her car each time with gas. She could also take an Uber but really does need the socialization with others.
Great point about her doing her self up like a teenager. She always plays some part depending upon her significant other and being with her birth mother has definitely given her a new persona.
 
Surprised Pikachu said:
I swear she’s regressing to ‘tweenager’ looking at the state of her appearance, her stupid tiktoks and her dependence on Mommy. None of this is cute.
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Gotta do what it takes to hook a new caretaker.
The only thing Amber knows is, be cutesy and dumb. If she tried to act like a full grown 33 year old woman she would embarrass herself even more but not in the ways she wants.
 
FatalTater said:
Gotta do what it takes to hook a new caretaker.
The only thing Amber knows is, be cutesy and dumb. If she tried to act like a full grown 33 year old woman she would embarrass herself even more but not in the ways she wants.
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See, thing is, as a twentysomething, she came off as cringe, try hard, gross, and creepy (see Jamocha me crazy as seen on Irked Content).

And now she's, what, 33? So a regressed, SPEDDY, cringe, gross, creep. Who also smells like [REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED] and whatever cringe tween try hard perfume on top of it.
 
Constellationzero said:
See, thing is, as a twentysomething, she came off as cringe, try hard, gross, and creepy (see Jamocha me crazy as seen on Irked Content).
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When she was in Dusty era maybe early Becky era she absolutely had a weird kind of charisma that made her fascinating to watch.

I mean there’s a reason people still form intense parasocial ALR relationships from discovering those old videos years later. It’s not only her being fat and cringe, otherwise that fat mormon housewife or Anna would have reddit boards with posters analyzing their inner thoughts and taking creep shots of their apartments.

Whatever light was in her then is completely gone now tho
 
As vile as Hambie is, there ARE people out there who would get into a relationship with her for whatever godawful reason so I'm not counting our pig out just yet. It's just that the absolute worst people who are desperate enough to get into a relationship with this porker aren't the sort any self-respecting person would want to date at all, but Hammie's got a slim chance and that's all that's slim about her. She's managed this shtick a few times because she was younger but the older people get, the less BS they are willing to put up so that dating pool is drying up faster than a hippo's waterhole in an African drought (especially as times are getting harder for most people - a shitty partner who is wealthy is better than a shitty partner who only takes)
 
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