🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Just caught a clip of her saying ''we went and SAWL Chrismas lights''. Throwing in more extra letters to seem cute and quirky again are we? The little pause after doing this gives her away every time, it's not ''trolling'' when everyone knows what you are doing Fatty.
 
She clearly wrote herself this question about her crushes. Amber does not seem to understand the concept of a crush, perhaps Orange Crush, but not crush. In the Oxford dictionary, a crush is defined as "a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate."

Her answers do make sense unless she was already in a relationship with them. The only way that I could square this circle is that she is talking about Jade, Becky, and Destiny.

Amber also said that she attended a lot of concerts when asked by herself on this subject. I do not remember Amber attending any concert while with Destiny, Becky, or Jade. Perhaps, Amber is referring to primary and secondary school Christmas concerts.
 
Turd Fergusson said:
She clearly wrote herself this question about her crushes. Amber does not seem to understand the concept of a crush, perhaps Orange Crush, but not crush. In the Oxford dictionary, a crush is defined as "a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate."

Her answers do make sense unless she was already in a relationship with them. The only way that I could square this circle is that she is talking about Jade, Becky, and Destiny.

Amber also said that she attended a lot of concerts when asked by herself on this subject. I do not remember Amber attending any concert while with Destiny, Becky, or Jade. Perhaps, Amber is referring to primary and secondary school Christmas concerts.
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She would go to concerts with Krystal. I think on the beach ones. I vaguely remember her bitching about the towels and how uncomfortable the sand was. None of them were modern or pop concerts. Old bands from the 70's and 80's.
 
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If these crushes are real (they're not), it could be plausible that Hamber is talking about the mutual friend who she coincidentally ran into on the streets a few weeks back and could provide an explanation as to why all of her crushes know each other. Amber, however, does not deserve the benefit of the doubt because she is fat and disgusting so it is safe to assume that these characters she has made up are only acquainted within the confines of her pea-brain.
 
I think we are in for a really interesting arc though, a lot of the cows are being impacted by the cost of living and dwindling viewership. the big lolcows; Chantal, DSP, and Cobra are being hurt and the problem is their mindset is impacting how they can recover. A lot of the micro cows are in the same boat too. Amber I can guarantee is there too because, over the past year, she has been cutting back her spending.

It is clear too that her click-baiting has hit its diminishing returns now and she is locked into the audience she has and that is it. With her uploading less and becoming more boring these 50k are going to bail at some point. The only reason her views have jumped is because people are waiting for the next gorlfriend and it is not coming anytime soon. Her views are only higher because there are a handful of reaction channels too and even the most consistent one is growing tired. Alex is one of the only few who makes her content tolerable.
 
She's such a fucking narcissist, as though we don't know she's a repulsive disgusting pig but here she is acting like she's such a great catch and there are tons of people flocking to her. Yeah, like flies on shit, or orbitary moons around large planets.
 
Lol
notfoodienotbeauty said:
Actually Amber has contacted several reactors, and not usually just once, but multiple times. When she doesn't get what she wants she will block them (or they tell her to fuck off) and wait a few months and contact them again.
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Im fucking convinced shes tried to drum up drama between reaction channels and its not even that they arent taking the bait anymore everyones just tired as fuck of her nonsense. Everyones seen her little oh i hate you oh your my favorite reactor song and dance and everyone knows even if they take her failing bait it wont give them any views so they pay her no mind. Shes embarrassing. Putting on tiktok that reactors still need her, holy fuck thats old shit.

Chaotic Pizzaparty said:
I think we are in for a really interesting arc though, a lot of the cows are being impacted by the cost of living and dwindling viewership. the big lolcows; Chantal, DSP, and Cobra are being hurt and the problem is their mindset is impacting how they can recover. A lot of the micro cows are in the same boat too. Amber I can guarantee is there too because, over the past year, she has been cutting back her spending.
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Amber is going to freak out because she again, like last year, cant really afford to take the month of january off even if she wanted to. I think shes under the assumption her manufactured "stalker" arc is so people grab onto it this month and tune in around january to keep up with the drama. More than half of her content is her consooming something so without capital to do that shes fucked.
Chaotic Pizzaparty said:
It is clear too that her click-baiting has hit its diminishing returns now and she is locked into the audience she has and that is it. With her uploading less and becoming more boring these 50k are going to bail at some point. The only reason her views have jumped is because people are waiting for the next gorlfriend and it is not coming anytime soon. Her views are only higher because there are a handful of reaction channels too and even the most consistent one is growing tired. Alex is one of the only few who makes her content tolerable.
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No gf (thats why she says shes not looking for one cause nobodys flocking to her) no meth mom, no drama, no hauls, no mill planneen and *insert diet shes tried 8 times before* just the same 3 buzz balls and an alleged delta 8 gummy for gorl. Shes either gomna have to stage a break in before the paycheck cuttoff for youtube and go silent for january or really start off with something crazy like a video telling chantal to fuck off or start an onlyfans or something for her views to cover basic expenses. The section 8 arc is slowly approaching.

some cunt said:
She's such a fucking narcissist, as though we don't know she's a repulsive disgusting pig but here she is acting like she's such a great catch and there are tons of people flocking to her. Yeah, like flies on shit, or orbitary moons around large planets.
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At least shes showering more it looks like. Shes unable to let herself go like she usually does which seems to be really draining her. Not having the girlfriend she doesnt want may push her to accept a man as a caretaker if one presents themselves as such. Somethings gotta give or were gonna have another failed drunk lynn valentines day stream. She cant stand to see others happy and her not having a boo to abuse will crush her.
 
Plot Summary with Commentary. When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was pretending that she FINALLY was seeing what we were seeing when she looked at herself in a full-length mirror in one of the shops - and then making excuse after excuse as to why there was nothing she could do about it. Alright, now for today's vlog. Let's get this over with.

OOPS!! I accidentally read the title as "shilling a secret" instead of "sharing a secret"... though in my defense, I think that's a more accurate title than what she chose. Ugh, I am also now noticing that the video JUST BARELY passed the 12 minute mark at 12:21, meaning there will be a disgusting amount of filler, *sigh*. Anyway, I'm stalling: take us in!

"Hello hello; welcome to a new vlog". Improper intro.

Amber says she's going to do her typical routine. So.... wake up at 5pm, eat 5000 calories while obsessively searching for new Amber content on Kiwi Farms, Reddit, and Youtube, nag methmam to drive her around, and then cry about her ex or jiggle to shitty music on TikTok? Awesome. AND she's going to film it for us so we don't miss it? Double awesome. :roll:

Insert "All I ate today was ______ " nonsense (almonds, if you care).

Last night she watched the new episode of the new season of 1000lb Sisters, and throws in a clip from when she was watching it. She's pretending to cry while using her pleather shearling coat as a blankie (which would only cover from her neck to her second set of tits). So emotional!

This crying segment goes on for WAY TO LONG (in order to pad out the video). The whole Tammy and Caleb story just "does something" to Amber. Don't be fooled; all of these tears (if genuine), are for Amber alone.

Amber is "so attached to these people that I can't even handle myself". You know, people that she doesn't know in real life, and never gave a shit to get to know any more than to try and start 'youtube beef' with for clicks when she could have gotten to know them?

Insert "Obsessed" remark.

FREEZE FRAME!!
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Picking out ugly Christmas Sweaters with mommy! She chooses the cow one for desperation clicks - fooling no one, as we can clearly see that the largest sweater on that rack isn't anywhere close to an XXXXXXXXXXL. Methmam shows a bit more class... and chooses the one of santa drinking.

And now looking for more fugly purses. It's a fanny pack covered in plastic "diamonds". Y'know, I just got finished watching Scrooge the other day (the Patrick Stuart made-for-TV one), and... do you think that like Jacob Marley, Amber is getting a set a chains made for her? You know, one link for every sweat-shop child labourer who has toiled to make Amber some piece of fast-fashion that she's just ended up giving to Dana or illegally dumping at the GoodWill?

140IQ, Big-Brain Amber realizes that the fanny pack won't fit across her fanny, but actually thinks that she'll be able to wear it as a cross-body bag instead. This is just for engagement clicks - as I refuse to believe that even Amber could be that stupid. If she was, she would have accidentally drowned herself in the washing machine or something by now.

PLACARD: next day

Amber's wearing her pleather shearling coat again. Methmam's taking Amber to grandma's house. I guess "Birth-Canal" drew the short straw today, and it's her turn to babysit.

[No service animals were harmed in the filming of this vlog]

Amber has something on her mind. In a previous vlog, we saw Amber with a Delta8 vape, and it "shocked" a lot of people. Amber was nonchalant in showing that because she doesn't show everything online, but she's been vaping since even before her ex (JADE) and was daily vaping in Kentucky.

Not a surprise, as during the Becky era Amber did a what's in my purse segment for filler, and pulled out a ton of dead, disposible vapes. And let's be real: Amber making bad choices (such as buying gas station vapes of questionable quality) is pretty on-brand for her. This also means that I WAS RIGHT!! This segment SHOULD be called "Shilling a secret"! This is yet more filler.

"Maybe down the line, I can tell you more about some "things" that I've done". No thanks, Ambo; I've already heard the double-handy story more times than I would have liked to.

"A lot of people were shocked". NO ONE WAS SHOCKED YOU VAPED. They were shocked at the lack of consideration you showed to your recovering addict mother. And even then, people who've been watching you for more than a month weren't shocked at that, either.

PLACARD: next day

Amber's brushing her hair in her bathroom. Amber thinks she deserves a reward for the worst vlogger on YouTube. YES! And your reward will be your declining view count! Amber promises that this will improve "soon".

Amber pretends that last night she cut "a lot" of her hair. In reality, it looks like she cut off about 1 inch of dead split-ends. Good job, Ambo. Now only about 16 more inches of dead frizz left to cut off. You can see a bunch of her hair is all broken at about the level of her first set of tits and very little actually makes it down to her third set. Her hair has gotten so thin, it's shocking. I've seen dudes with thicker locks coming out of their ARMPITS.

Amber's getting ready because she's going to tag along with methmam and BF to BF's family's house!!

PLACARD: several hours later.

Amber's back in her kitchen. After visiting BF's family's house, Amber made methmam take her to the LEGO store on the way home. She's not done her current LEGO project, but she needs MOAR!! Remember when Amber said she wasn't going to just shop and fill her new apartment with junk? Kiwi Farms remembers...

AMAZON HAUL!!!... of a single bottle of foundation, and a hideous bottle of Nicki Minaj perfume that she bought herself for Christmas... because it seems like she's gone through about another litre of perfume since the summer.

FREEZE FRAME!!
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"Beautiful"... if by beautiful, you mean "kid melted it's face with a magnifying glass"...

JUMPCUT!! Every Saturday "at noon-o'clock" ... Amber hears the trumpets of Judgement Day! Oh shit, Ambo!! Get ready to wear those chains you've forged in life!! At least you may actually start to lose some weight! Oh, nevermind: it's the weekly test of her OKC's tornado siren. More filler.

Amber now starts talking about snuggies. I just fucking can't with all of this filler. [SKIP]

Now Amber's talking about the "friend" of the subscriber/instagram person that she met when she was getting her snout pierced. She's sticking it to the haydurs because she NEVER TOLD ANYONE about getting her nose pierced before she did it. Nobody could have possibly known, so no way was this a setup and no way is this a stalker!

Okay good, so we've then established that this story was 100% fabricated by Ambo, just like the FBI Frank story, and now she's trying to fix the plot-holes she created. Got it [SKIP]

Amber talks about the "woo" of the universe putting things in her path. No, Amber, you're just so wide that you constantly clip things on the peripheries that the average person moves past without issue.

Amber makes up a story about having a stalker in Kentucky, and promises to tell us about it later. Is she talking about that weird Rob Brown guy?

Amber talks about how she needs to upload more starting in January. To that I ask, what's going to be different in January from December (other than shittier adsense)?

Amber insists she's changed (and then lets the camera drift over to show the yellow bag from the LEGO store that's STILL on her couch weeks later). Oh yes, very different than who she used to be! Amber's been filming what she feels like she's SUPPOSED to film, but she wants to go back to filming what SHE WANTS to film (which is a complaint she's made multiple times over the last several years).

[PRO-TIP for the newbies here who are actually wondering "what if Amber actually HAS changed?" People CAN change, but for the most part they DON'T change. Humans are horribly predictable creatures of habit. When they do change, it's so noticable that you just can't miss it. So if you're encountering someone and asking yourself "have they changed", then NO, THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED.]

Amber finally decides to end the vlog. Amber insists she's going to vlog MORE in January when other YouTubers vlog less. Oh boy, get ready for a "New Year, New Me" video, a "XXX reasons to lose XXX lbs" video, a "what my family got me for Christmas" video, and a medical emergency video. Oh! And the bullshit stalker story. So exciting! Should I just write the reee-caps now? I think I've seen enough iterations of these January videos that I probably could write them before seeing her new videos..

Byee!!

TL;DR: 100% NONTENT FILLER. Amber spends 3 days being a barnicle on her family's ass. First with methmam, then with Grandma, and then with BF's family. Amber talks about all sorts of useless bullshit to fill time, including but not limited to:
  • cutting 1" off of her hair (while insisting she cut off way more),
  • pretending to give a shit about the Slaton sisters,
  • sharing that she's been vaping (crappy gas station) delta8 vapes since the Becky era,
  • retconning the (FAKE) story of the 'friend' of the instagram girl that she met at the piercing place (because she accidentally made the story sound too stalkerish), and
  • promising to share a (bullshit) story about a stalker she had in Kentucky.
Amber promises to upload more in January while the other YouTubers are uploading less.
 
Boolean Bitch said:
pretending to give a shit about the Slaton sisters,
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I wouldn’t be surprised if Amber is mad salty that Tammy lost so much weight and is smaller than her now. Amy too but Tammy was the supermegafat hillbetty that Amber could smugly tell herself she was better, daintier and smaller than.
 
I can see why no one really finds her crying authentic. It's all theatrical. Reminds me of her crying over Becky breaking up with her and we all know what direction that went along with the revelation of what we already knew a out ass wiping.
 
Surprised Pikachu said:
Lil’ Twonk ‘should’ have a good 3 to 5 years left, she’s a little dog and a mutt and they traditionally live longer lives than larger, full pedigrees. In Twinkie’s case however I do hope she sleeps the long nap soon. Must be a hell of a life for her, she gets zero walks or stimulation and Amber is far too self-centred to see her animals as vulnerable, dependent little individuals and not extensions of her quirky gorl personality.

And yes I do believe she drew on her dog. All feelings about the action aside at least own your shit Amber. The flat out lies and gaslighting are beyond frustrating at this point. She’s about to turn 33, it’s time she grew up and acted like an adult.
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I wouldn't be surprised if Twinkie has heart disease from a sedentary lifestyle and shit tier dog food. Plus being obese. If that's the case, she doesn't have a lot of years left in her, I'd reckon.
 
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