🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Amber loves the ways she looks. She thinks she's pretty.
She has to be on a diet so she can make people think she wants to lose weight, especially now that she's trying to hook a new caretaker. So she shows the camera 2 of the meals she had. I'm betting she had more that she didn't show. So clever, this 32-year-old toddler is!

Sigh, I'm going to get so many downvotes (hold on), but Amber is, or could be, could be pretty. But excess weight distorts your features - it doesn't even take crossing the 200-lb mark to do that, especially if you're 5' nothing*. Sure, put her up against the average 500-lb'er, and she's likely in the top x%. But that's a low bar.

And face-fullness preferences or body norms aside, virtually no one's face looks good at 500 lbs., Amber's included. Yes, many people can stop being pretty or handsome, due solely to weight.

I think she doesn't (like Chantal doesn't) really "see" her face objectively, and doesn't see how much the weight both changes and distracts from her good features. The mind brings a lifetime of knowledge and recollection to bear, whether as criticism or cope. Again, this cope/denial can happen at weights a fraction of 500 lbs. (Though it is interesting how much face-change there is even between 300 or 400 and 500/530+.)

*(See, e.g., Lara flynn boyle, brendan Fraser, Bridget fonda, Kelly McGillis, Kathleen Turner, etc - and yes, all of those are unfairly comparing youth vs deep into middle age, and at least one also adds criminally bad plastic surgery - but so also see folks who lost a lot of weight, like Chris Pratt, Perez Hilton, Kevin Smith, Zach galifanakis, Adele, Jessica Simpson, Mariah Carey...point is not that they look excessively beautiful or handsome at x weight, but that features can massively change with weight going up vs down).

she likes being fat and what that brings.

I think that's right. You can't reach those weights without some part of you liking it/seeing it as having some benefit, even if you have to do massive mental gymnastics to get to that view. This is where "body positivity" goes wrong; not hating yourself for carrying an extra 5, 10, 20, even 70, is one thing, but embracing stretching and distorting your body far beyond recognition and what it was designed to be is, to understated it, unhealthy. When your body has lost all recognizable human shape, it may be a good time to say fuck body positivity; this is unacceptable, fuck the fetishists.

It's also possible and imo healthy to say, yes, I love and care for the inner "me," but I hate looking like this, and this flab has got to go.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

It's also been hot as hell the past month in Kentucky, could probably use a slight haircut like we used to give our longhair when she got older. Kept her cooler and she didn't have painful matting in her fur from not being able to clean herself as well. No matter how much brushing you gave her, she'd always get it with long fur, so every summer she'd get a nice grooming and a relatively short cut, and was much more comfortable overall. She was always back to full length for winter, so she'd get a monthly cleanup groom just to help keep her nice. I'd bet more Than anything though, Wasabi could use a sanitary groom, expeshulleee with how infrequently the litter box is likely cleaned.

If only there was a Pet Spa close to her flat /sarcasm

Note: there is one part of the amenities at the Henry for people who did not know.

 

[Suspicious Activity]

Is anyone familiar with WW able to reverse engineer the equation?

She’s 5’3”. She got 82 points. Find the unknown x, the weight she entered into the site. Because it was the only answer she failed to read aloud.
It may be that she entered her true weight OR do what she’s done before and enter her highest ever weight in order to get more points.
I’m kind of curious as to what she’s done.

 

[I call shenanigans]

Is anyone familiar with WW able to reverse engineer the equation?

People tried on her previous WW attempts and if my memory serves me correctly, no-one could get the points that high.

I do believe that the WW points calculator isn’t programmed correctly to take into account people as big as Amber. Either that or Amber lies about the points she’s been allocated. There’s no need for her to lie though because we all know she exceeds her daily points prett much every day.

 

[lol cow supreme]

2 Points for female, 3 points for age, 1 point for 5'-5' 10", Activity level points (0 mainly sitting) weight points start at a point for every 10 pounds

82-6 = 76 weight based points

760 pounds

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Is anyone familiar with WW able to reverse engineer the equation?

She’s 5’3”. She got 82 points. Find the unknown x, the weight she entered into the site. Because it was the only answer she failed to read aloud.
It may be that she entered her true weight OR do what she’s done before and enter her highest ever weight in order to get more points.
I’m kind of curious as to what she’s done.

Watcherspoint.com has a point allotment calculator. It's a few years old, so it might be a bit off from what WW currently uses (for example, it gives 42 weekly points instead of 28, so it might calculate daily points slightly lower than what WW currently does).

I tried everything, but couldn't get 82. The best I got was 71 points for a 10ft tall, 1100lb 18 year old who does heavy exercise (71 is where it maxes out). I only got 63 for Amber - even using her 'highest recorded weight' of 572.4lbs and the maximum exercise level (despite her actual level being lower than sedentary). She must be putting herself as an Olympian... AND found some sort of glitch in the WW calculator to get that many points, as they're supposed to max out at a certain weight (for example: a 700 woman doesn't need more points than a 500 lb woman, so they would get the same despite the 200lb difference, but a 300lb person and 100lb person get different points because of the 200lb difference). Again, if she ever went to an in-person meeting, this would be corrected - which is why she only does WW through the app.

Yeah yeah yeah! In early 2020 when she signed up for WW, she used her 'highest recorded weight' so she could eat like a glutton AND get all of those stupid weight loss keychains! She justified it by saying that she wanted to 'ease into' the program - and ended up eating more than she had been for the last couple of months and started gaining weight. That was funny.

 

[Surprised Pikachu]

A thought just popped into my head whilst I was scrolling the thread and thinking about Amber squealing (thanks @blubberlubber for that image). I wonder if they’ve been kicked out or refused a lease renewal by The Henry and it was at this point the ‘mutual’ decision to split up and go their separate ways was made?

Amber has stated before she can ‘hear her neighbours’ and they can most certainly hear her. Add onto that her nocturnal routine, Twinkie barking and the tempestuous relationship she has hinted at between her and Jade I wonder if complaints were made to the management and they were told their time was up. Jade maybe wanted to head back to NYC, Amber said no and the decision was made - initially mutual but obvs not as Amber fully believed she’d get her way in the end. It would explain why there was talk of moving prior to the split and everything we’re seeing now.

Ultimately who knows, but Eviction-Lynn has such a nice ring to it.

 

[maybe a pigeon]

WW drove me crazy because I already know the calorie counts of lots of food, so switching to a point system created a steep learning curve.

But WW worked well for two reasons: their emphasis on portion size, and steering me away from processed food. (The fact that they sell their own versions of processed food muddies the waters quite a bit, but anyways.)

A normal person’s reaction to high point values for processed foods is to fill their plate with lean protein, vegetables, and fruit.

It is not to start a diet with an almost empty refrigerator, plan no meals, order two takeout meals featuring French fries, cheeseburgers, etc., and then refuse to eat any zero-point foods because “zero-point foods still have calories!”

Amber, you complete and utter twatwaffle, you’re not supposed to be counting calories. Could you at least attempt to educate yourself about the diet you’re embarking on? No diet is going to work if you can’t be bothered to work the program.

She exists in the overlap in a Venn diagram depicting stupidity and trolling. It pisses me off that this increases engagement and puts money in her pocket. GAAAH make it stop.

 

[Suspicious Activity]

no-one could get the points that high.

82-6 = 76 weight based points

760 pounds

I tried everything, but couldn't get 82. The best I got was 71 points for a 10ft tall, 1100lb 18 year old who does heavy exercise. I only got 63 for Amber

This is bananas! Liar-Lynn strikes again. It wasn’t just the 82 either. She has an extra 28 spread over the week, of which she used 7 on day 1.
I don’t know what system she’s trying to screw or whether this is pure lies for her audience but at least it’s content for her. Without that lengthy sign-up section in the vlog she wouldn’t have made 8 minutes.
I’m not 100% on this but ironically, I think if she ate nothing but what she showed on her ‘day 1’ with the two take out meals, she could be losing weight. So I suppose time will tell. It all comes and goes in her face and chins first so it’s easy to eyeball.

And yes. Wasabi needs grooming! He’s probably matted to shit around his armpits and undercarriage. Why do deathfats who can’t keep themselves clean and groomed always have to have pets? I hope somebody’s walking Twinkie. She could always pay a professional (or casual) dog walker.

 

[Salvador Dali]

binging update, target haul, & negative thoughts | vlog

Spoiler: July 22, 2023 Archive

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Plot summary with commentary. Oh, what fresh hell is this!? Let's find out!

Spoiler: binging update, target haul, & negative thoughts | vlog

Awkward zoomed in pause of her neck/chest with voiceover. No one wants to hear you talk about your "chesticles". You film yourself with greasy matted hair and dirty clothes. You think any of us give a fuck about that stupid little ribbon hanging out of your shirt? (FYI, she does this 3 TIMES during this segment - and it gets even MORE annoying each time). Can you please, I don't know, create an Only Fans and use THAT platform to fatfish for your new caretaker? Kthxbye!

[Just giving you all a heads up that IF she DOES create an Only Fans, I'll be handing in my letter of resignation and you'll have to find another unhinged recapper to cover that].

She's now babbling about what she wants to film, but I'm not listening because
1] I'm still reeling from that closeup, and
2] Amber will just change her mind by the next video, so I'm not wasting my time.

Today is July 21st - Amber shows her phone calendar.

Amber needs to go to Target for more pens. HEY, PENTEL PENS!! Those are seriously decent pens for their relatively cheap price. Especially for lefties, as they dry pretty quickly and lefties are less likely to smudge them (still, train yourself to underwrite as well because the ink does take a few seconds to dry). Oh, and don't use these pens with really shit quality paper, or it will wick the ink right out of your pens, giving you really fat writing and draining the pens at warp speed...

...Sorry. I'm drifting here. Back to the (shit)show.

WAIT... Didn't she JUST buy 3 GIANT PACKS of generic gel pens on her last trip to Walmart/Target/whatever? Why isn't she using those pens now? Whatever.

Blah blah journaling blah blah therapeutic. It's so good that she's found something so therapeutic to keep her from crying/narc raging every 3 seconds, and to take her mind off of food - oh wait...

JUMPCUT!! Back from Target. Forgot to take BOLTH her phone and camera with her, so she couldn't film. Yes, I'm wearing my tinfoil hat, but I wouldn't be surprised if this is a lie to cover the fact that she actually didn't leave the house (as Jade isn't around to drive her). I bet Ambo just threw some unopened shit from Amazon into a bag to pretend she left the house. She kept the plastic bag just off-camera, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's what she really did.

HAUL TIME!! Shitty Paper Mate gel pens, putty blush, eyeliner, and 2 more shitty journals.

WANNABE LEGO UPDATE!! Retro phone molment. She's having the time of her life (how pathetic).

JUMPCUT!! Amber's about to eat 'Chicken in a Biskit' crackers. When Amber was a little girl with methmama, she'd pig out on these while waiting for Thanksgiving dinner, so she thought these were only for Thanksgiving. This is just mindless babbling... and eating [SKIP]

JUMPCUT!! In the kitchen, going through her dishes because she's not going to keep most of them. She found an entire dish set that she didn't even know she had. Jade got them out of the cabinet for her because Amber's too fat to stand on a step stool to get them. Amber doesn't know what dish set she's keeping, despite just buying one of the sets less than a month ago.

Dish sorting [SKIP]

Removing eye makeup using makeup wipes because her left eye is bothering her. She feels like crap, so she wants to wear more makeup in her videos. Her feeling bad is the reason she puts on makeup and washes her hair right after a breakup. TRANSLATION: Ambo's fishing for a new ass-wiper - or has a potential one she's reeling in.

For her self-worth and self-love, Ambo claims to do things like washing her hair more often, wearing makeup, and going for walks. Amber pretends that she just went for a walk today. OH, this is TOTALLY to improve her self-worth and TOTALLY NOT to trap another borderline retard into being her slave. My mistake. (She's totally fatfishing).

Self-pity talk. Blah blah. Tree trunk laygs, huge arms, etc. Whatever, Ambo. Everything you're complaining about is self-inflicted. Go cry to someone else lol.

JUMPCUT!! Amber made sure to keep scratching at her left eye, so it can look nice and red for the camera. Blames it on petting Wasabi. WASH YOUR HANDS.

Back to the popcicle stick shit. Amber spent the time writing out the questions, so she might as well use the content. *Sigh*

Question "Do you think you have binge eating disorder again?"

Answer. Amber doesn't know. She thinks she's been binging again. Her outpatient therapy told her that she can binge without B.E.D. - but it's only a few times a year. If it's a few times per week, it might be B.E.D. Her food intake is the worst it's been in a couple of years.

PO BOX TIME!! Amber got a braille book. She cried because it was powerful (for personal reasons she doesn't want to talk about). Amber's screening her PO BOX because recently she got multiple massive amazon boxes full of little Debbie snack cakes and candy. Like, HUNDREDS of boxes. Amber's pretending that Jade is screening the packages to keep them from 'triggering' Amber. X to doubt. Also... you're ordering multiple massive takeout meals everyday, but Jade has to sort through your mail so you don't get triggered by a Honey Bun? BITCH PLEASE.

I'd tell her to go donate them to a shelter instead of being a wasteful bitch, but we all know this is a bullshit story that Ambo just pulled out of her shelf in order to shit on her audience and for vlog filler.

Again, IF true, this is self-inflicted. You aren't entitled to free stuff from people. Don't like it? STOP E-BEGGING! Oh, and Amber also got 'a laygo' in the PO Box.

Time to eat an Olly melatonin gummy and go to bed. Byee!!

TL;DR: Nontent and total fantasy. Amber eats crackers. Amber pretends that Jade took her to Target for pens. Amber pretends that Jade is still screening Amber's PO Box to make sure that the hundreds of packages of snack cakes she's been receiving are getting thrown out before Amber gets "triggered". Amber sorts through some dishes and discovers an entire set of dishes that she forgot she had. Amber's going to start doing her makeup and wash her hair more - but it's totally NOT to fatfish another caretaker, but for her 'self-worth' (it's to fatfish another caretaker). Oh, Amber is also starting to backtrack on her "I don't have B.E.D." declaration from the WLS storyline.

 

[The Poopsmith]

hamber: haaayyy I went to target and forgot my phone and my purse and my camera! das so weird!

That's cause felon has left the building and no longer drives her places. Gotta dig up an old target bag and get some some shit delivered

 

[Xenomorph]

Now we are back to binging lmao
Jesus Christ Amber shut up.

 

[TardiX]

So is the fake empathy over the braille book a redemption in her eyes (no pun intended) for sayin Stevie Wonder isn't blind?

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Used this site. 5'3" female at 500 lbs (it's the highest this calculator lets you input), put in that she's T2 diabetic, and you'll get 81 points. Diabetes is the only way I could get close to her allotted points.

 

[snaggletooth]

Used this site. 5'3" female at 500 lbs (it's the highest this calculator lets you input), put in that she's T2 diabetic, and you'll get 81 points. Diabetes is the only way I could get close to her allotted points.

If you put in 5'3 500 lb no diabetes (according to amber) it give u 76 points doing that math 500/76 would be 1 point for every 6.5 pounds 82-76=6 more points adding 36 pounds meaning she would be 536.

 

[maybe a pigeon]

Of course she’s eating Chicken in a Biskit crackers.

I’m watching Gorlworld Ireland’s reaction, and he’s wondering WTH they are. Dude, you don’t want to know.

But with quality ingredients like white flour, oil, salt, MSG, and dehydrated cooked chicken, how could Amber resist?

 

[AnonymousThrowLala]

That's cause felon has left the building and no longer drives her places. Gotta dig up an old target bag and get some some shit delivered

I agree that Jade is long gone. What I don’t understand is: what is the point of this farce?

1. Everyone thinks it’s weird and unhealthy for them to remain living together in the first place.
2. It is less likely to attract a replacement caretaker since they might think Jade is hovering around and possibly opining on their looks/messages they’re trying to share only with ALR. AND if 2 people stay in the same living arrangement, there’s a chance they could get back together (especially now that ALR has just released a video sobbing about how she wants Jade back).

What’s the angle?

 

[FarmVille]

What’s the angle?

The angle is that she has pre recorded content to stretch out that is going to require Jade still living there. Like the canceled doctors appointment shopping trip.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Edit: This was an attempt to respond to @snaggletooth but my quote got swallowed by troons, apparently. Fucking site goofiness.

Unfortunately, been playing with it and have discovered that it is not a linear function. It appears to be a janky-as-fuck log scale that I haven't quite cracked yet (and am a bit too busy rotting my brain with cycling to bother with).

Wish that would hold, but it doesn't. Just for demonstration's sake, put in a 32 y/o female at 5'3" and 130 lbs - she gets 23 points. Same female at 150 gets the same amount of points. Ramp it up to 200 - STILL 23 points. But 250? 30 points. 300? 39 points. 350? 48. So clearly logarithmic scaling is at play.

Fuck it. I'm getting back to watching stage 20 so I can be up to date for stage 21 tomorrow and the start of the TdF Femmes avec Zwift.